Chapter 157 - A What I've Done Story
The boy thought.
Certainly, what the Leader said might have some truth. To fight and survive against the infected and lawless people from now on, strong people are needed. People who can fight, and those who can support the fighters with their skills and knowledge even if they can't fight.
But the weak, those who can't fight, and those with no knowledge or skills are, as the Leader said, nothing but a waste of resources. Now everyone is doing their best just to protect themselves, and there are almost no people with the leeway to protect someone else. In that case, the targets to be protected would be prioritized for people with some skill, such as doctors or engineers. It's a waste to allocate manpower to protect people who can't fight and don't have any useful special skills.
And there is no leeway to share all supplies, starting with the insufficient food, among everyone. If a small amount of food were shared among everyone, everyone would collapse from lack of physical strength. There is a saying, "If you scramble for it, it's not enough; if you share it, there's plenty," but now even if shared, supplies are not enough.
If so, the ones to whom supplies should be preferentially allocated are the people who can fight. Which is better: giving supplies to the weak as well and having everyone starve to death, or selecting the people who should survive to ensure the survival of humanity?
It's nothing special. The Leader just has the same ideology as what the boy had been thinking. The difference is whether one has the strength of will to carry out that thought and whether one has the power to execute it.
The Leader has the status of a politician, and that hasn't faded even now. Many people belong to The Brotherhood, and all of them either have the strength to fight and survive the infected or have some special skill. And weapons and supplies are also abundantly available.
If the Leader makes full use of his status and the practical organization called The Brotherhood, it would be easy to survive this world where infected and ruffians roam. As the Leader said, it should even be possible to create a new world after the infected have died out.
Creating a new world. That phrase has a very attractive ring to it.
On top of that, the boy said.
"How stupid."
That was the boy's reply to the invitation from the Leader.
"Survival of the fittest, is that all you can say? What kind of charismatic politician are you? The adults who voted for a guy like you are quite the idiots."
"I thought for sure you would agree with me, but let me hear the reason for that for now."
"The answer is simple. Because the world you made has no future."
The boy knows. He knows what awaits at the end of that.
"What you're trying to make isn't a new world; it's hell. A world where everyone turns into a demon to survive and loses their humanity. Who do you think would want such a world?"
"Hell, huh. If you have a basis for it becoming so, let me hear it."
"Because I've been creating that hell."
Evacuation centers full of corpses. Children lying around covered in blood. And the despairing face of a woman being swallowed by a muddy stream.
"I was thinking the same thing as you. Since the world has become like this, the old way of living doesn't work. You can't survive unless you become ruthless, and the people who couldn't do that died. So my way of living is correct. Survival of the fittest, it can't be helped that the weak die. You can do anything to survive..."
"Then, won't you understand my thinking?"
"I also tried to convince myself that my thinking was correct. But it's impossible. In the end, I'm an ordinary human. The reason I set up the logic of survival of the fittest was just because I wanted to escape from the sins I committed. I'm not wrong; the people killed by the infected are at fault. The people weak enough to be killed by me are at fault. I'm right, I'm not wrong...
But it was impossible. No matter how I made excuses for myself or tried to push the responsibility onto someone else, what I did was wrong. I created hell by myself."
Therefore, the boy looked into the Leader's eyes.
"If there's someone who sympathizes with your ideology from the bottom of their heart, that person is either a psychopath who doesn't care if people die or a piece of trash. But the vast majority of people in the world aren't those kinds of people. Everyone was an ordinary person who lived normally before. No matter how many excuses you make, no one can escape from the sins they committed. You'll be caught between excuses to yourself and guilt, and eventually, you'll break."
The boy remembers the hallucination he saw at the ruined school. That hallucination might also have been something that overflowed from the emotions he had suppressed in the depths of his heart. It must have been a plea from his subconscious to himself, who continued to make excuses that it was to survive while knowing his actions were wrong.
"What you're trying to do is, except for some crazy people, to throw everyone who is living into hell. For someone like you who thinks the world of survival of the fittest is correct, the weak deserve to die, and it doesn't matter if you kill them, the world you make would be heaven. But for ordinary people, people who have lived normally until now, the world you make is hell. The fact that the weak have no value means you can't live unless you keep fighting, keep killing enemies, and keep proving you're a strong person."
Survival of the fittest. Has the person who preaches that ever considered that they might fall into a weak position and be eaten as meat?
"Even if you succeed in wiping out the infected, what will be made after that is hell. It's definitely not a peaceful world. Do you want to make hell?"
The Leader says nothing.
"There's something I want to ask you. A guy from The Brotherhood I caught before said that children are useless and are weak existences that must be protected, so they aren't needed in The Brotherhood. How are you going to create the future if you don't have children?"
"It's an emergency now. We don't have the leeway to care for children. Of course, once I restore order, I intend to protect children up to a certain age."
"Have you ever thought about what kind of world the children who were taught from a young age that it's survival of the fittest, the weak have no value so you can do whatever you want to them, will make? The people who grow up like that are no longer human; they are just beasts wearing human skin."
The boy was thinking about the world after the infected were gone. If humans win the battle against the infected and eventually restore society. If the common ideology there was survival of the fittest, and a society with the value that the weak deserve to die and it's okay to kill them was created, could the people living there be called human?
"Humans are different from beasts. Humans are supposed to help each other and overcome difficulties together, but is there any value in humanity surviving even if it means throwing away that humanity?"
"What you're saying sounds like a platitude. In this era, how many people do you think can stick to that platitude?"
"You're an adult, right? You're a politician, right? If an adult politician doesn't say platitudes, who is going to make the world better? What the world needs now is the hope that everyone will help each other to live, not cutting off the weak."
"I see. But do you have the right to say that? From what I've heard, it seems you've taken the lives of many people to survive until now."
No matter what excuses he lined up, the things the boy had done until now wouldn't be erased, nor would they be forgiven. He didn't know who could forgive him, but the boy couldn't forgive his own actions.
What the Leader had done and what the Leader was thinking were the same as what the boy had done and thought a little while ago. He used others, hurt them, stole, and killed. There is no value in weak people; one must become strong to survive. The reason he is still living like this now is that his actions were correct, and the people who died were wrong.
The difference from the Leader is whether it was an action due to an ideology that had soaked into the depths of his heart, or whether it was an excuse piled up by a weak person who was cornered.
If there is a hell, he will end up going there. The boy felt so as he looked back on his actions.
"Certainly, what I did isn't much different from what you've done. But I've finally understood. I want to live as a human, humanely."
"Living humanely? The people who said that died in no time. Because of silly humanism, they were killed by infected who were family or friends. The people who said let's all get along also died without even being able to resist properly when rioters attacked. Human rules don't work in the current world."
"That's the same as the infected. Losing reason and just killing and eating. I refuse such a way of living."
Saying so, the boy glared at the Leader.
Certainly, the boy has no right to criticize the Leader's way of life or way of thinking.
But he refused to step into further hell together with him.
"...I guess I didn't have an eye for people. I was expecting things from you."
"Even if I'm chosen by you, I'm not honored in the slightest."
"I see, then unfortunately you'll be an enemy. Since you're an enemy, I have no choice but to eliminate you."
Eliminating him probably meant killing him, but strangely he wasn't afraid.
Until now, the boy had been afraid of dying, and for that reason, he had survived alone even by sacrificing many lives. But even facing death now, fear doesn't well up. Is anger toward the Leader winning over the fear of death?
"But it's a waste to just kill you; it's a waste of talent. Do you know the phrase 'Give the people bread and circuses'?"
"I don't know it. It's your words, so it's probably nothing good anyway."
"It's the words of an ancient Roman poet. It means to gain the support of the people, you should give them food and entertainment. You're going to do a circus for us."
Saying so, the Leader opened the door of the room and instructed the waiting guards to "Take him away." Immediately, two guards stood on both sides of the boy, grabbed his arms, and started walking. The boy was led out of the room as if being dragged by the guards.
Being made to do a circus definitely didn't mean making the people of The Brotherhood laugh with some kind of performance.
Thinking that, the boy felt a little dark, but even so, regret for his choice didn't well up.
I look forward to your opinions and impressions.