Chapter 9 - Chapter 8: Magic Control Practice
Breathe slowly and deeply. Close your eyes. Concentrate.
Sit like a stone statue on a rock, both hands resting on your knees with palms facing up.
Release all tension in your body, relax your muscles, yet sharpen your nerves even further.
You cannot hear the sounds around you. Only a clear, high-pitched sound... Kiiiii... n... echoes quietly, allowing you to feel the mana filling every corner of your body.
Slowly push that mana from your feet to your waist, from your abdomen to your chest.
Then, push the mana you have brought up to your chest into both arms.
The heightened mana resists, trying to push back, but you ignore it and force it in. It travels from your elbows to your forearms, finally gathering only at your wrists and beyond.
Maintain that state.
If your concentration breaks even for a moment, the gathered mana will instantly return to its original state.
It is crucial to maintain this state for even a short while.
Splash.
"Uhyaaaaaahhh!?"
Cold water was suddenly poured down my back, and I couldn't help but let out a scream.
"Ahahaha! Hyaa! Ahahahaha!"
"Mika-chan, what are you doing?"
"Let's play."
Children were bathing in the river.
One week had passed since I obtained a clue to manipulating mana, and the month had changed.
The season was already turning to summer, and today I had come to play in the river at the invitation of the village children.
Recently, I had been practicing mana manipulation constantly, not playing with the children.
I thought I should play with them once in a while, so I accepted their invitation.
(The temperature has risen lately, hasn't it.)
In a world without air conditioning, staying inside isn't too hot as long as you open the windows.
But I had been cooped up at home lately, so I came here intending to get some Vitamin D.
I came to the river, but I couldn't bring myself to make a racket with the children, so I ended up practicing mana manipulation again.
Sitting on a stone in the river, a cool breeze blows from the river water.
So I just sat there, and apparently, the children played a prank and splashed me with water.
Since cold water was suddenly dumped on my back, it was natural that I let out a scream.
I gave up on manipulating mana, lowered my crossed legs, and dipped them into the river.
"Ahhh, that feels good."
Dipping my bare feet into the cold river water, I felt the flow of the clear stream.
Combined with the babbling of the river, I felt refreshed.
I counted the number of children and checked if everyone was present.
The river was about ten meters wide. The depth wasn't significant, but the current in the center seemed a bit fast.
I decided to be a little careful so the children wouldn't get swept away.
That said, for the children of Rish Village, the river is a familiar playground.
Everyone knows the center of the river is dangerous, so this is just a precaution.
I splashed a child who was nearby while still sitting on the rock, and in return, I got splashed with several times more water.
As I watched the children squeal with joy, I thought that sometimes this kind of thing isn't bad.
Of course, only sometimes.
I would never ask for it every day.
I don't think for a second that I could become a daycare worker or an elementary school teacher.
So, spending the morning at the river, eating bread and fruit for lunch at home, I practiced mana manipulation in the afternoon.
At first, I was just moving it, but this became a bit of a struggle.
Especially after waking up in the morning was the most difficult.
I couldn't manipulate mana while sleeping, so naturally, upon waking, my mana was in a stable state.
It was simply difficult to shake that stable state.
And while moving the shaken mana like a pendulum from right to left was easy, keeping it gathered to the right, or moving only a part of the mana, those operations were troublesome.
The feedback was extremely faint, so I couldn't tell if it was working until I tried for a while.
However, I managed to get somewhat proficient at those operations within a few days.
Then I started the operation of gathering mana.
This was the operation of gathering it into each hand, which I had also done at the river.
At first, I could only do one place at a time, either the right hand or the left hand.
But as I got used to it, gathering into both hands became relatively easy.
This was because the feedback of the mana had changed.
When I was just moving the mana, there was no change in the feedback, but since I started this "gathering" operation, I could clearly feel the feedback more easily.
Even from the stable state upon waking, I could move it easily.
I suspected that perhaps the amount of mana inside me had increased, or its concentration had risen, so I was actively performing this mana-gathering operation now.
Right now, I still can't manipulate mana well without concentrating my consciousness.
I want to raise this to a level where my fingers move without consciousness, like blind typing on a keyboard.
"I want to use magic soon..."
There are many things I don't understand, like chanting or praying to the gods, but I just want to use magic.
Anyone would want to surely master such a dream-like power if given the chance.
I have no intention of sparing any effort for that.
...Provided it's a problem that can be solved by effort.
In reality, the feedback of my mana has changed over the last few days, but whether that means I've made any progress is dubious.
First, I have no way to measure my mana capacity.
When I measured it at the Village Head's house, strange men were there, and the crystal used to measure mana was likely brought by those men.
According to Radi, every spring they visit all the villages to measure the children's mana capacity.
They are probably officials from the country or this territory.
If that is the only way to measure mana capacity, there is no way to confirm whether the effort I am putting in is meaningful.
Next is the measurement at age nine.
If I don't meet the standard when measured then, everything I am doing now will have been meaningless.
I want to avoid taking the test without preparation if possible.
I want to find some criterion or evidence that I am growing.
And the biggest problem is praying to the god.
To be honest, I have never prayed.
Of course, I have wished things.
"I want this to happen."
"Please make this happen."
But that is probably different from prayer.
Fundamentally, I don't understand what praying actually is.
If they tell me to read the church scriptures, to read them aloud, I can do as told.
If they tell me to memorize passages praising the god, I will memorize as many as they want.
But is that prayer?
What is a prayer that reaches the god?
Unless it is something measurable in a visible form, I couldn't quite figure out what to do.
(Well, if I can sneak into the academy, praying and such will probably work out.)
Since they train brand-new children selected solely by talent every year, there must be manuals and know-how to some extent.
Anyway, if I can just get selected in the age-nine measurement, the rest will surely work out.
It is still about a year and a half away, but I thought that was the most reliable path.
I want to avoid the route of being taught by the church if I am not selected in the age-nine measurement.
This is just my impression, but they wake up before dawn, do service activities like cleaning, and spend their days reading and writing thick scriptures.
My spirit surely wouldn't last that long.
Even as an indoor person like me, I would die from stress.
If I am taught at the church, I might indeed be able to use magic.
But it's not just about being able to use it.
Magic is merely a means; what matters is how to live amusingly with it.
Honestly, I think it's dubious whether going to the church will achieve that.
Well, there is the option of learning everything and then returning to secular life, but I really don't want to be so ungrateful.
I have a favorite saying: "Kindness bestowed is washed away by water, but kindness received should be carved in stone."
I can't act like a saint, but I am trying to keep that in mind.
By the way, there is also the phrase "Grudge of the Eye-Corner" (Gaisai no Urami).
It is a word representing the anecdote of a certain Prime Minister in ancient China who "repaid even the grudge of merely being glared at."
This person is said to be a terrifying individual who "repaid even the kindness of a single meal and the grudge of merely being glared at."
Such cruelty is a bit much, I think, but I don't want to become a person who forgets kindness easily.
I lean back against the chair's backrest, cross my arms, and rest my chin on my hand.
(A way to confirm that my mana capacity is increasing... Is there anything? If I ask Radi, she might tell me.)
That "Laughing Virgin Mary" would know various things, but I want to avoid her for now.
Judging by her reaction when I asked her the other day, she doesn't seem to think much of me doing all sorts of things right now.
Radi's thinking is probably to wait for natural growth.
(Even if I leave it to natural growth, there is no basis to say I should do so or that it is fine.)
One and a half years.
It is too long to spend idly.
It is too short to accomplish anything.
With the goal set but the means being felt out, Mika felt a sense of anxiety.
(...Weak, thin, like a thread.)
Radi's words from the other day suddenly came to mind.
(She said she pushed it into my hand...?)
When Radi interfered with my mana, she just lightly placed her hand on mine.
Her palm did not touch mine.
But the first place I felt the ripple was my palm.
I look at my palm.
"Can mana be released outside...?"
Radi stretched her mana like a thread, touched my palm, and pushed it in.
If the amount of mana I release outside increases, wouldn't that be evidence that my mana capacity has increased?
There is still a part that relies on sensation, but it serves as a starting point.
If I practice releasing a fixed amount, I can compare the increase in mana capacity numerically by how many times I could do it.
Even if there is some error in the amount released per time, if I can go from ten times to twenty or thirty times, that is clearly evidence of an increase.
"This is it!"
I couldn't help but shout and strike a victory pose.
It is just a hypothesis, but it was a ray of light I saw while wondering what to do.
I will try it right away.
I sit like a stone statue on the chair, palms up on my knees.
This is the pose I usually do when gathering mana.
Recently I had been practicing gathering into both hands, but for now, one hand should be fine.
I concentrate my consciousness and gather mana with the image of pushing it up in order from my feet, as usual.
It passes through my right shoulder and elbow, I feel strong resistance, but I ignore it and push it in.
Once everything has gathered beyond my wrist, I look at my right hand.
I hold my right hand in front of my eyes and stare at it, pushing the mana up onto my palm.
Then, the entire right hand is enveloped in a faint bluish-white light.
(...It appeared...!)
Although surprised, I take care not to lose concentration and push the bluish-white light further up.
Then, imagining a sphere and visualizing the light gathering, a sphere about the size of a softball appears on my palm.
(I did it...!)
I didn't expect to succeed immediately after trying, so I was surprised by this result myself.
I exhaled... and the sphere of light dissipated silently in an instant, floating away like mist.
After catching my breath, it seems my concentration broke, enough to maintain it.
"It appeared! It appeared! Seriously! Or rather, can you see it with your eyes!?"
I didn't think mana was visible to the eye.
If it is visible, it should be easy to keep the release amount constant.
"Rather than making it a fixed amount, if it's visible, is simple size comparison okay?"
The one just now was about the size of a softball, but how big would it get if I made it as large as possible?
Would it become the size of a bowling ball or a large watermelon?
Since it is visually recognizable, there seem to be various comparison methods.
I try to make it larger again, exhaling... haaa.
I was so excited I didn't notice, but there was a slight fatigue in my body.
"...Speaking of which, Radi said handling mana is tiring."
Remembering what Radi said, Mika stretched on the chair.
The lethargy remains, but loosening my body has made me feel energetic.
"It's meaningless if it's a fluke. I have to get a feel for it by doing it a few times."
I assume the same pose as before and concentrate my consciousness.
But this time, I struggled to gather the mana.
I might be mentally tired as well.
It doesn't gather as I want.
It seems my concentration is lacking.
I carefully gather the mana over time and push it into my right hand.
Imagining pushing it up, my right hand is enveloped in bluish-white light, but the light feels a bit weak.
Did my concentration drop, or did the mana inside me decrease?
I visualize a sphere, and the mana forms the shape as imagined, but this time it is not as big as a softball.
It was about the size of a baseball.
(...Is it a problem of concentration, or a problem of mana capacity?)
As I was thinking that, suddenly something rose up in my stomach.
"Ugh!?"
I jumped off the chair, covered my mouth, and ran out of the front door, rolling along.
I heard the loud sound of the chair falling, but I had no time to care about that.
I vomited everything in my stomach into the grass bush next to the house, but the nausea didn't stop.
I kept vomiting for a while until even stomach acid ran out, but I kept vomiting anyway.
As time passed, the nausea subsided a little.
Was my sense of balance disturbed? I stumbled with unsteady steps and somehow made it back into the house, pouring water from the water jar into a cup with a ladle.
I swished the water in my mouth to rinse it out.
Then I drank the water, but the moment I swallowed, I was struck by nausea again and stumbled out.
I repeated drinking and vomiting several times, and finally gave up on taking in fluids.
I put the cup back on the table and collapsed right there.
(...Seriously, this is bad... What is... this.)
I reach out to stand up and put my hand on the table, but my limbs tremble violently.
(...I can't stay here. At least, to the bed...)
Recently I have worried Amalia and Loretta often.
I don't want to worry them any more than this.
If I lie down in bed, I can make an excuse that I just took a nap.
I gather strength in my trembling limbs.
I slowly stand up, support my body on the table, and put the fallen chair back in place.
Then, somehow managing to reach the bedroom, I collapsed onto the bed and lost consciousness.
■■■■■■
I woke up and looked around, but it was still bright.
Looking out the window, it seems it is not yet evening.
(...I must have been unconscious for at most two hours? It hasn't been three hours.)
I slowly sit up my body, which still feels lethargic, and get off the bed.
My body is heavy, but I am not stumbling.
I leave the bedroom, take the cup on the table, and pour water with a ladle.
I drink the water down with a gulp and take a breath.
The nausea is gone, and the only thing reminding me of the sudden change in my condition is the lethargy.
(What was that?)
Sitting on the chair and leaning back against the backrest, I consider my condition from before.
Sudden severe nausea, and fatigue so bad I couldn't stand.
I haven't experienced fainting like this since the heatstroke the other day; it is only the second time in my life.
I have already fainted twice since coming to this world.
(...Well, the heatstroke was unavoidable, but why this time...?)
I stare at my right hand.
The only thing I can think of regarding what I was doing at that time is one thing.
(Because I released the mana inside me to the outside...?)
The first time I tried, it was a sphere of light about the size of a softball.
What happened to that sphere?
It seemed to dissipate into the air.
I myself did not imagine the sphere of light returning to me.
If that is the case, then as it appeared, it likely dissipated into the air and disappeared.
Thinking that the mana for that amount was lost from inside me is probably correct.
And the second time I tried, it was a sphere of light about the size of a baseball.
It was smaller than the first time.
I gathered the mana in the same way, and I felt the second time was even harder to gather, so I gathered it more carefully.
Still, I could only create a sphere smaller than the first time.
(It might be rash to jump to conclusions, but the only thing that comes to mind is mana.)
If mana decreases too much, it has a strong effect on one's physical condition.
It feels natural to think so.
(Speaking of which, Radi told me not to overdo it.)
Perhaps this is why she said to wait for natural growth first?
(...Is ignoring the precious advice of the ancestors the act of a fool?)
I can't help but smile bitterly at my own shallowness.
Like a child who has just acquired a new "toy," I became obsessed with this "mana" toy.
But---.
(I gained a rare experience. My current mana is equivalent to one softball and one baseball.)
My bitter smile had somehow turned into a smile of satisfaction.
If I use this as a standard, I can judge whether my mana has increased.
Being able to clearly define my limit is a big thing.
Knowing what happens when I reach the limit was also a harvest.
(So, if it becomes hard to gather mana, I should stop there? That means I can go up to that point.)
In the future, when my mana increases, it will serve as a benchmark saying, "The limit is getting close."
I feel a sense of exhilaration as a milestone on the path to a gradually becoming clear goal.
(...Well then, I will follow the precious words of the ancestors.)
I stretch widely on the chair, loosening my body that still retains lethargy.
"To learn moderation, I will allow myself a moderate overdoing it."
So, quoting Diego's words, I began practicing moving my mana again.