Chapter 70 - His and Her Circumstances
When she came to her senses, she had returned to the private quarters of the Demon Lord's Castle. Louis was no longer there.
It was the time of night when she would usually be asleep. Unable to even feel lonely, she let out a breath of relief.
When she raised her face, thinking that she could now return to her 'daily life'—the torment inflicted upon Elenoa seemed to be continuing.
She could not even react. She could do nothing but watch the memories repeating before her eyes.
Shall I show you?
Someone who said such a presumptuous thing forcibly imposed happy memories upon her. The owner of that voice surely understood how much this trampled upon Elenoa's spirit, and that was likely why they were doing this.
Why. Who. For what purpose.
Elenoa was so exhausted that she could not think, despite the questions arising in her mind.
Creak, creak, ... creak. The chair was rocking.
It was something Elenoa often used, but now the semi-transparent Louis was sitting in it. With Elenoa wrapped in a blanket on his lap, he was warming himself by the fire in the fireplace. It seemed to be winter.
'This is the first time I have seen you say that you are cold.'
—Yes, her body had been cold. Her throat felt as if it would freeze from her own breath.
Although that body must have been as cold as ice, Louis firmly supported the dying fairy.
'Is there anything you desire? Anything at all is fine. Not just things you want, but things you wish to have done. If it is within my power, I will make it happen.'
Louis had always asked Elenoa. Do you desire anything?
'...I'
'Wh... what is it?'
Elenoa, wrapped in the blanket, answered.
Louis brought his ear close to her mouth, not wanting to miss her voice.
'I don't want it'
'...Elie?'
'...I want to go, with, Louis'
'............'
'It hurts, so much, I... hate... it... no'
Rough and dry, a sound that could hardly be called a voice, a dream, a wish, a hope, Elenoa uttered it.
Unable to even speak conjunctions properly, that pitiful utterance—Elenoa remembered it.
'Ah...'
Unaware that the future Elenoa was watching her coldly, she, wrapped in the blanket, began to gasp in pain. Unable to even moan, it had become a grating noise like a harsh winter wind.
At that time, Louis had stopped even trying to encourage her.
He simply let Elenoa rest her head on his shoulder as if she were spoiling him, felt her weak breath against his collarbone, gently stroked her head, and waited for her to sleep.
And then, after Elenoa had fallen asleep.
'I understand'
Louis replied.
'I will do my best so that you do not suffer any more. Let us live together'
As he said this, dark circles had already formed under his eyes.
—What more are you going to strive for?
Elenoa opened her mouth, but she realized her voice would not reach him.
Louis's monologue continued.
'Once you regain your health, if that happens... if that happens, why don't we try increasing our family?'
It was merely empty.
Even though the person who should be listening had lost consciousness in his arms, he wore a calm expression. He stroked the limp Elenoa's head, caressed her cheek, and slid his index finger over her lips, which had lost their moisture. Narrowing his eyes affectionately, he reflected his wife in his pitch-black pupils.
'It is not as a substitute for that child. Let us create a family connected by blood. We will raise them with your cooking, and I will teach them; it will surely be fun. Bis will surely become a good older brother'
He laughed, hahaha.
'So, for now, I will heal your body, and after that—'
Louis laughed.
'I must do something about the things that frighten you'
From Elenoa's eyes, which had heard his quiet madness, large tears spilled over.
In this room, on that day, at that moment. Or perhaps even before that, a deadly weapon had been shining in the boy's heart.
—That's not it.
What Elenoa had wanted, the place Elenoa had wanted to go, the birdcage Elenoa had wanted to live in, was not a world where Louis became the villain.
She had just wanted to live peacefully, without pain, as she had when Lumina was there, in that warm home.
The reason she could not say 'I want to go back' was because Lumina was no longer there.
So even if it wasn't that home, as long as her body didn't hurt, as long as Louis was by her side, that would have been enough.
'It is a promise. A world where you can live safely—'
And yet, he had executed this 'promise' in his own way.
"...Louis..."
In the room where the phantom had vanished, Elenoa whispered his name.
He had changed. To support the fragile and sacred burden, he had wasted himself away.
—For my sake.
'That's why I wondered why Louis-kun becomes the Demon Lord-sama'
'I have no intention of becoming the Demon Lord'
At some point, they had had such a conversation.
When Louis actually became the Demon Lord, she had even thought it was natural. Because it was something decided 'in the game'.
By the time she woke up, it was already too late, and she had stopped thinking, accepting it as just how things were.
She had lost her younger sister as well, and since he probably hated humans extremely, she thought it was only natural.
But she never imagined that the trigger was the fairy 《herself》.
That this failed wife was the one who swayed his choices.
She had tried not to think about such things—tried to avoid thinking about them.
Elenoa, who had lived by letting herself be swept along, had done 《no》《thing》《at》《all》. —As a result, she had cornered him.
Clinging to him, crying that it hurt, sometimes even saying "you don't have to survive," her thoughtlessness had imposed a "future of loneliness" upon him, who had just lost his sister.
Rejecting the measures necessary for survival, she had excessively blamed him while being indulged by him. The result was this unsightly mess.
'Shall we invite the protagonist and try recreating the game once?'
To his statement, which considered the murder of the entire party, Elenoa had brightly answered, "That might be nice."
'Is it painful for the Hero's Party to die?'
'It is painful, isn't it? One way or another, I have never killed a human. Besides, not just humans, but Louis too, somehow... I feel like you're going far away'
Not knowing for whose sake, Elenoa had anxiously worried in a carefree manner.
'I am here for my own sake. You do not need to think about it'
'This is merely a miniature garden. A small world created with reference to the game world'
There had been many opportunities to understand.
'It is not your fault! You have not hurt anyone! You, the fairy, were merely being tossed about by us humans!'
—No. Over the course of a year, I pushed him off the cliff.
'Just, realize for whose sake Louis's actions are!'
—Yes. I understand. I finally understand now.
I am sorry. I did not realize until it came to this.
In his arms, covered in mud and blood, the white fairy smiled innocently.
How ugly, how filthy, how impure, how lowly, how insidious.
Behind her, someone chuckled.
A voice she should not know, yet did know. A woman's voice. It was neither clear like Claire's nor cute like Lumina's; it was somewhat similar to her own voice.
Who are you?
The arms of the 'someone' there embraced Elenoa.
—It is your fault.
The moment it was whispered in her ear, those arms vanished.
From Elenoa's eyes, large tears fell.
"...Help me..."
Help me. Help me. It is painful.
Help me. Help me. I shouldn't be regretting anything, yet my chest feels unbearably tight.
—What are you resisting? Louis becoming the Demon Lord was decided from the start.
—I don't know. I just feel terribly sad that he kills people for someone like me.
I certainly hate humans. I even think they can just fight their own wars.
But if it was 《me》 who put the knife in his hand.
The pressure she realized was heavier than anything she had ever felt, and she felt as if she would be crushed. No, she had been crushed. Just knowing a part of what she had left entirely to him until now was this painful.
—Someone, help me.
She desired someone other than Louis. But the one who rushed to her was, as expected, him.
"Elenoa!"
Judging it an emergency, Louis had transferred directly into Elenoa's private quarters. He was wearing only a simple jacket over his nightclothes, revealing his state of panic.
"Does it hurt anywhere? Did someone do something to you?"
Placing his hands on Elenoa's shoulders, he asked gently. The tears overflowing from her eyes darkened the color of the carpet on the floor. When Louis noticed this, he pulled her into his arms.
He whispered with concern, asking what had happened, who had done what to her, if she wanted him to kill them, if she was injured, and shared his body heat to somehow soothe Elenoa.
It was a usual occurrence.
《For》《Elenoa》《's》《sake》.
Because she was crying, he had to do something. —If she did not sleep peacefully, he could not sleep either. The scars etched into his mind and body as past trauma had finally closed, with the heavy responsibility close to an obsession forming a scab.
His sense of responsibility and kindness were poured solely onto Elenoa, manifesting as blind doting. It was close to violence, accompanied by a rotten sweetness.
Is this what it means to be a married couple?
Killing his wife's enemies, protecting his wife, living. This kind of love, pushed through by turning the world into an enemy, is not as beautiful as one might imagine in stories.
"It is alright, it is alright"
He repeated "it is alright" in a voice intended to induce peace in Elenoa. Despite having no basis for it, the Demon Lord had gained the ability to say it with such conviction. The one who loved only his sole wife, Elenoa.
"I will protect you"
Jolt.
With just those words, as if struck on the cheek, Elenoa's tears stopped.
"No matter what sacrifices are made, I can protect only you. I believe I have acquired enough power for that, so please rest assured. You need only stay by my side without worrying about anything"
Elenoa felt nauseous at such lines.
—That's not it. That's not what I want you to say.
She did not need embarrassing words like those from old shoujo manga or otome games.
Without understanding how cruel those words were to Elenoa, the fact that they were whispered as if it were only natural deepened the black stain on Elenoa's heart. And it opened a hole. It gouged deeply, darkly, into the soft place inside her chest.
"I will absolutely protect you"
—That's not it.
—Because the one I really want to protect is not me...—.
"I'm sorry, Louis"
It was a meaningless apology.
Over his shoulder, Elenoa looked up at the furniture of the birdcage prepared for her. The light had vanished from her eyes, and she wore a hollow, expressionless face fitting for the Consort of the Dark Side.
Unaware of her state, Louis embraced her.
"What are you apologizing for? There is nothing for you to apologize to me for—"
"............"
"...I do not understand. I cannot hear your heart. It is closed, isn't it? I do not know why you are apologizing to me"
Elenoa had severed the 'connection' she had desired from herself.
Resting her cheek against the nape of his neck and feeling his warmth, Elenoa gently extended her arms. With slender arms that should have protected the boy from a hundred years ago, she enveloped the ruthless Demon Lord.
Confused and flustered by his wife's behavior, he said, "Um..." but intended to stay there until Elenoa was satisfied.
"I'm, sorry"
—I can't take it anymore—I feel like I'm breaking—I have broken.
What had collapsed all at once would not return.
She did not know when it had gone wrong, but at some point, it had gone wrong.
But now, even if she reversed her stance and appealed that it was a 'mistake', it was too late. The various things that had been sacrificed were left behind in time, and could not be retrieved.
If Elenoa, of all people, condemned him, Louis would surely break this time.
＊
And now.
I am sitting on the throne.
To be precise, on the lap of the Demon Lord-sama who sits on the throne.
"Elenoa," he gently shook me awake, and I slowly opened my eyes.