Chapter 114 - Cross
As for what happened after that, my status has changed just a little bit.
In other words, from entertainer to cleaner.
On the surface, I'm still doing television work as usual, but I continue a life of business trips following the occasional emails sent by Sugitani.
Most of the time, the destinations are dangerous places.
Whether it's a yakuza office, a hangout for delinquent youths, or a major corporation with an excessive number of missing persons.
I slip into those places pretending to be some guy from a pizza shop or a delivery company, and then I perform a status appraisal on the target.
If that person is a monster from another world disguised as a human, I assassinate them immediately and escape.
This is the repetition.
I don't know what kind of method he uses to identify them, but every target Sugitani has eyed as a "possible otherworldly person" has turned out to be guilty so far.
A hobgoblin disguised as a yakuza boss, a Lizardman posing as the leader of a Han-gure group, an Orc masquerading as a corporate accountant and eating up subordinates one after another...
I've become a specialized trash cleaner for dirty work, just like in my time in the other world.
If there's any difference, it might be the amount of compensation.
"...Five million, again..."
With a single request, an income that makes me doubt my eyes rolls in.
I can feel my hand trembling as I hold the bankbook.
Since I've completed three of Sugitani's requests so far, the total is fifteen million yen.
Including my pay as the magician Nakamoto, I might soon be able to consider purchasing a detached house.
I can't live in this apartment where corpses are found forever, so I look up at the ceiling.
Including the rooms for Angelica, Ayako-chan, and Philia, I'd want a reasonably large house.
Philia's room.
Surprised by how naturally such a thought welled up, I turn my eyes toward the bed.
There, Philia, who was once a cold-blooded High Priest, is breathing softly in sleep alongside Angelica.
A sleeping face that is completely defenseless, like that of a young girl.
A face that has lost all its titles and returned to being just Philia.
Perhaps because she has become mentally stable lately, she has moved past the stage where she needs help with her personal care.
Since her mental age is equivalent to a six-year-old, it's only natural she can handle the toilet by herself.
She's almost easier to handle than the original Philia, and I'm starting to think it might actually be better this way.
"No... what am I even saying..."
Considering humanitarian things and such, should I have her properly examined by a hospital to return her to normal?
That said, if she returns to her original personality, she'll become a wicked older sister who's hard to reason with.
As I cross my arms, thinking how troublesome that would be, Ayako-chan walks gracefully from the kitchen.
"Here, Nakamoto-san."
With a thud, a glass of water is placed on the table.
"It's time for your medicine."
While thinking that isn't the kind of line you say with a cheerful rising inflection, I turn my palm upward.
Then, as if she had been waiting for this, Ayako-chan hands the tablets to my hand.
"The more you take, the better you'll get, Nakamoto-san. Your mood will improve too."
"I don't really feel it, though," I mutter jokingly as I swallow the medicine.
By the way, these tablets were sent by Sugitani-san.
He tells me I must always take them, on the grounds that they are indispensable for someone like me who performs dirty work.
Because the human psyche is not built to kill people or animals.
It is a very common occurrence for soldiers or agents, who were supposed to be undertaking missions with a strong sense of duty, to commit suicide because they cannot endure the stress of killing.
Therefore, after I dispose of demi-humans, I am given plenty of care.
I receive counseling at a hospital and am prescribed various medicines.
Even though the targets are strictly not humans but demi-humans, this thoroughness is something else.
I sometimes think it's a bit too overprotective, but Sugitani insists that normally, even this wouldn't be enough.
Since I'm a superhuman who returned from another world and was caught with such effort, he probably thinks it would be a problem if I died.
And seeing the concern he occasionally shows, I can feel that he is genuinely worried about me.
In short, I don't think he's a bad man.
"...I guess I can call him my first 'White Boss' then."
Muttering that, I placed the empty glass on the table.
As the components of the medicine begin to take effect, I'll feel relaxed or sleepy. Though I don't really feel it yet.
As I wait blankly for the drowsiness to arrive, Ayako-chan leans in to peer at my face.
"By the way."
Ayako-chan asks if I've told my attending doctor about my time in the other world.
"No. I haven't."
"...Why...? If you told them, they would increase your dosage of medicine."
"Modern medicine is amazing," Ayako-chan says, holding up her index finger.
Having been raised by a professor in the sciences, she blindly believes in science.
"...It is medicine and counseling that will heal your wounded heart, Nakamoto-san."
"To fix the trauma from seventeen years of unwanted warfare... just how much medicine am I going to be forced to take? I'll end up a vegetable."
Besides, I continue.
"Isn't it bad to just act like all of this never happened?"
"...What do you mean by that?"
"The pain I feel is a necessary evil. It wouldn't be right for a person who killed someone to be released from this pain."
I didn't want to become a person like the villagers of the other world—the kind who shout "kill, kill" nonchalantly toward the warriors on the front lines from a distant safe zone. I didn't want to feel pleasure in killing enemies.
That's because it's no longer human.
The nausea and pain I feel every time I take a life. The nightmares that visit every night. Even if I am tormented by them, I want to remain human, feeling pain and resistance toward the act of killing.
Most of my body is already just a patchwork made of magic, but that is precisely why I wanted my spirit to remain human.
"It's incredibly exhausting every day... but I feel like just wiping it all away cleanly with the power of modern medicine is somehow wrong."
"You're stubborn," Ayako-chan says, knitting her brows.
A dark light begins to dwell in her eyes.
It seems she is genuinely angry.
It's terrifying beyond measure, but there are things I cannot compromise on.
"My head might certainly be a mess, but I believe this is the responsibility I must bear for the lives I've taken until now. I intend to take this broken spirit to my grave and use it as evidence when I am judged in hell."
Well, there's no heaven or hell on Earth, though, I try to joke.
However, Ayako-chan doesn't laugh at all. She just stiffens her shoulders and quietly whispers, "I see."
"...Angelica-san said that you are a genius at treating yourself poorly. I feel like I finally understand what she meant."
"Sorry for being a genius in such a weird direction."
"...That's exactly why a succession of women feel they can't leave you alone, I suppose. And I am one of them."
Ayako-chan lets out an exasperated sigh. I wonder if she understood.
She shakes her head, brushes back her bangs, and...
"It can't be helped, then."
She smiles.
"I guess I'll just have to spend my whole life curing you, after all."
Her tone sounded troubled, but Ayako-chan's expression also seemed somewhat happy.
For now, Chapter 4 is finished.