Chapter 174 - A Man's Tears
"Are you serious?"
Three in the afternoon.
I had called Sugitani-san out to a coffee shop about a ten-minute walk from my apartment.
One of my few understanding allies, and a Public Security Intelligence Agent.
A man with both status and authority.
To this person, who had walked a path of elite success completely opposite to my own, I confessed, "I'm thinking of getting engaged to a high school girl."
Sugitani-san then asked, with a dumbfounded expression, "Are you serious?", but his eyes looked as if he were observing some kind of rare beast. In reality, an old man claiming he's going to make a JK his fiancée is a rare beast on par with a tsuchinoko, so it couldn't be helped. It was a look of deliberation, as if thinking, "Wait, tsuchinokos actually exist? And what's more, it's trying to mate with a remarkably young female. Wouldn't crushing this be for the good of society?"
"...First of all, I'd like you to explain the circumstances in detail."
"Right. I'll tell you in order."
I passionately argued about the threat of Erin and how this was the most reliable method to lure her out.
Erin harbors romantic feelings for me, and stimulating that is the best approach.
Throughout, he interjected multiple times with, "Isn't it just that you simply want a high school girl as a wife?", "Wouldn't a female college student be acceptable?", "To be blunt, you're a lolicon, aren't you?", "What's the appearance of this otherworlder named Erin? A girl of thirteen or fourteen? You really are a lolicon. I'm astonished," and each time, I refuted him point by point.
"The woman who was my common-law wife over there and that high school girl are the spitting image of each other. That's why no one but her can fulfill this role."
"...What do you intend to do about your future talent activities? If an image spreads of you laying hands on a high school girl, I think it would be fatal for a celebrity."
"I want you to do something about that."
"I've been doing this job for a long time, but this is the first time I've had to provide cover for a client marrying a high school girl."
Sugitani-san brought his cup to his lips and sipped his coffee without a sound.
"So, who is this high school girl? The daughter from Otsuki Books?"
"Ah, so you do have a grasp of my social network."
"It's my job."
"Then you probably have a rough idea of the girls I'm close to, right?"
"...Certainly, I can narrow down the candidates to some extent... but... no way..."
It's not that girl, is it? he confirmed. That one with the bad attitude, he added.
"It's exactly that 'no way.' I intend to get engaged to that Rio Saito, who has the worst attitude imaginable."
"Raised in a single-mother household, her mother a cabaret club hostess with a history of dating yakuza, her biological father a washed-up host turned petty thug, her brother a notorious delinquent, and the girl herself of poor conduct—that Rio Saito?"
Just how bad is her reputation? I thought, letting out a dry laugh as I affirmed it.
"And so, I want you to reduce the social damage I'll incur by getting engaged to Rio to zero."
"That's impossible."
Absolutely impossible, Sugitani-san said, shaking his head.
"Can't you manage something? In order to make Erin jealous, I want to guide things into a nationwide celebratory mood and then announce the engagement openly."
"...Let me think for a moment."
Sugitani-san folded his arms and began muttering, "A legally active high school girl married woman... what on earth should we do..."
If a waitress saw us now, what would she think? That two old men are discussing a new adult video?
"Amateur participation type... using countless girls..."
"Um, you aren't actually devising some strange project, are you?"
"I am thinking of a perfectly sound plan to protect Nakamoto-san, but..."
"Is that so?"
"For now, a few ideas have come to mind. Let's get the women of the world moving. Public opinion can be guided that way."
"Are you going to manipulate information?"
"Something like that."
I had absolutely no idea what he was planning, but I decided to trust Sugitani-san's many years of career experience here.
I said, "Well then, let's leave it at that for today," and stood up.
But immediately, my arm was grabbed and I was detained.
"...What is it?"
"I have one condition."
"What kind?"
"Bring Rio Saito-san here."
"Why?"
Overwhelmed by Sugitani-san's forcefulness, I sat back down in the chair.
"I don't know what you think of me, Nakamoto-san, but despite appearances, I think highly of you."
"...Well, thanks."
"So far, you've handled every job I've asked of you properly. And while this may be none of my business, from someone my age, you're like a son to me. If you're being ensnared by some strange delinquent girl, I can't just overlook it."
"Huh?"
"It's just the meddling of an old man."
I had only thought of Sugitani-san as a "workaholic who occasionally loses his mind," but it seemed he had a surprisingly human side.
Apparently, he was genuinely worried about me.
The atmosphere made it impossible to say something like, "I plan to break off the engagement with Rio once the job is done. 'Sorry, sorry, I was just using you as bait,' I'll say. Haha, she'd probably be happy about it."
"If Nakamoto-san is blessed with a good match and, on top of that, defeats the otherworlder, nothing could be more auspicious... if it is a good match."
...It seemed Sugitani-san was interpreting this as Rio and I truly being in love.
"The will to protect the nation even at the cost of using one's lover as bait... that sense of duty has reached me, and therefore! I do not wish to see a devoted young man like you deceived by a bad woman!"
In this man's mind, I am a paragon of justice, attempting to smoke out Erin even at the risk of endangering the woman I love most.
It was absolutely not an atmosphere where I could tell the truth.
Oh crap, what do I do, oh crap, what do I do, oh crap, what do I do.
Repeating that phrase in my head, I contacted Rio on my smartphone.
I typed the shop name into an SNS app and gave a high-handed order: 'In front of the station. Look up the exact location on Google Maps. Come right now.'
'I'm going to karaoke with friends after this.'
'I don't give a damn about your convenience. Come.'
'I'll go.'
About thirty minutes later, Rio appeared, breathing heavily with her shoulders.
"...Sorry for the wait... ran quite a bit... tired..."
And without even a proper greeting, she sat down next to me. She crossed her legs and leaned back with an insolent attitude—the worst possible posture. To top it off, she glared at Sugitani-san with an expression that fully exposed her poor upbringing,
"Who's this old man?"
and proceeded to step on landmine after landmine.
"Are you a monkey or what!? What kind of upbringing did you have!?"
"Oww... that's mean... calling me a monkey..."
Hahaha, what a delightful young lady, Sugitani-san said with a stiff smile. His eyes were narrowed with a lonely look, and I could see disappointment and dismay in them.
I thought this must be the face of a father experiencing his daughter coming home in the morning for the first time.
Filled with an unbearable feeling, I introduced Sugitani-san to Rio.
"This person is something like my boss. His name is Sugitani-san. You greet him properly too."
"...Does a solo comedian have a boss? Like the president of his agency?"
"Something like that. Just bow your head."
"Hello. I'm Nakamoto-san's fiancée."
Rio bowed with a face that seemed to say, "Whatever." She was a girl who looked down on adults to the utmost degree.
"...Saito-san, may I have a word?"
Sugitani-san, without getting angry at such an utterly disrespectful and extreme attitude, spoke in a gentle voice.
"What?"
"You are in a serious relationship with Nakamoto-san, correct?"
"More or less."
"...What attracted you to Nakamoto-san?"
"That he scolds me strictly, I guess."
"Ho."
Sugitani-san looked surprised. That was only natural. Because this girl, who so clearly looked like a modern brat, had suddenly uttered such an old-fashioned phrase.
Of course, Rio was probably just following her own proclivities (masochism), but there was no way Sugitani-san knew those circumstances. At the very least, Rio only showed her masochistic preferences when she was alone with me, so it shouldn't be in the Public Security files... probably.
"As you know, Nakamoto-san is a celebrity. Moreover, he is supported by a female demographic, albeit an older one. Becoming engaged to such a man would likely invite unnecessary jealousy. What do you think about that?"
"It's exactly what I want. I think love without pain isn't true love."
"...I see. One can't tell from a first impression. You seem to hold remarkably old-fashioned values."
Sugitani-san showed a somewhat relieved expression. He surely thought of Rio as a rare, enduring woman in this day and age.
"Then, my final question. Nakamoto-san intends to use you as bait to lure out a certain dangerous individual. ...What do you think about being made to bear such a risk by your lover? Can you still love Nakamoto-san?"
Huh, is that so? Rio turned her gaze to me.
I answered in a low voice, "I was planning to explain later."
"Is that so... I'm bait... bait, huh..."
"What do you say? Have you lost respect for Nakamoto-san?"
"No. I'm happy."
"Happy?"
"Yeah. If I can be of use to Nakamoto-san, it's my dearest wish, and being put in danger for that—just imagining it sends shivers down my spine. Knowing you, Nakamoto-san, you're using me for the sake of ordinary citizens, right? Being sacrificed for people I don't care about is the best. Being used and thrown away for people who don't think anything of me. I like that way of living. I don't need any reward. Actually, it's better without one. It feels like I'm being treated more shabbily."
"...Well now... what a selfless young lady you are."
It seems I had misunderstood you, Sugitani-san said, bowing his head.
Actually, he was grandly misunderstanding things at this very moment, but since it was a convenient misconception for me, I left it alone.
"You two are kindred spirits. Nakamoto-san also appears to be an unsociable young man at first glance, but at his core, he has a burning sense of justice. Saito-san, you are also of the same kind..."
"I don't know if I have a sense of justice, but since I started watching PreCure, I might be learning about love and justice."
"PreCure?"
"It's good reference for coloring."
I used to make fun of that kind of thing, thinking it was for kids, but it's actually pretty interesting, Rio said.
"...You like coloring?"
There was no such information in the files, Sugitani-san said with a dubious look.
"At first I thought it was childish, but once you do it, it's fun. It kinda reminds me of when I was little. It's nostalgic, I guess. Back when I had my parents buy me these kinds of coloring books, my real father was still at home."
"...Did you start because you became nostalgic for the time when both your parents were together?"
"Not exactly."
"There's no need to be embarrassed. Even I feel nostalgic when I see toys my Oyaji bought me. ...I see. You were terribly lonely, weren't you."
"Well, maybe there was some loneliness."
"And that's when Nakamoto-san appeared. I see..."
Sugitani-san, having gotten everything wrong, was quietly moved by himself.
Why are there so many people around me who jump to conclusions so intensely?
"I understand completely. Let us celebrate your engagement, shall we?"
I bowed my head to Sugitani-san, who was wiping the corners of his eyes while wearing a smile overflowing with fatherhood.
"...Thank you very much."
"Oh, wonderful! Truly wonderful! I've been thinking for a while now that I wanted Nakamoto-san to settle down. A man takes more responsibility in his work when he has a family, and above all, you always seemed so lonely."
"Haha. That might be true..."
"Yes, wonderful. Truly auspicious. I am a man too. I will back you up with all my might so that your relationship is recognized by the world. I'll use every authority and conspiracy at my disposal to stir up society."
"Th-that's very reassuring."
What should I do?
Is there no turning back from this?
Is the outer moat going to be filled in so I absolutely can't escape?
Should I say right now, "Once Erin is dealt with, I'm breaking off the engagement"?
But looking at Sugitani-san, weeping manly tears and saying, "Please let me act as the formal go-between at the ceremony...", and Rio, with a nasal voice saying, "I'll be a good wife. I'll learn the housework too," is there a human being alive who could utter such a heartless line?
Even as I was sweating coldly and dawdling, the situation was progressing in an unstoppable direction.
Sugitani-san was calling his subordinates, trying to move a large sum of money, saying, "For starters, one. When I say one, I mean ten million. Arrange it." Rio was operating her smartphone, sending a brave message to her brother: 'Even if my last name changes, we're still siblings. Don't be lonely.'
...I might really end up having to take Rio as my wife...