Chapter 181 - Medical Angelica
Bathed in the morning sunlight, I turned on the living room TV.
I switched the channel to a news program and glanced at the numbers in the upper left corner of the screen.
42:80
Forty-two hours, eighty minutes. A time that should be impossible under normal circumstances.
Today, too, the world is steadily going mad.
Apparently, the predicted high temperature for Tokyo is 6000 degrees, with a 9000% chance of rain. That would make it a flooded sun.
On the screen, the weather lady has a puzzled look on her face.
'It's gone strange again, hasn't it.'
There was a hint of resignation in her phrasing.
It can't be helped.
After all, it's been like this for the past few days.
Four days ago—up until March 25th, it was displayed normally, but the next day it became the 92nd of the 36th month.
TVs, computers, smartphones, wristwatches. Every kind of digital device stopped displaying numbers correctly.
Today is correctly March 29th, and it's currently 6:11 AM, but only analog machines are indicating that properly.
Why did digital devices suddenly go haywire?
I have absolutely no idea why, but it's clear that people from the other world are involved this time too.
Because I, despite being a living, flesh-and-blood human, am the sole victim driven mad by this bizarre incident.
It's targeting me specifically.
I stand before the mirror and speak to myself.
"Status Open."
【Name】Keisuke Nakamoto
【Level】88
【Class】Dog
【HP】3
【MP】25555555555555
【Attack】12
【Defense】00761
【Agility】87212
【Magic Attack】0
【Magic Defense】0090
【Skill】Hero Keisuke Nakamoto
【Notes】sjanifegrf3ueijcandju
"...Man, this is awful."
No good after all, huh.
I heave a deep sigh and close the window.
It's been like this since four days ago.
The day the digital world was invaded by madness, even my Status appraisal bugged out.
No matter what I appraise, the correct contents aren't displayed.
My physical abilities and magical power are unchanged, so it seems the status fields have simply gone strange.
It's a petty harassment.
It doesn't actually weaken me physically, only weakens me on a numerical level. ...If anything, my MP is higher than my original. What are they trying to accomplish by doing this?
The fact that my Class designation has been casually changed from Hero to Dog pisses me off, so maybe it's aimed at psychological damage?
I head to the bedroom and approach Philia, who is sprawled face-down on the bed. She's in a languid negligee, and in a pose that emphasizes her nicely shaped butt, but this isn't the time to get strange ideas.
I bring my mouth close to Philia's ear and whisper softly.
"Hey, are you lucid right now?"
"...I am not lucid. Please let me sleep a little longer."
"You're lucid, aren't you. Hey, do you have any idea who might be messing with Status Appraisal like this?"
"I do not."
"...You don't know either."
"However, I understand the aim."
"What?"
"If they disrupt Hero-dono's Status Appraisal, they should be able to hide with ease."
"I already figured that out. That's not it. I want to know who exactly is doing it, and by what means."
"...I will sleep again."
"Playing dumb?"
"No. I truly do not know, so I have no way to answer. I am mortified as well. I am filled with the desire to stand above you and say, 'You don't even know that?' and the desire to outwit those little girls by giving Hero-dono precise advice. Please consider the feelings of me, who is utterly useless despite all that."
"All I can think is that this woman has a difficult personality. Is your head filled with nothing but dominance and lust?"
"It is not."
She declared it flatly. What an outrageous priestess she is.
"I am only interested in being thought amazing by Hero-dono, and being loved."
"...Oh, is that so."
Her rivalry and her romantic feelings, all the arrows point at me, this one. Though the shape of the arrows is covered in thorns, and the color is a pus-like purple.
...In a distorted form, she definitely likes me.
When I'm shown that side of her, I just can't be firm with her.
"Fine, just sleep."
I leave the bedroom and return to the living room.
Just then, Ayako-chan, putting on her apron, hurriedly dashes past me.
"...Good morning!"
I watch her back as she heads to the kitchen, the sound of her slippers pattering. A cream-colored sweater and a blue skirt cinched tightly at the waist. It's a stylish coordination for loungewear, but I can't see the bra line that should normally be clearly visible.
Apparently, she went straight to the kitchen braless.
There's a reason Ayako-chan is so flustered.
The number of housemates has increased, so preparing meals now takes more time.
She's practically in the state of a mother in a large family.
Unable to just watch, I try calling out, "Is there anything I can help with?"
But she just replies busily, "Nakamoto-san, please just finish getting ready yourself!"
Maybe it's better not to get in the way.
As she said, I'll take care of my own stuff. I head to the washroom to shave.
I have work today too, so I have to make myself presentable.
I thought filming would be canceled for a while due to the combination of the insane digital devices and the wrecked studio, but my workload hasn't decreased at all.
The people at Sumire TV apparently plan to thoroughly interview me and my female co-stars and make a documentary program about the time of the terror attack.
Really, they never let a setback go to waste.
This tenacity is on par with the undead. I grumble while rubbing the shaver against my skin.
As I'm doing that with a scritch-scratch sound, the toilet door swings open forcefully.
"Ah—! Don't shave before I get to touch your prickly skin!"
Apparently hearing the sound, Angelica had burst out.
Today's outfit is an extreme black tube top and hot pants that leave me not knowing where to look. The Japanese spring seems too hot for Angelica.
"...Morning, Ange."
"Jeez. I told you to call me before you shave."
Angelica basically loves all of my body hair, so she makes a disappointed face whenever I try to shave.
"I'll let you touch it before I finish shaving. Here."
With a "Wah," her face breaks into a smile, and Angelica starts rubbing her cheek against mine.
Precious skinship using the busy morning hours.
"...Mornin'. So tired."
Perhaps awakened by the commotion, Rio sluggishly walks over from the bedroom.
She's in her school-designated jersey, with zero feminine charm whatsoever. Her face and figure are good so it somehow works, but it's an appearance I wouldn't want others to see.
Rio enters the toilet as if swapping places with Angelica, and shuts the door with a slam.
"...Hey, Father."
"What?"
"How long are you going to keep Rio-san in the house?"
"Uh... well."
Angelica looks up at me with upturned eyes, asking my true intentions.
Certainly, I got engaged to Rio. I even brought her home. But that was to lure Erin, and once everything was over, I'd send her back to her family's house. That was the promise with Angelica and the others.
However, as you can see, Rio has completely settled into this house.
"...Unlike me or Ayako, that person should have a proper place to return to. She should be able to live at her family home."
"That's true, but..."
"Let's annul the engagement and have her go back home."
"I can't do that. It's too unlucky. I'm the Hero, you know?"
Because if I did that, it'd be the double combo of engagement annulment and banishment from the Hero's party.
It's a flag for Rio to become an avenger and cast me down into hell.
"There are various things... or rather, a jinx..."
"Jinx?"
Besides, when Rio sneaks into my bed, it reminds me of when I lived with Elsa; I've grown attached because she clings to me before sleep; last night I carelessly almost crossed the line but held back with reason, and ended up promising that if she'd just sleep now, I'd take a bath with her tomorrow—anyway, the worst reasons are piling up.
The fact that I'm rotating who I sleep with daily, and tonight is my day to sleep beside Ayako-chan, is also the worst.
Monday is Angelica's day, Tuesday is Rio's day, Wednesday is Ayako-chan's day.
It became this rule because they argued over who gets to sleep with me, and it feels like being a lord enjoying nightly pleasures with a different consort.
"...Can't we keep Rio just a little longer?"
"...Why?"
"She seems starved for a father figure too, just for the spring break. Okay?"
"...No."
"You're unusually disobedient today."
"Because Father, you're absolutely superimposing Elsa-san onto Rio-san, aren't you."
"...It can't be helped."
"I don't want Father taken from me. At this rate, Father will fall hard for Rio-san."
"Listen to what I'm—"
"I'm disappointed in you. Swapping out girls day after day. ...I hate you, Father. I hate you so much."
"Ange!"
"Father, you idiot!"
Wait, I said! Shaking off my shout, Angelica runs into my bedroom.
Since Philia is sleeping in the girls' shared bedroom, that's the only room where she can be alone.
"...Are you alright?"
Ladle in one hand, Ayako-chan comes to check on the situation with a worried face.
Rio also opens the toilet door and looks at me with an expression that says, "Don't tell me it's my fault?"
"...I think you should go after Angelica-san."
I know.
I nod deeply to Ayako-chan and start walking toward the bedroom.
Ever since we defeated Erin, it's been like this.
I was already at my limit.
On top of having killed someone, which I don't even like, I'm taking care of Rio, living expenses have increased, and work is giving me headaches.
My stress had long since reached its limit, and it wouldn't be strange if I developed a stomach ulcer at any moment.
"Ange, I'm coming in."
Even though it's my own room, I knock, quietly open the door, and slip inside.
I softly lock the door behind me to prevent interruptions.
"...Ange."
On the bed, Angelica is lying on her back.
She raises only her upper body and looks at me silently.
"...Father."
Yeah.
I know.
I bend down, lower my posture, and take a pose like a crouching start.
And then, using all the springs in my body—
"Come here, my big baby!"
"Babuu!"
With all my might, I dive into Angelica's chest.
"There, there. You did very well, Father. You performed skillfully again today."
"Mama... Mama Ange..."
My stress had already exceeded the critical point.
I needed healing right now.
So for the past few days, every morning before work, we act out a lovers' quarrel, pretend to argue alone, shut ourselves in a private room, and she comforts me.
Clinging to Angelica and fussing like a one-year-old is my new daily routine.
There's no adult pride anywhere.
"Ange... I'm at my limit. I don't wanna fight... I don't wanna go to work..."
"There, there. It's alright now. I'm always on Father's side. No matter how many times I'm reborn, I'll become Father's mama and give birth to you anew. My ovaries and womb are reserved exclusively for Father."
In front of the other housemates, she acts standoffish, but when we're alone, she spoils me like soothing a newborn baby.
Not tsundere, but umundere. (T/N: pun on "tsundere" — "umu" means "to give birth," so "one who is cold outwardly but dotes like a mother who just gave birth in private.")
"Mama Ange... A sixteen-year-old mama... A younger mama..."
I bury my face in Angelica's ample chest and savor the scent and sensation.
A sweet, just-woken-up fragrance with just a hint of night sweat.
With so much skin exposed, it directly stimulates my nostrils.
Maybe the reason Angelica has been dressing so scantily lately is because she realized her maternity leaks from her cleavage.
Perhaps she sensed that I gain immense therapeutic effects by sticking my nose into Angelica's cleavage and sniffing.
"Mama... In my next life, I'll be a proper premature baby. I'll come out small so it's easier for Mama Ange to give birth."
"Father is so admirable. Thinking about filial piety to your mother from the moment you're born. I'm a happy daughter-mama to have such a cool and kind papa-son."
Mama Ange gently strokes my head while emitting brainwaves from her mouth.
"Hey, Father."
"What is it, Mama."
"...Do you want to drink milk?"
It won't come out.
The adult part of me objected, but the child part was eagerly going, "Really?"
"...I'm embarrassed too... but lately Father seems to be worrying about a lot of things... and if Father is okay with it, I thought I'd nurse you while comforting your sensitive spots..."
Angelica glances at my lower body and breathes out feverishly, "...The waiting child in your crotch, I'll take care of it with my hands."
"I don't need a mental age. I'll live the rest of my life as a zero-year-old."
"Fufu. Father, you've become such a spoiled baby."
But that's what's cute and lovable about you. Whispering in a tone full of maternity, Angelica puts her hands on her tube top.
She loosens her chest area, a motion fully intent on performing the act of nursing me.
I open my mouth and prepare to take in Angelica's affection.
—At that moment, the sound of a loud knock on the door echoed.
"Hey, Nakamoto-san. Angelica. Is it my fault you two are fighting?"
Angelica and I exchange glances and freeze stiff.
I somehow manage to switch my consciousness to adult mode and reply in a dignified voice.
"What's between me and Angelica has nothing to do with you! Just hurry up and finish changing! You're filming with me, right!? You shouldn't have time to laze around!"
"...Yeah, but... I can't help but wonder! If I'm the reason things got tense, I'd feel bad. If I'm disturbing the atmosphere of this house that much, I'll leave, you know?"
Angelica also changes her voice back from Mama to a girl her age and speaks to the other side of the door.
"I-I'm fine! I've already made up with Father!"
"...Really? You're not just being considerate of me?"
"Not at all! I'm not angry at Rio-san herself, I was just punishing Father for being indiscriminately flirty with girls!"
"Punishment? Nice... what did you do?"
Angelica shouts while stroking my head.
"I did something that damages his adult pride!"
"Huh... not bad. Maybe you've got a sadistic streak? Well, I'm not really interested in S or M or that stuff. I'm super normal. But I kinda want to hear the details later."
"Eh, you're biting on this topic...?"
Since Angelica started to falter, I step in to follow up.
I raise my loudest voice of the day and scold Rio.
"You, get back to the living room! Don't butt in when we're talking privately!"
"Eh... but..."
"Can't you do what I say!? Who do you think is feeding you!? Stop blabbering nonsense first thing in the morning and go help with the meal prep!"
【Rio Saito's Affection Level has increased by 200】
【Rio Saito's Sexual Arousal has reached 70%】
"Ahh, that's good... That Showa-era patriarchal master-of-the-house talk really hits the spot... Nakamoto-san really gets it..."
I hear Rio walking toward the kitchen, bumping and banging against the wall.
Angelica and I immediately return the atmosphere to normal and go back to our mama and baby relationship.
"Mama Ange... Even if the number of female middle and high school co-stars suddenly increases, it's hard to handle them... I can't match their faces to their names... I feel like I've become a homeroom teacher at an all-girls school..."
"It's alright, Father has his Mama with him."
And then.
Just as I thought I heard footsteps stomping back this way, Rio spoke up again.
"Sorry, Nakamoto-san! Do you know where my script is!?"
"You lost something again!? How sloppy can you be! ...I saw it under the table yesterday!"
"Really!? Thanks!"
Once again, I switch my tone back to baby mode and cling to Angelica.
"Mama... I don't get tax calculations and stuff... When your income suddenly increases, it's troublesome in its own way..."
"Poor Father. Mama will spoil you with her breasts right away."
"—Hey, Nakamoto-san!? Do you know where my smartphone is!?"
"You came back again, Mama Rio!? There's no way baby me would know! It's probably fallen behind your placenta or somewhere, isn't it!?"
"What do you mean, Mama Rio!?"
Crap.
My baby character for Angelica and my domineering oyaji character for Rio got mixed up.
...Because I'm forced to switch in a short period, I got confused...
Dammit... there's no way I can recover from this...!?
Looking, Angelica also has a face on the verge of fainting, but I try to push through.
"You misheard that! It's nothing! I think I saw it near the washroom!"
"Thanks!"
While spending such a noisy time, breakfast time was approaching.
The hands of the analog clock hanging on the wall point exactly to seven o'clock.