Chapter 216 - Caught Red-Handed
Because I have been hospitalized for the past few days, I am sorry that updates have been delayed even though it is right after the book's publication.
There is an announcement in the afterword.
9:30 AM.
Walking side-by-side with Erin, I was heading toward the station in a steady trot.
Having escaped the family meeting that had devolved into a mere catfight, the two of us decided to go meet Sugitani-san.
By the way, I currently have Erin in the form of a cat.
In a sense, it is a more perfect disguise than using the Concealment skill.
"Sugitani-san will probably be surprised if I bring a cat along."
"Meow."
"Make sure to show off your transformation abilities. The person we're meeting is someone like my boss, after all."
"Myaaa."
When I peered down to look at her, Erin let out a meow as if to say, "Leave it to me."
I felt as though her cat-walk had become somewhat more supple.
She seems to have the motivation, so as I thought, choosing her was the right decision.
Since she can freely switch between human and animal forms, she is the perfect talent for infiltration missions.
While sneaking in as an invisible man using Concealment Magic isn't bad, the feat of inducing carelessness by appearing as a small animal is something only Erin can do.
Even the passersby are already completely off their guard.
Perhaps thanks to the sight of me taking a stroll with a Black Cat, the gazes of the people passing us by have been strangely warm for a while now.
An unknown old lady spoke to me, saying, "Oh, what a cute kitty," and a high school girl I met for the first time gave me a smile, saying, "Is this little one okay without a leash? What a smart child—"
It seems that humans who are liked by animals appear to be good people just by that alone.
If it has such a dramatic effect, I feel like I should have gotten a pet much sooner.
Back when I had just returned from the other world, I was constantly being questioned by the police.
I had actually been worried about whether my facial features were that bad, but according to Rio, "It's because people with a build like Nakamoto-san but dead eyes look like unemployed manual laborers."
I see.
Certainly, back then, I might have looked like a "dispatched worker who was kicked out of a construction site, and if I don't commit a burglary or a robbery, I won't survive the winter" type of person.
Thanks to that, twice a week I was asked my age and occupation, and every time I suffered the sad fate of answering, "I'm a thirty-two-year-old part-timer..." only to be pitied by the officers.
If I had owned a dog or a cat back then, would the officers have just let me pass as a mere animal lover?
"It was a tragedy that could have been prevented with a cat..."
Muttering to myself like something from the NRA, I watched a patrol car pass by out of the corner of my eye.
Speak of the devil, a police vehicle actually passed right by us.
...It's okay, right?
I hear the sound of a car stopping right in front of me and the doors being flung open with a loud bang-bang!, but that's not them trying to investigate me, is it?
Since I'm demonstrating that I'm being embraced by a cute Black Cat, I shouldn't look like a pervert, right...?
As I was breaking out in a slow sweat, two female officers approached me with businesslike smiles.
"Excuse me, do you have a moment?"
A police questioning?
Damn it, why of all times, at a time like this...!?
An unpleasant sweat ran down my spine.
It's no damage if they ask about my job, but if they do a search of my belongings, I'm in trouble.
Because my pockets are currently stuffed full of "XX Tap Tickets" made by my father-complex daughters.
Initially, it was only a dispute between Angelica and Chloe, but Rio and Ayako-chan joined in, and they began competing to make increasingly abnormal tickets.
Rio handed me a Butt Tap Ticket saying, "You can tap my butt anytime," and Ayako-chan went as far as saying, "I will give you my everything," while handing me a Human Rights Tap Ticket; frankly speaking, it's not a joke.
The fact that it's immediately obvious they were handmade by young girls only intensifies the scent of crime, and because Angelica and Chloe started using the characters from the other world that they've become accustomed to writing halfway through, there's even an air of international crime drifting about.
I didn't want to carry such dangerous items myself, but they were shoved into my pockets right before I left the house so there's nothing I can do, and on the other hand, I feel hesitant to just throw away items written in girls' handwriting on the street.
And so, I find myself driven into a social predicament like this.
"I'm supposed to meet someone soon, so could you make this quick...?"
I try to put on a polite smile, attempting not to let my agitation show.
On the other hand, while the female officers also have social smiles on their lips, their eyes aren't smiling at all. Though, all police officers have that kind of expression.
"Recently, there have been pranks in this area where crater-like footprints are being made in the asphalt. You might know about it since it's been in the news."
Officer, I did it.
When I stepped down during a battle with a demi-human, the road dented deeply with a merya.
But since I can see that confessing honestly will only lead to more trouble, I try to play dumb, saying things like, "It's a dangerous world, isn't it?"
"Excuse me, but may I ask your shoe size?"
"...It's 26.5."
"I see. The footprints left in the craters were also just about that size. No, I'm sure it's just a coincidence, though."
"That's right, it's just a coincidence. There are plenty of men in the world with a shoe size of 26.5."
"May I take a look inside your pockets?"
"Eh?"
My movements stop.
What did this lady officer just say?
"...As I said, may I see inside your pockets? For the sake of the safety of citizens' lives, we would like your cooperation."
"No... that's, well..."
"Is there something you'd be troubled if we saw? Like medicine or syringes?"
"I feel like I'm about to leak poop, so can I go to the toilet?"
While I was telling a clumsy lie, the other female officer took it upon herself to thrust her fingers into my pocket.
Since a relatively cute lady is rummaging through my pockets, it would normally be a somewhat happy situation, but right now I am purely terrified of tomorrow morning's newspaper. I don't want to become Suspect Nakamoto. I don't want to become a courtroom sketch.
"Senior, something like this came out."
In the female officer's hand was an Angelica-made 'Uterus XX Tap Ticket'.
Other items like 'Breast Tap Ticket', 'Butt Tap Ticket', and 'XXXXX Tap Ticket' were being steadily exposed to the light of day.
"...They all look like they were handwritten by girls."
They confirm, "These are undoubtedly yours, right?"
"—Yes. I did it."
9:34 AM.
I was arrested.
On February 25th, Volume 2 was released by Overlap Bunko!
Also, a comic adaptation project is currently in progress. Details will be announced at a later date.