Chapter 59 - Totally Fed Up
She was a complete and utter mess, a sight so disgraceful she could only be described as a female in heat.And she was still just a high school kid, a brat.
As a responsible, working adult, I had a duty to guide her onto the right path.
"Yeah, you're right. Now that we're alone, I should say something."
Enduring an itchy, awkward feeling, I tried to put on a dignified voice.
"If you keep acting like some kind of slut, you'll never grow up to be a decent person, you know."
"That's fine by me. My mom and my grandma both had kids in their teens. Maybe it's genetic?"
Rio was laughing.It was a smile tinged with self-mockery, like she'd thrown caution to the wind.
"Back in elementary school, I was proud my mom was younger than everyone else's. When I got to middle school, I understood what that meant and hated it all at once. Thought it was filthy. But now, I guess I'm neutral. I think it's a stupid way to live, but I get the feeling behind it now."
"...What did you get?"
"Hm? That getting pregnant and quitting school might not be so bad."
Rio's toes were resting on my knee.
"Studying's boring, and my classmates are all idiots. A shotgun wedding with you, Nakamoto-san, sounds way more fun."
"Are you trying to make me a criminal? Think about your own age."
"I'm sixteen. Is there a problem? I'm pretty sure you can get married with parental consent. My mom got registered with her first boyfriend when she was around my age, so I think she'd give permission easily. Like, 'Oh, Rio too, huh?' Besides, my mom's a total fangirl. She loves anyone who's a celebrity. So if I introduced you, Nakamoto-san, as my fiancé, she'd be over the moon."
Rio began tracing my calf with the tip of her foot, lightly, teasingly.It felt like being a soft-serve ice cream cone, licked away by a tongue. A sweet, tingling chill ran up my spine.This was really getting out of hand. It had crossed the line.
"Cut it out."
The moment I said that, in a somewhat rough voice,the music playing in the shop switched from pop by a Japanese singer to a Western track with female vocals.
This is bad, I braced myself.I tried to cover my ears on reflex, but it was too late.My Language Comprehension skill activated, and the loosely translated lyrics flooded my head.
'No way, no way, I'm losin' my mind, this is seriously bad, man. The comedy duo of love is goin' kaboom in my head.'
"Nakamoto-san, are you laughing?" Rio asked, looking puzzled.
"What, so you are happy after all. You're grinning. It's okay, I'll touch you more."
My "Language Comprehension" has a slightly peculiar property.Anything other than the common tongue of the other world gets translated as a dialect or slang.English, in a way that's rare these days, gets rendered into thick, heavy Osaka dialect.
'Ah, no way, no way. Your Tsutenkaku's makin' me crazy. This is impossible for a Tokyoite, ain't it?'
This is actually the reason I gave up on being an interpreter.I can't help but laugh, I can't produce the expected translation at all, and I'm tempted to say it's practically a handicap.
"...You seem like you're having fun. I'm getting kind of excited too. It makes me happy when the other person enjoys it."
"No...! That's not it...! I'm not laughing because you're touching me...!"
"You don't have to be shy."
If I cover my ears, I can't hold a conversation with Rio.But if I leave my eardrums free like this, the hilarious lyrics will have my abs in stitches.As I agonized over this utterly stupid dilemma, Rio squirmed her way under the table.
"...Huh?"
A teenage girl crouched at my feet, reaching out with her pale hands. This was an unspeakably dangerous act.
"...Hey. Do you understand what you're doing right now?"
"I'm trying to unzip your fly. I understand perfectly."
I pressed my hand against Rio's forehead, trying to push her face away.And since this was no laughing matter, I used Concealment Magic to make her invisible.
"Don't mess around. As I recall, no matter what, you weren't this shameless of a girl."
"I never had any common sense to begin with. I grew up in a house that was like a cesspool, so isn't that obvious?"
"Then is your older brother shit too? Cool your head off for once!"
I pushed Rio's head back firmly, keeping her from getting any closer.Thanks to the debuff, my strength was just right, so there was no risk of breaking her neck.
"You're weirder today than usual, aren't you? You're coming on to me in a pretty reckless way."
"I'm acting normal."
"No, you're weird. The selfie you sent this morning had the same underwear as yesterday's. You, who cares about your appearance, wearing the same thing two days in a row isn't normal. It reflects your mental state. What on earth happened?"
"You figured it out from that... You're amazing, Nakamoto-san. You're practically a high school girl underwear sommelier."
Smiling faintly, Rio let out a voice that sounded resigned. For some reason, she looked hurt.I, on the other hand, had just earned the title of the lowest scum of the earth and was filled with regret for my life. My glass heart was shattered.I watched powerlessly as Rio dejectedly retreated to her own seat.
Why did I feel like we'd just been through a fierce battle?We both sighed, a mutual "haah."Rio slumped over the table, striking a pose like she was dozing off in class.
"Are you creeped out?"
"Quite a bit. But more than that, I got worried."
Rio spoke to me with her face still buried. Her voice was tearful.The bizarrely funny lyrics were still echoing through the shop, but I was starting to tune them out.
"Did something bad happen?"
Her reply was Silence.
"I was like that myself not too long ago, so I get it. You're at your wit's end, right? You feel like you don't matter at all. I can tell."
"...Nn."
A listless, hollow sound came back. It was just her vocal cords vibrating, a sound that didn't quite form a voice.
"...I'm totally fed up with school."
"But you're only a first-year."
"I want to quit."
"Are you being bullied or something?"
"...It's not that bad."
Being a student is a pain. I want to get married and be a housewife, Rio murmured in a weak voice.
"Nakamoto-san, take me. I'll do the housework properly, you know?"
"I've already got that covered."
"Oh, right. You're homestaying that foreign kid."
Have you done it with her yet? she asked, another outrageous question.I was truly glad I'd cast Concealment.Right now, Rio was invisible to everyone around us, and her voice couldn't be heard.
"I haven't. I'm her guardian."
"Hmm. She's pretty cute, though. Maybe she's not your type? Or is it that you can't go for anyone who isn't Japanese?"
"Appearance and race have nothing to do with it. Age is the issue. How could I lay a hand on a minor?"
"...That's nice."
"What is?"
"It's a contradiction, but I want to be held by a man who says he doesn't want to hold me."
"What the hell is that?"
Rio raised her face. Her eyes were completely bloodshot.It looked like she'd been crying a little.
"A guy who seriously rejects me, saying 'You're still a kid, there's no way I'd see you that way,' is the most attractive. He's being a proper father figure, right? He doesn't look at me with lecherous eyes. My ideal is for someone like that to fall for me and end up kissing and touching me."
"That's incredibly selfish, you know?"
"Is it...? ...Maybe it is. ...I don't care anymore."
Rio stretched out her arm and tapped lightly at my fingertips.This movement wasn't that of a seductive woman, but more like a little girl playfully messing with her father.
"Don't you just want to be spoiled?"
"...I don't know."
It seemed Rio was extremely vulnerable right now.The rush of "I want to see you" messages on social media had been getting intense lately too. She might have been cornered without me knowing.
"You have something troubling you, right? I'll listen, if you're okay with me."
Crap, isn't that the classic line for sweet-talking a depressed woman? I thought, but it was too late.Rio's eyes sparkled, and the system message announcing Affection Level has increased by 1200 told me it was already too late.
"A while ago, a guy confessed to me."
"Isn't that a good thing?"
"He's the most popular, good-looking guy in the soccer club."
"That sounds even better."
"But he's a player, and he's not an older guy. I'm not interested. I turned him down."
Rio grasped my fingers and played with them idly.
"And then all the girls in my class turned against me, and here we are."
"...What a pain."
"Right? Somehow the rumors got exaggerated, and now the story is that I was making eyes at him, but then I found another guy I liked and dumped him."
"Are you being bullied?"
"Do I look like that kind of target? I'm on the bigger side for a girl, and my brother is, well, you know. No one has the guts to do anything to me directly."
But still, Rio averted her gaze.
"Nobody talks to me anymore. They don't harm me, but I feel like I'm treated as if I don't exist. How do you think I spend my breaks these days? I hole up in the library. It's a riot. The real bullied kids and the otaku-ish ones around are too scared to come near me."
"You ARE being bullied."
"...Is that it..."
"It is. Being ignored is a perfectly valid form of attack."
"I see."
Falling down the school caste happens in the blink of an eye, Rio muttered.
"If you think I'm pitiful, take me as your wife. I'll quit school right away then."
"It doesn't work like that."
"Why not? If I put my mind to it, I can cook. I'm young. And I'm a virgin, you know? People say I'm a delinquent, but I've never even dyed my hair. Men like that kind of thing, right?"
"I've already got that covered, you know."
"...What's that supposed to mean? Don't tell me you're already keeping a virgin high school girl with black hair who cooks for you at home?"
"N-n-n-no, of course not."
"Right. There's no way you'd do something like that, Nakamoto-san, like some kind of charismatic sex criminal. You're not Gondo."
What to do, I wondered, folding my arms and looking up.The shop's ceiling was high, lined with tasteful lighting.
No matter how strong I am, it's nearly impossible to intervene in the interpersonal relationships of high schoolers, especially among girls.I desperately want to help, but there's nothing I can do.
"...Maybe if I had sex with you, Nakamoto-san, I'd cheer up."
I desperately want to, but...
Just in case. The lyrics appearing in the story are something the author made up on the spot. They aren't parody lyrics either.