Chapter 71 - Landmine Girl Rio
"I thought I heard something dangerous, or was I just mishearing things?"
Rio turned her well-shaped buttocks toward me and replied with an "Hmm—?"
"Nakamoto-san, you're the only adult male in this house right now, right? Which means you're the guardian. You're basically like a temporary father. In that case, I have to scrub your back, don't I?"
"It's not 'don't I.' I'm thirty-two, and you're sixteen. That's a crime."
"......?"
Rio turned off the faucet and spun around.
She tilted her beautiful face to the side, looking intensely perplexed.
"Isn't a father who refuses to let his daughter wash her body the one committing a crime...? Isn't that neglect...?"
She covered her mouth, muttering something like, "No way..." and "You're kidding..."
"Eh, so Nakamoto-san, you don't take baths with Angelica-chan either?"
"Of course not."
"You're having her stay here on a home stay, right!? Do you really intend to look after her like that!?"
"I haven't done anything wrong, have I!?"
Rio looked at me with eyes like she was staring at a violent father.
"I don't get it... So that girl hasn't bathed with a father figure even once since she came to Japan? Isn't that bad? She's going to get sick soon at this rate. You should give her some service once in a while."
"...You haven't been scrubbing the bodies of your previous foster fathers, have you?"
"As if. Any decent foster father who I'd actually want to wash would adamantly refuse to bathe with me."
"I see, that's right. You liked old guys who didn't view you as a sexual object, didn't you?"
Men who are close to Rio don't want to bathe with her, and men who want to bathe with her are rejected—and likely sent flying by King Leo.
It is a terrible paradox.
She isn't just some landmine girl.
"The last time I bathed with a father figure was when I was seven. The person was my biological father. I only scrubbed his back, and he didn't seem interested in me at all. Even so, I'm barely surviving by using that memory as my support..."
Rio was speaking with a serious gaze.
"It's been nearly ten years since then, so I think the effect is about to wear off. In other words, I'm a respectable patient myself."
"Is this a vaccination or something?"
"Think of it as helping someone, and come in with me?"
"Won't you?" Rio pressed, clasping her hands together. It was a gesture like she was praying.
Of course, my answer was already decided.
"Impossible. Absolutely impossible."
"...It's not like we're doing anything weird, so isn't it fine? We'll just call you 'Papa' while washing your body, and then just soak in the tub while hugging?"
"If you don't count that as weird, then what on earth would have to happen for something to be considered weird? Eating people?"
What was scary was that the current Rio showed neither a blush nor any agitation.
She was speaking with the energy of: It's a normal thing, so why is this person refusing?
Conversations with creatures whose fundamental sense of ethics are completely different are incredibly energy-consuming.
I remember feeling exactly this way when a female troll asked me curiously, "If there is no bread, why not just eat each other?"
While feeling immense fatigue, I rejected Rio's plea.
It was the natural behavior of a decent adult.
"If you keep pestering me like this, I'm not taking a bath today."
I issued a sort of threat: I'll just stay in here stinking.
[Rio Saito's Affection Level increased by 100]
"Hey."
"...Something about that phrasing... it felt like a super sadistic 'Ore-sama' type... and using unhygienic behavior to your advantage is just so perfectly vulgar..."
She truly is an irredeemable girl.
If I reject her, she rejoices; if I scold her, she gets aroused.
So, what would be the correct way to handle this?
It must be to do something Rio hates.
I'm sick of myself, but I have no other choice if I want to avoid mixed bathing.
"...Rio-sama."
"...Eh?"
"Looking at your spirited eyes, I find myself wanting to be stepped on."
"Wait, ...stop it. What's with you all of a sudden?"
I took a prostrate position and took Rio's feet in my hands.
"Rio-sama is my Queen."
"...Hey... that's not funny. I'm worst at being served by older men."
"I am Rio-sama's dog. A pitiful mongrel of a pet. A servant from a miserable lineage where, if you go back any number of generations, it's nothing but stray dogs. Please, command me to do whatever you wish...!"
"I said stop!"
"This is unbelievable!" Rio's voice was turning tearful.
"Ah, that's right, it was the bath. Then, let me immediately begin scrubbing your back."
"Stop using polite speech! I can't stand it physiologically!?"
"My, Rio-sama has beautiful hair again today."
"Ah, that actually makes me happy."
She's such a pain.
She likes being insulted and treated poorly, but it seems she's the type who wants to be complimented normally regarding her appearance.
Well, if that's the case, there's a way to handle it.
I just have to avoid praising her looks and instead worship Rio like a god.
I'm good at this kind of thing.
During my time as a Hero, I had a track record of bowing my head and flattering people many times to draw budget from the Kingdom.
I spent my teens begging the King—who only provided cypress sticks despite us being at war with demi-humans—to at least provide us with copper swords.
I began to line Rio with flattery, acting like a complete slave.
After continuing this for a few minutes, Rio burst into tears, saying, "This isn't Nakamoto-san," and eventually ran out of the bathroom.
"She's a handful."
Good grief, this is why adolescence is like this.
I hurriedly undressed and entered the bathroom.
I closed the door and dumped bath salts into the tub.
After finishing washing my hair and body, I slowly put my feet into the bathwater.
Exhaling, I crouched down.
It had been a while since I took a bath in the middle of the day, but it didn't feel bad.
I've been busy lately, so something like this is fine once in a while.
Though it's a meaningless act.
I can't help but wonder what the point of purifying myself is when I'll just be killing goblins again after this.
I wonder if my senses are becoming numb, thinking that this kind of thing should be done after all the day's combat is finished.
Most likely, that is the case.
Come to think of it, I also had a nervous side during my boyhood.
I hated anything filthy or macabre, and the smell of blood or entrails was absolutely out of the question.
Thanks to that, every time I defeated a monster, I felt like I was being crushed by guilt and disgust.
The closer the opponent was to a human shape, the more I suffered; in battles with demi-humans, I fought while suppressing nausea.
Back then, no matter how much I washed my hands after combat, it felt as if an invisible sliminess was clinging to my fingertips.
Perhaps, it is still clinging to me now.
And not just to my hands, but my whole body.
It's easy to call this sliminess "habituation" or "the aura of a warrior," but in my opinion, it is the "degradation of humanity."
If you become able to kill or torture for interrogation without a second thought, you are finished as a human being.
"I don't want to kill them, though."
But the small goblins are targeting this house.
I must fight again. If it's to extract information, I cannot afford to be selective with my methods.
Even though it feels comfortable being led by a woman, as long as I am the elder, I have to look after Angelica and Rio.
I have to, I have to, I have to.
The life of a Hero is full of obligations.
"Let's do this."
With a loud splash, I stood up.
I opened the door slightly, grabbed a bath towel, wiped my body, and wrapped it around my waist.
Was I supposed to put back the underwear I took off?
Remembering Rio's words, I stepped back into the discarded trunks.
So, what am I supposed to do after this?
"Rio! Rio! Bring me some change!"
There was no answer.
Has she finally lost all respect for me?
"Rio!"
I could hear a faint muttering from the other side of the hallway.
"...Nakamoto-san wouldn't ask me to bring it."
It seems she is nearby.
Is her refusal to show her face her own way of protesting?
"...The Nakamoto-san I know doesn't use phrasing that sounds like he's begging."
"Fine, I get it. ...What a pain."
I took a deep breath and shouted roughly,
"I don't need a brat who can't even prepare a change of clothes!"
My heart ached, thinking about what a beastly line I had just spat out.
But Rio came rushing out with a magnificent smile, holding a brand-new tracksuit in her hands.
It was the expression of a new bride handing clothes to her husband.
While falling into the strange sensation of remembering my life with Elsa, I took them with both hands.
"..."
"..."
For a moment, we stared at each other in silence.
Is she planning to watch me change?
As I was feeling fed up, thinking She really is a father-complex daughter..., Rio's eyes suddenly turned serious.
"While you were in the bath, Nakamoto-san, I heard something from that foreign girl."
"What?" I replied while putting on the tracksuit.