Chapter 87 - A Child
"I have something important to tell you," Elsa said.
Her eyes were moist, her face looking as if she were about to burst into tears at any moment.
Somehow, I understood.
"It didn't work, did it?"
"...Yeah. It came normally this month, too."
"I'm sorry," Elsa said, lowering her gaze.
Why does she blame herself?
Even though the cause might lie with me.
"Don't worry about it. Things like this are a gift from above."
I am the Hero, and Elsa is a slave. The difference in our social status was too great, and an official marriage was not permitted.
Because of that, we settled into a common-law marriage, but our actions were no different from any typical couple.
We wished for a child, the fruit of our mutual love.
The intimacy between a man and a woman happened quite normally.
However, we were not blessed with a child for a long time.
"It's fine. As long as I have you, Elsa, I'm happy enough. Besides..."
"Besides?"
I find myself thinking.
Perhaps Earthlings and people of this different world are entirely different beings biologically, even if they look similar.
If that were the case, then conceiving a child between the two of us was impossible from the very start.
In fact, I was beginning to think that this was the most likely explanation.
According to the High Priest, Earthlings are people who do not possess souls.
A world of cold reason, governed only by physical laws, without magic or an afterlife.
That is Earth.
A soul does not dwell within creatures born there.
Surely, we Earthlings merely mistake the patterns of electrical signals running through our nerve cells for a soul.
But in this different world, the afterlife and magic both exist, and when night falls, will-o'-the-wisps fly about energetically.
It could be said that dead humans wandering about as spiritual bodies is a common occurrence.
Creatures born here properly possess souls.
I have no soul, and Elsa has a soul.
Wouldn't it be more difficult to consider us the same kind of living being?
"It's not that one of us is at fault."
If I had to say, perhaps it was the fact that two people who were never meant to meet ended up joined together.
That might be what was wrong.
Telling myself this, I had halfway given up on having a child with Elsa.
But I would later learn that I was mistaken.
Because several years later, Elsa would conceive my child, only to lose her life in the worst possible way.
＊ ＊ ＊
I was lying on a hotel bed with Philia.
That said, we weren't doing anything lewd.
We were simply interacting as parent and child, spending time doing things like absentmindedly watching television.
Since Philia's inner self is equivalent to a six-year-old, she has a weakness for children's anime programs.
Especially works featuring talking animals; she watches them with eyes sparkling with excitement.
"Pi, Picka. Pickappy!"
Even now, she is like that. She is glued to the screen in total absorption.
The sight of an adult woman imitating the cries of an anime character is nothing but purely sad.
Feelings like "ridiculous" or "funny" do not arise in me at all.
The abnormality is apparent at a glance, making me realize that the Philia I knew is no longer here.
I am reminded of the image of shards of a shattered psyche piercing my chest.
Perhaps that is why it is so painful.
I softly hugged Philia from behind and stroked her head.
"Nngh—!"
The former High Priest, resisting by squirming and fussing.
There is no way a life like this can last long.
The financial burden is heavy, and once work begins, it will become difficult to show my face here.
On the other hand, I don't think I could take her home and have her get along well with Angelica or Ayako-chan.
Her heart is that of a young girl, yet her body is that of an adult woman, her history is that of a villain herself, and her primary victim was Angelica.
How on earth am I supposed to continue taking care of a woman this hopeless?
"Nooo! Philia wants to draw—!"
"...Ah, sorry."
I let go of the squirming Philia and set her free.
Right now, her great favorite thing is to copy her favorite characters while watching anime.
She moves the colored pencils I bought for her back and forth, scribbling crude drawings with a touch that can only be described as that of a toddler.
That is the current Philia.
Yesterday, she even drew a portrait of me and gave it to me.
Next to a face where it wasn't even clear which part was the eye or the nose, a message was written in clumsy handwriting: Father, please cheer up.
Should I be happy, or should I be sad?
I didn't even know that.
I covered my face with both hands and reflected on what had been lost.
I will never see Philia's elegant calligraphy again. But that also means she has lost even the wisdom to commit evil deeds.
...This is the correct answer.
No matter what kind of person they are, it is better to let them live than to kill them.
There might be some use for her, and I'm sure neither Elsa nor Angelica would have thought well of me killing a human being.
That's right. It must be so.
I am not wrong.
It's okay.
As I was telling myself this in my head, I felt a sensation of my sleeve being tugged repeatedly.
It was Philia.
"Father!"
Since she called out with a voice full of intensity, I reflexively looked up.
"That's bad. It's scary."
Philia was pointing at the television, her eyes looking frightened.
"...What the hell is this?"