Chapter 27 - 3-4
The day after his older brother returned, Geraha had another visitor.
It was Sinkuk, Geraha's cousin and one of the generals of the Kutai tribe.
Like Tenge, he had arrived casually and alone on horseback, glaring at Geraha with cold eyes. Geraha had not spoken with this cousin very often. He was frequently ignored. The words they had exchanged up until now amounted to two or three sentences at most. However, Geraha did not dislike this cousin.
Perhaps because he had been bullied as a child, Geraha often read the expressions of others. He could feel the contempt, fear, irritation, and disgust directed at him as if he felt them on his skin. Even for Geraha, he had never read anything from Sinkuk's eyes. Sinkuk was simply vacant. He held no interest in Geraha. He felt neither affection nor contempt.
Sinkuk was that way toward everyone. It wasn't that he ignored Geraha because he was ugly. He was equally cold to everyone. When Geraha thought of it as being treated the same as everyone else, he felt at ease.
It was rare for that cousin to hurl a gaze laden with clear condemnation. Geraha was flustered.
"Follow me. We have things to discuss."
Sinkuk turned his horse's head. As if released from a paralysis, Geraha ran to his own horse.
They must have ridden for half a ri. While keeping his robust back turned toward Geraha, Sinkuk pulled the reins. He did not show Geraha his face.
"You, it seems you intend to follow Tenge."
"Follow, you say?" Geraha was on guard.
"What you and Tenge spoke of yesterday. I heard it from Tenge. He praised you quite a bit, boasting about you. Almost as if he were boasting about his own horse. Are you truly satisfied with that? Do you truly believe Tenge is right?"
"Regardless of that, if I can be of use to Big Brother..."
"I am asking for your feelings."
"My feelings are..."
Geraha thought for a moment. This meant that his resolve was being tested. His older brother had said yesterday that they would make an enemy of the Byo Empire and fight the Tawaru tribe. Whether he had that resolve or not—that was the conversation.
"Even I have no interest in my own feelings. I do not understand why Sinkuk-ni would want to know such a thing. I think only of Big Brother."
"To me," Sinkuk tilted his head and finally looked at Geraha's face, "your feelings are important. Currently, they are the most critical matter. You are young. I can tell. Is it a virtue to kill your own self and do exactly as your brother says? That is a lie. You are lying to yourself and forcing yourself into submission. It will not last. Your spirit will not. That large body of yours will shrink before long."
"I am not forcing myself. Striking down the Byo Empire and preventing their schemes, and defeating the Tawaru to clarify who the hegemon of the highlands is—I believe these are necessary things."
Sinkuk's vacant eyebrows knit together suspiciously. He remained silent with that expression for a while, then suddenly, Sinkuk let out a stifled laugh. Kukuku.
"You fool."
"Is something wrong?"
Sinkuk finally looked up to the heavens and began to laugh.
"It is wrong. I will not oppose attacking the Byo nation. I intend to participate in the war as well."
The cousin began laughing again. Even the horses looked on as if wondering what was happening.
"It is fine to exterminate the Tawaru or whoever. What I am talking about," Sinkuk said, tears welling at the corners of his eyes, "is the matter of a bride. No, sorry. I must speak seriously. You, what will you do if you take a princess of the Byo nation? Will you become the master of a castle?"
"No, that is..."
"You are a Kosa. What use is a castle? Tenge is young. I heard that you gained the submission of subordinates. But Geraha, where are your sheep? Will you seize the sheep of some head of a hundred households? For a Kosa, if he does not take a bride, inherit sheep like gathering clouds, and establish a household with shepherds, he cannot stand as a man. Am I wrong?"
Geraha groaned. It was exactly as Sinkuk said. A Kosa noble without sheep was the same as a child. Unless one succeeded in nomadic management, one would not be recognized as a full-fledged adult.
"Big Brother must have a plan."
"Do you have no plan of your own? Geraha, forget Princess Sura. A woman is only happy when she is loved in the wild. I will give you my daughter."
This time it was Geraha's turn to knit his brows. "What?"
"Locking a woman away in a castle is something only a fool would do. My daughter Kohal says she wants to be with you."
He felt like spitting on the ground. Noticing that he was visibly grimacing, Geraha looked away. He had known Kohal since they were children. She had been a skinny, tall girl. Her mother's blood likely influenced her; Kohal's mother was not a Kosa. She was a white person from some country, a beautiful woman with a slender, tall build.
—I see, it seems I have achieved some merit.
Geraha thought ironically. Even Kohal, who had hated him so much, was saying strange things.
Kohal had been a lively girl who suited the grasslands. The winds of the highlands blew gently for her alone, fluttering her beautiful, yellowish hair. She, too, trusted the highlands and entrusted everything to them. Kohal was a lovable child of nature. Because she spoke bluntly, she often hurt people, but everyone understood it was due to her innocence and loved her impulsiveness all the more. Geraha could not deny that his own feelings toward that blonde girl were mixed with jealousy. Kohal must have been loved unconditionally simply because she was beautiful.
"It seems Kohal bullied you quite a bit,"
Sinkuk said brazenly.
Kohal would laugh, pulling her mouth up as if splitting her face in two, and she would hit Geraha, and kick him. She threw words like blades at him. The words were far more painful than being kicked.
Back then, when Geraha was a child, it was not an injustice at all to wound Geraha in both body and heart, or to give him insults that would not even be given to people of an enemy nation. It was not something to be pitied; it was as natural as a seed falling to the ground. The only one who resisted that nature was Geraha's older brother; whether it was Kohal or the other children, their hatred and harm toward Geraha were merely because they were obedient to the narrow world of the Kosa.
—Even so.
Kohal had been terrible. She was relentless. She had once whispered, "Wherever you go, I'll follow you and bully you." Her innocence became blatant malice only when directed at Geraha. To Kohal, Geraha's ugliness was a poison that was painful even to look upon, and his very existence was likely unforgivable.
"It is a story from childhood," Sinkuk said in a leisurely tone. "If you are a man, you should forgive her."
Though he did not show his rage on the surface, Geraha became stubborn at those words.
"That girl, at home, she talked of nothing but you. Badmouthing you, that is. And yet, she would not allow us or my sons to badmouth you. She was shielding you. She was watching closely what you were doing."
"I cannot believe it."
Geraha manipulated the reins with his oversized hands.
"Did she ever ignore you? She never even looked down on you. It is your choice to hate Kohal. However, I want you to know the true reason why she did those terrible things to you."
Without looking back, Geraha spurred his horse forward.
"This is the first time I've spoken with you this much, Geraha!"
Sinkuk's amused voice echoed behind him.