Chapter 162 - Chapter 159: Episode 157 - Discomfort
Min-ah returned home.
Having heard that Seon-ah had returned after sneaking out in the middle of the night with Lee Ji-ah, she had rushed back, frantic and exhausted from searching everywhere.
When she finally saw his condition, a wave of agony washed over her.
His eyes were shut tight.
Upon learning that they could never be healed, she broke down in tears, her heart shattering.
The thought that those eyes would never again hold my reflection made my chest tighten.
I wondered if he could even feel the tears streaming down my face, but in a twisted way, I thought it might be for the best.
As I realized that Seon-ah, unable to see, wouldn't even be able to dream of going outside—that he would never be able to leave my side—a strange sense of relief washed over me.
It was a thought no parent should ever have, and I couldn't help but be horrified by my own feelings.
Seon-ah, oblivious to my true thoughts, must have heard me sobbing, as he spoke in a worried tone.
"Uh... Mom, I'm okay... It doesn't hurt as much as I thought it would now..."
'We had promised to call each other Mom instead of Sophia, just in case someone was listening...'
I had become so accustomed to being called Sophia that I'd completely forgotten that rule.
Hearing Seon-ah try to comfort me, sensing my distress, only made my guilt grow heavier.
It felt as if those closed eyes of his would fly open if he knew what I had been thinking just a moment ago.
I had to hide my true intentions.
If this dark, murky heart of mine were ever exposed, Seon-ah would surely be terrified.
Yet, when I recalled how he had gone outside as he pleased despite my agony, that dark feeling refused to fade.
"Seon-ah? You'll stay by my side from now on, right?... You won't go anywhere else anymore, right?"
Thinking of him leaving me and ending up like this, words fueled by both desire and worry spilled from my lips.
"Hmm... Well, since my eyes are like this... it'd be pretty hard for me to go outside, wouldn't it?..."
Perhaps failing to grasp the weight behind my words, Seon-ah answered innocently.
Since it was essentially an admission that he wouldn't leave my side, I realized then that I would finally be able to keep Seon-ah forever.
"That's right... Since it's hard for you to go anywhere else now... I'll help you with everything. Every single detail..."
My gaze was that of someone looking at something precious and lovely.
But beneath it lay a burning, exclusive desire to possess him.
Of course, Seon-ah's closed eyes could not see the expression on Min-ah's face.
It was a relief to be free from the restraint suit, but being trapped in the annex with every move exposed so nakedly was incredibly stifling.
With four or five surveillance cameras running in every room, there was no escaping Mother's gaze.
The only faces I ever saw were Mother's or the delivery person who brought groceries once a week.
No one who hasn't been trapped like this could understand how welcome those two faces were.
This punishment, which they called "disciplinary confinement," was effectively just kidnapping and imprisonment.
They even monitored my entire life through those cameras.
Honestly, it wasn't the kind of behavior one would expect toward an adult.
But I didn't know what Mother would do to me the moment I tried to escape.
Since she had threatened that if I didn't accept this confinement, she would have me put on trial and sent to prison, I simply accepted this as the lesser of two evils.
I just wished that this confinement, which had no end in sight, would end even one day sooner.
Seon-ah always needed a great deal of resolve just to walk around the house.
There were many times he almost bumped into things while trying to move on his own.
Of course, Min-ah would protect him before he could hit anything, but he hadn't realized that being blind was such a terrifying experience.
He hadn't even imagined he would feel such danger inside the house, let alone outside.
As he realized his range of activity was being restricted, he became increasingly lethargic.
The fear of not knowing what would happen with a single step was paralyzing.
In just three days, he didn't even want to move anymore.
It felt like his mind was constantly exhausted.
Since he couldn't see, his sense of touch became hyper-sensitive, and every sound seemed to grow louder.
Furthermore, even though he knew 'Sophia' was always by his side, he found himself calling out to her more and more just to confirm her presence.
Min-ah, watching this, saw Seon-ah becoming utterly dependent on her.
Even though that dependency was becoming severe, rather than finding it annoying, she was happy, feeling that Seon-ah was finally becoming her own.
Whether going to bed, moving to the dining table, going to the bathroom, checking the time, or picking up the remote to watch TV, there was almost nothing Seon-ah could do on his own.
"Sophia... no, Mom... you're still by my side, right?"
He even looked for Min-ah now when he was just sitting still.
Seeing Seon-ah repeatedly trying to confirm he wasn't alone in the pitch-black darkness, Min-ah smiled broadly.
Min-ah sometimes felt angry whenever she thought about how Seon-ah's eyes ended up that way.
Her emotions would flare up when she remembered he had left her in the middle of the night with his cousin, Ji-ah.
That was why she would stall for a moment before answering when Seon-ah desperately searched for her.
'A minute has passed now, hasn't it?'
"Mom... please... answer me... where are you... I don't want to be alone... I'm scared..."
"Seon-ah, I was just thinking for a moment, so I couldn't answer. I'm sorry."
When she stalled like this and then answered, the sight of him reaching out his arms, begging to be hugged to confirm she was really there, was lovely.
While there was a part of her that wanted to see that, it was also a calculated move to foster that dependency, as he grew more reliant on her every time she did it.
After that thought, as Min-ah held out her arms and they embraced, Seon-ah wrapped his arms around her.
His trembling hands stroked Min-ah's back, trying to feel the texture of what he was holding.
She thought it was a bit excessive, but her son, who couldn't do anything, needed to realize that he required her help.
Because this was the best way to ensure he would never be deceived by another woman's hands ever again.
That was why, to ensure Seon-ah would never leave my embrace again, I performed this training to increase his dependency several times again today.
Hearing Seon-ah speak as if he were on the verge of tears, guilt and possessiveness became intertwined and burrowed into my heart.
I just thought that I wanted this happy time to last forever.
If this dependency were to become severe enough, I thought that before long, even if I revealed that my true identity wasn't Sophia, wouldn't Seon-ah accept it?
However, it was still too early for that.
Just a little more... a month... no, a year? No, three years? If that much time were to pass, it was certain that he wouldn't even be able to imagine a life without me.
By that time, it wouldn't matter to Seon-ah what my true identity was.
Whether it was Mother or Sophia, only I would exist in Seon-ah's life, so he would remain mine forever.
Ji-ah felt that her cousin's appearance was gradually changing.
As he couldn't see in front of him, that confident demeanor from before was slowly fading away.
Now, seeing him show extreme dependency on his mother, my heart ached.
Because this happened because I couldn't properly act on the thought that I would protect him myself, I felt my responsibility was great.
At first, when he lost his eyes, the sight of him holding my hand tightly and following wherever I led was quite cute, but now only a feeling of pity remained.
Was it since I found out there was no hope for recovery?
Watching that changing appearance, it felt like my chest was becoming choked up.
'My fault is just too great...'
At first, I had tried to take care of Seon-ah oppa, but my aunt had pushed me away and glared at me with a resentful expression.
It was a silent implication, as if to tell me not to approach her son anymore.
Seeing that glare, with her mouth shut tight so that Seon-ah oppa wouldn't hear, I felt an even greater sense of guilt.
That was why I didn't even have the courage to talk to Seon-ah oppa, let alone approach him anymore.
The intimate relationship that had formed when I saw those two on the first day no longer existed.
I was beginning to feel that this house I lived in was becoming more and more uncomfortable.
The moment I took him to the gate that day kept repeating in my head, remaining as regret deep inside my heart.