Chapter 171 - Chapter 167: Episode 165 - Retrospection
Seon-ah realized he had been underestimating this world all along.
The memories of living for twenty-eight years as Sihyun in his previous life—the values he held as a man back then—were utterly meaningless here.
To be honest, the sexual desires of women in this world weren't much different from what he'd known before.
He had assumed he would have the upper hand because his physical strength and the world's power dynamics were reversed.
That was a massive miscalculation.
He'd thought that having sex to his heart's content and being drained by women would be nothing but bliss.
But sex is only good when you're the one in control.
Being ravished relentlessly when he didn't want it, and being drained until he was at death's door with nothing left to give, was pushing his body and mind to the absolute limit.
He became entangled in the twisted values of this world, trapped in a hellish cycle of being ravished by Yu-rin every single day, only to be captured by monsters and forced to taste a different kind of hell.
When his mother came to rescue him from the Demon World, he thought he'd been liberated, but that was just the beginning of a new nightmare.
Yet, in that hell, he found himself genuinely growing fond of someone for the first time.
The woman known as the Demon King.
At first, he hated her to death.
He couldn't possibly like her; she had taken over his mother's body and would indiscriminately thrust her hips down on him, mixing insults and verbal abuse with the pain she inflicted.
But those feelings gradually shifted.
Excluding the sexual acts, the way she treated him was completely different from the other women who had ravished him.
He was captivated by that gaze that seemed to see only him.
Every time what he received from her outweighed what he gave, his heart filled with thoughts of her.
There was a time she made a mistake, but looking back, it was partly his fault, and he wanted to forgive her.
His love for her was something he wouldn't trade for anything—except for one single thing.
That one thing was a dream he had never had in his current life, nor in his previous one.
In a life drifting further and further from normalcy, he had his own child for the first time.
Sophia, while full-term, had touched her belly and spoken to him.
It was a shocking statement: the child was merely an 'object' created to be used as her vessel, and he should never show it any affection.
That was why she refused to even give it a name.
He knew how cruel she was to other demons, even if she treated him with kindness.
He couldn't help but wonder if she was only kind to him because he was a valuable 'object', not because they were family.
It might not have been any different from how Yu-rin or Miel treated him.
He didn't know if he was being deceived by her kindness.
But that felt like too much of a leap in logic.
There were still things he needed to confirm.
He wanted to know if she possessed any capacity for familial love.
That was why he decided to give her a name himself, using his mother's surname.
Lee Yena.
It meant a child born beautifully.
The name was chosen while Sophia was still pregnant.
It held his wish for her to be born without pain.
From the day his daughter was born, he frequently brought her to Sophia, desperate for her not to see the child as just an object.
He did this because his love for his daughter outweighed his desire to reclaim his mother's body.
However, his hope gradually withered in vain.
One day, he saw Sophia using magic to rapidly accelerate Yena's growth.
No parent could remain calm after hearing their daughter screaming in agony.
But Sophia didn't seem to fit into the category of 'parent'.
Even when he begged her to stop, Sophia would only repeat, "Seon-ah, it is an unavoidable necessity to return your mother to you."
After hearing that, he had to close his eyes, even as Yena screamed and pleaded in pain.
He knew it then.
The one who suffered most from the contract he made with Sophia wasn't his mother or himself.
The biggest victim was Yena.
His heart ached knowing Yena had suffered so much because of him and his mother.
That was why he prioritized Yena over Sophia.
Fearing Yena would disappear through the ritual, as soon as she was old enough to move, he shifted his time from Sophia to Yena.
Those memories were a gift from a pathetic father who wanted to leave something behind for his poor daughter, who was destined to be sacrificed.
But those memories were also a gift for him.
He was terrified that once those memories of Yena faded and Sophia took over, he would regret it every single day he looked at Yena's face.
He was scared he would live a life stained with regret, trapped in the guilt of having essentially killed his first daughter.
That was why he had to save her.
It didn't matter what happened to him, or if he became enemies with Sophia.
His daughter was so precious to him that he would have given anything to protect her.
When he was with his mother, who was acting as Sophia, he'd clung to the happy illusion that Yena was living a good life at Yu-ra's house.
He was relieved, recalling the memories of her receiving more love than he had ever received from his own parents in the Demon World.
He felt nothing but gratitude toward Aunt Yu-ra for taking care of Yena.
That certainty had eased his worries about his daughter.
But it was all just a fantasy.
His daughter's body had already been taken by Sophia, and he had been chasing his own happiness in an illusion, pretending his mother was still herself.
He was a truly pathetic father.
He couldn't even follow a quarter of his father Hyeon-tae's footsteps.
No, he was so hopeless he didn't even deserve to speak his father's name.
He felt like vomiting at the realization that he had been liking Sophia—the one who had taken over his daughter's body—all this time.
It was true that the only ones in the category of 'us' for Sophia were him and her.
No, to be honest, he might not even be family to her.
Just a pet.
Maybe a pet she cherished deeply, but a pet nonetheless.
That was closer to the truth.
As that thought took hold, his memories of her began to erode.
His love for her, which he wouldn't trade for anything except for that one single thing, had died the moment she took Yena from him.
The only thing he could give her now was not love, but cold mockery and anger.
He didn't even care why Sophia had taken Yena's body.
He hated her to death for making all his efforts to save Yena go to waste.
She treated her own daughter as an object; she wasn't a person, just a monster.
That was the Sophia he saw now.
The red, hot love that had burned in Seon-ah's heart had hardened and shattered into pieces.
She was neither his daughter nor his lover.
Now, she was just an enemy.
Along with that, he felt an increasing sorrow toward his mother.
The fact that he had eventually tried to abandon his mother to save his daughter was a stain he couldn't erase.
He felt equal guilt for both his mother and Yena.
The moment he realized Yena had disappeared, the sorrow of failing to save her—even after betraying his mother—filled his heart.
And as that sorrow faded, a crushing guilt took its place.
There was only one way to alleviate it.
Since he now knew his mother had been acting as Sophia for his sake, and that she wanted his body, he would grant her wish to ease his conscience.
If his mother still wanted him after everything, he would give it to her.
Otherwise, the weight of losing Yena and the guilt toward his mother would be unbearable.
Seon-ah sat alone, blankly hugging his knees, the door to his villa room locked tight.
He couldn't even see, so staring into the void was impossible.
His cheeks were hollow, his body gaunt and thin.
It had been three days since he was dragged here, and he hadn't opened his mouth once.
He hadn't eaten or spoken; he had simply given up on life.
'I just want to stay still... I don't want to think about anything...'
Every time he closed his eyes, he prayed that tomorrow wouldn't come.
The desire for an eternal sleep had crossed his mind hundreds of times in just three days.
He heard someone knocking on the door, calling for him.
"Father... Father... Please... come out."
The sound was grating.
It reminded him of the Jangsan tiger ghost story from his past life; to him, Sophia was nothing more than a monster.
She was using Yena's voice, mimicking those precious memories.
She persisted, dirtying Yena's mouth and tainting the memories that belonged only to him and his daughter.
"Father... It's really me, Yena... It's true that I made a contract with Mother and switched bodies for a while..."
Because Sophia had perfectly stolen his mother's memories, he refused to believe a word of it.
Seon-ah kept the door locked, sobbing silently in the dark.
Having buried his daughter in his heart, it was agonizing to hear Sophia use Yena's appearance to deceive him.
He had been deceived by women before, but this time, he was terrified of her persistence and filled with hatred.
His anger flared as the knocking continued.
He decided he would tell her he wanted to return to his mother's side.
If she refused, he would bite his tongue and end it.
With that resolve, he staggered to the door and opened it.
Bianca was standing there.
"Seon-ah... It's very hard, isn't it? I brought you something to drink. If there's anything you want, I'll help you. Like when I was waiting in front of your mother's mansion... I'll protect you just like I did then."
Bianca smiled at him.
But her voice trembled, and he could see the sadness beneath her smile.
When Seon-ah nodded, she placed a cup in his hand.
As he drank it with trembling hands, her smile began to shift into something else.
"Did he lose consciousness? Was the drug too strong? I wanted to restore his condition before feeding... I was too impatient."
Bianca watched Seon-ah, who had collapsed after drinking the liquid.
He was out cold.
She wondered if the drug was faulty, but that wasn't it.
Seeing that Seon-ah was still physically aroused, she knew the drug was working.
It was just his physical state.
He hadn't eaten or slept for three days; his body was a wreck.
If she had tried to ravish him right then, he surely would have died.
She needed to restore his health before she could consume him.
Bianca began to plan how to get him to eat before he woke up.