Chapter 204 - Chapter 200: IF Side Story - Still Getting Devoured (2)
Under normal circumstances, even leaving the house was a struggle. But to improve the quality of my broadcasts, I needed to become a partner streamer and fix the absolute disaster that was my chat.
How long had it been since I last stepped outside?
I couldn't forget the look in Appa's eyes when he watched me prepare to head out—he looked genuinely proud of me.
"Just how long have I been cooped up in here... for Appa to look at me like that?..."
I had so much I wanted to say, but the memory of Appa holding back his words and seeing me off with a smile and a request to have a safe trip just made me feel even more ashamed.
"Streaming is... my job, so I have to focus on it first..."
To clear my head, I slapped both cheeks to steady myself and reminded myself of what I needed to do.
Then, I opened the door to the cafe.
"Hello? Seon-ah-ssi."
A woman with a jet-black bob, around my age, spoke to me as if she knew exactly who I was.
Thinking about it now, I realized I had no choice but to meet someone whose face I didn't even know.
The moment I realized that while I exposed my entire face on stream, I had no idea what my viewers looked like, fear began to churn in my gut.
I hadn't realized it because I hadn't been going outside, but this first real-world experience was terrifying.
The fact that I didn't know her, but she knew me, triggered memories of the stalking I had endured.
As the fear of being stalked filled my mind, the urge to crawl back into my room kept repeating over and over.
The color drained from my extremities, and my hands and feet turned ice-cold.
The eyes of the women in the cafe felt as if they were licking every inch of my body.
The gaze of that terrifying stalker who had once climbed on top of me began to surface again.
"Ah... ahhh..."
Why did I ever leave that safe space?
My legs were trembling.
My waist bent on its own as I tried to curl up. I wanted to cover my ears and be separated from the world.
"Um... Seon-ah-ssi?... Are you okay?"
By the time my mind went blank, I remembered that the woman in front of me had just greeted me.
I searched my memory to identify her.
"Park Yu-rin-ssi?..."
"Yes, that's right. Seon-ah-ssi... you look pale... are you feeling sick anywhere?... Should I take you to a hospital?"
A soft, gentle voice.
A voice that sounded genuinely worried echoed in my ears.
Then I realized that the woman in front of me wasn't a stalker, but my viewer.
And a viewer who had been cheering for me since the early days of my stream, at that.
Park Yu-rin didn't have eyes filled with the persistent will to ravage me like a stalker; her eyes showed concern.
She wasn't mocking me or saying she would treat me like a toy; her voice was asking if I was alright.
Realizing that, I apologized to her in my heart, embarrassed that I had been comparing her to a stalker.
'I'm sorry... to compare a stranger to a stalker right in front of her...'
I turned my head back to face her.
What I saw was jet-black hair in a bob and a cat-like face that reminded me of a leopard.
That was my first impression of Park Yu-rin.
At a glance, she looked like one of those delinquent older sisters, but unlike her face, which gave off the air of a predator, her gentle tone and worried eyes created quite a gap.
"I'm fine. I'm just a little dizzy... I have panic attacks sometimes."
It wasn't a lie.
It was a mental aftereffect from when I was attacked by the stalker.
About a year ago, while I went to the bathroom alone, a stalker followed me into the men's restroom and tried to force herself on me.
Thankfully, my mother heard my screams and saved me; otherwise, I would have been pinned down and ravished while struggling like a madman.
Recalling that horrific event gave me goosebumps all over.
"Still... your face is so pale... I think it would be best for you to sit down and rest."
I nodded once to agree with Yu-rin-ssi and moved to find an empty seat inside the shop.
Perhaps because of the dizziness, my body staggered.
It felt as if the ground was moving every time I stepped on it.
Eventually, my trembling legs gave out, and I lost my balance.
Tak!
I heard my ankle hit the chair leg, and my body, having lost its balance, started moving toward the floor.
No, rather than "moving," "being thrown" would be more accurate.
Just before my body hit the floor, things felt like they were moving in slow motion, and a short, questioning sound escaped my lips weakly.
"Huh?..."
It was a sudden, confusing turn of events.
The floor I saw was made of marble.
If I kissed that floor head-first, it would hurt quite a bit...
I squeezed my eyes shut, bracing for the impact.
Then, I felt a hand grab me from behind.
"Seon-ah-ssi?... Are you hurt anywhere?"
Once again, that soft, worried voice came from Yu-rin behind me.
"I'm... I'm fine..."
"You don't look fine. Your ankle hit the chair leg... I'll help you up for now."
When I said I was fine again, Park Yu-rin must have reached her limit, because she cut me off and started to support me.
Strangely...
As her touch reached me, my trembling body seemed to calm down.
My panicked mind was returning to normal.
Without realizing it, I left my body to her care and moved to the corner of the cafe.
As soon as we reached the corner, I took off my shoe and checked the ankle that had hit the chair.
It was just a little swollen, but it was fine.
However, Park Yu-rin seemed to think otherwise.
"Let's go to the hospital. I'll take you."
"It's okay. It's not that badly injured."
"No! You must go to the hospital. If I... hadn't called you here, you wouldn't have gotten hurt."
Park Yu-rin must have thought it was her fault.
Why would she think that?...
Is it because she's a woman who claims to be my fan?...
Or does she just have a meddlesome sense of responsibility?...
Seeing a devoted fan who cherished me with my own eyes brought me joy, but at the same time, a heavy heart.
It was because I could finally realize that a real person, not just the voice of a brat I heard through countless letters and donation sounds in the chat, liked me this much.
But I had to refuse going to the hospital together.
The moment a scandal with a viewer broke out and I got plastered on Namuwiki, I might have to quit streaming.
Even meeting in this cafe was something I shouldn't have done, so I had to decline going to another place together.
"Park Yu-rin-ssi. I can go to the hospital by myself. Look. It's not like I can't move."
To prove I was fine, I stomped my feet and jumped.
Park Yu-rin still looked at me with a worried face.
"And... if I go to the hospital like this, our meeting today might be canceled, right?"
"Th... that..."
She seemed quite conflicted between her worried heart and the hard-won opportunity to meet.
This kind of talk was a threat I could only make because she was a devoted fan who had watched my stream for a long time.
My conscience pricked me because it was a threat using her fandom, but it seemed to be working.
"Park Yu-rin-ssi... It's okay. It didn't happen because of you."
"..."
Yu-rin-ssi still didn't look well, as if she was still hung up on what happened earlier.
She kept her mouth shut and sat still with a guilty expression.
At this rate, the meeting felt like it would drag on.
If I dragged it out for no reason, viewers who knew my face might see me, or I might be late for my evening broadcast.
Scandals or being late are things that cannot exist in my dictionary.
That's why I spoke up first to get a conversation going.
"As far as I know, Yu-rin-ssi, you've been watching my stream since the early days... how did you come across my stream?"
It was a question I had thought of before the meeting, as I wanted to hear from her, a devoted fan who had been watching since the beginning.
When I started the conversation, the worried expression from before gradually faded as she thought about the question.
She seemed to focus as if she were thinking deeply.
"Um... to be honest... one of my coworkers is a 'tusu' (stream viewer), so I ended up watching the stream together."
"A workplace?... You're around my age... to think you're already employed..."
She looked to be around my age...
It seemed she already had a job.
"Ah... it's because my job is a Hunter... an Obligatory Hunter, though. Since I can't leave the Obligatory Hunter dormitory... all I can do is watch VTube or Twitch on my smartphone..."
"Ah... so you were an Obligatory Hunter..."
Obligatory Hunter was an alternative service created for women to fulfill their military duty.
It was a service that required high-level personnel, only possible for those with the ability to become Hunters.
In terms of my previous life, it would be safe to say it felt close to a defense industry company.
In reality, it's about getting a job at a Hunter guild, which has tendencies close to a PMC (Private Military Company), to substitute for military service, but...
"Ah... it's a story men don't really know... I'm sorry for suddenly bringing up military-related talk."
Thinking I didn't understand properly, Park Yu-rin apologized and bowed her head.
Actually, since my mother was a Hunter, I knew a fair bit about Obligatory Hunters while looking up various things about Hunters.
However, if I pretended to know and brought it up, I might have to listen to Park Yu-rin's words with the feeling of a woman listening to a man talk about playing soccer in the military, so it seemed better to leave it as a misunderstanding.
"It must still be hard... thank you for your hard work serving in the military."
"..."
When I offered words of comfort, Park Yu-rin blushed, feeling shy, and stopped talking.
The bold appearance from earlier when she suddenly grabbed my body was nowhere to be found.
Park Yu-rin was acting like she was inexperienced.
When the conversation cut off like this, it was good to take the lead and guide it.
But I shouldn't forget why I came here, so I thought it would be better to be a bit firm this time.
"Come to think of it... we were supposed to meet because of the nickname change, right?"
Suddenly, Park Yu-rin's face turned pale.
"I... I'm really sorry! Actually, I was going to meet you today to apologize..."
Well... the person who used "WannaFuckSeonah" as a nickname was right in front of me; if she kept acting confident, it would be no different from being a pervert.
I wondered if the reason she had been restless and worried about me since earlier was because she felt sorry for using that nickname.
"It's okay. People can make mistakes sometimes. I'd appreciate it if you could just change the nickname properly... and was the partner streamer talk a lie?"
What kind of connections could an Obligatory Hunter, who was basically a soldier in her early twenties, have?
It was just strange that she said she would pull strings so I could become a partner streamer.
"No... the father of that tusu coworker is the representative of Korea's Twitch. She's also a fan of Seon-ah-ssi, actually. She told me to ask if you had any intention of becoming a partner streamer when I met you this time."
"Ah... so that's how it was... I'm sorry for assuming it was a lie..."
I never imagined that a tusu coworker would be the daughter of the Twitch boss.
"I'm the one who's more sorry... I didn't help with the partner streamer contract directly, my coworker brought it up first... and I only caused trouble."
Caused trouble... She was Seonttamok-jwa, who donated hundreds of thousands to millions of won a day.
Besides, unlike her nickname, she usually acted with a polite tone and manners, so it wasn't that much of a nuisance.
The problem was the viewers who crossed the line by using suggestive words in donations and chat after seeing her nickname...
In a way, she was the cause that allowed the trolls to run wild, but now that she was changing her nickname, it didn't matter.
"That's not true. I've always been grateful to Yu-rin-ssi... thanks to you, it became a reason for me to get interested in streaming. I'm grateful, so... is there any favor you want from me?..."
This was sincere.
Because besides the donations she had made so far, her cheering and words of praise were a big help when I first started streaming.
"Um... I want an autograph from Seon-ah-ssi."
"Au... autograph?"
I'm not a celebrity, just a mere internet streamer, so why would she want an autograph...
It was hard to understand.
"Could you please sign these two t-shirts? One is for that tusu coworker."
I felt dazed as I signed the two t-shirts Yu-rin-ssi handed me.
"Kyaaaak! Thank you! I'll cherish it forever... forever!"
Is it okay to be that happy?...
But couldn't that tusu coworker have come along too...
"But couldn't you have come with that tusu coworker?..."
"Ah... I'm the only one who used my vacation time to come, so she can't come. She already used her monthly leave two weeks ago."
"Ah... I see..."
It seemed Obligatory Hunters had monthly leave just like regular companies.
After that, the two of us ordered simple drinks at the cafe and exchanged various stories.
When I found out that she and I were the same age and that the place where she was an Obligatory Hunter belonged to the Hwaryong Guild, where my mother worked, she started to feel even more familiar.
Furthermore, Yu-rin said she started playing games while watching my stream.
Then, a serious discussion about games followed.
We talked about many things, such as the rune settings for Legend of the Valley, which I mainly play, champion matchups, damage trades by level, and the synergy and matchups by combination for the bot lane, which is the lane I mainly play, and her thoughts and mine were almost identical.
Then, my heart pounded at the fact that Yu-rin was a viewer who properly watched my stream, which was half male cam and half serious game broadcast.
Knowing that a long-time devoted fan had similar tendencies to me, my heart, which was half curiosity at first, had already started to feel a sense of camaraderie with her.
As time passed and it was eventually time for us to leave, this meeting, which I had wanted to end quickly, started to feel regrettable.
"Hey... Yu-rin-ssi... if you ever want to talk to me... please leave a message on Talk. Maybe it's because we get along well... I want to be friends."
"I felt the same way... I was worried about what I'd do if I got rejected. Seon-ah-ssi... thank you!"
Even when we left the cafe and parted ways, her back remained vivid in my eyes.
The way she kept turning her head toward me as if it were regrettable still lingered in my mind.
'Come to think of it... there was a viewer participation event for the co-op game next week?...'
If there was time, I thought I'd like to try streaming with her.
That's why I hurriedly started sending a message to my manager.
- Manager Noona, have you found people to participate in the viewer participation event yet?... Can I bring someone I know personally?
- Huh? It's rare for you to send a message first... I haven't found all the people to participate yet. Are you going to look into it?
Manager Noona was taking care of various things, such as managing the chat in the Twitch room and finding administrators to manage my YouTube channel.
At first, she called me "Boss," but I banned that word.
It felt quite awkward to have an older Noona calling me "Boss, Boss" and using honorifics all the time.
- Yes. I have a friend I got to know personally. I'm just looking for one spot.
- Hmm... it's not a Legend of the Valley game, so it's not easy to gather people, so one person is...
- Then please leave one spot open for now... I haven't asked properly yet.
- Normally, it's better to get a definite answer and fill the spot, but... if that friend says they can't, I can enter as a participant, so it shouldn't matter. Still, ask as soon as possible and let me know.
- Thank you, Noona!
- Then don't be late for the evening broadcast.
- Yay~!
I even got permission from Manager Noona... now all that was left was to ask Yu-rin if she had any intention of participating.
As soon as Yu-rin returned to her dormitory, she knocked on her coworker's door and opened it.
"Haein, I got the t-shirts."
She threw the t-shirt to the coworker she called Haein.
"Oh. Yu-rin... you're back?... How is Seon-ah in person?"
Haein asked Yu-rin as she received the t-shirt Yu-rin threw.
"Um... how should I put it... like a sickly beautiful boy?... I was really surprised when he suddenly turned pale and looked like he was about to collapse the moment he saw my face... he looked even more arousing in person than on camera..."
She told Haein her impressions, mixing in the dirty talk she hadn't even brought up when she was with Seon-ah.
"Ha... if it wasn't for my vacation two weeks ago... I would have followed... so regrettable..."
Haein smacked her lips and complained.
"He seemed quite inexperienced. He looked really pure."
"Huh? You're pure too, you virgin."
Haein said to Yu-rin with a smirk.
"Shut up! You're a virgin too!"
Yu-rin grabbed a pillow from the corner of the room and threw it at Haein.
And after joking around, Haein asked with a serious expression.
"So what did Seon-ah say? Is he going to be a partner streamer?"
"Yeah, he said he wanted to... He said that because of the trolls mixed in due to my ID, he got suspended, so all the applications he made so far were rejected."
"Wow... so it was because of you that he couldn't do it in the end? Anyway, I got it. I'll tell the older sisters I know at the company."
"Thanks, Haein."
"No... what's there to thank... I'm a Seon-ah-dan too."
Seon-ah-dan was a nickname for the devoted fans who watched Seon-ah's stream.
It was said that the manager who manages Seon-ah's stream named it herself, and it was a better name than I thought.
"Yeah. Seon-ah-dan, fighting!"
In this spot, the two Seon-ah-dans realized their friendship.
Yu-rin, who had been talking with Haein, went into her room and took out the t-shirt with Seon-ah's name written on it.
"Haa... haa..."
Then, breathing heavily, she smelled the part where Seon-ah's name was written and started rubbing her face against it.
"It feels like Seon-ah's scent is on it... hup.."
Yu-rin took her face off the t-shirt and looked at the achievement she had gained today.
The fact that Seon-ah's name was written on the pure white t-shirt she got signed was proof that a big connection with Seon-ah had been made.
At first, I made my nickname "WannaFuckSeonah" because I wanted to get his attention, but I didn't get much attention.
That's why I donated hundreds of thousands to millions of won a day to get his attention.
Of course, if I got banned, he might forget my nickname, so I chose the most polite words possible to chat and put them in the donation text.
And finally, the fruit of that effort was unfolding before my eyes.
A t-shirt with Seon-ah's autograph.
This looked small, but it was a very big step.
Because a connection with him had been made.
Now that I had become friends with Seon-ah, I just had to work on it so we could develop into a romantic relationship at any time.
Just like I had done so far, all that was left was to swallow his heart with very slow, seemingly slow, but very large movements.
"Hehehehe..."
Already in Yu-rin's mind, she was in a romantic relationship with Seon-ah, even seeing their children and grandchildren, and they were looking at the setting sun together, holding each other's hands.
Katok!
Suddenly, the sound of a Talk message arriving on my smartphone echoed.
After looking at the smartphone that broke my pleasant delusion with annoyance, I checked the Talk message.
The fact that Seon-ah had sent a Talk message to the 1:1 chat room made me erase all the delusions from just a moment ago and focus on the message.
- Yu-rin-ssi. Did you get home safely?
- Yes. Seon-ah-ssi. I got home safely. Is your ankle okay? What did they say at the hospital?
- They said it's a mild sprain at the hospital. Thank you so much for helping me earlier.
Because what happened earlier was on my mind, I asked about Seon-ah's well-being, and fortunately, it seemed to have ended with mild symptoms.
- No. It was something I naturally had to help with.
Huh?...
I had been chatting just a moment ago, but the '1' disappeared and no reply came.
It seemed like he was writing a message while worrying about something.
- Um... Yu-rin-ssi. We're the same age, so how about we drop the honorifics? We've become friends after a long time, so it feels too awkward.
- Yeah. I'll do that, Seon-ah.
- Thank you for becoming my friend. Yu-rin.
Seon-ah sent it mixed with letters along with a cute cat character emoticon.
To think he would approach me first without me having to approach him...
If we get closer like this step by step, I wondered if we could eventually become a couple.
- Seon-ah, what are you doing now?
- I'm eating after the evening broadcast.
With those words, Seon-ah took a picture of the dining table and sent it.
As soon as I saw that picture, I felt like throwing up.
Cucumber cold soup and seasoned seaweed...
Seon-ah seemed to have no taste for food, more than I thought.
Well... he ordered mint chocolate latte at the cafe earlier, so I saw signs of that.
But it would be a bit much to say it openly...
- Ugh... yeah... it looks delicious... eat a lot.
- Oh, by the way... Yu-rin... do you have time next Saturday?
'Could this be a date request?'
- ?? There's no gate raid on Saturday and Sunday, so I'm resting in the dormitory, why?
- I'm planning to do a game broadcast viewer participation event next Saturday evening, do you want to do it together?
Regrettably, it wasn't a date request.
Well, just dropping the honorifics one day after becoming friends was a great development, so there was no way it would go as far as a date already.
But being able to be with him, even in a game, was a pretty good thing.
- Yeah, I'll participate... but there's a condition.
- What is it?
- I'm going to change my nickname, but can you decide the nickname I'll change it to?
If Seon-ah decides my nickname himself, he'll remember it for a long time, right?
I really am a genius.
Then, the Talk message that was coming from Seon-ah cut off abruptly.
When no Talk message came even after waiting for a long time, an anxious feeling began to sprout.
"...Is he worrying about making a nickname?... I blew the chance to talk..."
From then on, it took 2 hours and 30 minutes for Seon-ah to make a nickname and send a Talk message.
That time was already lights-out time for Yu-rin.