Chapter 222 - Chapter 218: IF Side Story - Still Getting Devoured (20)
'What kind of person was I before I lost my memory?'
Ever since that tearful reunion with the two people in front of me, everything has felt off.
At first, I thought amnesia was just a minor inconvenience, but the questions it raised kept piling up, tormenting me.
A painful ache burrowed deep into my chest, threatening to break me with doubts about who I really am.
'Still, this just isn't right...'
According to Yu-rin, those two are my mother and father.
A woman who looked young enough to be my older sister and a middle-aged man were staring at me with worried expressions.
"What's wrong, Seon-ah? No appetite? I only brought the things you like... Yu-rin told me you lost your memory, so I brought what you usually enjoy."
Before my eyes sat a pizza topped with eggplant and pineapple, paired with mint chocolate ice cream for dessert—a visual and culinary assault.
I had tried to accept them as my family, but now, something felt fundamentally wrong.
To bring such horrific food and subject me to this kind of torture...
Are they really my family?
What was in front of me could hardly be called food.
Even with my memory gone, I know better than to call this edible.
And yet, I supposedly loved this stuff before?
What kind of twisted taste buds did I have?
No human should eat this.
I actually enjoyed this?...
If I eat this, won't I lose the memories I've made today, too?
"I'll eat it later... I haven't been awake long, and my stomach feels a bit off."
"...You haven't been awake long. We didn't think of that. I'm sorry."
It didn't seem like it was their fault, my supposed parents.
It must be that my taste buds were just incredibly eccentric before the accident.
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Don't tell me when I go home, the side dishes will be chilled cucumber soup, stir-fried seaweed stems, and braised pollack?...
I pray that's not the case.
Leaving the food aside, I listened as the two people who claimed to be my parents explained what I was like before I lost my memory.
We talked about everything, from trips to amusement parks when I was young, but for some reason, nothing resonated.
Every time they recounted a happy memory, I only felt a hollow emptiness in my chest.
.
.
.
After the tearful, shocking, and terrifying reunion, Seon-ah wore a hollow expression once the two left the hospital room.
"Haa... what should I do now? I don't know anything. No matter how much I think about it, I can't remember my past life. Even after hearing what they said, I can't get a handle on who I am. Why?..."
I knew the reason to some extent.
I had been listening from behind, knowing they had deliberately left out the fact that he'd been stalked, kidnapped, and worked as a streamer—a job that could trigger traumatic memories—out of concern for his shock.
"Seon-ah. Do you want to know? What kind of work you did."
"I'd like to, if I could... but there's no way."
It wasn't that there was absolutely no way.
I had saved all the clips of Seon-ah's streaming activities on my computer.
"...I have quite a lot of videos of you working as a streamer on my computer. If you watch those, maybe your memory will return?..."
"Really? Then can I go watch them after I'm discharged tomorrow?..."
"Your body isn't in good shape, so it'll be hard to move around. It'd be better for me to come to you. I'll visit your house after you're discharged tomorrow. Let's watch them together then."
"Thank you... Yu-rin."
"Don't feel too burdened. I also want your memory to... return quickly."
Yu-rin wore a pained expression.
I couldn't say anything after that.
An awkward atmosphere formed between us, and by the time it got dark outside the window, Yu-rin spoke.
"It's already this late... Seon-ah, I'll see you at your house tomorrow."
"Yeah... Thank you. See you tomorrow."
She said we were just coworkers, but would a normal coworker go this far to help?
Perhaps there was something more between us.
'She said we weren't in a romantic relationship... maybe a "something"? But even so, it's strange. There's so little skinship... And she seems to avoid touching me. It's not that she dislikes it, but she seems nervous, as if she thinks I would dislike it... What on earth was our relationship?'
I felt like my head would start hurting if I thought about it any more.
It was a feeling like something was about to come to mind, yet it wouldn't.
It was like chasing something that couldn't be caught, even if I reached out into the air.
'Tomorrow... if Yu-rin shows me the videos, maybe I'll be able to know something.'
Once I turned off the lights in the private hospital room, sleepiness washed over me.
'For now... I'll leave tomorrow's work for tomorrow... and go to sleep...'
I fell asleep, holding onto the hope that I could regain my memory.
.
.
.
I had a dream again.
The feeling of someone stroking my hair felt good.
The woman stroking my hair spoke in a trembling voice.
"Seon-ah, you worked hard today too. It was tough, wasn't it?..."
"No. As long as you're by my side... everything is fine..."
My voice in the dream was weak, dying, as if it would go out at any moment.
"I'm sorry for everything... I shouldn't have brought you here. I didn't know you would suffer like this."
"But I was able to feel this happy because I met you, right?"
"..."
I said it to comfort her, but she had no answer.
It was as if she felt an even greater sense of guilt, and her breath caught in her throat.
"If we had dated normally, married normally, and loved each other, this wouldn't have happened... Seon-ah... If your memory was actually manipulated... If the memories you had with me were all lies, what would you do? Would you hate me? It's just a hypothetical story, but... tell me... the truth."
She must be saying that because she doesn't know that I'm currently in her arms, unaware that I'm being deceived by such a lovely woman.
"Well... I don't think I'd be angry even if I was deceived."
"Why?..."
Her pupils shook as she asked in a trembling voice.
"Just because I was deceived by such a lovely woman... just because my memory was manipulated, it doesn't mean the moment we are currently pressing our bodies together isn't happy, right? Isn't that so?"
"Hic.. hie-hic..."
I heard the sound of her sobbing silently.
I reached out and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
"Even if everything was a lie... I'm happy right now. [Name]... Isn't that right?..."
'What did I just say?... I called that woman's name...'
Even though it was a word I said with my own mouth, I couldn't understand it.
"Thank you... Now... I think I have no more regrets. I'll think of the memories with you as a dream of a moment. You must be tired, so rest now..."
Before I could say anything, the woman waved her hand, and I in the dream fell asleep smoothly.
And with a heavy silence hanging over us, the woman just sobbed silently.
.
.
.
"Ah... please... listen to me..."
I opened my eyes to find myself back in the hospital room.
Feeling my vision blur, I rubbed my eyes to wipe away the tears.
"Why... why..."
Thinking about the dream, I felt a strange sense of longing.
Who on earth was she?
"I wish my memory would return quickly..."
It felt too realistic to just be a dream.
'It wouldn't be bad to ask Yu-rin... Could it be something that happened while I was with her? That's why Yu-rin... maybe she had that kind of expression yesterday?'
I remembered Yu-rin's hesitant appearance when she told me she wanted my memory to return quickly.
Could the dream be related to her?...
"It might just be a dream, though... Well, there's nothing I can do about it now."
Leaving my worries behind, I started to wash up at the sink in the corner of the room.
Today is the day I get discharged, so I figured I should get ready before my parents come to pick me up.
.
.
.
On the way home after being discharged, my mother had said that phrase more than twenty times in the car.
"Seon-ah. How is your body?... Are you okay?"
While driving, she kept asking, as if she were treating me like a precious treasure.
'Even if I have a skinny body, I'm still a man... to think she'd be this worried... Was I that frail before I lost my memory?'
"I'm okay, Mother."
"...You should say Mom, not Mother... It seems like the atmosphere has changed... Every time you call me Mother... this mom feels sad."
"Yes, Mom..."
It was embarrassing to call her Mom at twenty years old, but I thought it would be better to mirror my past self as much as possible.
Maybe I could find a clue to regain my memory.
"We're almost home. Seon-ah, get out..."
"Yes..."
It felt awkward, as if I were being treated like a young child, but if this was my mother's way of showing affection, I should accept it.
My mother, who was getting out of the car, was surprised when she saw the car parked in front and muttered to herself.
"Hmm?... This is Yu-rin's car... Seon-ah. It seems Yu-rin came to our house..."
"I... is that so?..."
She said to see her at our house, but to think she would have come first.
Strangely, my heart races when I think about her.
Could she be the identity of the woman who made me feel that happy feeling in my dream?...
I think I really hope it was Yu-rin.
From her beautiful appearance to her dependable personality.
It's hard to find feminine aspects, but if she were my lover, I think I would be quite happy.
Though, seeing as she immediately answered that we weren't lovers when I asked about our relationship yesterday, the possibility seems slim.
"Let's go in first, Seon-ah."
"Yes... Mom."
My mother took the lead, and I followed.
Even though it's my parents' house and the place I lived, I have no memory of it, and the unfamiliarity made me feel a bit reluctant.
When the front door opened, what welcomed us was Yu-rin, who had come out to the entrance.
"Welcome back?... I had some business with Seon-ah, so I was imposing on your house first."
Behind her, my father followed out, looked at me and my mother in turn, and said to me.
"Seon-ah... are you okay... if it's tough, tell us it's tough... I think we've been too insensitive all this time..."
'Tears?... My father seems to be a bit soft...'
My father sniffled and shed tears.
"..."
I didn't know what to do when my father shed tears, not knowing how I would have acted before, so I just stayed still.
"Let's go in first..."
Then my mother patted my father and said let's go into the living room together.
'Hmm?... To think my mother is the dependable one... Well... that could be possible, right?... There are houses like that too.'
Leaving a slight doubt behind, Yu-rin and I followed the two of them toward the living room.