Chapter 388 - Episode 380: The Path Taken
Cadne's corpse was placed in a tent away from the commotion, separate from the bodies of the other enemy generals and soldiers.
Noein visited the place, bringing only Matilda with him.
Waiting in front of the tent, to which they were guided by a soldier, was Marquis Sulfo Hakkarainen, the man who had struck down Cadne. Marquis Hakkarainen bowed to Noein and opened the entrance to the tent.
"This way."
Entering the tent, Noein came face to face with Cadne's corpse.
He was clad in what appeared to be custom-made golden armor, yet his legs—which had not walked for a long time due to paralysis—were thin, their muscles wasted away. It was certainly Cadne.
Come to think of it, Noein thought that this was the first time he had seen his face up close.
During the great war on the southwestern border. At the Battle of Bezel. And now, in this battle. Noein had been swept up in the turmoil caused by Cadne three times, but until now, Cadne had been a conceptual existence within Noein—the "source of the turmoil." He had only seen his figure from a distance, and knew his features only vaguely.
Cadne had dragged many people into conflict, Noein included, but seeing him now, he was nothing special. Just a man. An ordinary man who was one cycle older than Noein and one head taller. Now, he was merely a silent corpse.
"...And this woman?"
The corpse of a cat-beastwoman was entwined with Cadne's body. She had died as if embracing Cadne from behind. Seeing this, Noein asked.
"Cadne was held by this woman, and while standing, he was pierced through by my sword. As a result, this woman was killed as well... Since she was with Cadne until the very end, I thought she must have held some sort of position, so I brought them in together. There was also the matter that she held Cadne with abnormal strength even in death, so it was a chore to pull them apart."
"I see, so that's how it was."
Noein had received rough information from the Lancel Kingdom side regarding what kind of subordinates Cadne had taken with him when he fled north from the Lancel Kingdom for this battle. He had also heard a story that among Cadne's party, there was one beastman pet slave whom he doted upon.
This woman must be her. Looking at the back of her neck, another mark had been carved over the slave brand of the Lancel Kingdom. It was evidence of a freed slave.
"It seems that at the end, he said, 'Where did I go wrong?'"
Hearing the words of Marquis Hakkarainen, Noein looked back.
"Cadne did?"
"Yes. It was during a cavalry charge, so I couldn't hear it clearly, but he appeared to have uttered such a thing. For the final words of a man who was once the king of a nation to be such a complaint... it is quite pathetic."
"...Yes, it is."
Noein answered with a faint, bitter smile. Returning his gaze to Cadne's corpse, he spoke again.
"Please place the head in a jar and preserve it in salt. Please do the same for this cat-beastwoman. I will take them back to the southern part of the continent and deliver them to the Lancel Kingdom."
"Understood."
"Also, could you leave me alone for a bit? I have a fairly deep history with him. This is likely the only time I'll have to face his corpse like this."
"...Yes. Then, I shall take my leave."
Marquis Hakkarainen bowed and left the tent.
When Noein felt he "wanted to be alone," Matilda was not included among the others he wished to keep away. Therefore, only Noein and Matilda remained in the tent.
"Honestly, you chose a wretched way to die."
Noein spoke to Cadne's corpse, whose hollow eyes, devoid of light, stared into the empty air.
Before this expedition, Noein had once again received information about Cadne from the Lancel Kingdom side. While asking about the primary subordinates Cadne had taken to the northern part of the continent, he had heard about this beastwoman, and in that process, he learned of Cadne's upbringing.
He felt that there were strangely many parts of it that resembled his own. Even the fact that he loved a beastwoman and kept her by his side was the same.
In the end, he had only that beastwoman by his side, and he died pierced through along with her. To top it off, the words he spoke at the moment of death were, "Where did I go wrong?"
In this way, it was as if Cadne's figure was the wretched end of a version of himself who had taken the wrong path. The figure of the beastwoman who died embracing Cadne was like the wretched end of a Matilda who had followed a Noein who had lost his way.
If he had lived his life wrongly. If he had gone about his revenge for being born into unfortunate circumstances wrongly. The one who died swallowed by regret like this might have been himself. The one who caused his beloved retainer to die might have been himself.
He couldn't help but think so.
"...If you had chosen a different way of living, perhaps we could have met in a different place, in a different form."
If Cadne had not ended up as a tyrant. If he had not become a man who pursued the path of hegemony while bringing misery to those around him. Noein and Cadne might not have had to fight while harboring a grudge. If they had met differently, they might have even become friends.
But it was too late for that now. Cadne died at the end of the life he chose. After causing many people to suffer and creating many sacrifices, he himself died in vain.
Those who died in the border conflicts, including Edgar's father. Those who died in the great war on the southwestern border, including Jinozze. Noein's subordinates who died in the Battle of Bezel. The innocent people of the Lancel Kingdom, including Jeremy's first wife and child. The people of the Duchy of Dale and the Kingdom of Revelant who died in this battle. Thousands, tens of thousands of people were sacrificed because of Cadne. That will not change.
Therefore, Noein did not think Cadne was pitiful. He felt no sympathy for him.
"..."
To the man who was a fellow avenger but walked a different path than his own, Noein bid farewell in his heart and left the tent.
After walking for a while, he sat down in a corner of a deserted supply depot and let out a sigh.
"...Noein-sama."
Matilda also sat beside Noein and gently wrapped her arm around his shoulder. Noein leaned into Matilda, resting his head on her shoulder.
"...I've become a little scared."
Smiling self-deprecatingly, Noein muttered.
"I have tried to achieve my revenge against my circumstances by loving the people around me and living happily. I've come this far believing that was a good way to live, and I have actually obtained love from my vassals and people, and obtained happiness. But... I've stained my hands with blood, I've told lies, and I've made enemies. There are things I couldn't protect and people I couldn't save. I don't truly know what a correct and good way of living is."
Then, he looked at Matilda's face with an anxious expression.
"Hey Matilda, am I living correctly? Haven't I made some mistake—some irrevocable, great mistake?"
"Noein-sama has made no mistakes."
To Noein's question, Matilda answered without a shred of hesitation.
"I have watched Noein-sama for longer and from closer than anyone else. Noein-sama is a more wonderful sovereign, husband, and father than anyone. That is a fact beyond the slightest doubt. To me as well, Noein-sama is a master more wonderful than anyone else could be compared to. I can assert this on my life."
Matilda placed her hand on Noein's cheek and brought her face so close that their noses touched.
"I, who have received your protection from the closest distance, will prove with my entire life that you are correct. The Grand Duchy of Arqvist, and every person living within it, will prove from here on that you are a wonderful person. So, please, be at ease."
"...Thank you, Matilda. You've saved me. I feel lighter. You are the support of my heart."
Saying this with a smile of relief, Noein shared a light kiss with Matilda.
That conversation was overheard by Helga Revelant, who happened to be a short distance away.
Having exhausted her mental energy while rallying the conscripted soldiers again, and not being accustomed to the battlefield, she was indeed useless at the site of the battlefield's aftermath. To avoid being in the way, she had left the hectic scene and was sitting in a corner of a deserted supply depot when Noein and the other arrived on the opposite side of a pile of supplies.
Since Noein and the other began talking without noticing Helga's presence, Helga had unintentionally ended up hearing their conversation.
While feeling bad that it had become like eavesdropping, she could not move at this late stage, and eventually let out a sigh of relief when she heard the footsteps of Noein and Matilda leaving after finishing their talk.
Then, she remembered the words Noein had just confessed.
"..."
Through the events of recent times, Helga had come to think that Noein Arqvist was a strong sovereign. She felt he was a strong person who wielded power without flinching or being intimidated even when facing harsh realities. She thought he was a good administrator, loved and trusted by his vassals and soldiers.
Even that Noein worries and suffers. There are times when he confesses his weaknesses. There are times when he clings to another.
And the one Noein secretly pours out his weaknesses to is that rabbit-beastwoman. Having learned a side of Noein that Helga was never meant to know, and hearing the words that rabbit-beastwoman spoke in response, how could she possibly say there is no love between those two within that exchange?
Helga felt ashamed of the words she had spoken on the first day she met Noein. Realizing how arrogant she had been while speaking so pompously, she felt an irremediable sense of shame.
How she should correct her great mistake from here on, and what she should start with, she could not yet even imagine.
How much she must learn and strive in order to become a fine sovereign. Imagining the staggering distance of the road ahead, Helga looked up at the sky with a blank expression.