Chapter 157 - Winter Night
(1)
"Good morning, Toya-kun."
I should have woken up to Airi's gentle voice, but Airi is still sleeping quietly.
Looking at the clock beside the bed, it's already past 9:00.
Did I forget to set the alarm yesterday? I don't know if it's because it was late last night or if her daily fatigue had accumulated, but Airi is asleep.
In that case, I'll just let her sleep.
Airi is sleeping while clinging tightly to me. I feel like I might wake her if I move carelessly, so I maintain my posture and simply gaze at Airi.
Last night was... well, it was amazing.
My world was dyed in Airi's warm colors, and I was able to obtain a very pleasant pleasure. To the point where I wondered if it was even possible to feel better than this.
I wonder if Airi was conscious of it after all? The fact that I said I was interested in sex work.
Maybe it would have been better to keep it hidden. But I don't want to hide things from Airi, and I don't want to lie.
That's why I spoke honestly to Airi. As expected, Airi got angry. But Airi told me.
"If there's something you want me to do, tell me. I'll do it for you."
She might have been angry, or perhaps it was Airi's longing; honestly, I have no interest in things that are abnormal. I was simply curious about what they were like.
I've never thought that I wanted to go. I probably won't think that in the future either. As long as Airi is by my side.
A calm winter morning, though the cold is severe. Airi, with her soft sleeping face, is asleep in my chest. This kind of year-end might be alright too.
"Nn..."
Airi makes a sound and hugs me tightly. I gently hug Airi back.
Now both my hands are occupied. All I can do is gaze at Airi. That calm sleeping face that I could look at forever without getting bored.
I wonder if I'm in Airi's dreams? I want to confirm it. If I could peek into Airi's heart, I'd want to peek. No, maybe it's fine even if I can't.
I pray with all my heart. ...It seems I've forced my way in.
When Airi opens her sleepy eyelids, I call out "Good morning" in the gentlest voice I can, and Airi replies "Good morning" looking a bit embarrassed.
Thinking there's no need to be embarrassed at this point, I give her a kiss, and Airi clings to me.
"If you were awake, you could have woken me up."
"You're always waking up early and you're tired, right? It was late last night too..."
Airi reacts to the words "last night." Her face flushes, and she pats my chest repeatedly.
"Toya-kun, you're mean~"
I don't know what's mean, but I stroke Airi's head. Airi looks entranced and buries her face in my chest.
Then, as if noticing something, she lifts her head and moves away from me. Airi slips out of bed and puts on her clothes.
"I have to prepare breakfast," Airi says in a panic.
There's no need to panic; I'm going to let you relax today. I hug Airi after she finishes changing.
"If we're eating now, shall I go buy something from a fast food place for lunch? Today is Airi's day off."
"But the laundry is piling up..."
"Then, do that from noon."
"I'm not dreaming, am I? Toya-kun, who was so cruel, is being very gentle."
I kiss Airi once more.
"It's not a dream, right?"
"Yeah, but I'll finish just the laundry in the morning! If we're going to relax, I want to relax from noon."
"I get it."
"Toya-kun, please put the laundry in the washing machine too."
Saying that, Airi left the room.
For now, I gather the scattered clothes... Airi's underwear was scattered too. Do you put underwear in a net or something?
I take them to the dressing room where Airi is, along with the change of clothes.
"What do I do with these? Just put them in?"
Airi's face turns bright red when she sees her own underwear.
"Put those aside because I'll put them in a laundry net," she says, taking them from me.
Once the washing machine is set, I return to the room and watch TV.
Later, Airi enters the room holding mugs.
"You'll at least drink coffee, right?"
"Thanks."
The two of us snuggle close and watch TV while drinking morning coffee together.
Honestly, any program would have been fine.
Overcome with affection, I gently pull her close.
Airi also indulges in that act and snuggles against me.
Think only of Airi. Just as those words say, I think only of Airi.
A very gentle world.
It's so comfortable that I feel like I might fall asleep—though I mustn't sleep—and while thinking such things, my eyes suddenly meet Airi's.
Was Airi feeling the same way? Airi smiles when she looks at me. The morning was overflowing with gentle time.
"I-I should probably take the laundry out soon."
Airi says this and moves away from me.
"The rest is in the afternoon, okay?"
Saying that, Airi leaves the room.
I wanted to enjoy it a little longer.
But she said "again in the afternoon."
I'll save the pleasure for later.
(2)
I slept until noon.
When I woke up, Kazu-san was gone.
Heading to the kitchen, Kazu-san is moving busily.
It seems he is making omurice.
Kazu-san tries his hardest to flip the egg with inexperienced hands. Unable to just watch, I helped him.
Holding the plate in one hand and the frying pan in the other, I flip it onto the plate. Lo and behold, a fluffy omurice that anyone can make is complete.
"Kana is good at cooking, isn't she."
"Anyone can do it once they get used to it."
Before I knew it, the way he calls me changed from Kana-san to Kana.
I didn't dislike it; rather, I felt joy.
After making omurice for two, I finish it by drizzling ketchup on top.
We lined up the plates on the table and ate together.
It's very delicious.
"Kazu-san is also good at cooking."
"Thank you, but you know, Kana..."
I wonder what's wrong?
"Kana can also just call me Kazu without honorifics."
I was happy, but I declined the offer.
"I'm sorry, Kazu-san is still easier for me to say."
"I see..."
Kazu-san looked disappointed.
As if to encourage him, I added some words.
"But I'm happy about the feeling. I'm really happy. But calling you without honorifics is somehow embarrassing."
"Whatever is easiest for you is fine."
How much I was saved by that one sentence.
"By the way, Kana, about the consecutive holidays..."
The subject changes suddenly.
"There's a musical at the start of the year. I've arranged two tickets, so would you like to go see it together?"
"Are you interested in musicals?"
For the record, I've never seen one.
"It's my first time too, but I saw the advertisement on TV and became curious, so I tried buying advance tickets."
"If Kazu-san is okay with it, I'll go anywhere."
"Thank you very much."
"Also, may I make two suggestions of my own?"
"Yes, what is it?"
Kazu-san's expression looked a bit anxious.
"First, I want to spend New Year's Eve together. Whether at home or for the first shrine visit, as long as it's just the two of us."
"I understand."
"And one more thing, I don't want you to be nervous in front of me. Um... shall we speak without polite speech? I'll be careful too."
It was something that had been bothering me; he sounded too formal. He said it before, right? "When I'm with my girlfriend, I get tired of the version of myself that's acting"...
If so, I want him to fix it, even if it's little by little.
Kazu-san appeared to think for a moment.
Then he said, "I understand."
"I made a request too. I'll do at least that much."
"Thank you."
After that, we ate the omurice, cleaned up, and both prepared to go out.
"Shall we go see a movie for once? There's a movie I happen to want to see."
"If Kazu-san is okay with it, that's fine with me."
"Then, let's go to the station building. We can enjoy shopping and dinner while we're at it."
"Yes."
And so, we went to the station building in Kazu-san's car.
The movie he wanted to see was an anime adaptation of a tokusatsu movie; I wonder if Kazu-san likes anime?
When the movie ended, I asked Kazu-san.
"Kazu-san, do you like anime?"
"Yeah, I like it quite a bit. I've seen A Silent Voice and In This Corner of the World. For the latter, I was curious about the heroine's voice actress."
The one Kazu-san is talking about is probably the one currently airing as a drama. By the way, he apparently hasn't seen the drama. He gave a strained smile, saying it would be disappointing.
The anime Kazu-san likes are the ones that air early on holiday mornings in our hometown. Other than that, he apparently watches them on the internet.
We got excited talking about holiday anime. I was the only one getting excited, but Kazu-san was listening properly.
"It's nice that we have a common hobby."
I felt relieved when Kazu-san said that.
After that, we killed time by shopping and eating dinner. It was a standard date, but that was enough.
"Are you staying over today?"
I asked Kazu-san on the way back.
"I have morning practice tomorrow, so I'm going home."
I see, that's a bit disappointing.
"I'll come stay over again when I have free time."
"But won't you have no free time once you become a fourth-year..."
"Job hunting doesn't happen at night. I can handle my graduation thesis properly too."
He says so and laughs.
"Don't overdo it."
"Thank you for worrying about me."
The car arrived in front of my apartment.
"Well then, see you. Thank you for today."
"It's natural if we're lovers. I'm the one who should thank you."
Saying that, his car disappeared into the darkness of the night.
I return to my cold room alone.
Then, after changing into loungewear and taking a shower, a message arrives.
"I want to arrange the New Year's party, so tell me your preferred dates."
It was a message from Watanabe's group.
"Any time is fine except New Year's Day," I replied.
An "OK" stamp was sent back immediately.
It seems everyone gave the same answer. From Watanabe-kun's perspective, he probably wanted to do it on the 3rd, which is Mika-san's day off.
It was decided for January 3rd.
After that, a message from a different group.
"Keep January 5th open. Let's have the 2nd Girls' Night Out!"
It was a group with the simplistic group name "Girls' Night Out."
It was a group of female members from Watanabe's group where each shared dissatisfactions and complaints, and occasionally lovey-dovey stories.
I sent a message saying "Roger."
After that, another message.
"Do you have any preferences for where to go for the first shrine visit?"
It was a message from Kazu-san. He'd probably be troubled if I said anywhere is fine.
"How about Usa Jingu?"
"I understand. Then, I'll keep my schedule open with that intention."
I'm looking forward to it. I want to keep looking at the same future as Kazu-san forever.
I hope that I am in the future Kazu-san draws.
(3)
~♪
The smartphone rings.
Looking at the clock, it's 23:30.
No matter how much of a holiday it is, what is he thinking at this hour? For now, I answer the phone.
"Ah, Ai. It's me."
"I know, what is it? At this hour..."
Kiritani Eita. The person who made the call.
He's my lover, but he frequently causes problems and is driven to the brink of breaking up.
Every time, Watanabe's group is convened, and we've overcome it.
Did he come to cause a problem again today?
"Actually, I'm in front of Ai's house right now..."
Eita is coming to my house?
Ah, my name is Sashihara Ai.
A first-year student in the nursing department of a local university. It's been nearly three years since I started dating Eita.
Currently, I'm living alone in an apartment rented near the campus. I manage with allowances from my parents and a part-time job.
And now, it seems Eita, who is my boyfriend, is in front of the apartment.
Listening closely, I can hear the engine sound characteristic of his car.
Probably influenced by a certain manga, I can see a flashy yellow car from the window.
"...I'll get ready now. Wait a bit."
Saying that, I change, put on a little makeup, and prepare.
Then, I leave the room and get into Eita's car... it's noisy. It's probably the influence of a certain manga anime. High-volume Eurobeat is playing.
"It's too loud! Lower the volume a bit!"
"Listening to this gets my driving tension up and blows away the sleepiness, though~"
While saying that, Eita lowers the volume. Honestly, driving in Eita's car is terrifying.
He goes at a stupid speed. Because the suspension is stiff, the car bounces even at small bumps. My lower back starts to hurt.
Also... his driving isn't bad, but it's not good either. Plus, because he speeds, the passenger is terrified.
I don't want to die together in a crash yet.
Regardless of that, he drives at his own pace.
I want him to have some awareness that he's carrying his girlfriend.
Well, it's better than nothing, since he invited me on a date.
Thinking about it, Eita has almost never invited me on a date.
Is this intended as atonement for the other day?
"The other day" refers to when the fact that Eita went to a cabaret club was discovered.
I said we should break up.
Although I forgave him this once due to the persuasion of Watanabe's group, and although he says it's unavoidable because of social obligations, I still don't have enough mental capacity to forgive him.
Since then, Eita started calling me regardless of whether it was day or night.
About trivial things, repeating that he loves me.
Listening to my complaints.
I felt that he was trying to repair our relationship little by little.
But I never thought I'd get a date invitation in the middle of the night.
Though calling it a date, it's just a drive, and if it's just a drive, my car is better.
However, I decided to indulge in his kindness here. I hate unnecessary trouble...
Eita continues to string words together in his usual tone.
The car runs busily toward the sea and the mountains.
When he tries to attempt a downhill, I smack his head and warn him.
"Toya does it too!"
I know. I heard about Katagiri-kun's driving skills from Airi. But you're different, I tried to say indirectly.
The two of us stop the car at a curve on the way and watch a car descend the slope with tremendous momentum.
Eita, who admires such driving skills, looks on with a gaze of envy, but I have no interest and take a nap in the car.
I am woken up by Eita when we arrive at a family restaurant by the seaside.
The clock had passed 6:30.
"It's almost time."
Time for what? That question cleared as time passed. The morning sun shines in. He was waiting for the sunrise.
"It's beautiful, right?"
"Yeah..."
Even the cold winter night will eventually have a dawn. Is that what he wanted to say? Will a dawn come to our night?
Night visits every day, but eventually, the dawn comes. I receive his feelings in his own way.
Tears naturally spill over.
"Ai?"
Eita looks at me anxiously.
"I'm okay."
When I say that, Eita says, "I'm sorry for everything until now. And thank you..."
After wiping my tears with a handkerchief and composing myself, I say to Eita, "Since we're here, shall we eat breakfast before going home?" We ate a morning meal at the family restaurant and went home.
When we got home, I stopped Eita, who was trying to leave immediately. When I said, "Rest at home for a bit," Eita obeyed obediently.
No matter how dark the winter night, the dawn will surely come someday. It was like that until now. It will surely be like that from now on too.
Eita is sleeping in my bed. I made instant coffee and watched TV alone.
It seems I fell asleep at some point, and when I woke up, a blanket had been placed over me and there was a note.
I'll come again on New Year's Eve, let's do the first shrine visit together, it said...
Like Eita's car, we travel a road that feels even slight bumps and is shaken to the left and right.
Even so, we continue to walk, aiming for the destination we will eventually reach.
It's only just entered winter and it's cold, but even so, when the sun shines, it felt as if a warm light was illuminating us.
(4)
When evening comes, I go shopping with Toya-kun. What shall we have tonight?
"Toya-kun, is there anything you want to eat?"
When I ask Toya-kun, Toya-kun is lost in thought for a while. Did I ask such a difficult question?
"Anything is fine?"
"It's fine."
Still, Toya-kun is hesitating. Is he planning to order something that difficult? I want to know Toya-kun's preferences, and I intend to accept any order at this point, but...
"Then... pork and napa cabbage mille-feuille."
Huh?
"No, I thought a hot pot would be nice for once..."
Two people dipping into one pot. Wouldn't that be nice too? Toya-kun says. Adding a word that it'll warm us up on a cold night.
"I understand. Then, we'll go with that."
Once the menu is decided, the ingredients to buy are decided. While looking at the recipe on my smartphone, I judge the ingredients. Occasionally, Toya-kun tries to sneak in unnecessary snacks or cup noodles, but I return them to the original shelf and scold Toya-kun. I'll forgive him for some juice.
Once the shopping is finished, we go straight home. When we get home, I head to the kitchen. Toya-kun says he'll help too, but since Toya-kun doesn't seem very good at cooking, I hand him a cloth and say, "Then, wipe the table."
I cook while looking at the recipe. Since it seems zousui is good for the finish, I cook rice.
When a good smell fills the room, Toya-kun, who was watching TV, also reacts.
I place the portable gas stove on the table and put the pot on top, and it's finished.
I dip into the pot together with Toya-kun. Toya-kun eats large amounts of napa cabbage dipped in ponzu.
"There's plenty of meat too, so please eat."
When I say that, as if he had been waiting for those words, Toya-kun devours the pork in an instant. When most of it is eaten, I put rice into the pot and make zousui. I add beaten egg and it's complete.
Toya-kun eats it all, taking refills many times. Seeing Toya-kun eating with such gusto makes it worth making.
When we finish eating, I start cleaning up.
"I'll help," Toya-kun says, but those words alone are enough.
"Toya-kun, go take a bath while you can."
"...Don't you want to enter together?"
"Yeah, let's go to a hot spring together again."
"I get it."
Saying that, Toya-kun goes to his room to get a change of clothes and takes a bath.
In the meantime, I finish cleaning up, and by the time Toya-kun gets out of the bath, the cleaning is done and now I take the bath.
When I get out of the bath, Toya-kun is not in the living room, and when I return to the room, there is Toya-kun studying silently alone.
The TV was on, but he's hardly watching it.
Poke
"I said let's take it easy during winter break, and Toya-kun said okay, right?"
"That's why I'm not playing games. I was bored until Airi came back."
"Even so, the fact that you didn't notice I came back means you were immersed again, right?"
"W-well, I guess that's how it is?"
"Because you broke your promise, I'm going to give you a punish~ment."
"W-what is it..."
Even while saying that, Toya-kun's face shows even a hint of composure. You're already expecting it, aren't you? You've already guessed, haven't you? Seeing Toya-kun with that expression, I spoke the words he desired.
"Studying is forbidden today! Give me some attention~"
Saying that, I act spoiled toward Toya-kun.
"It can't be helped."
Even though he doesn't actually dislike it. I know, you know? That you've started to take an interest in women recently. But you mustn't act spoiled with any woman other than me, okay?
While drinking the juice we bought, the two of us watch TV side by side. The content of the TV doesn't matter. Because the time spent like this with Toya-kun is precious.
At that moment, a message arrives.
"We're doing the Watanabe group New Year's party on January 3rd," the message says.
Furthermore, "Let's have a Girls' Night Out on January 5th," a group message from the Girls' Night Out group.
When I tell Toya-kun, he says one word, "Have fun."
"Is it okay?" I ask Toya-kun, and Toya-kun shows me his smartphone screen.
"It seems only the girls are gathering, so let's gather and make some noise among the men," one message says.
"If I know the time you're coming back, I'll come pick you up," Toya-kun says.
If that's the case, I won't hesitate.
We watch TV again.
We spend the cold winter night warmly.
It was a day that warmed both heart and body.