Chapter 180 - Wandering
"~♪"
Baths really are the best.
They're the pinnacle of the culture Lilin created.
...Or so someone said.
Entering with Airi isn't bad, but soaking leisurely alone like this isn't bad either.
A lot happened today. I put Airi in danger, and I made her angry. We made up in the end, but as the knight protecting the princess, I can't let her go through that again.
As I was healing my body for a while, Nishimatsu-kun came over to my side. Does he want something? It's probably nothing good anyway.
"I give up; there's not a single person here who'll give me the time of day."
He's got a lot of nerve saying that after doing what he did.
"I think you got what you deserved, though?"
"You're harsh. Oshima-san and Ichinose-san told me the same thing: 'Please look elsewhere; though I doubt there's any woman in Watanabe-han who would be swayed by you.'"
That's obvious.
I didn't feel like sympathizing with him, naturally.
What I was curious about was why he felt like talking to me. And...
"Why are you so obsessed with Watanabe-han? With you, if you went elsewhere, plenty of women would flock to you, right?"
When I said that, Nishimatsu-kun shook his head.
"You don't get it; you're blessed. Your girlfriend is Tosaka-san, and the women around you are all charming. It's only natural to want to seduce the women of Watanabe-han."
"I understand that there are many charming women, but for you, aren't there plenty of other charming women out there?"
"You're certainly right. However, it's not interesting to seduce women who fall easily. The more impregnable the woman, the more charming she feels."
Yeah, I can't understand that. And that way of thinking won't work on Watanabe-han.
"It's unfortunate, but I don't think that logic will work on Watanabe-han. Everyone has someone they love, and they're devoted. Above all, I think they'd reject that very mindset. The forceful approach you used today won't work either."
"Yes, that's why I intend to try a different hand. It seems the North Wind isn't enough to win over you all."
"I think giving up is the best move. If you do, I might consider arranging some women for you."
Watanabe-kun arrived.
"I'm all set on that front, thank you."
"I'm saying I'll find you 'women worth the effort of seducing.'"
"It's useless to try and make me give up; my current goal lies with Watanabe-han."
"I see; so I have to break your spirit even more..."
"Exactly. I'll be taking my leave now. I'm glad I got to talk with Katagiri-senpai."
Saying that, Nishimatsu-kun left the bath area.
"Is this okay? Leaving him be? He's definitely targeting Tosaka-san, you know?"
Makoto called out.
"It'll be fine because there are other women. I don't think he'll use force."
"Have you never considered the possibility of her being seduced?"
"No. We confirmed things with each other during the day. I just think I should worry about Airi's safety."
"Toya, did you peek into Nishimatsu's mind?"
I nodded.
"It was terribly distorted. With that, it's impossible for him to seduce the women of Watanabe-han, who aren't swayed by looks alone."
"But there's the possibility of force, right?"
"I think everyone is on guard because of today's incident. I don't think there will be force."
My thinking might be naive. But, just to be safe, I intend to stay by Airi's side as much as possible.
"How about you, Takemoto-kun? With the commotion over here, you probably couldn't even focus?"
Watanabe-kun spoke to Takemoto-kun.
"Nothing really happened? The commotion was the bigger deal. Maybe just that Manabe-kun had a hard time?"
"Manabe-kun did?"
"Yeah, it's no big deal. He was just hit on by Niina-san during the shopping trip."
"I see."
Watanabe-kun let out a deep sigh.
"I did have a talk with Sashihara-san, but it seems that among the women, many are supporters of Niina-san..."
"Is that so."
"We just have to wait for the fever to cool down. Those kinds of things..."
When Sakai-kun said that, Manabe-kun sighed and said, "That might be true."
"How about the rest of you? Did you come to make up?"
Watanabe-kun addressed the men.
"Well, I was forgiven. Though I was warned, 'There won't be a next time.'"
Ishihara-kun answered.
It was similar for everyone else.
"Must be nice, everyone. I was told to discard all my eroge. She said if I'm feeling that way, I should direct it at her... Eroge and girlfriends are different, right?"
The one complaining was Kiritani-kun.
I wonder how Makoto is doing?
"I was fine; it seems she actually worried about me. Kanna may look like that, but it seems she's afraid of losing me."
"Stop with that overconfidence, it'll just make things complicated again," I said, to which Makoto replied, "I know, I'll definitely not tell Kanna."
"How about you, Toya?" Makoto asked. I explained the circumstances.
"That's so like Tosaka-san; you're loved too, huh."
Makoto said.
I don't want Airi to go through anything more painful. I swore it firmly.
(2)
Niina-san was depressed again today.
I heard the details a moment ago.
Apparently, there was a bit of a conflict during the shopping trip.
Kinoshita-san is working hard to encourage Niina-san.
We also had a bit of a conflict. Since Watanabe-kun and the others bowed their heads, it seems everyone forgave them for the time being.
Kanna is depressed.
I can mostly guess the reason. She put up a front in front of everyone, but in a place like this, she exposes herself.
"Do you have the luxury of worrying about others~?"
The one speaking to me is Hanayama-san.
"I do, because I trust Toya-kun. He made a promise to me today."
"A promise?"
"I appealed to Toya-kun—my feelings, my true intentions. Toya-kun accepted them. He's a person who keeps his promises."
"Possessiveness again? He'll find you annoying eventually."
"That'll never happen with Toya-kun."
"Is that so? I actually had Toya-kun look into my heart today~"
Eh...?
Toya-kun didn't say a single word about that...
"He looked properly. He acknowledged that I'm serious."
"Uuu..."
"Airi, it's a cheap provocation. Don't take the bait."
Kanna came over.
"He acknowledged it, but he didn't accept you, right? Toya isn't that kind of guy."
"It's just as Otonashi-san says. He didn't turn toward me, but I'm confident I'll win him over eventually. After that, you can have Nishimatsu-kun comfort you..."
"Don't mess with me!"
I shouted.
"You're quite shaken, aren't you? Did you become anxious~?"
With Toya-kun, that's impossible. Even if I understand it in my head, my heart was wavering just as Hanayama-san said.
Even though I know I mustn't waver, feelings of anxiety attack me.
"That so-called strongest bond isn't much after all."
"Airi, Toya is fine. He's an idiot and he's dense, but he's special only for Airi. It's been that way until now, right?"
When Kanna said that, I only answered, "Yeah."
"Airi, if I were confident I could win over Toya, I wouldn't be talking to Makoto. The one without composure is Hanayama."
Kanna said that and glared at Hanayama-san.
"Otonashi-san, Tosaka-san, and everyone else are the same, but you all say I'm overconfident; I think you all are far more self-conscious."
"...I think it's probably the difference between a rose and a weed."
I tried to counter Hanayama-san's opinion. I continued to Hanayama-san, who looked like she didn't understand.
"Everyone... including Shimizu-san, has been stepped on many times. Even so, they showed they could bloom. There's no flashiness, but like flowers blooming in asphalt, they are strong, sturdy, and beautiful. I think Hanayama-san is beautiful too, but that's like a rose raised in a specific environment. We are fundamentally different."
"Does that mean you're admitting defeat~? No matter how you think about it, a rose is more beautiful, right~?"
"That's true. But that's fine. Because we have the strength to bloom without breaking, no matter how much we're stepped on. Because our bond is that strong."
"Is that an excuse for when you lose~?"
"I wonder?"
Shimizu-san joined the conversation.
"You're talking about sore losers, but as Otonashi-san said, you haven't even been able to pull up those weeds. On the contrary, it looks like you're envious of those weeds."
"Envious? Don't be stupid. There's no way... How ridiculous. You can just keep licking each other's wounds."
Saying that, Hanayama-san left the bath area.
"...She seems to be quite affected,"
Emi said.
"Just as Watanabe-kun said, it might be just one more step. Everyone, let's stay sharp!"
When Ai said that, everyone raised their fists and shouted, "Oh!"
"That said, just waiting for the opponent's move isn't interesting; once in a while, we have to be the ones to initiate."
Ai said that and racked her brain.
"I don't think that's necessary. Toya-kun said, 'Unless you're overwhelmingly in a superior position or have a surprise tactic, the one who moves first loses.' Those two initiated because they had surprise tactics, but they didn't work. We don't need to go out of our way to compete on the opponent's turf."
"What does that mean, exactly?"
"We don't need to do anything. Being our usual selves is the strongest."
"True, they're self-destructing even if we do nothing. There's no need to do anything."
Kanna agreed.
"But if we want to put them in a situation where they can't lift a finger, shouldn't we use that tactic?"
Mika-san said.
"But is it okay? I feel a bit hesitant, like we're the only ones getting special treatment,"
I asked Emi.
"It's fine, it's fine. If they're targeting you all, we also need to protect Airi-chan and the others specially. It's soundproofed, so please do it without hesitation."
"...That's no good. There's also Toya-kun's punishment game..."
"What's a punishment game?"
Kanna asked.
"I decided that when I go home tomorrow, I'll be spoiled for both today's and yesterday's portions."
I said that and sank half my face into the bath.
"That becomes a punishment game?"
Kanna seemed appalled.
"It might not be a punishment for the current Toya-kun, but it's fine. As long as I can feel happy."
When I said that, everyone's laughter echoed.
"It probably wouldn't be a punishment for the current Toya. He's started to awaken to romance, hasn't he? Though he doesn't seem aware of it."
"Like a late-blooming cherry blossom."
Kanna and Ai talked while laughing.
Yes, Toya-kun's flower of love has finally bloomed.
It has incredibly sweet nectar.
That belongs only to me.
I'll absolutely never give it to anyone.
(3)
"Well, that's that."
I left the bath area. The one waiting for me was Nishimatsu-kun.
He said he wanted to talk. I had an idea of what it was about.
It was a plan for us to wake up early tomorrow morning and ambush each other.
I didn't think it would work, but I agreed. It wasn't like I had a better idea.
Even though I said those things to Tosaka-san, it was just as Shimizu-san said.
This is already hopeless.
Even that thought occurred to me.
If you give up, the game is over right there.
That's what they say, but I don't know what to do. This is my first time experiencing this.
In the first place, why don't I give up?
Isn't it a waste of time?
There is a part of me asking that.
I should just return to my own domain.
If I do, I can spend every day happily.
Then why do I go out of my way to feel this pain?
A wonderful thing that you can finally grasp only after overcoming painful feelings.
A version of me appeared who yearns for such a thing.
I don't want to admit it.
I desperately try to shake off that version of myself.
But the temptation is intense, trying to break my identity.
Watanabe-han, attempting to break the only thing I was clinging to.
I want to run away, but I mustn't run away.
Actually, if I just admitted it, it would be easier, but my pride won't allow it.
The one who offered a drink to me while I was conflicted was Takemoto-kun again.
"...Do you even have time to be doing this?"
The only hand extended to me, who is nearly isolated and helpless.
As I received the drink, I opened the pull-tab with a pssh sound.
"You seem to be struggling quite a bit."
"You probably think it's serving me right anyway."
He probably doesn't. He's not that kind of person.
A clumsy person who says what he thinks honestly. He should just attack his girlfriend with that clumsiness.
"I told you yesterday, right? That you look like a very brave and dignified person. I can't look at you with eyes of contempt. Rather, I feel envious."
"If you have time to be envious of others, why don't you put it into action? You probably ended up not saying anything today either."
"Well, yeah. I don't have courage like Hanayama-san."
Takemoto-kun laughed self-deprecatingly.
"...But, you have the courage to acknowledge who you are. I'll acknowledge that. ...Because I don't have that kind of courage."
"Courage to acknowledge who you are? You're simply running away."
"I think the courage to retreat is sometimes necessary. I don't have it, so that 'courage' of mine you mentioned is the same. Simply because I don't want to admit it. Because I don't have the courage to face my own changes."
Is the reason I'm talking so freely because of the drink?
"Isn't that admitting yourself?"
I wavered at that one sentence from Takemoto-kun.
"It's not something that sounds that cool. I told you I'm just running away."
"The moment you admit to yourself that you're running away, aren't you facing yourself?"
"Are you trying to butter me up like that, with the intention of seducing me now that I'm heartbroken?"
"Heartbroken... Hanayama-san..."
Takemoto-kun stopped talking there.
I know the rest without hearing it.
I thought it was a slip of the tongue myself.
I am in love.
It means I've admitted it. The fact that he didn't say it to the end is probably Takemoto-kun's kind of kindness.
Why do I show my true self so much when I'm in front of Takemoto-kun?
Is it because I'm in an environment that's much more comfortable than in front of Toya-kun?
"The drink's gone. I'll go get some more."
Saying that, Takemoto-kun went to get drinks.
Takemoto-kun is talking with Kinoshita-san and Niina-san. Since he was interacting with me, he's probably being teased.
Watching Takemoto-kun hurriedly denying it, I feel inexplicably irritated.
...Is this irritation?
That question suddenly crossed my mind.
What is it, irritation or impatience... loneliness?
No, that's absolutely not it.
I shook my head, denying what I just thought with all my might.
Get calm; at this rate, it's exactly as Watanabe-han intended.
However, once a feeling is held, it doesn't dissolve easily.
"It looks like we have plenty of time today, so I brought a lot."
Saying that, Takemoto-kun lined up cans on the floor. Snacks as well.
Then he sat down beside me with a bit of distance, just like yesterday. In that moment, my heart leaped.
"What's wrong?"
Noticing my abnormality, Takemoto-kun looked at my face curiously.
"I-I'm just confused because of the drink!"
"Are you okay? Should I bring some oolong tea?"
"I-I'm fine. More importantly, you said we have time, right? I'm going to have you accompany me thoroughly!"
"That's my intention, so it's fine."
Surely this is just a momentary lapse. It's because of the magic drink.
I decided to believe that.
But once a doubt is held, it doesn't leave easily, and I'm shaken by his every move.
I'll surely have forgotten by tomorrow morning. No, I'll just drink until my memory flies!
Due to desperation, momentum, and impatience, the pace was fast.
After about an hour, my head started to spin.
"Hey, are you okay!? Hanayama-san?"
I could hear Watanabe-kun's voice.
I didn't answer, and just clung to the person sitting next to me.
"Can't be helped. Niina-san, I'll leave her to you. Takemoto-kun, please take her back to her room."
"We'll help too; we were thinking of going to our rooms soon anyway."
"I see, then I'll leave it to Toya and Tosaka-san too!"
Toya-kun is coming too?
I can't show such a pathetic sight.
My consciousness returned.
"I-I can walk by myself...!?"
The moment I stood up, my legs lost strength and I collapsed on the spot. Takemoto-kun caught me.
"You can't do it alone. I'll help. Katagiri-senpai, could you hold her on that side?"
"Yeah, got it."
And so, with the two of them, I was taken to the women's room.
From there, I was led by Niina-san and Tosaka-san and fell onto the futon.
"Well then, see you tomorrow."
Tosaka-san said that and left the room.
Huh? Weren't we sleeping?
"Tosaka-senpai and Katagiri-senpai are in a separate room together tonight! I'm so jealous."
Niina-san lay down beside me and talked happily.
Then, tomorrow morning's plan is meaningless. I was laughing alone. Niina-san asked me, having misunderstood it somehow.
"You like Takemoto-kun, don't you? You looked so happy."
"There's no way! Are you an idiot!"
"??"
Why am I getting so worked up?
I didn't know how to respond.
Toya-kun is also nothing more than a target in a game.
Because if I admit I've fallen for him, it's the same as admitting defeat.
But Toya-kun can read minds, right? Then, it's obvious.
For some reason, I suddenly felt like crying. Tears came out.
"I don't really get it, but do your best! If you give up, the game is over right there."
Niina-san gave me words of encouragement, though I don't know what for.
Apparently, there was once a movie where someone faced tanks and a great army with a single handgun.
How did they face them?
A match with no chance of winning.
I finally started to realize it. And I was wandering. What on earth am I thinking?
(4)
Batan!
Mmm! A lot happened, but I'm finally alone with Toya-kun.
I feel bad for everyone, but honestly, I'm happy.
But, I have to endure today. To be spoiled by Toya-kun plenty tomorrow night, I must endure now!
"It's only been a day, but it feels like it's been a while."
Toya-kun seems to feel the same.
As soon as Toya-kun got into bed, he hugged me. It's embarrassing, but I'm happy. But today is the day for enduring, right?
Pokka
"No for tonight!"
"Usually you're the one hugging me instead..."
Toya-kun's lonely expression.
Don't make that face. I actually want to be spoiled too.
"This is today's portion of the punishment game~"
"I see, then it can't be helped."
Saying that, Toya-kun smiled.
Be more frustrated... I feel kind of lonely?
Toya-kun's arms holding me released.
"Well, in that case, good night."
Hey~
Pokka
"I told you it's a punishment game, right?"
"Toya-kun isn't allowed to be spoiled by me, but I want to be spoiled by Toya-kun!"
"That's just a sophistry."
"It is~"
"It really is torture."
Hehehe, how's that?
"Airi, I'm really sorry."
"Hoe?"
"I know it myself, that I was a bit too careless. When I found out Airi was going through that, I honestly blamed myself."
"..."
"Even when I do things for Airi's sake, I make mistakes at the crucial moments... I'm no good..."
"Buzzz—that statement is out!"
"Eh?"
"Punishment game. You remember, right?"
Toya-kun thought for a bit, pulled me close, and then whispered a magic six-character message in my ear.
He repeated it ten times.
It was embarrassing, my body flushed, it was happy, and as I listened, it felt good.
I hugged Toya-kun tightly and kissed him.
"Do you remember what I said yesterday?"
"Eh?"
"About when Toya-kun was kissed by Hanayama-san!"
"A-Ah... I remember."
"If... if, just if, it happens to me with Nishimatsu-kun, please don't hate me."
"I know. I just have to repaint Airi's lips, right?"
"Yeah!"
"Got it... but, I'll absolutely never let that happen."
"Yeah..."
It was while I was immersed in the afterglow, feeling Toya-kun's warmth.
"What are you doing, Makoto!?"
Kanna's voice could be heard from outside.
"N-No. Doesn't it make you curious? I wonder what Tosaka-san's voice sounds like... I was just..."
Beshi!
"Not even a day has passed and this idiot. Hurry up and go to your room and sleep!"
And so, the footsteps of the two faded away.
"It seems better to sleep quietly tonight."
"...Yeah."
"Well, good night."
"No!"
"What?"
Toya-kun tilted his head.
"Give me an arm pillow♪"
When I said that, Toya-kun extended his arm toward me.
When I rested my head on his upper arm, he bent his arm to embrace me.
Toya-kun's heart is nearby.
I closed my eyes and intruded into Toya-kun's world.
A very warm and gentle world was enveloping me.
Thank you.