Chapter 207 - Sorrowing the Sky
(1)
When I woke up, it was past noon.
Airi was still asleep.
We were out late last night, after all.
It was nearly morning by the time we went to sleep.
Knock knock
"Toya, are you awake?"
It was Mother's voice.
"Yeah, I'm up."
"What do you want to do for lunch?"
I was hungry.
"I'll eat."
"Then come downstairs quickly."
To do that, I had to wake Airi, who was sleeping next to me.
I'll cast a little spell on Airi.
When I cast the spell, Airi smiles brightly and clings to me.
"Airi, good morning. It's almost time for lunch."
"Ah, is it that time already?"
Once Airi wakes up, she runs a brush through her hair.
I wait for that, and then we leave the room.
Instant ramen had been prepared.
"It seems you were quite late yesterday."
"I'm sorry, I overslept,"
Airi apologizes to Mother.
"It's fine, get some good rest."
After we finished eating, we returned to the room.
"Now then, what should we do today?"
"Hmm..."
Airi is pondering.
I'll wait until Airi comes up with an answer.
Incidentally, today is rainy.
It had become the season of autumn rains.
"I'm gonna sleep a bit more~"
Airi says this and lies down on the bed.
Before long, I could hear her breathing in sleep.
When Airi sleeps, my options become limited; for the time being, games and the internet are forbidden.
Going out alone is also forbidden.
In that case, as for things to do, I have no choice but to read a book or watch television.
Or sleep with her.
Turning on the TV would probably be too pitiful.
I began reading while looking at my smartphone.
The book Airi brought for me,
the one that won the Keyaki Prize last year.
A story where the protagonist is a clinical psychologist.
It's a novel that pulls you in more than I expected. A work that covers every genre, including psychological suspense, social issues, and mystery.
While I'm reading, my smartphone rings.
"Want to gather at Blue Bird with the other bored people?"
It seems Makoto is bored.
"Sorry, but Airi is sleeping," I reply.
It seems Makoto wasn't the only one with too much time on his hands.
Apparently, several people are going to Blue Bird.
Seeing that, I sat by Airi's side and began reading again.
While immersed in the book, I feel something warm on my back.
"You were reading a book?"
When I look back, Airi is smiling.
"...I'm sorry."
"Airi, you're the one who said no apologizing for no reason,"
"That's true, but I wonder if the promise with Toya-kun is binding Toya-kun."
"I think so, but I also think that becoming husband and wife means binding each other to some extent. It's precisely because we recognize each other that we are husband and wife, so even if I feel connected, I don't feel bound."
"...Yeah."
"So I think Airi doesn't need to worry about it either."
"Thank you. I'm happy to have such a kind husband."
Saying so, Airi clings to me.
I pat Airi's head and close the book.
"Now then, since Airi is awake, what shall we do?"
"Hmm... what should I do~? Housework is no good, right?"
"It's a promise, after all."
"Changing clothes and going to rent DVDs now is a pain... hmm..."
After a while, Airi stood up.
"I'll go get some juice," she said and left the room.
After a while, she returns with juice. There was some for me too.
Airi turns on the TV and begins watching.
"Airi, it looks like everyone is gathering at Blue Bird."
"Hmm, are you going to change your clothes now?"
Ah, it really is a struggle for women to go out.
"It's raining, so today is fine," Airi says.
Then going out is off the table.
I take out my handheld game console and start playing.
Airi looks over my shoulder.
"What are you doing?"
"Playing a game, obviously."
Airi says she wants to see too.
I connect the cord to the TV and switch the input.
Then, the handheld game's screen is projected onto the TV.
The character was female.
Seeing that, Airi says a single word: "Amazing."
I skillfully move the dual-sword-wielding character to defeat monsters.
Once I complete one quest, I stop the game.
"Are you stopping already?"
When Airi says that, I boot up my laptop.
"It'll be more fun if Airi does it too, right?"
At that, Airi boots up her own laptop.
We continued gaming until dinner, and after that, we took baths and watched TV.
I think I'm probably getting along with Airi normally now.
Should I call it a delicate happiness?
I was savoring it fully.
(2)
Old Karuizawa.
I wonder if this too is a coincidence?
"Hello."
"Hey."
"Hi."
"Hello."
The four people who bumped into each other greeted one another.
"..."
There seems to be bewilderment among them.
Looking at the clock, it's nearly noon.
"It's almost lunch, and standing around talking is a bit awkward, so why don't we go eat some soba?"
"Sakai-kun is right. There's a famous soba shop near here."
Takashina-senpai agrees with my suggestion.
The other two remain silent.
Are they still bothered by that matter?
Entering the soba shop, I order for four people.
Nishimatsu-kun and Akira-chan are still silent.
Akira-chan has a composed face, and Nishimatsu-kun is unusually quiet.
"Still, I didn't think we'd overlap right up until the day we leave~"
The one who broke the silence was Takashina-senpai.
"That's true~ and with so many people here, it's normally unthinkable, isn't it?"
I played along.
"...I'll speak first because this will make the meal taste bad. I didn't come all the way to Karuizawa just to experience this heavy atmosphere."
"Akira-chan, that matter is already settled."
I ask Akira-chan to hold back.
"Shimizu-san, was it? I'll also apologize for what Keisuke did. I'm sorry."
"...Don't misunderstand, I don't care what Nishimatsu did. The present is the problem."
Takashina-senpai and I look at Akira-chan.
"...In the first place, that match was my win, so why do I need to be angry? What I want to say is that Nishimatsu, moping and dragging it out forever, is acting unlike himself!"
So that's how Akira-chan interpreted it.
That's why she was acting as if she had triumphed.
"I'll let everything until now slide. So please stop getting so worked up about it."
Nishimatsu-kun bows his head deeply. Takashina-senpai also bows her head.
"That's why I told you to stop doing that..."
It seems the food has arrived.
"The soba will taste bad. Lift your heads and let's eat quickly."
When Akira-chan says that, the two of them silently eat the food.
The silence continues.
Having lunch in an awkward atmosphere only makes it more awkward.
Though I'm not normally that kind of character.
"Have you two been to Karuizawa many times?"
"Yes, well, about once a year."
"I'm envious, this is my first time in my life. Wow, it's a nice place."
"Is that so? There are sightseeing spots, so I recommend them."
"Heh, Akira-chan, have you been?"
"I have."
"I see. How about you, Nishimatsu-kun?"
"..."
Nishimatsu-kun remains silent. Did I step on a landmine?
"Since he decided to take women to Europe in the summer and Hawaii in the winter..."
Takashina-senpai explains.
Ah, it was a landmine. Sorry.
"Then why is it Karuizawa this year? You should have taken the person you actually love."
Akira-chan attacks relentlessly.
It's overkill, almost like shooting a corpse. Please stop.
However, surprisingly, a decent answer came back.
"With Miyuki, I haven't made many memories. Since we have to build them up from one, I thought we should start with domestic trips first."
"Now that you mention it, that's not right. It's because there was something built up, even if only a little, that you could feel that way at that time. Isn't that right?"
Takashina-senpai says to Nishimatsu-kun.
"Now that you put it that way, you're right."
"...I understand that you two are close. It's frustrating, but I can't beat Takashina-san's affection yet."
Did Akira-chan admit defeat?
"This kind of thing isn't about winning or losing."
"That's also true."
When Akira-chan says that, she and Takashina-san laugh together.
"Shimizu-san, you've been making memories with Sakai-senpai too, right?"
"Unfortunately, we've only been dating for a little over half a year."
"Was that so..."
"Yes, though I had been inviting him since before that. I wonder around when last year it was..."
Akira-chan was talking about how I and she got together.
Setting aside whether that was an invitation or a threat.
"That must have been tough,"
Takashina-san says.
I don't know if it was Akira-chan who had it tough or if it was me, but it's certain that it was tough.
After that, I listened to the stories of Takashina-san and Nishimatsu-kun.
Even if they were bitter memories for Nishimatsu-kun, they seemed important to Takashina-san.
She spoke as if remembering them now, and with nostalgia.
After talking, we left the shop and parted ways with the two of them.
"Both of them have changed, haven't they?"
"They have..."
"I wonder if we can become like that too?"
I didn't answer anything.
Those two probably have things they've built up over many years.
Even if Nishimatsu-kun didn't, they were precious memories for Takashina-san.
The time has finally come for Takashina-san to pull them out of the drawer.
Inside that drawer, there must be things accumulated over ten-some years.
There's no way to win against something like that.
Because by the time we build up that much, they will have accumulated even more.
Then what should we do?
The answer is simple. There's no need to compete.
Let's make our own path.
Let's level the ground from nothing and solidify the foundation.
Because there's no need to compare anywhere.
"There's no need to become like that. We just have to build something in our own way."
"Will you build it for me?"
"I'll do my best."
"I see."
Shall we go now? she says, pulling my hand.
We pushed through the crowd and headed toward our destination.
(3)
Recently, my chest hurts when I see Takemoto-kun.
Words I sent to Sashihara-senpai in a private message.
What do I think of Takemoto-kun?
Please stay my friend.
After saying that, he treated me kindly as before.
But I don't feel the same special emotions as before.
We could be just friends.
That's fine.
That should have been fine.
Then why does it hurt so much?
When I see him getting along with Hanayama-san, it becomes hard to breathe.
I can't immerse myself in painting like I used to.
"Did something happen recently? For example, with Takemoto?"
"Nothing happened!"
I was shouting that.
Shuji-chan was bewildered.
It can't be helped since I myself am bewildered.
And I was consulting Sashihara-senpai.
A reply came back.
Doesn't that mean you like Takemoto-kun?
I guess it comes to that?
But I feel like something is different.
The one I like is Shuji-chan. I'm not lying.
In fact, I feel at peace when I'm with Shuji-chan. I can show my most natural self.
It even affects my work.
When Shuji-chan is here, I'm in good form; when he's not, I can't draw something satisfying.
But I can't cause trouble for Shuji-chan.
Once I graduate from junior college, I'll spend my time quietly in the countryside.
I don't need wealth or fame.
As long as I have money to buy art supplies and a little living expense, it's fine.
But...
Shuji-chan might end up with someone else.
When I heard that, I was shaken.
I thought that's the one thing I can't stand.
I even thought about confessing, even if it was a lost cause.
But for some reason, I can't act.
I'm scared.
But I have to do it.
The trigger will be provided by the Watanabe group.
The rest is my courage.
Before that, the lump in my chest that I want to clear up.
That is the existence of Takemoto-kun.
I get shaken just by mentioning Takemoto-kun.
Even if Shuji-chan is no good, Takemoto-kun will stay my friend.
I can't deny that I had such a rude thought.
But Takemoto-kun has Hanayama-san.
I was shocked when I learned that fact.
Was it a lie when he said we were just friends?
Since then, my brush hasn't moved.
I can't draw as I want.
I am now in Shuji-chan's room.
I'm painting alone in the room.
What I'm drawing is a picture of fireworks.
A picture of the fireworks I saw at the sea.
The world woven by the fireworks we all saw and the night view.
The memories of that time revive.
The dream of that night I saw with Takemoto-kun.
Click
The door opens. Shuji-chan has returned.
"I did it, Umi, another gold prize."
Is that so.
That's great.
"And then, there's someone who wants to buy it because they want to display it in the hall of that art study... ah, is this a new work? It's beautiful. Something like 'Summer Memories'?"
It's surely "Summer Phantom"...
"Hm? What's wrong? Are you tired? Should you rest for today?"
I threw away my palette and brush and clung to Shuji-chan.
"I love Shuji-chan!! Not as a relative, but as a lover! I want to be with Shuji-chan! I don't want it if we're not together!"
Shuji-chan froze.
I said it. My heart is pounding.
Shuji-chan began to speak quietly.
"I'll stay with you even if you don't tell me..."
Shuji-chan hugs me back.
"Will you stay with me for the rest of your life?"
"...Yeah, of course."
This is fine, right?
I'm glad I could say it.
That's what I think.
I'm concerned about Takemoto-kun, but more than that, I'm happy that I could be with Shuji-chan.
The sorrowing sky still continues, but now I was blessed by the starry night sky.
(4)
"Toya-kun, Toya-kun, it's terrible!"
Airi, who was looking at her smartphone, is calling me as I return from the bath.
"What happened?"
"Tange-sensei and Kinoshita-san have become a couple!"
Eh?
Peeking at Airi's smartphone, Kinoshita-san is indeed reporting it happily.
I wonder if Takemoto-kun knows about this?
Even if he knows, it doesn't matter anymore.
Everyone is sending "Congratulations."
Airi sent one too.
"Airi, go take a bath first."
"Ah, okay~"
Shall I bring her some juice for once?
Heading to the kitchen refrigerator, I open the refrigerator and take two plastic bottles.
When I return to the room, a message from Takemoto-kun had arrived.
"It was clean and simple when I was dumped, but it's somehow frustrating now that she's found another man."
"I have to delete this message right now!"
"Eh?"
"Because it'll be a pain if Hanayama-san sees it!"
"...That's fine, I consulted her too."
"...Nothing happened?"
"It's fine, though I got poked a little."
That's how it would go.
However, I thought those two were the hardest hurdle, but it was surprisingly simple.
I'm underwhelmed.
Was there some advice during the trip?
Well, now only Niina-san is left.
That side looks like it'll be tough, though.
"Sorry to keep you waiting. Ah, you prepared juice."
Airi returned.
I take a sip of the juice.
"What should we do after this?"
Airi asks.
"Is there some program you want to see?"
"Uuu... an actress Toya-kun likes is appearing as a guest on today's program, you know?"
"I see."
"Is 'I see' all you have to say?"
Did she want some other reaction?
"Yeah, I wanted to see that program."
Blank
"You're reading that in a monotone. You're not that interested, are you?"
"I'm interested in movies and such, but talk shows and variety shows aren't really..."
"Toya-kun, you're not putting enough effort into expanding the conversation with me!"
"?"
"Don't you have things like 'Wow, this is interesting~' or 'This drama is a tear-jerker' or something like that?"
"I guess so."
What Airi says is perfectly reasonable. I turn on the TV.
Just as she said, Airi stares intently, laughs, and shows various expressions.
Just looking at Airi like that is enough to satisfy me.
Since games were permitted when Airi was present, I take out my handheld game console.
Airi shows no sign of noticing me at all.
The game I'm playing is a simulation.
There are no depictions of blood or anything, but it doesn't change the fact that it's a game where people kill people.
There are Classic Mode and Casual Mode. The Classic one is slightly higher in difficulty.
Even so, training is possible, so I progress through the stages while training.
The characteristic of this kind of game is that it takes time to clear one stage. And then you get absorbed.
Before I know it, Airi is peeking at the handheld game next to me.
"Want to try it too, Airi?"
"Just watching is fine."
Once I clear the stage, I save the data and turn off the game's power.
"Are you done already?"
"Is the TV finished for you, Airi?"
"Yeah."
"Then, shall we sleep soon?"
"Okay~"
Airi slides into the bed.
"Hey?"
"What is it?"
"Toya-kun, will you give me your life?"
"Of course, I'll give you all of it without leaving anything."
Please take it.
"Yes."
Was Airi satisfied with the answer? Today she falls asleep quietly.
When I pat Airi's head, she lets out a voice and clings to me.
I might be told I'm too sweet to her, but Airi herself has no choice but to notice and learn.
Though that's something I can say too.
I embrace Airi and fall asleep.
Bathing in the moonlight, I wish for a change in our state.
The autumn night has only just begun.