Chapter 24 - Suddenly
(1)
Piroriin.
My phone rang.
I picked up the phone and checked the time.
It was still 6 o'clock.
"Who's calling this early in the morning?"
I checked the message.
It was from Makoto.
"Sorry for the early morning, but I have something to talk about in the classroom before school. Is that okay?"
Something to talk about...
I remember being told the same thing three months ago.
"Sure, what time?"
"Morning practice ends around 8, so about then."
"Got it."
I'll have to leave a bit early.
I wonder what he wants to talk about?
For some reason, I have a bad feeling about this.
But I can't exactly not listen.
So today's the start of the second term.
Memories of summer vacation flash through my mind like a revolving lantern.
I don't have the leisure to be immersed in memories.
I fold up the futon and put it away in the closet.
I change into my uniform and leave the room.
Then I put bread in the toaster and flip the switch.
I put some instant coffee into a mug roughly and pour hot water over it.
Every movement is quiet, without making a sound.
Because Mother is still sleeping.
While eating breakfast alone in silence, I pick the right moment and send a message to Airi.
"I have to go a bit early today, so go to school by yourself."
Piroriin.
Airi's up early too.
Probably to wake up the sleepyhead Toya.
"Good morning, you're early! Did something happen?"
I operate my phone with one hand.
"Nothing really, I was just told to come to school a bit early."
"Got it. Well then, see you in the classroom."
After I finish eating, I wash the plate and mug, put them away, and head to the washroom.
No bedhead.
I quickly run a brush through my hair.
I wash my face, brush my teeth, and preparations are OK.
I go back to my room, stand in front of the vanity, and start putting on makeup.
Even if I call it makeup, it's just natural makeup for a middle school student.
The other day, Airi told me, "That's nice."
"They sell stuff like this at the 100 yen store."
We went to buy some together once.
When I finished getting ready, it was just before 7 o'clock.
I quietly opened the door and left the house alone.
(2)
"Good morning~! Toya-kun!"
"Good morning, Airi."
I was sitting on the bed.
"Huh? You were awake?"
"Well, yeah."
"If you were awake, you could have just come downstairs."
That's true.
"Well then, shall we go downstairs?"
"Yeah."
Saying that, I follow behind Airi as she leaves the room.
"Huh? Aren't you earlier than usual today?"
Even Mother is surprised.
"Isn't it okay for something like that to happen once in a while?"
"What an ominous start to the second term..."
Saying that, Mother puts breakfast in front of me.
Airi grins as she watches me eat it.
What's up with her?
Come to think of it, something feels different.
"...You don't notice?"
She sounds kind of dissatisfied.
"...Notice what?"
"Oh my? Airi-chan, is it okay for you to be wearing makeup? Wouldn't it be a big deal if a teacher caught you?"
"Since Kanna did it and didn't get caught, I thought it'd probably be fine? Toya-kun didn't notice either."
Her tone was a bit barbed.
"Our Toya is completely oblivious about that kind of thing, so you can't rely on him."
"...Is it really okay?"
"I only put on a little bit so it wouldn't stand out, so it's fine."
"I see. Thanks for the meal."
Feeling a somewhat cold stare on my back, I head to the washroom.
After finishing my preparations and returning to the living room, Kanna is... not here.
Huh?
"Ah, should we get going soon?"
"'Should we get going'? What about Kanna and them?"
"Kanna said she had to be early today, so she's skipping. Didn't you get a message?"
"I didn't, but did something happen that she had to go early?"
"'Early in the morning' probably means she's with Makoto-kun."
Airi says that with a laugh.
"With Makoto, huh..."
It's already been three months since they started going out.
They've even kissed, so they must be getting along well.
"Well then, I'm off."
Saying that, we leave the house.
Airi follows behind me.
"Hey?"
"What?"
Airi hits my back with her bag.
"That hurt!"
"Would it kill you to compliment me a little? Or does it not suit me?"
"It's not that it doesn't suit you, but..."
"But?"
"I like the natural Airi better."
Airi looks unconvinced.
"Come on, let's go."
Calling out to the dazed Airi, we head towards school.
(3)
"...Huh?"
For a moment, I thought I misheard.
The classroom windows were wide open.
I could hear the shouts of the club still doing morning practice.
Even though it's September, it's still hot.
Makoto had already changed into his uniform.
He smelled of deodorant.
"So I'm saying I want to break up."
Somehow, I had a feeling that was coming.
But I couldn't believe it.
"Why? Did I mess something up?"
It was kind of pathetic, but I asked, grasping at straws.
"...Kanna-san, you're not really looking at me, are you?"
Huh?
"I'm not as nice as Toya, so I'll say it plainly. I can't be Toya."
Why does Toya have to come into this?
"I think it's pretty obvious to anyone, not just me. You still like Toya, don't you, Kanna-san?"
"That's..."
"So you won't say it's not true."
I couldn't say it.
"At first, I thought I'd make you forget. But recently, I was made to realize it. You never saw me from the start. You were looking at Toya, who was beyond me."
"That's not true! I tried my best to like you!"
"Do you have to make an effort to like someone?"
Makoto's words stabbed into my heart, prickling.
"I don't want to beat around the bush, so I'll say it clearly. This is hard for me too. You should stop trying to get Toya's attention by dating someone else. It's hard for the person doing it, and it's even harder for the other person."
I was crying.
"I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way..."
"I'm the one who should be sorry. I couldn't live up to your expectations."
It wasn't Makoto's fault. It was mine.
Makoto handed me a handkerchief.
"Everyone else will be coming in soon. You should go to the washroom or something."
"It's okay. I'll pull myself together soon."
"I see. Yeah, you're right. Well then, I'll be going."
"Yeah. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologize. It was a short time, but I had fun. Thank you."
Saying that, Makoto left the classroom.
I staggered to my seat, slumped over the desk, and cried.
"Otonashi-san, are you okay!?"
Just as Makoto said, a classmate came in, found me sobbing, and called out to me.
"I'm okay. I'm just going to the restroom."
Saying that, I dashed to the washroom.
(4)
Today, after the opening ceremony, there was a brief explanation and a seat change, and then it was over.
What incredible luck.
The seating arrangement ended up with Airi and Kanna on either side of me.
Makoto was next to Kanna.
Speaking of Kanna, there was a bit of an incident this morning.
A girl in our class apparently saw Kanna crying.
She was surprised and called out to her, but Kanna ran off to the bathroom.
I asked Kanna about it, but she wouldn't answer me at all.
It was the same when Airi asked.
I tried asking Makoto, but he wouldn't answer anything either.
"Half-hearted kindness will only hurt Kanna, Toya."
He said only that and left.
Was it my fault?
That day's study session.
It was wrapped in a strangely heavy atmosphere.
And then, as if she couldn't bear the atmosphere anymore...
"...Sorry, I'm going home."
Saying that, Kanna stood up.
"Wait, Kanna!"
Kanna stopped.
"For now, sit down, Kanna. The study session is over for today."
"Then there's no point in me being here, is there?"
"Just talk to us already! We're friends, aren't we!"
"There are things you can't talk about even with friends, you know?"
"If you can't talk about it, does that mean we're the cause?"
"...If it's about this morning, then no."
"Then explain it to us! If we stay in this atmosphere, the study session will just stay awkward."
"Then I just won't come anymore!"
Kanna shouted.
"Why not!? We promised we'd go to the same high school, didn't we! I still want to go!"
"Can't you just forget that promise too?"
"No!! Absolutely not!"
Something in Kanna seemed to snap.
"Airi wouldn't understand anyway. What am I supposed to explain to you, who can get anything you want!? Do you understand my feelings, the things I can't get no matter how hard I struggle!?"
Airi seemed to get ticked off too.
"I don't understand. But you don't understand either, Kanna! Being burdened with excessive expectations! You said I can get anything I want, but do you understand my feelings, not being able to get the one thing that really matters!?"
"Both of you, calm down!"
"Toya, shut up!"
"Toya-kun, be quiet!!"
Sorry... wait, no.
"Don't get so heated. You won't solve anything like that."
"If you want to play at being such good friends so badly, then just do it by yourselves! Don't drag me into it!"
Slap!
A dry sound echoed through the room.
Airi, who had slapped Kanna, had tears welling up in her eyes.
"If I wanted to play at being good friends, I wouldn't say something like this! I'm angry like this because I wanted to have an honest talk! I'd do anything for you, Kanna!"
"...You just said you'd do anything, right?"
I heard Kanna's incredibly cold voice.
I've never heard a voice like this from her before.
"If it's something I can do..."
Airi flinched at her intensity.
"Then, lend me Toya for a bit. I have something I want to say to Toya."
"...Okay."
Airi agreed surprisingly easily.
"Well then, I'm going home for today... Toya-kun, see you tomorrow."
Saying that, Airi left the room.
"She gave in way too easily. That condescending attitude pisses me off."
"Kanna! That's not true! Airi is kind, so she thought if it would solve things..."
"It's because she thinks she's in a completely dominant position, isn't it?"
"...She was in the same boat as you, once."
"In the same boat as me?"
"She was bullied in elementary school, and I always helped her. Then she got teased about our relationship and got bullied again."
"...I've heard that story before."
"Well, did you hear the reason she was bullied?"
"No?"
"It's the same as you. Because she's cute. Because she's popular with boys. Just for that, she incurred the jealousy of other girls and got bullied. It's unreasonable, isn't it? Getting envied and bullied over guys you don't even like."
"..."
"It was the same from the boys. You know how they say you want to bully the girl you like the most? That's exactly what was happening to her."
"You sure know a lot, Toya..."
"Well, I've known her for two years."
Finally, Kanna seemed to have calmed down.
She took out her phone and did something with it.
"I sent a message to Airi. 'Sorry I went too far. Toya got mad at me.'"
Piroriin.
It must be from Airi.
"'I went too far too. I don't know what happened, but if you can solve it by talking to Toya, I'm fine with that. Tell Toya I said hi.'"
Piroriin.
This time, my phone rang.
"I think something must have happened with Makoto-kun. Make sure you comfort her properly."
Makoto, huh... Huh? There's a message from Makoto too.
"I'm sure Kanna-san is feeling down. Cover for me ><"
Don't give me that ><, you idiot.
"Well then, I'm going now."
"Hold on, didn't you have something to talk about?"
"I'll definitely come tomorrow."
"That's not what I meant..."
Didn't you tell Airi you had something to talk about?
"Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I did... Well then, walk me home."
"...? Isn't Makoto coming?"
"Makoto? ...Yeah, right?"
Kanna fiddled with her phone.
Then she showed me the screen.
It was Makoto's contact info.
Right in front of me, Kanna deleted Makoto's contact information.
"...You get it now, right? If you ask 'What?', I'll blast you."
I understood the situation. Though I'm not satisfied with it.
(5)
Kanna didn't say anything until we got to her place.
We arrived at her house.
"See ya..."
In the end, she didn't tell me anything.
As I trudged home, Kanna called out to me from behind.
"Wait up. I didn't say anything yet, did I? Come over to my place."
Kanna's house was a wooden apartment building.
It was a 3DK room.
Kanna invited me into her room and headed to the kitchen.
There was a wooden desk, a chest of drawers, and a vanity. And a bookshelf.
She set up the table that was leaning against the wall in the center of the room and brought out tea and some snacks.
"Well, make yourself at home. Though it's not really a relaxing topic."
Kanna said that with a wry smile.
She seemed a bit more composed than before.
"I'll be blunt. I got dumped by Makoto."
Kanna said that with an awkward laugh.
I had a faint suspicion about that from the phone incident earlier.
The problem is the reason.
"Why?"
Kanna silently pointed at me.
Me?
"Did I do something?"
Kanna shook her head.
"He said it's because I only ever look at Toya."
"Huh?"
"I couldn't deny it. I've been watching you getting along with Airi this whole time. I was competing, thinking I'd become like that too. I wanted to show off that I was the one who was more in love and happier. But all I felt was a sense of defeat."
"..."
"It was doomed from the start. The moment it wasn't Toya, I had already lost to Airi."
"Makoto also said this: 'You should stop trying to get Toya's attention by dating someone else. It's hard for the person doing it, and it's even harder for the other person.'"
"Kanna..."
"I did a really bad thing to Makoto, didn't I..."
Tears were welling up in Kanna's eyes.
"When I heard I could come back to my hometown, somewhere in my heart, I was hoping. I'd get to see Toya again. I'd confess to Toya when I saw him this time. And then you're dating Airi. I was in despair."
"..."
"I thought about giving up. But I can't. I wonder if it would have been better if it was Wada-senpai? But I think I'd just end up repeating the same thing."
Kanna's body was trembling.
"I can't take it anymore. I can't hold it in."
"Kanna...!?"
Suddenly, Kanna hugged me.
"I love you, Toya! I love you so much it's hopeless! I won't lose to Airi either!"
Saying that, Kanna burst into loud sobs.
I could only gently hold her.
"I'm sorry, Kanna."
"Hey? If I had confessed back in 4th grade, would things have been different? Would we still be lovers now?"
I couldn't find the words to say to the sobbing Kanna.
Suddenly, Kanna leaned over me.
And then, she pressed her lips against mine, catching me off guard.
And just like last time, she intertwined her tongue with mine.
"Mm..."
What surprised me was what came next.
Kanna started unbuttoning her own shirt.
I can't let this go any further!
I sat up with all my strength.
Kanna sat there, dumbfounded.
More than half the buttons on her shirt were undone.
What she was wearing underneath wasn't a tank top, but a bra.
I couldn't help but look away.
"So I'm no good after all?"
"That's not it. We're only 13."
I shouted with my eyes closed.
"It's okay. My parents won't be back until late at night..."
"That's not the kind of problem this is!"
"You're right... I'm sorry."
"I'm the one who should be sorry..."
"It's fine. This helped me sort out my feelings."
Saying that, she touched her phone.
"This is a declaration of war, you know!"
Saying that, she showed me her phone.
There was a message on it.
"I'm not going to lose to Airi."
"W-Wait a minute."
Too late.
Kanna sent it.
"I'm serious, you know."
"I get it, so button up your shirt."
I closed my eyes.
Noticing her own state, Kanna frantically buttoned her shirt.
"See ya."
"Take care."
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
"Yeah, I guess you will."
Saying that, Kanna let out a small smile.
I went home.
"I'm serious."
I didn't understand the meaning of those words.
Maybe I just didn't want to understand.
When I got home, Airi was standing at the entrance.
"What's wrong?"
"I got worried because you were late... and I got a weird message from Kanna... How did it go?"
"She broke up with Makoto."
"Huh!? No way!? Why!?"
"Beats me... A lot of things probably happened."
I kept the reason to myself.
"She said she'll definitely come tomorrow... What's wrong?"
I noticed Airi's gaze was directed downwards.
"N-Nothing. I see, she's coming tomorrow. That's good."
"Yeah. Well then, I'll walk you home."
"No, it's fine. It's just right there."
"Huh? Isn't that what we always do?"
"It's okay. Yeah, go home, get changed, and rest."
"Yeah, you're right."
"Well then, see you tomorrow, Toya-kun."
Saying that, Airi gave me a peck on the lips.
She turned around and ran home.
Something was strange.
I would find out the reason in the changing room.
There was... lipstick on my shirt!
Tomorrow is going to be tough.