Chapter 248 - The Light Above My Life (1)
"Alright, let's start the welcome party for the two new members and the send-off party for Toya—Cheers!"
When Watanabe-kun said that, everyone began to get excited.
At my table sat Airi, Mr. and Mrs. Watanabe, Haruto, and Shiratori-san.
"Man, I'm seriously crushed. I never thought I'd actually get fired from my part-time job,"
"...I'm sorry."
In contrast to Shiratori-san, who was depressed, Haruto was strangely cheerful, regardless of whether the content of his speech was something to laugh about.
As for the reason he was fired, Haruto was told it was because he was under twenty, but the real reason had been uncovered by Emi-san's investigation.
Apparently, Shiratori Holdings had become the largest shareholder of the izakaya chain company where Haruto had been working.
Pressure must have come from above.
The retaliatory measures will apparently be carried out after the long weekend.
That's why Emi-san says to forget about the part-time job and enjoy the holiday.
I heard Akira-san intends to join in on the retaliation as well.
I bet no one can ever defy those two.
"Well, Haruna, there's no need to be so down. You'll find a new part-time job in no time,"
"Shiratori! Cheer up! You should learn a bit from Haruto's brightness,"
Mika-san said.
"But, if I'm around, I might cause trouble for everyone,"
When Shiratori-san said that, I said, "That's true."
As a result, I was showered with criticism from everyone.
"So, what would you do if I told you Shiratori-san has to leave the Watanabe-han?"
"Eh?"
With the current Shiratori-san, that emotion could be read clearly.
"That's fine. If you wish to stay, then stay. The Watanabe-han will absolutely never abandon you."
"It's exactly as Toya says! There's no one that heartless in the Watanabe-han! Right, everyone?"
When Mika-san spoke, everyone cheered.
"But, the trouble I'd cause everyone..."
"The Watanabe-han is strong against that kind of pressure. There's no need to worry. It'll be resolved by next month."
"But wouldn't that make things dangerous for Shiratori-san's family? Is that okay?"
Kiritani-kun asked.
That's a fair point.
"No matter what happens to Shiratori-san's family, Haruto-kun will light up Shiratori-san's life. Right, Haruto-kun?"
When Airi said that, Haruto puffed out his chest and slapped it.
"Of course! When that time comes, it comes! I'll quit university and work!"
"Haruto-san, I haven't decided to date you yet."
"I won't give up!"
"I see."
It seems she retreated into her shell again.
But it's not as hard as before. A shell that would crack just by tapping it a little.
Rather, it looks as if she wants to be let out.
"Toya, you leave tomorrow, right?"
"I do, why?"
This time, it seems the main focus is just a meet-and-greet and an exhibition match rather than practice.
Even so, I'll fly to Tokyo on the first flight in the morning.
"You'll be okay, right? Give me a break with the lack of adjustment or injuries again. Your reports always start with something bad,"
Sa said.
"I've been saying it too. Wouldn't it be better to leave today?"
"Besides, what were you thinking having a drinking party the day before?"
I received warnings from Watanabe-kun and Sakura-san as well.
"You had classes today, right? That's why he said he'd leave first thing tomorrow morning,"
When Airi said that, everyone was convinced.
I'm finally meeting everyone. I wanted to attend.
"Who is the opponent this time?"
"They said Taiwan,"
I answered Makoto's question.
"I wonder if Taiwan will be okay? They won't start playing rough again, will they?"
When Emi-san spoke, Sakura-san answered.
"They aren't that kind of team. However, their center has reach and is incredibly huge, so the problem is whether the Japanese centers can hold their own."
"Toya. You'll be able to come to the training camp in the second half, right?"
"That's the plan. Sa and the others are coming too, right?"
"That's the plan, but..."
"I've heard the contents of the camp. Please don't be too rough with your seniors."
"I know. I can't take responsibility if someone gets injured,"
Sa, Sakura-san, and Emi-san said.
"Does everyone stay together at the camp?"
Haruto was quick to bite.
His eyes were sparkling.
It's not that great of a thing.
"We all stay together, but for the men, it's hell,"
When Sakai-kun said that, several of the men looked frightened.
Haruto didn't seem to understand.
Well, there are times when not knowing is a good thing.
(2)
On the way back, I returned in the shuttle car.
Hiyama-san was riding with me.
Because, due to our positions, Hiyama-san and I are still supposed to be dating, no one thought it was suspicious.
"How is it with Haruto? Is it going well?"
"I don't know. But..."
"But...?"
Hiyama-san asked back.
"...It's nothing."
I hesitated over whether this was something I should tell Hiyama-san.
But if I consulted the Watanabe-han, they'd find out anyway.
Maybe it's okay to just say it?
However, considering the driver was eavesdropping, it was hard to speak.
Did he notice that?
Hiyama-san operated his smartphone.
My smartphone rang.
"Are you still hesitating?"
I replied as well.
"I don't know the true nature of the emotion called love. All I've learned is that I'm afraid of losing him. That's all."
Hiyama-san chuckled.
"In truth, I'm just anxious about an invisible tomorrow. Every day, I act tough in front of Haruto."
Is he writing down my feelings?
"Even if it's a rusted blue sky now, someday it will overlap with the blue sky everyone sees—the dreams of everyone, in order to become happy and to become free."
Everyone's dreams? What is that? To become happy? To gain freedom?
"Isn't it about time you jumped out of your shell? Haruto will light up your life."
"Does that mean I should date Haruto-san?"
"You don't want to lose him, do you?"
When told that, I had no words to reply.
Is this frustrating feeling love?
"Am I in love right now?"
I sent that message to Hiyama-san.
"It's a misunderstanding. Would you be satisfied if I said that? Imagine if Haruto got another girlfriend."
I can't imagine such a thing.
Just thinking about it makes my chest tight.
"That's the answer. It's an emotion that has sprouted in your heart, however small."
We arrived at Hiyama-san's house.
"Well then, see you at the camp."
"Yes, see you."
I'll try consulting the girls during the camp.
When I got home, I took a shower and started the washing machine.
Things I've been thinking about since the incident with Father.
I'll become independent too.
Father might apply pressure, but I'll still work a part-time job.
If Father interferes, I'll have to become independent from him.
Something I want to protect enough to go that far.
Is the identity of that love?
While reading everyone's exchange while watching TV, the phone suddenly rang.
"Good work today."
"...What is it?"
"Nah, I just wanted to hear your voice before I went to sleep."
Such straightforward words make my heart tighten.
"Well, I've heard it now, so it's fine. Goodnight."
"Wah! Wait a second! I want to talk for a bit."
"...Fine. Just for a little bit."
"...About today's matter, you seriously don't have to worry about it."
I am not the kind of person who can be told "don't worry" and say "Ah, okay."
"Is that all you have to say?"
"No, I just thought you might be worrying."
"Of course I'm worrying. Please don't take rash actions. Father pulls various strings."
"You're worrying about me, aren't you?"
I'm worrying about Haruto-san.
I only realized it when he said it.
But I think that has nothing to do with love.
"I'll at least worry. I'm not such a heartless person."
That's a lie. I didn't have any emotions.
The Watanabe-han dragged them out.
But I've never thought about leaving the Watanabe-han.
Rather, I'm grateful to the Watanabe-han for dragging out a side of me that I didn't know.
"Even so, it's fine. I'm seriously happy."
There's probably no lie or falsehood in his words.
"Well then, see you tomorrow."
"Will you meet me again tomorrow?"
Do you want to see me that much?
Why do you want to see me so much?
"I don't have any particular plans."
"Then, let's go to the sea again tomorrow. I'll come pick you up around before noon this time."
"I understand."
"Well, if we talk too long it'll be a nuisance to Haruna, so I'll hang up."
"Wait!"
I called out to stop him.
"What is it?"
I hadn't thought about anything? I just threw out a simple question.
"Why are you so fixated on me? It's boring being with me, and I cause trouble."
"...Is there some problem with being fixated on the person I love?"
My heart wavers at the words that are too direct.
"I see."
My words were far too curt. I could have at least given words of gratitude.
"Well, goodnight."
"...Goodnight."
I was sending a message to the girls' group chat.
"Haruto-san invited me again tomorrow."
"Isn't that great?"
Mika-san said.
"What should I do?"
"Why not just go? What are you hesitating about?"
"I thought it might be bad to give him hope."
"If you think so, just refuse. It's that simple."
I should just end it.
My chest tightens at those words.
Why is it so painful?
"...What would you do if I said that?"
Kanna-san said.
"It's painful."
"Don't be afraid, Haruto will light up your life. Live recklessly. Haruto will protect you."
"Isn't it about time you jumped out of your shell? You're longing for a single light, aren't you?"
Tosaka-san said.
Longing.
Is this emotion called that?
Everyone is pushing me forward.
Even though the step ahead is darkness.
There's no point in staying shut inside a shell.
If he can light up that one lamp, I will walk along that path of light.
I'm sure he'll take me to a wonderful world.
(3)
Those who gathered for the second party were Mr. and Mrs. Watanabe, Mr. and Mrs. Nishimatsu, Mr. and Mrs. Kimoto, Mr. and Mrs. Sakai, Mr. and Mrs. Kiritani, Mr. and Mrs. Tada, and Emi.
We were talking at the usual snack bar.
"I wonder if that Haruto guy is okay?"
Mika-san is worried.
"He's fine, we'll storm Shiratori Holdings after the long weekend,"
Emi said with a smile on her face.
"Do you have an appointment?"
"Shinjo has arranged it. No problem."
"Won't four students just be turned away if they go?"
"Why would we do something so stupid? We've prepared properly,"
When I spoke, Emi answered.
"I'll leave that part to Sakai and Ishihara... By the way, I've heard the story from Kimoto-senpai and Nishimatsu for now, but what about the others?"
"Watanabe-kun, as for that story right now..."
Kimoto-senpai said to Watanabe-kun.
"It's better to talk about these things with both husband and wife. If you keep secrets, it just becomes troublesome again,"
Watanabe-kun said.
Then, led by Kimoto-senpai, the men began to confess their troubles one after another.
The contents differed, but to explain simply, they all had something in common.
"How should I deal with my wife's dissatisfaction?"
Certainly, those aren't words to say in front of one's wife.
I'm fine; I can never stand up to my wife anyway.
Sakai-kun seems to be the same.
"I think the best thing is to stay quiet and do as they say,"
Sakai-kun said.
"Sakai, that's wrong. You should also state your own assertions firmly. Only by clashing like that does the bond become stronger. You can tell by looking at Toya and the others, right?"
Watanabe-kun said.
"It doesn't change whether you're lovers or a married couple. The man just needs to support them firmly. Because the man isn't firm, the wife becomes anxious too,"
Kanna-san said.
"Isn't it simple? Come straight home at night. Help with the housework. Isn't it just that?"
"Kiritani-kun, you say that, but that's the hard part."
"Has no dissatisfaction come up at Kiritani-senpai's place?"
When Kiritani-kun spoke, Kimoto-senpai and Nishimatsu-kun said.
"I'm told all the time. I've gotten used to it."
"Don't get used to it, idiot!"
Kiritani-kun was hit on the head by Ai-san.
"I think I help Kanna as much as possible to remove Kanna's anxiety,"
Tada-kun seems to be doing well.
"Me too, I help with the housework. When Mika comes home, I tell her 'good work.' Just that makes a big difference,"
Watanabe-kun also seems to be doing well.
"How about Ishihara-kun's place?"
Sakai-kun asked.
"Same as Sakai-kun. I accept my wife's dissatisfaction. I resolve the things I can resolve myself. That's all it is."
In the end, the man just has to act. And not be shaken. Maybe it's something that simple.
"Shall we have a boys' night again? You all seem to have accumulated dissatisfaction. You want an outlet, right?"
If you say things like that, it'll just be a spark for another fight, Watanabe-kun.
Isn't that basically coming out and saying you're dissatisfied with your wife?
"That's why you get irritated, because you do things sneakily. If there's something you want to say, just say it,"
I think Kanna-san is right.
Watanabe-kun gave a strained smile.
"Kazu-san told me it's okay to vent my dissatisfaction. I intend to accept Kazu-san's dissatisfaction too. What are you dissatisfied with?"
Kana-san said.
"No, it's not exactly that I'm dissatisfied..."
Kimoto-senpai glossed over his words.
"Say it clearly! That's what's irritating!"
Kanna-san, haven't you drunk a bit too much?
"I'm just bewildered. I'm troubled because I don't know how to handle it now that Kana is venting her dissatisfaction,"
"Me too, I'm bewildered by Miyuki's dissatisfaction. Because it was the first time that happened,"
Kimoto-senpai and Nishimatsu-kun each spoke their minds.
Kanna-san said.
"Something like that isn't a big deal. Your wives are harboring even more dissatisfaction. At the same time, they're anxious. Show some broad-mindedness to accept that."
"It's exactly as Kanna says! Have that much broad-mindedness,"
Mika-san also said.
"I think everyone might be anxious about their new lives since it's April. But the examples are still Toya and the others. Despite everything, they're doing well,"
Watanabe-kun said.
"Those two have clashed with each other too," Kanna-san added.
"I think it's ultimately about broad-mindedness. I think one should accept the wife's complaints, dissatisfaction, and anxiety,"
When Watanabe-kun spoke, Tada-kun and the others nodded.
"If that makes the marriage harmonious, then isn't that fine?" Tada-kun said.
"Well, is this resolved then?" Watanabe-kun said.
The men nodded.
"Now, let's forget the unpleasant things and go wild! Mama, lend me the terminal,"
When Watanabe-kun spoke, Mama brought the terminal.
From there, it was karaoke time.
"Hey, Nozomi,"
Emi asked.
"What is it?"
"Do you have any dissatisfactions, Nozomi?"
"Not particularly?"
"Then it's fine."
"You don't have to worry about it; I just feel sorry for being so pathetic."
"You're not pathetic! Nozomi, you're doing great. Have confidence."
"Thank you."
Emi drank her drink and ordered a refill.
I ordered one too.
That night, everyone got excited with karaoke.
Forgetting all the unpleasant things, we were hyped until morning.
And as the morning sun shone, I returned by taxi.
Holding her, who slept in my arms.
Let's gather again if something happens.
Let's confess our dissatisfactions and anxieties.
If we all think about it, a solution will surely come out.
And once it's resolved, let's make a fuss and forget about it.
Because that's how a new day begins.
(4)
Toya-kun is packing his luggage in a carry-bag and checking it.
Tomorrow morning is early. He was asleep by 22:00.
I'm fiddling with my smartphone while watching TV.
It seems there was movement within the Watanabe-han.
It was mostly about Shiratori-san.
Hasn't Shiratori-san's heart already fallen into love?
But Toya-kun says.
"You mustn't tell Shiratori-san yet,"
I tried asking the reason.
"If you tell her now, she'll create a shell again. You mustn't tell her until she comes out of the shell on her own and notices the identity of that light herself," Toya-kun taught me.
Toya-kun sees through everything, doesn't he.
But a message arrived in the girls' chat.
"Is this an emotion called longing? Or is it..."
It seems the person herself has already noticed.
How should I answer?
How would Toya-kun answer?
Saki-san answered for her.
"That's not something you notice because someone else tells you. It's something you only learn after agonizing over it yourself,"
"So that's how it is,"
Shiratori-san said.
Doesn't that mean she's already noticed on her own?
I heard she was invited again tomorrow.
Shiratori-san apparently accepted.
She was asked what kind of CD she should bring.
Everyone is racking their brains.
"Wouldn't something you like be fine?"
"I don't know what I like," Shiratori-san said.
I tried choosing some J-POP songs randomly.
She said she doesn't have those CDs.
"Nowadays you can connect your smartphone to the car stereo, so you should just download them," I taught her.
"By the way, what kind of things does Haruto-kun listen to?"
"He said it's called hip-hop. Anyway, it's just noisy," she said.
I see, I see.
I was laughing.
Around the time it passed 23:00.
I was playing a game.
The fighter jet one that Toya-kun played.
I can't even clear the tutorial properly.
Yeah, it's impossible for me.
I think I'll go to sleep soon.
I turn off the TV, lower the lights, and get into bed.
From tomorrow, Toya-kun will go to Tokyo again.
It's only three days, but I'll be lonely.
But tomorrow, I'll keep smiling as always.
So that I can move forward without fear of living with all my might or challenging things with all my strength, I'll send Toya-kun off with a smile.
That's the most I can do.
So that I can light up Toya-kun's life.