Chapter 335 - Still, My Heart Trembles with Hope
(1)
"Good morning, Toya-kun, it's morning!"
I wake up to Airi's voice.
"You're awake! Then let's get dressed!"
Airi is energetic today as well.After getting dressed, I finish my daily routine.After finishing my daily routine, I take a shower and eat breakfast.After that, I make coffee and return to my room.Airi comes back.After drying her hair, she drinks coffee next to me.I can't afford to be leisurely.After finishing her coffee, Airi bustles about, taking her mug to the kitchen.Then she returns to the room and starts her makeup.Meanwhile, I spend my time watching TV.
"I'm ready~"
When Airi says that, I turn off the TV and we leave the house.When I arrive at school, I head to the gymnasium.Everyone is doing their own practice today as well.
"Katagiri-senpai, you're on a different menu starting today."
Sakura-san hands me a memo.The menu is lighter than usual.Probably because there's a match scheduled for next weekend.Once the weekend match is over, the spring tournament starts the following week.It's a packed schedule.I get through the practice.After practice ends, I change clothes and look around at the job listings.After attending the second period, everyone gathers in the cafeteria.
"Katagiri-kun, it's finally happening."
Ishihara-kun says.
"Yeah, that's right."
I'm already getting nervous.
"You've already got your safety schools sorted, so just take it easy and go for it."
Emi-san says.
"For Toya's case, I think the Olympics are tougher than the job interviews, though."
Kanna says.If I don't win a gold medal at the Olympics, my job hunting will have been in vain.I'm fully aware of that.Have my instincts dulled after not playing in a match for so long?I have that anxiety too.There's something that's changed.It's about Kitamura-san and Kuribayashi-kun.
"Kitamura-san, you're always in denim. Do you like denim?"
"I just don't like skirts."
"Kitamura-san, what kind of TV do you watch?"
"Things like crime dramas, I suppose. Why are you asking that?"
"If it's that drama, they're doing a movie of it soon, right? If you're free, want to go together?"
"I don't recall ever dating you."
"Even just as friends..."
"Movies are expensive, so I'll wait for the DVD to come out and rent it."
Kitamura-san gave him no opening, but even so, her conversations with Kuribayashi-kun increased.And she didn't seem to show any aversion to it.This might be a possibility.
"I'll be going now. It's time."
Saying that, Kitamura-san stands up.
"Should we get going soon too?"
When Watanabe-kun says that, everyone starts to move.After attending the fourth period, we also go home.Then I change clothes and prepare for the interview.
"Good luck!"
Airi encourages me while fixing my tie.
"I'll be at Aoi Tori again."
"Got it."
Saying that, I went to the company for the interview.
(2)
I'm the only one having an interview today.It's a privately-run tax accountant office.There's a small building standing there.When I go inside, everyone looks busy working.What should I do?I try calling out to a woman carrying teacups.
"Um, excuse me..."
That woman looks at me with a blank expression.She doesn't say anything.
"I'm Katagiri, I'm supposed to have an interview today..."
She doesn't say anything.Is she confused?What is she confused about?And besides, I feel like I've seen that face somewhere before.Have I met her somewhere?
"What do you want with Natsumi?"
One male employee comes over.
"No, I'm Katagiri, I'm supposed to have an interview today."
"Oh, I see. Hold on a sec. Director, the interview candidate is here!"
"Ah, show them to the reception room."
"This way, please!"
The male employee smiles and guides me.
"Natsumi, prepare some tea for them!"
When the male employee says that, Natsumi-san seems to head towards the pantry.The male employee leaves, and instead, a person who seems to be the Director comes in.I stand up and bow.
"Ah, no need for formalities, sit down."
Told that, I sit on the sofa.
"Well, first, can I see your resume?"
Told that, I hand over the envelope containing my resume.The Director takes the resume out of the envelope, looks at the name field, and then looks at my face.
"Wait, are you the real Katagiri Toya-kun?"
"That's right, yes."
The Director leaves the reception room and calls out to everyone.
"Everyone! The real Katagiri Toya is here!"
When the Director says that, all the employees crowd into the reception room.
"Whoa! He looks just like he does on TV. Awesome!"
"Hey, can I get an autograph or something!?"
Saying that, it turns into a bit of an autograph session.
"I'm Uehara Tatsuhiko. Could you write it 'To Tatsuhiko-san'?"
It's the male employee from before. I write it as he asked.Natsumi-san brings the tea.
"Natsumi, you should get an autograph too! You were a huge fan, right? Ah, this is Uehara Natsumi. My wife! Could you put 'To Natsumi-san' or something?"
I write it as he asked.Natsumi, huh... I feel like I've heard that name somewhere...After I write the autograph for Natsumi-san, she bows her head and leaves.
"Ah, don't mind her. She had some stuff happen in the past and can't talk anymore."
Listening to Uehara-san's words, I felt a question about Natsumi-san.Do I know Natsumi-san?Natsumi-san seems to know me...It doesn't seem like she's just a basketball fan.
"Ah, sorry about that. Everyone's a fan of yours. There are a lot of people in our company who like basketball. Though they're just spectators. But we've even made a team with the employees."
Is that so.
"So, it was an interview, right? Well then, everyone, get back to work!"
When the Director says that, everyone goes back to work.The Director briefly glances over my resume and starts talking.
"What's your reason for wanting to work at our company?"
I state my reasons for applying.
"You could make a living playing basketball, right? Why would you deliberately come to a small workplace like ours?"
I tell him I plan to retire from basketball. After winning a gold medal at the Olympics.
"That's aiming high! That's cool, kid!"
That voice seems to echo outside the reception room too. Everyone is listening.
"But it'd be a waste to quit basketball. How about playing basketball here? For you, corporate basketball must be like a hobby, right? I'm not saying you have to do it seriously."
"Everyone just enjoys it as a hobby, after all." The Director adds with a laugh.
"Your qualifications are no problem either. The first three months are as a trainee, so you can get them during that time. What, with your grades, you'll get them in no time. And still, it's impressive how you managed to get this many qualifications while playing basketball."
"Thank you very much."
"A motivated young person like you is more than welcome! I'd like you to start working from tomorrow."
"Y-yes..."
"You can start in April, right!? With your record, graduation should be no problem!? What, even if you can't graduate, you can just drop out and come work here!"
Something feels a bit off, but is this okay?
"By all means, win the gold medal! It's the long-cherished wish of the Japanese national team!!"
The Director says that and offers a handshake, and I accept.
"Well, thank you for coming today. I'm looking forward to next year."
"Um... is this really okay? My reasons for applying and everything..."
"You want to work here, right? Then there's no problem. A motivated person is more than welcome. Ah, are you worried about the salary? It's about this much."
"Ah, that's not what I meant..."
"Well then, no problem at all! I'm counting on you!"
"Yes."
Saying that, I left the office, seen off by the employees.It felt stupid to have been so nervous about the interview.
(3)
Clink clank.
When I open the door, Akira-san and Airi are talking.Airi notices me and replies, "Welcome back~"
"How did it go?"
"Yeah, I think it went well..."
I explain the contents of the interview to Airi.
"That's great!"
"Congratulations, it's practically decided already!"
"They let a valuable person slip away."
Airi, Akira-san, and Emi-san give me their congratulations.Kuribayashi-kun is talking with Kitamura-san.I think for a moment...I'm still curious. I try asking Emi-san for a favor.
"Emi-san, there's something I'd like to ask you."
"What's up?"
"Could you look into a person named Uehara Natsumi?"
"Who's that?"
Airi's voice is scary.
"I'm just a bit curious..."
"Hey, Katagiri-kun, are you declaring you'll cheat right in front of Airi-chan?"
"It's not like that, I'm just a bit curious."
"Uu... Toya-kun shouldn't be paying attention to other women!"
"It's fine, she seems to be married."
"Don't tell me Katagiri-kun is going to have an affair!?"
Why does it have to turn out like that?
"It's not like that, please."
Perhaps sensing my unusual seriousness, Emi-san agreed.
"She's a normal person, right?"
"Yeah, she's an office lady at the place I interviewed."
"Got it. I'll report it at the girls' night this weekend. I'll give it to Airi-chan, right? If it's not an affair, there's no problem, right?"
"Yeah, I think it's fine."
"Understood. Leave it to me."
Emi-san agreed.I hope it's nothing.
"Well, I'll be heading home now."
Kuribayashi-kun stands up.Kitamura-san sees him off with a smile.Huh, so she can smile now.I guess she's gotten over it inside?It felt like all that was left was for someone to give her a push.As I watch her with that thought, her face returns to its usual unmotivated expression.Sakai-kun is instructing her.To smile at least in front of customers.
"You don't have to worry about it."
I say.The one who brings a smile to her face is Kuribayashi-kun's role, not ours in the Watanabe group.
"You're always using your business smile, right? Let's let her relax when there aren't other customers around."
"Well, I suppose so."
When I say that, Sakai-kun says that and silently returns to work.
"She was talking with Kuribayashi-kun the whole time, you know. Kitamura-san."
Airi whispers softly.Is it just a matter of time? I had that feeling.
(4)
"Well, I'll be lurking nearby."
"Yeah, I'll contact you when it's over."
"Don't drink too much."
Saying that, Makoto drove off in his car.Tonight's banquet was held at a creative dining restaurant in Funaimachi.Today is a girls' night out, no men allowed.
"Well then, there are no guys here today, so let's speak our true feelings!"
"Ooh!"
When Mika says that, the party begins.Everyone forms their own groups and splits up by table to talk.At my table were Airi, Mika, Ai, Emi, and Akira.Everyone except Airi is married.Though Airi is practically married too.
"Toya's really struggling in vain, isn't he? He should just accept reality already."
When I say that, everyone nods.
"I'm listening to it as Toya-kun's last selfish wish. But I won't forgive any cheating."
Airi says that and laughs.
"How about everyone else? Is married life fun?"
"Well, it's not bad, I guess."
When I say that, everyone agrees.
"It's not bad. There are complaints, though."
Emi says.
"Yeah, there are complaints. It's not bad, but..."
Akira also says.
"Complaints?"
When Airi asks, Ai questions Airi.
"Honestly, Airi, how about you? Does Airi get attention from Katagiri-kun?"
"He's busy with club activities right now... so I've given up, thinking it can't be helped."
"That's it, that's it! He's busy with his part-time job, he says he's tired from his part-time job, and he doesn't pay me any attention at all."
"And he never takes me anywhere on his days off either."
"My idiot husband asked me to help him with a game on his precious day off! What does he think I am!? I want to say."
Everyone seems to have similar complaints.
"How about you, Kanna? Do you have any complaints about Makoto-kun?"
Airi turns the conversation to me.
"For me, it's just his bad habits. He's lost all restraint since we got married. He seemed to have stopped running during the last training camp, though."
Is it still better that I get some attention? But I'm not Makoto's toy either!
"Airi, you should keep him in check while you can. That's definitely the pattern where he'll say he's busy with work in the future!"
"Yesss. If it's that kind of talk, let me join in too!"
Kana and Saki join in.
"My husband seems to have gotten into learning his job and started doing overtime voluntarily. And on days without overtime, it's basketball."
"My Yuma is the same. He's immersed in his part-time job and doesn't pay me any attention at all. He's the type who wouldn't notice for the rest of his life unless I said something."
He was more considerate before we got married. After marriage, he doesn't even invite me on dates anymore.She said she's worried about whether he'll help with childcare if she has a child in the future.
"Tosaka-san, come over here. This isn't really a story to tell a woman who dreams of marriage before getting married, you know."
Satomi-san says that and calls Airi over.What are they going to talk about?At Satomi-san's table are Miyuki-san, Mirai, and Umi.The four of them are married.Do the four of them have no complaints?
"Don't the four of you have any complaints?"
I ask the four of them.
"I have my husband control my work. I can't stop once I get immersed," says Satomi-san."We had a fight once, but he's been considerate ever since. Sure, I have complaints sometimes, but he listens silently," says Miyuki-san."He feels like a good partner who balances work and life," says Mirai."I can paint with peace of mind because Shuji-chan is there for me," says Umi.
I see.
"Wouldn't it be good to try talking things over first before doing anything? If you can vent and resolve it in a place like this, I think that's fine too," Satomi-san says.
"Talk things over first before doing anything... huh? That's true," Saki says.
"Alright! Today, let's housewives just spill our grievances!"
"Yeah!"
When Ai and Mika say that, everyone shares their complaints and gets lively.They're small complaints, but everyone has them.They're venting them.Let's forget about it for tonight by drinking and making noise.But really, no one can forget.That they are all thinking of each other.Even while doing this, what is my own husband doing alone?I wonder if he's eating properly?That thought lingers in the corner of my mind.No matter how unpleasant things get.Still, my heart trembles with hope.I want more than this.I sing, seeking unchanging love.I advance on a path I can't turn back from.The time for last order came.They're recruiting members to go to the second party.I decided to go.Airi is calling Toya.She seems to intend to go home.
"Oh, Airi-chan, wait..."
Seeing Airi like that, Emi calls out to her.
"What's up, Emi?"
"It's about the thing Katagiri-kun asked me about the other day."
"Yeah."
"I wasn't sure if it was really okay to give it to Airi-chan, but Toya-kun said it was fine, so I'll hand it over."
Saying that, she hands a manila envelope to Airi.
"Who was it?"
"Uehara Natsumi... She's married now and changed her surname. Her maiden name is Murakami... She was a classmate of Katagiri-kun in their first year of middle school."
"!?"
Airi's demeanor is strange. Who is this Murakami Natsumi girl?Emi notices Airi's strange demeanor. She seems to know the reason too.
"As I thought, it was the right decision to give it to Airi-chan."
"Yeah... thank you. About this, to the others..."
"I understand. I'll keep it a secret."
"You can't do that! No secrets!"
Mika says.
"Sorry, I can't say anything this time. I absolutely can't say anything until Toya-kun says it's okay."
Airi's resolve seems firm.I calm Mika down.
"Let's respect Airi's decision this time. The time will come when you can talk about it, right? Airi?"
"I don't know..."
"I see."
"We all decided no secrets! Let's open our hearts and talk!"
"Mika! I'll explain the situation. I don't know if I can convince you, though."
"If Kanna goes that far, I guess it can't be helped."
Mika seems to have accepted it.
"Well then, those going to the second party, let's go!"
Saying that, we went to the second party.The second party was at a karaoke place.
"Well then, let's hear the story? The talk comes after that!"
Mika says.
"The truth is, I don't know anything either. About his time in first year of middle school."
I confessed.
"What, you don't know either!"
"Yeah, no one knows. Probably the only ones who know in the Watanabe group are Airi and Makoto."
"Haven't you heard anything from Makoto?"
"I asked, but he skillfully dodged the question. No one tries to talk about his first year of middle school."
"Did he get into a lot of trouble or something?"
"I don't think it's that."
There's just something he can't talk about. That much is certain.
"Toya himself has sealed it off. Sensing that, no one tries to talk about it. I think he had a pretty serious past."
"Kanna-chan is right."
"Come to think of it, Emi said you knew, right? Won't you tell us?"
Mika asked Emi, but Emi shook her head.
"Sorry, but I can't tell anyone this. It's Katagiri-kun's own problem."
"So Toya did do something after all?"
"I don't know that much. But it's certain that he ruined one person's life."
Ruined one person's life?What did he do!? That guy.
"I don't think it's good to pry too much into someone's past. I wouldn't like it if my past was dug up either."
Saki says.
"I haven't exactly lived a life I can be proud of either~"
Sakura also says.
"It's fine! Let's just wait for him to tell us himself eventually!"
Ai says. That's true too.
"Well then, let's get hyped up! Who's the first batter!?"
"Can I go!"
Surprisingly, it was Misato who volunteered.
(5)
"Who's the first batter!?"
"Can I go?"
I raised my hand.Partly because I like karaoke.
"Oh, that's unexpected! Go for it, get us pumped up!"
The terminal is handed to me.I already knew the song I wanted to sing.
A sign from you to me.
Naturally, I sang that song.I'm not particularly good at singing, even if I do say so myself.But everyone listened seriously.I wonder why?I should be having fun singing.Why are tears coming out?When the song ends, Kanna-senpai sits next to me.She hands me a handkerchief.I use the handkerchief I prepared myself.
"For Misato to choose a song like this... Have you noticed? Kuribayashi's sign."
"After being told that clearly, I notice it whether I want to or not."
"So, how do you feel about it?"
How do I feel about it?Kanna-senpai asks.
"I'm not interested."
I tried to brush it off with that one line.Kanna-senpai speaks quietly.
"Have you ever imagined yourself being rejected?"
I imagine it all the time. That's why I hate love.
"Don't you think someone is always waiting for you?"
No one is waiting for me. That's what I think.
"I was the same as you. I had no confidence in myself, and I kept putting it off, thinking I'd say it someday, I'd say it someday."
Kanna-senpai started talking. It wasn't just the alcohol talking.
"I've been in love three times in my life, and twice it was too late."
Kanna-senpai had her heart broken? I can't believe it, she's so beautiful.
"The first time, a friend beat me to it, and the second time, my best friend stole him away... So the third time, I was panicking inside, thinking it was bad. I couldn't bring myself to say it for a long time. I was hung up on my past loves. Even so, the one who waited for me is my current husband."
She means Tada-senpai.
"Listen, it's not a once-in-a-lifetime thing, but chances won't wait forever. If you don't seize that moment, it becomes something you'll never have in your life. That's love."
Does that mean a chance is falling into my lap right now?
"Don't let it get away! It's not something that comes over and over again. Even if you fail, there will be a next time! But the present moment will never come back. Don't be afraid of failure!"
I'm being persuaded by Kanna-senpai.Am I about to let a lifelong treasure slip away?
"I said it, didn't I? That knowing love changes the world. Isn't it because you're about to step into that world that you're hesitating now?"
Emi-senpai says.
"Everyone is scared at first. Because they realize their own weakness. It's only when you expose your own weakness that you first realize things. That's why you seek others. The feelings you've harbored are natural."
Shiratori-senpai says.
"I understand. Next time I see him..."
"You don't get it at all! Humans don't know what will happen tomorrow! When are you going to do it!? Now, right!?"
Mika-senpai says.But I don't know his phone number.
"Why not use a messaging call?"
Emi-senpai says.I make a messaging call to him.My finger tapping the screen trembles.The ringing tone sounds.I hear his voice.
"Hello, Misato-san?"
"Yes, um, what are you doing now?"
"Just watching TV at home. What's up, all of a sudden? I never thought I'd get a call from Misato-san..."
"I'm at the karaoke place in Chuomachi. If it's okay, could you come pick me up?"
"Ah, I see... Sure. What time should I be there?"
I looked at everyone's faces.
"Well then, shall we call it a night a bit early today?"
"Ooh!"
Everyone agreed.
"Will you be okay from here?"
"Got it, wait a bit."
The call ended.After that, we all left the store.Everyone is calling for someone to pick them up.Asakura-san went home by bus.He came by car.I get into the car, seen off by everyone.A message arrives.
"So, should I go to your place?"
"Yes, please."
I tell him my address, and he drives the car.
"Just stay like that and listen to me."
"Sure, what's wrong? So sudden."
"Uncharming, unsociable, clumsy..."
"Your good points are that you're serious, straightforward, and honest. You should stop putting yourself down."
Please, just listen to me until the end.
"...I'm a woman who thoroughly disgusts even herself, but does someone like me even have the right to fall in love?"
"Of course you do! ...Did you fall in love with someone?"
I nodded.
"He's a serious, handsome, upright person who feels justice, and I don't understand why he would like someone like me."
But still, touched by that person's kindness, learning of his subtle weakness, I thought for the first time that I wanted to depend on someone.Because no one is that strong, it's the soul that cares for the person next to you...
"I like you. I've come to like you. Please go out with me."
There's no reaction from him.Without any reaction, he stops the car in front of my apartment.Silence flows.Ah, it was too late after all.Strangely, no tears came.So this is what it feels like to be rejected.But I'll be proud of myself for moving forward even one step.
"Thank you very much. ...Get some rest."
As I open the door and try to get out of the car, he pulls my arm and pulls me close.I am now in his arms.
"You did well. You should be proud of yourself."
"Yes, thank you."
It's unfair to be kind even after rejecting me.
"I'm not as strong as you think either. In fact, I'm at a loss right now, not knowing how to deal with you in front of me."
I silently listened to his voice.
"Thank you... for choosing me. My feelings haven't changed."
Why is it that when I'm sad, tears don't come, but when I'm happy, I can't stop crying?
"Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you too."
How does the scenery of this town look in Kuribayashi-san's eyes? How do I see it?Your kindness sounded like sarcasm. I didn't know what to do.Remembering only the good things, I feel strangely aged.Still, I'll probably become one of the gears starting to turn in this life.If time would wash everything away, living would be truly easy.I've never cried from happiness before. From now on, I'll probably laugh for real more often.Groaning with a dull sound under the excessive burden, still my heart trembles for tomorrow.I try to imagine, "What will happen?"
Partings increase as much as encounters. Still, my heart trembles with hope.There's no turning back now.So let's advance on the path with you...And so, we finally stood at the starting line.I don't know what kind of course awaits us, but let's overcome it together.It was a night we vowed that.
(6)
After seeing off Kitamura and Kuribayashi, everyone decided to disband.After all, no matter how much you pile up complaints, there's only one partner for you.Everyone is probably worried about their own partner.
"That idiot is probably messing up the room again. He probably hasn't done the dishes either."
Ai mutters.My Makoto is probably similar.He's probably left some weird thing in the DVD player again.
"Ishihara-kun and the others seem reliable, don't they."
Ai says that.
"Yeah, Nozomi is thoughtful and handles some housework. He's a versatile house-husband."
"Zen-kun is the same. It worked out well when I practiced the educational method Emi talked about."
What kind of education did she give him?
"My husband is the same... He does everything competently, but..."
When Saki says that, she, Akira, and Emi look at each other.
"As I thought..."
"I don't know if it's kindness or fear..."
"The fact that he does nothing is a complaint in itself, I suppose."
The three say.As I thought, there's no such thing as a universally capable person.I hear the sound of a horn.Makoto's car has arrived.
"Well, I'll be off then."
"See you."
"Next time is Toya's encouragement party!"
"Yeah."
When I get into Makoto's car, Makoto starts driving.
"How was it?"
"Well, it's a women-only secret."
"Were you worrying about me again?"
Does even Makoto get anxious?
"Yeah, I am anxious..."
"Did I mess up again!? What was wrong?"
For now, just look ahead and drive.
"The fact that you do nothing makes me anxious."
"Is that so? Then maybe tonight..."
"Sorry, I have a part-time job tomorrow."
"I see... Did you get that job at the cosmetics counter at the department store we talked about the other day?"
"I wonder? I just had the interview the other day."
"I see..."
"How about you? Do you think you can go pro?"
"Yeah, it looks like a local team might pick me up."
"Then there will be days we can't see each other."
"Let me be spoiled when I get home."
That's my line.Speaking of which, I remembered the earlier conversation.
"Hey, Makoto. Do you know Murakami Natsumi?"
"Wh-why that name!?"
"Makoto, the signal!!"
Makoto slams on the brakes.
"S-sorry."
"...You do know her, don't you?"
"I know her. But I can't say."
"Airi and Emi both said that. I only know it's related to Toya."
"What is Natsumi-san doing now?"
"Yeah, she seems to be working as an office lady at the place Toya interviewed. He said she's married too. He said her current surname is Uehara."
"She got married, huh. That's good... So she didn't end up with trauma or anything."
"...So Toya did do something after all?"
"Why do you think that?"
"Neither Airi nor you will tell me anything about his first year of middle school. Emi, who knows the situation, won't tell me anything either. It's normal to think he did something, right?"
"...That was an accident. It wasn't Toya's fault."
"So it was caused by Toya."
"That might be so. ...Does Toya know about it too?"
"Airi is supposed to talk to him today."
"I see... That's what they call a cruel twist of fate."
Makoto fell silent after that.
"No one thought it would turn out like that."
So I want you to trust Toya.The one who regrets it the most is probably Toya.He left it at that.
(7)
When I went to pick up Airi, she had an expression so awkward it was hard to believe she had just been partying.
"Airi, how was the girls' night?"
I asked Airi.
"It was fun~"
It seems most of the married group, including Kanna, had been venting their complaints and dissatisfaction with their husbands.Is that why Airi looks disappointed?
"Did your desire to get married fade?"
"Not at all~"
Then, what Satomi-san told her.
"Everyone vents their stress like that, but they're experiencing happiness many times over. In various forms. That's why it continues. Tosaka-san, don't forget when you get married. Don't forget the feelings you had when you got married and the happiness that follows. If you do, you can overcome any hardship."
What Miyuki-san told her.
"Everyone is just buried in hardship and has forgotten their happiness. If you asked them, 'Then would you swap with someone else?' they'd absolutely never change. They probably have a desire to be paid attention to, though."
Airi talks happily.I see.
"Then why do you have such a difficult expression, Airi?"
"Huh?..."
I glance at Airi. She's holding a manila envelope.Airi, noticing my eyes, hides it.
"What's that?"
"Uu, uu..."
Airi is troubled.I pat Airi's head.
"I'll listen to you slowly after we get home."
"Yeah..."
There's hesitation in Airi's heart.What's wrong?When we get home, Airi takes a bath.I could look at the contents now.But I feel like I shouldn't.It's something I shouldn't do...But it feels like something I shouldn't touch.I obediently wait for Airi to return from the bath and dry her hair.After finishing everything, Airi sits formally in seiza across the table.After taking a breath, Airi utters the name of one person.
"Murakami Natsumi."
I was shaken.
"It's Uehara Natsumi-san's maiden name, apparently."
"So that's how it was."
In a way, I had a feeling.Because I felt like I had met her somewhere.
"I haven't looked at the contents of the file. Let's look together."
"...Yeah."
I look at the file together with Airi.There were two pieces of paper inside.It contained her career history, etc.It seems she graduated from a correspondence high school and then got a job at the current tax accountant office, which was hiring for clerical positions.Her unknown life after that was written.She got married two years ago.It seems it was a workplace romance.On the second piece of paper was her past that I didn't know.It seems she had a disease called selective mutism.No wonder she couldn't talk that much.It worsened from a certain period in her first year of middle school. She couldn't talk at all and transferred schools.A certain period...
"This guy likes you, you know~"
A flashback occurs.
"Toya-kun, get a grip!"
Airi shakes me by both shoulders.
"Ah, sorry."
"It's okay, I'm right here with you!"
"Thank you."
I stand up smoothly and take out a photo album.It's the middle school graduation album. There was only one photo of her in it.A photo from a field trip at the beginning of the first year.Whether it's a cruel twist of fate, it's a two-shot photo of me and Natsumi-san.It was torn to shreds and then taped back together.It was something I secretly collected and repaired after I tore it up and threw it away.I hand it to Airi.Airi silently looks at the letter.On the front, it says "To Katagiri Toya-kun."Airi looks at the contents.
"I like you. Please go out with me."
Airi says nothing.
"I never thought it would turn out like this. I was going to turn her down because I had Airi. But then..."
A series of unfortunate accidents piled up.Myself bound by the label of an inferior student.If I had just said one word, but the sin I committed because I didn't want that to be known.The mistakes of adolescence piled up.That's all it was.I never thought it would turn out like this.Airi puts it back in the album, returns the album to its original place, and hugs me.
"I told you! It's not Toya-kun's fault! Even if it was, I said I'd forgive you!"
"Yeah..."
"What will you do? Change jobs? There's even the option of Emi-san's company, you know?"
"Airi said it, didn't you? 'You're not running away. You're always fighting against adversity'..."
"Yeah."
"Then I'll choose the path of fighting. This is probably some kind of fate too."
Fate is cruel. Yet, do not fear her. The goddess never smiles upon those who do not fight.
"If Toya-kun has decided that, I won't stop you. Let's fight together?"
"Thank you."
"Well then, let's sleep. We have to get up early tomorrow for our daily routine."
"Yeah, you're right."
Saying that, I get into bed.Airi sleeps as if wrapping herself around me.I close my eyes too.Memories from that time come flooding back.
That's cruel, Toya-kun...
Those were the first and last words I ever heard from her.