Chapter 39 - only you
(1)
That day, Airi joined in and we studied normally.
What was different were my feelings.
I was thinking about something completely different.
Perhaps sensing my abnormality, Airi began to speak.
"Toya-kun, are you worrying about what happened earlier?"
What happened earlier? Ah, about Nakama?
"I'm not particularly worrying about it."
I'm thinking about something even more different.
"Then, what are you thinking about? You've been acting strange for a while now."
"I thought so too. What happened outside?"
Kanna joined in as well.
I explained to Kanna what happened outside—the conversation with Nakama.
"Is that all? There's no need to worry about that. It's just simple jealousy."
"That's true~"
Kanna and Airi said that and laughed together.
But I couldn't bring myself to laugh.
Airi's future...
I thought that perhaps, precisely because I love her, it might be important to push her away.
"What's wrong, Toya?"
"...Kanna, sorry. Would it be okay if we took a break from studying today?"
Airi suddenly spoke up.
"If it's about Nakama, there's no need to worry, right?"
"It's not that, it's just that there's something I want to talk about with Toya-kun, just the two of us."
"...Well, today's Toya isn't in a state to study."
Saying that, Kanna said "See you tomorrow" and went home.
After that, Airi sat next to me and spoke quietly.
"You're worrying about my future, aren't you?"
It seemed Airi saw right through me.
"I'm afraid that if things stay like this, I'll end up holding Airi back..."
"That won't happen."
Airi replied and gave a small smile.
"My dream for the future is to be Toya-kun's bride. That's why I'm not considering a path that doesn't include Toya-kun."
"Can you say that will never change?"
"I'm already in my third year of middle school, you know? I should have the right to choose my own future."
Instead, because it was a path she chose herself, she would absolutely not regret it.
It seemed she had decided after properly consulting with Airi's parents as well.
"On the contrary, I might become a burden to Toya-kun... but even so, I believe in you."
"Believe in me..."
In what?
Airi spoke quietly without letting her smile fade.
The words that it wasn't that Airi chose me, but that I chose Airi.
I believe that will surely never change.
No matter what lies beyond, I believe she will choose me.
As long as I am here, Airi can always keep smiling.
That's why I want her to believe in me too.
As long as the two of us are together, there is nothing to fear.
It's no good if either one of us is missing.
Let's create one future together.
"The current Toya-kun is just being swept away by Nakama-kun's values. But I want you to believe only in my words."
For Airi, she has no interest in a future greater than this.
What she is anxious about is my feelings changing.
But even so, she is not afraid.
Airi believes in my words.
She has lived believing only in that.
It doesn't change even if we are apart.
We have already overcome such things.
Because even with the anxiety that is Kanna, I chose Airi.
"I've already made up my mind. That I'll follow Toya-kun anywhere."
"...I've got it tough too."
"That's right~. Get it together, okay?"
Airi laughed, saying that she would certainly hate having a playboy for a husband.
If I did something like that, I'd be strangled by Airi's father.
"It's a heavy responsibility."
"It is. But don't worry. If you start worrying again, I'll support you, Toya-kun."
I will always be by Airi's side.
Because Airi will always be by my side.
"I understand... sorry. I think I was a bit shaken."
"It's okay. Rie-chan said that supporting the husband is the wife's duty."
Saying that, Airi leaned on my shoulder.
"If there's something you're worrying about, I want you to consult me. Because I want to be a strength to Toya-kun."
Just as I am a strength to Airi.
"Besides, it just means you cherish me enough to worry about my future, right?"
Airi said that it is by no means a bad thing.
"Maybe it's not a bad thing to consult you once in a while."
"Why?"
I grabbed both shoulders of the head-tilting Airi and pushed her down.
Of course, Airi is not the type to let out a scream.
"Are you in the mood now?"
"In this atmosphere, any boy would be."
However, she isn't prepared.
Sorry.
"Shall we go buy some together next time?"
"...That's fine, but what about now?"
"Huh?"
I kissed the puzzled Airi.
"It was the right call to have Kanna go home."
My cute girlfriend said that with a smile.
I would do anything to protect this smile.
I made that determination in my heart.
(2)
I came home.
To be honest.
Toya-kun is always like that.
Why does Toya-kun belittle himself?
Ah, though I also dislike it when someone is too overconfident.
Like Nakama-kun.
I was shocked.
Is this what it feels like to be hit in the head with a hammer?
Was I thought of in that way?
He said it before too.
Is dating me such a burden?
After that, we spoke alone.
I desperately conveyed my feelings.
I appealed to him over and over again.
Did it reach Toya-kun's heart?
Did it resonate with him?
I'm still anxious even now.
I'm so anxious I can't sleep.
The clock had passed midnight.
Chrarara~
The ringtone sounds.
This ringtone is... Toya-kun.
I wonder what it is at this hour?
I answer the phone.
"...Hello?"
"It's me..."
"What's wrong? At this hour."
I had nothing but a bad feeling. He's not going to say let's break up, right?
"Ah, sorry. Were you perhaps sleeping?"
How could I possibly sleep!
"No, I couldn't sleep..."
"...It's my fault, isn't it? Sorry."
Don't apologize.
"It's okay, I was just thinking."
I lied because if I told the truth, he would probably repeat the same thing.
But there's no way he'd notice that...
"...Listen."
"What?"
"I'm really okay, right?"
I'm going to punch this guy.
"...Were you listening to me properly?"
"I was, but I'm anxious."
"Should I whisper to you every morning after all? That 'I love you'?"
"T-that's a bit..."
Do you hate it?
"Do you hate it?"
"It's not that... sorry."
"Have more confidence in yourself. Stand tall. Otherwise, even I'll start getting anxious."
This is bad. I'm the one who's about to cry.
"Sorry."
"Not 'sorry'... there are other words, aren't there?"
He probably won't notice~
"U-uh... thank you."
"Wrong!"
Airi responded instantly.
Somehow, it started becoming funny.
"A-a hint..."
He's really dense~
"Let's see... what does Toya-kun think of me?"
"I-I intend to cherish you. What I said the other day is true. Even now, I wonder if being able to talk like this is a dream."
"Too roundabout! Just one word is enough!"
"...I love you."
"That's what I wanted to hear!"
How much that one word heals me.
The anxiety still hadn't vanished.
"Keep loving me forever, okay?"
"Yeah."
It'll be okay, right? He won't repeat the same thing, right?
"Airi... can we be together forever?"
"That depends on Toya-kun. I'm just going to move forward toward my own dream."
"I-I see... well, see you tomorrow then."
"Yes, good night."
"Good night."
Beep... beep...
The call ended.
I placed the phone on the desk and lay down on the bed.
I took the remote in my hand and turned off the lights.
He'll probably repeat the same thing again~
When that happens, I'll give Toya-kun a slap.
You don't have to be that humble, you know?
You just have to be confident, you know?
Because the one I chose is unmistakably you.
The time when I became convinced that Toya-kun had truly changed was not far off from then.