Chapter 401 - Crossing the Sea of Tears
(1)
"Good morning, Toya-san. It's morning. Please wake up."
"Good morning, Airi."
Saying that, Toya-san hugs me.
And after I told him not to, though.
"Geez, you promised you wouldn't play tricks anymore. Please get out of bed quickly."
"You woke me up earlier than usual, didn't you? Just a little..."
"That kind of kindness is fine if you only do it at night."
With that, Toya-san gives up, gets out of bed, and begins to change.
In the meantime, I hurriedly begin preparing breakfast.
And then, a fun breakfast with Toya-san.
"Heh~ that parfait looks delicious, doesn't it?"
I was listening to such impressions of the morning TV show.
Toya-san, who is watching closely only when it comes to food.
When breakfast is over, I clean up,
even during that time, he talks to me over the counter.
His talk about work is difficult, but even so, he explains it to me in an easy-to-understand way.
It seems there is a qualification exam in August.
He says he has to take five subjects in total.
Finishing my work while nodding along, we watch TV in the living room.
Even though we bought a large sofa for our reasonably spacious living room, he sits right next to me.
After spending such a sweet moment, it is time for Toya-san to go to work.
"Take care, and have a good day."
Saying that, I send Toya-san off.
I handle the laundry and cleaning at the same time.
Since the drying is finished by the time the cleaning is done, I fold them, ironing the ones that need ironing as I put them away.
After that, cleaning the bath.
By the time the bath cleaning is finished, it is past noon, so I watch TV while eating the lunch I prepared together.
Then, a phone call comes from Toya-san.
The time is usually fixed.
"Did something happen?"
"Nothing at all. Is your work going smoothly, Toya-san?"
"Yeah. I think I can leave on time today too."
"Do your best."
"Airi, don't just do housework all the time, you should rest your wings a bit too..."
"Thank you. By the way, what would you like for dinner tonight?"
"Let's see~"
He always calls me like that.
When the call ends, I wash the dishes and watch TV.
A brief moment of rest.
Lately, I've gotten the hang of things and have been able to gain some rest time.
I feel a bit bad for Toya-san, but since he told me, "Airi, you can rest when you can," I rest when I rest.
When I go to Blue Bird, Emi, Akira, and Honoka are there.
I give my order to Misato and sit at the table where the three of them are.
Honoka is feeling down.
Naturally, the topic of conversation was about Nakajima-kun.
"How have things been since then?"
I asked Honoka.
"Well, even when I ask him, 'Shall we go to the hospital together?', he just keeps insisting that he can't take time off from work..."
"You should just leave him alone. Given the time of year, isn't it just June sickness (T/N: A Japanese term similar to "May sickness," referring to a state of depression or slump that new recruits or students experience after a few months)?"
"Akira is right, there are tons of people doing much harder work. He's just being spoiled."
Akira and Emi say.
"But, even though I didn't know about those circumstances, it's a fact that even I, who should have been supporting him, was cornering him..."
It seems Honoka regrets what she said.
"What do you think, Airi? If we leave him alone like this, he really might..."
Honoka is working too, and they are living lives that pass each other by.
But if things go on like this, won't Honoka end up in the same state?
What he needs is rest.
However, even during that rest time, he is driving himself into a corner.
What is it that Nakajima-kun needs? A sense of accomplishment from doing his job? A sense of fulfillment. How should that be given to him?
Akira and Emi say that it's just Nakajima-kun being spoiled, so she should leave him alone.
But at that time, Yuki-san said.
"There are struggles that only fellow civil servants can understand," ...
Nakajima-kun also said, "I feel most at ease when I'm having silly conversations with my colleagues."
Colleagues who are more dependable than his own wife...
Normally, the wife should be the one who understands him best.
"I think it would be good if you made a place where Nakajima-kun can rest."
I answered.
"How? Even when I tell him to rest, he won't rest, you know?"
Honoka asked.
"Nakajima-kun is brooding because there is no one who understands his work, right?"
"Well, yeah."
"Honoka, you said before, didn't you? 'No matter how tired I am, I'm saved by the patients' words of thank you'... What Nakajima-kun needs right now is someone like that."
But nobody appreciates Nakajima-kun's work.
It is taken for granted.
And he is called a tax thief.
What can be done for Nakajima-kun like that is not so difficult.
"When you came home from work, Honoka, what did Nakajima-kun do for you?"
I asked Honoka.
"Lately, there's been a note saying 'Thank you for your hard work' along with breakfast..."
"That's it, Honoka. You should do the same for Nakajima-kun. You should understand Nakajima-kun's work, Honoka."
Toya-san also said so. That his thoughts switch gears with my "Thank you for your hard work."
"Airi-chan, Honoka is doing work that is many times harder, you know? And yet you're telling her to understand Nakajima-kun's work?"
"Work being hard is the same for everyone. But what Nakajima-kun is lacking is that there is no one who understands that his work is painful."
Not evaluated by numbers or words. A value system arbitrarily decided just by the scale of being a civil servant.
"I understand what you're saying, Airi... But I'm anxious about whether I can convey it properly. Because I'm constantly frustrated at work too."
"Nakajima-kun showed understanding for the pain of your work, Honoka. Within the Watanabe group, that's something nobody but you can do, Honoka."
"I understand, I'll try as much as I can. Ah, I have a semi-night shift today, so I should get going soon."
Saying that, Honoka left the shop.
"Airi-chan, if you put any more burden on Honoka-chan..."
Emi says.
"Nakajima-kun is carrying Honoka's burden together with her. But Nakajima-kun is carrying his own work on top of that."
Since it is a life of two people, they must carry it together. If either one of them breaks, everything will be lost.
"...I should get going soon too, since I have to prepare dinner."
Saying that, I also left the shop and stopped by the supermarket on my way home.
Returning home, I prepare dinner and wait for Toya-san to return.
Toya-san returned.
I welcome him with a smile.
"Welcome home, thank you for your hard work."
If that single word can change Toya-san. That is my role.
My words of gratitude to Toya-san, continuing forever.
(2)
"Thanks for your hard work, Ai."
"Good morning, Honoka."
Honoka, who is on the semi-night shift, arrived.
"How are things on your end? You went to Blue Bird today, right?"
"Well, yeah."
"What is everyone saying?"
"Everyone except Airi is saying, 'He's just being spoiled, leave him alone.'"
"Well, that's how it would be... What did Airi say?"
"She said to support him, and that I should understand my husband's work."
"Is that so. Well, it's about time for the handover."
"Right."
And so, after finishing the handover work with Honoka, I change and go home.
Getting into the car, I send a message to Eita.
Well, I don't get a reply, though.
Setting my smartphone in the holder, I head home.
I buy ingredients on the way back.
When I get home, naturally, Eita is not at home.
A single note is left behind.
Again...
I didn't even have the energy to get angry at this point.
I make dinner for two and eat alone.
After taking a bath (T/N: possible typo in source — original reads "お風呂に入るって"), trying to finally relax, I open the refrigerator, grab a beer, and turn on the TV to watch.
Around past 9 PM, a call comes in from Eita.
"I just saw your message. I'll be late today, so I don't need dinner."
"...Understood. Take care on your way back."
Saying that, I put the wrapped dinner side dishes into the refrigerator.
I guess I can just eat it tomorrow at lunch.
I watch TV again.
Occasionally, I look at my smartphone.
It has become Sasaki-kun's monopoly.
It's only to the extent of a few female students keeping him company.
The working group must be so tired that even looking at their smartphones is a hassle.
It is about time for work to gradually increase.
At a large hospital, many lives are lost every day, and many tears are shed.
We face patients day after day in that sea of tears.
Sadness, pain, regret.
A deep, deep sea of tears where all of those are mixed together.
We are the ones who help them cross that sea.
But we ourselves also sometimes feel like we are about to drown in that sea.
At times like that, who is it that becomes our support?
The next morning, when I went to work, I ran into Honoka in the lobby.
"Good morning, Honoka. Has your complexion gotten a little better?"
"Good morning, Ai. Yeah, last night, you see..."
Honoka smiled a little bashfully.
"When Takashi came home, I left a note just like Airi told me to. Then, this morning, he told me, 'Thank you, I was happy.' I feel like it's been a long time since I saw his smile."
"I see. That's really great."
"Yeah. I was only pushing the pain of my own work onto him, and turning a blind eye to his pain. From now on, I think the two of us can walk together."
I felt a little saved by Honoka's words too.
While crossing our respective seas of tears, we live together with our precious people.
(3)
Late at night, Nakajima Takashi opened the front door of his home with heavy steps.
He had made a mistake at work again today, been yelled at by a resident, and reprimanded by his boss.
What on earth was he working for?
Such dark thoughts dominated his mind.
When he entered the living room, the room was dark, and Honoka seemed to be already asleep.
Looking at the table, a dinner covered in plastic wrap and a single note were placed there.
'To Takashi. Thank you for your hard work every day. Thank you for always doing your best despite the difficulties. Please heat it up and eat. From Honoka.'
The moment he saw those characters, tears spilled from Takashi's eyes.
He had thought that nobody recognized his work.
Abused as a tax thief, spending days where his existential value felt denied.
But his wife, who was closest to him, was watching his hard work.
While quietly shedding tears, Takashi carried the dinner to his mouth.
The next morning, when Takashi woke up, Honoka was making breakfast in the kitchen.
"Honoka..."
When Takashi called out, Honoka turned around and smiled gently.
"Good morning, Takashi. Did you sleep well?"
"Yeah. Um, thank you for the note yesterday. I was really happy."
Takashi walked up to Honoka and hugged her small body.
"I'm sorry, Honoka. I was only thinking about myself, and didn't notice your pain..."
Honoka also wrapped her arms around Takashi's back and hugged him back tightly.
"I'm the one who's sorry. Even though you were hurting too, Takashi, I was just being spoiled. We might be like we're in a raging sea. But if the two of us hold hands, no matter how deep the sea is, we can surely cross it."
"Yeah. Let's cross this sea together, the two of us."
While shedding tears, the two of them reconfirmed the greatness of each other's existence.
It was the moment when a warm bond was tied once again between the couple who had grown cold.
(4)
"Hey, what do people work for, I wonder?"
Tsubame suddenly voiced such a question.
"To live, to earn money... isn't it just that?"
I answered.
"But there are all kinds of jobs in the world, aren't there? Civil servants, nurses, office workers. People often say 'there is no nobility in profession,' but in reality, aren't there social evaluations and prejudices?"
Tsubame smiled lonely.
"That's true. But no matter what kind of job it is, it doesn't change the fact that it's useful to someone. Because someone is doing the job that someone has to do in their stead."
"That's right. Our daily lives might be built upon the tears shed by someone."
Tsubame stared into my eyes.
"I want to be of help to you. No matter what kind of job you choose, no matter how painful the situation becomes, I will always be on your side."
"Tsubame..."
My heart raced at her straight eyes.
"Thank you. I also promise to support you, Tsubame, for the rest of my life. No matter what difficult sea lies in wait, let's overcome it together, the two of us."
"Yeah. It's a promise."
While gazing at the sunset townscape, we quietly held hands.
The warmth of that hand was more reassuring than anything.
(5)
At night, at the Toya residence.
In the living room, Airi and Toya-san are sitting side by side.
"Toya-san, today, you see, I talked about work with everyone at Blue Bird,"
Airi started.
"Heh, what kind of talk?"
Toya asked while gently stroking Airi's hair.
"About the difficulty of work, and the importance of understanding each other. Everyone does different work and has different worries, but I thought that the most important thing after all is for the person closest to them to understand that pain."
"That's true. I'm also able to do my best every day precisely because you are here, Airi. Your single word of 'thank you for your hard work' is my salvation."
Toya stared at Airi lovingly.
"I'm also happy if I can be a support for you, Toya-san. From now on, no matter how tired you are when you come home, Toya-san, I will welcome you with a smile."
"Thank you, Airi. I love you."
"I love you too, Toya-san."
The two of them quietly overlapped their lips.
Outside the window, a quiet night sky spreads out.
No matter how cold the world was, this room was overflowing with warm love.