Chapter 405 - Diamond Crevasse
(1)
The after-party was at the usual karaoke place.
The high school group had gone home.
Drinking, singing, making noise, and eating.
We were supposed to have a fun time.
But today, there was something on my mind.
So, I decided to make a suggestion to Watanabe-kun.
I stared intently at my notepad to set up the trick.
"Toya-san, what are you thinking about?"
"Just a little entertainment."
"Entertainment...?"
Airi tilted her head.
Done.
I handed the note to Watanabe-kun.
Watanabe-kun looked at the note, took the microphone, and spoke to everyone.
"Ah, I think I'll change things up a bit today."
Everyone stopped singing and focused their attention on Watanabe-kun.
"What do you mean by changing things up?"
Manabe-kun asked, and Watanabe-kun began to explain.
"The people I name now, please swap seats. First, Manabe-kun and..."
In this way, the existing groups were shuffled and scattered all over the place.
Sitting in the adjacent seats on both sides of us were Watanabe-kun and the Akiyoshi couple.
On both sides of the Tada couple were Sakuragi-san and Umemoto-kun, Wakamiya-san and Suzumiya-kun, and next to them, the Kiritani couple.
There wasn't any particular rule; I just tried to scatter everyone in various ways.
It didn't have any special meaning.
I just wanted to stir things up.
And so, the banquet resumed. (T/N: possible typo in source — original reads "再会" (reunion) instead of "再開" (resume))
When Watanabe-kun said, "Well, carry on," everyone started making noise.
Kosei and Sasaki-kun began a debate, while the other members listened in silence.
After a while, Kanna and the others seemed to hit it off with Sakuragi-san and Wakamiya-san. They started making a racket. The Kiritani couple and Umemoto-kun joined in on the fun. The Kisaragi couple and Suzumiya-kun watched them.
The seating area clearly split into quiet spots and lively spots.
At the table with the Manabe couple, Takanashi-kun, Tsukimisato-san, Urabe-san, and Kanda-san, the Manabe couple remained silent.
Unable to bear the sight, the Shiina couple told the Manabe couple, "Come over here."
Then, the Manabe couple, the Tange couple, and the Shiina couple began talking.
Consequently, Urabe-san and Kanda-san were left out.
"I heard you and your group are in the medical field, Urabe-san? That must be tough."
Yuki-san and her group started talking.
As a result, a group consisting of Yuki-san, Hasebe-san, Urabe-san, Kanda-san, the Nakajima couple, the Nishimatsu couple, Takanashi-kun, and Tsukimisato-san was formed.
Other groups with certain connections naturally moved seats and began talking.
The four from Mustard also came over to our seats, along with the Ishihara couple and the Sakai couple.
The Kimoto couple and the Hiyama couple also started talking amongst the four of them.
The Mizushima couple, the Kitamura siblings, Kuribayashi-kun, and Matsumoto-san were isolated.
"Katagiri-kun, was there some meaning to that seat change earlier?"
Sakai-kun asked.
"I don't get it either. What were you trying to do? Doesn't this make it pointless?"
Watanabe-kun was also asking.
"Airi, come here for a second."
"Yes."
Airi and I were isolated. We spoke to the six of them. I'm not really the type of character to do this, though.
"Tasuku, are you having fun?"
"As you can see. I was just talking with the others about what we should do."
"I see... Tasuku, how is newlywed life?"
"It's nothing special. I'm having a hard time because Sakurako's nagging has doubled. I'd heard rumors, but this is rough."
"That's because you live such a sloppy life, Tasuku! Don't make me look after you from head to toe!"
Seeing the two of them like that, I next tried calling out to Misato-san.
"Misato-san, is cohabitation going well?"
"Well, it's normal... probably."
"Thanks to her, I'm having a good time."
Kuribayashi-kun said.
"I see. It's good you didn't end up like Tasuku and his wife. I hear people usually clash."
"We're not clashing!"
"That's right! It doesn't even qualify as clashing. No matter what I say, Tasuku doesn't understand at all. You should be careful too, Misato-san!"
Sakurako-san said to Misato-san.
"We don't really have anything like that, though?"
Misato-san said to Sakurako-san.
"I'm not in a position to lecture you, but scolding him flatly won't do any good. It's fine to take it slow; our time together will continue from here on, so don't rush."
Airi said.
"Ayato-kun, you and your partner should watch them closely too. You two are going to live together in the future, right?"
"We haven't thought that far ahead. We don't know what the future holds."
"If we're having fun with our current life, we don't intend to change it. We both have our own friends, and I think we should cherish them too."
When I said that, Ayato and Matsumoto-san replied.
"But aren't you two basically living together already? Wouldn't taking the plunge and cohabitating be an option?"
Kuribayashi-kun asked Ayato.
"But living together means greeting the parents, transferring the resident registry, and all sorts of troublesome things. I think we're fine as we are for now."
"I'm not thinking about marriage yet either."
The two of them said.
Kuribayashi-kun said.
"I agree with Ayato's thinking. Cohabitating all of a sudden carries as much risk as marriage. While they're students, I think Ayato and his partner's lifestyle is perfectly fine."
"Normally, people don't think that far ahead, right?" Tasuku argued.
And so, the six of them began talking.
Even without me speaking, each of them expressed their own opinions and listened to one another.
After seeing those six settled, I said to Airi, "Let's go to the next one."
Airi followed behind me.
I went over to Manabe-kun and his group's seats.
"How are you enjoying yourselves?"
"Yes, we're enjoying it."
Manabe-kun replied.
"That's a bad habit of yours, Katagiri-kun. Isn't it about time you told us? Your intention behind creating this situation."
Shiina-san asked.
"More importantly, I haven't heard any complaints about marriage from any of your three couples. Is everything going well?" (T/N: possible typo in source — original reads "上手く言ってる" (speaking well) instead of "上手くいってる" (going well))
I asked the six of them.
"It's simple, Katagiri-kun. In the end, it depends on the man. The man just needs to shut up and listen to what his wife says. That alone keeps the peace."
"That goes for Tosaka-san too. It also depends on the woman. It depends on how much she can tolerate her husband's actions. It's not like you should tie him down with everything."
Shiina-san and Satomi-san replied.
"Toya-san does things properly even if left alone, so he's fine."
When Airi said that, the six of them laughed.
"How is work going?"
I asked Satomi-san.
"Well, I'm blessed with excellent staff, so it's going smoothly."
"That's good to hear."
"So, Katagiri-kun. Won't you finally tell us the reason for the seat change?"
Satomi-san said.
I smiled and replied.
"There's no meaning to it, you know? Can't you tell just by looking?"
The six of them were lost for words.
Airi also seemed bewildered.
"Then, why did you propose the seat change?"
Airi asked.
"Well, I suppose there was a bit of meaning to it. But for Manabe and his group, it was completely meaningless."
"What do you mean by that?"
Manabe-kun said.
I stood up and spoke.
"Everyone, don't move from where you are!"
When I said that, everyone stopped talking and looked at me.
"What's wrong, Toya?"
Watanabe-kun asked.
"Take a good look at where you are right now."
Everyone was perplexed.
"...There are people who moved from the seats Watanabe-kun assigned, right?"
A few people looked bewildered.
"Was it bad that we moved seats?"
Emi-san said.
"Since some people won't understand if I'm roundabout, I'll say it clearly. Whether you moved or didn't move doesn't matter. The problem lies in the current state of things."
"I don't get it at all, Toya. You're phrasing things in an incredibly roundabout way."
"First, the people who didn't move can be divided into two types. Those who spoke to the person next to them, and those who didn't move because the person next to them happened to be a friend."
Everyone listened to the explanation in silence.
"Next, the people who moved. They also fall into two types. Those who moved to where their friends were, and those who moved because someone called out to them when they were in trouble."
And then, looking at Tasuku and his group, I said:
"And finally, those who are neither. Those who couldn't move because they couldn't find a place where they belonged."
"So that was your scheme... I thought you were just trying to identify the cliques."
Watanabe-kun said.
"With this many people, it's inevitable that cliques will form. There are those like Kanna and Sasaki-kun who will actively try to communicate, right? Finding your own place is fine. But you're forgetting something important. We are a single group."
Every time a newcomer joined, we held a welcome party.
But those newcomers have no place to belong. And what has been brought to light now is...
"I won't let you call the Mizushima couple newcomers. Yet even they still haven't been able to find their place. Don't you feel that something is wrong with this situation?"
"That's interesting. Since I think this is an issue worth debating, I'll voice my opinion too. Isn't there also a problem with those who don't try to communicate on their own?"
Sasaki-kun said.
"I think self-promotion is necessary too. But you're missing the crucial point. All six of them are 'people invited to the Watanabe group.' At the very least, shouldn't they have a place with the person who invited them?"
"The one who invited Sakurako and her group was you, Katagiri-kun, right? Shouldn't you and your group take responsibility?"
Ai-san said.
"That's why I took action. The six standing in the center didn't know how to talk to each other, so I gave them a little push."
The same goes for Kanna and her group. They spoke to Sakuragi-san and the others and hit it off.
Emi-san and her group brought their office colleagues and came over to us.
But Kamerashi-kun and his group are still huddled together as four. The medical staff are also huddled together. Professor Tange and his group won't open their hearts to anyone.
It's the same for Kimoto-senpai and his group. Even though Yuki-san and her group went out of their way to speak to Urabe-san and Kanda-san.
Aren't we holding these gatherings to welcome newcomers?
Isn't it a problem that we aren't creating a place to belong, not just for those newcomers, but even for those who are already our companions?
That is the reason why I felt something was wrong.
"Are we going to keep going like this? I'm not telling everyone to play nice-nice. I said it before, didn't I? 'The opposite of love is indifference.'"
That is exactly the state we are in right now.
"It's just as Toya says. If we keep going like this, we'll turn them into existences that are just there, unable to do anything."
Watanabe-kun said.
"Working adults and students... I thought that was the only gap, but it's become much more complex."
A state where multiple crevasses have formed, leaving people isolated.
The place they arrived at after wandering continuously without being able to find a destination.
By the time they realized it, they had lost their way out.
"I can understand what Katagiri-san is saying. But even so, it's strange to push the responsibility onto us. They're adults, so they should at least be able to call for help, right?"
Sasaki-kun said.
"He's right, Toya. I might be at fault too."
Tasuku said so, and began to speak.
(2)
Three months have passed since I joined the company.
The work was relatively easy.
I just had to play basketball instead of doing overtime.
Even that basketball team couldn't be called strong by any stretch of the imagination.
An easygoing team that only entered a tournament once a year.
However, there was no one I could call a companion, either at work or in basketball.
At work, everyone only thought about playing after hours.
A world completely unrelated to me, with basketball waiting.
Even in basketball, there was absolutely no attitude of playing to win; they only thought about the drinking parties after practice.
Practice was only twice a week.
Since we used the municipal gym, I couldn't even do independent practice.
Sometimes I drank with my colleagues.
Whether it was complaining about work or talking about ideals, anything was fine—I wanted to talk about work.
But what came out of my colleagues' mouths was nothing but things unrelated to work.
If I tried to talk about work, they would say:
"Tasuku, you're way too serious. Learn to enjoy yourself a little!"
My only enjoyment was basketball.
Even that basketball wasn't fun right now.
It was the same with the Watanabe group. I had no place to belong.
But that wasn't it.
I had to change myself.
I had to adapt to my current environment.
They had prepared a place for me.
Above all, I had the precious place called Sakurako.
What should I do for Sakurako?
What can I do for Sakurako?
Let's start by thinking about that.
I was thinking about exactly that.
Everyone listened to my story intently.
Toya was also listening to my story.
Toya has a broad perspective.
He reaches out to us who are isolated.
And he points it out.
I can't just rely on Toya's kindness.
"It's the same for me, Tasuku."
Sakurako said so and began to speak.
(3)
In a sense, I was enveloped in a feeling of emptiness.
The women's basketball team became famous, famous players entered one after another, and the coach trained them.
On the other hand, the men's basketball team...
Should we have called them the generation of miracles?
Once everyone graduated, nothing was left.
Sho tried to pull the team along by himself, but everyone failed to keep up and quit.
"This is where we have to hold on!"
"You guys are the ones who will support the men's basketball team from now on."
No matter how much I encouraged them, everyone failed to continue and dropped out.
And they lost in the first round of the spring tournament.
The negative spiral continued, and even those who had motivation quit.
Now, the men's basketball team had degraded back to its state before Katagiri-senpai joined—a mere circle.
The numbers had dwindled to the point where they couldn't even play a match.
The coach was also apparently quitting after this term.
Both Sho and Chitose were disappointed.
The future awaiting them was gray.
While Sho and the others practiced, we continued our recruitment activities.
They didn't have to be strong.
At the very least, we wanted to create an environment where Sho and the others could play basketball.
However, rumors about the men's basketball team spread, and not a single person would come near.
We can't give up!
I desperately continued recruiting with Chitose.
We clung to them, begging even if it was just for a trial.
At the very least, we had to maintain the appearance of a basketball team before passing the baton to Chitose.
We were desperate.
The negative spiral continued.
Because I was so desperate about the men's basketball team, I had forgotten something important.
Even though I had been told so many times during the training camp.
To prepare a place for Tasuku.
I had neglected Tasuku.
I had vented minor stresses onto Tasuku.
Without even lending an ear to Tasuku's worries...
"I forgot my duty, which was to listen to Tasuku's worries before anyone else."
I regretted it so.
"Is the Basketball Club really in that much trouble?"
Katagiri-senpai asked.
"At this point, we can't even do a three-on-three. If we graduate next year, we won't even be able to form a team."
"We were told that if we're demoted from a club to a circle, it would be financially impossible to keep the current coach... It will crumble from the very foundation."
Chitose said.
We wanted to borrow the strength of the Watanabe group, but even with their help, we probably wouldn't be able to dispel the image of the Basketball Club.
The image of "strong team = hard practice" cannot be easily overturned.
"That's a troublesome problem..."
Watanabe-senpai said.
"If that's the case, I'll help too. I have a friend who has basketball experience."
Kuribayashi-kun said.
"I'll try asking my juniors too."
Manabe-kun said.
"I am truly sorry. To think we would let the Basketball Club that our senpais built up collapse so quickly."
I can't even leave anything behind for Chitose and Sho.
"Aren't you just worrying too much about that?"
Tasuku said.
"Toya, what do you think?"
"You're right, she's overthinking it. Our glory won't disappear."
Katagiri-senpai said.
You probably think you were entrusted with the Basketball Club
To make it shine strongly, strongly
But if you forget the present that lies upon the sadness of the past
It begs the question of what the Basketball Club even exists for.
I wander, seeking some kind of meaning
And even now, my blood flows as I live.
Who knows the meaning that my efforts were meant to have...
"Chitose and Sho understand."
Katagiri-senpai said so and smiled.
I met Katagiri-senpai, shone, and that is why I am who I am today.
Because there is love
What will waiting for a hopeless miracle do?
The past brilliance blurs with tears.
I won't forget
That kindness
And the hands that wrapped around everything.
With just a cold body
There is nothing that can be done about the current situation.
The bluff I kept putting up is melting away...
Why is it?
Tears overflow and won't stop.
"Even if the Basketball Club disappears in the future, our memories won't disappear."
Tasuku said.
The moon speaks and returns today as well.
So that we do not forget everything.
"Um... it seems like the conversation has derailed?"
Sasaki-kun said.
"You're right, but didn't you notice too, Sasaki-kun?"
Katagiri-senpai began to speak.
(4)
Honestly, the talk about the Basketball Club was a shock.
But it was a highly plausible story.
But even so, it doesn't matter; the glory we grasped only needs to be shared among ourselves.
Surely, something remained for Chii-chan and Sho as well.
Our era has ended.
We have no choice but to wait until a new era arrives.
"Um... it seems like the conversation has derailed?"
Sasaki-kun said.
"You're right, but didn't you notice too, Sasaki-kun?"
I said.
"Are you trying to say that the current story is related to the previous topic, Katagiri-san?"
Sasaki-kun said.
"Sakurako-san is trying to leave a place called the Basketball Club for Chii-chan and Sho. Tasuku is making an effort to find his own place. Creating and maintaining a place to belong is difficult."
So shouldn't we reach out to those who are searching for a place to belong?
Shouldn't we stop them from cracking and falling?
"People who have lost their place to belong cannot even make a sound. And what we can do for such people who can see nothing... you understand, right?"
"I see... So everyone had lost sight of their surroundings. No one noticed until Katagiri put it into words like this."
Tange-san said.
"So, what do you think we should do, Toya-sensei?"
Tasuku asked.
"There's no need for me to say it, right? The answer will be clear by the next camp."
I replied.
"That's true."
Watanabe-kun said so and laughed.
"Alright, let's end the gloomy talk here and all have some fun!"
Mika-san said, and everyone started getting excited.
"Right, why don't we start by having everyone introduce themselves one by one?"
Watanabe-kun said.
While the introductions were going on, Airi and I, the Mizushima couple, the Kimoto couple, Misato-san, Kuribayashi-kun, Sho, and Chii-chan gathered together.
"Sakurako, you don't have to be so tense. It was originally just a circle, and it only gained momentum because of Toya's active role."
Kimoto-senpai said.
"I really didn't want to say it. But it truly became completely unmanageable."
Sakurako-san said.
"It's alright, because it's our duty to fulfill our senpai's wishes."
"Even if we're demoted to a circle, we can manage."
Sho and Chii-chan said.
I didn't think an end like this would come.
If we can never return
At least one last time...
Telling myself 'goodbye' over and over, endlessly...
Now is when I want strength.
Because there is love
What will waiting for a hopeless miracle do?
Because everyone is here
I can keep walking.
I'm not alone, right?
I want an answer now.
I want to catch a burning meteor
Light a fire, and cling to it.
With just a cold body
What is to become of the world?
The bluff I kept putting up is crumbling.
Because we will meet again someday.
Let's be together then.
Let's hold on tight so we never let go again.
Because you'd want me to whisper that you're not alone.
"There's no point in regretting things that have passed! What will be, will be! Isn't that fine!"
Tasuku said.
"Sakurako-san, do you think you couldn't leave anything behind? Is that what you're thinking?"
I asked.
"Isn't that the case? My decision shaped the fate of the Basketball Club."
"If so, that is a huge mistake. At the very least, because of Sakurako-san's choice, I was able to get a gold medal."
"It's just as Toya says. Even we were able to promote to the second division league."
Tasuku said.
"Sakurako still has more than half a year left. You just have to do what you can during that time. And after that, you can entrust it to Chitose-san and Sho-kun. They will surely accept it."
Kimoto-senpai said.
If we could laugh together like the wind making flowers bloom.
If tears fell like rain wetting the grass.
Our wishes are fine, we don't need a coat of doubt.
Even if we are hindered by the era, it's fine.
If we could look at each other like stars connecting the darkness.
If the moon melted our fears as if forgiving everything.
Sho and the others can fly without hesitation.
They will soar beyond today, to where even the compass needle does not yet know.
We will just watch over them.
"That's what it means to entrust it to the next generation."
Kimoto-senpai said.
Let's believe in the potential of those two.
"You guys over there! How long are you going to keep grumbling! Stop giving off such a gloomy aura!"
Mika-san said.
We laughed and joined the banquet.
Sakurako-san also seemed to have finally made up her mind.
She took the device as if shaking off her tears.
Her turn came around.
Why was I born?
Why am I here?
But I want to survive.
Unfillable regret.
I was afraid of the light.
Forgiven lives are now drawn to each other.
Even if it's on the edge of a cliff, I want to survive.
Lives that want to awaken are now drawn to each other.
Let us offer prayers in place of madness.
Because I want to survive, because I still want to live
I am at a loss and withering away.
Even so, until I show my true heart
I will not sleep.
I will not sleep...
(5)
The banquet continued until morning.
We took the bus home.
"Toya-san, thank you for your hard work."
"Thank you too, Airi."
"Not at all."
After changing, I took a shower and looked through a reference book while watching TV in the bedroom.
Then, Airi, who had returned from the shower, took the reference book away from me.
"You're tired, so please rest a little. We can do it together after that, okay?"
"That's fine, but will you promise me something?"
"Whatever you wish."
"While I'm sleeping, Airi must not leave my side. Can you promise that?"
"...You are a troublesome husband."
Airi said so and got into bed with me.
"Hey, Toya-san?"
"What is it?"
"Since when did you notice?"
"What?"
"Since when did you notice that cracks had formed among everyone?"
I smiled.
"Of course I noticed from the very beginning."
"Eh?"
"At least, the generation up to Haruto and his group, and the generation after that. To put it more broadly, everyone from high school and everyone else, I suppose?"
"Then, why did you leave it alone until now?"
"Something has changed since back then."
"What would that be?"
"The ones who will carry things forward from now on are Nishimatsu-kun and Saki-san... the generation after us. If even those of the same generation are forming cracks, it's out of the question. Eventually, they will split."
In fact, the first ones who seemed likely to peel away were Manabe-kun and his group.
"The future from here on..."
"Airi, you married me and... we're going to have three children, right?"
"Will you have them with me?"
"If that happens, no matter how much we want to, we won't have the leeway to interfere with the Watanabe group anymore. Besides, I thought the numbers were getting a bit critical soon anyway."
"Does that mean they will eventually leave us?"
"Yeah, the time will come when we must entrust it to them. I thought the time had come to prepare for that."
Entrusting them to shine strongly, strongly, the hope they received.
"It's somewhat lonely, isn't it?"
"But everyone eventually drifts apart, you know?"
The present that lies upon sadness.
If we forget that, it begs the question of who we left it behind for.
"Toya-san, please stay with me forever."
Airi said so and hugged me.
I stroked Airi's back.
Because we looked at each other now under the guidance of the constellations.
Because lives that want to be forgiven have now drawn to each other.
Because when I finish wandering, I want to cool my flush next to Airi.
Even if it's on the edge of a cliff, I want to survive.
Because I love Airi.
Until the time comes when Airi shows her true heart, I will love you.
I am not sleeping yet.