Chapter 78 - And Then
(1)
"Toya-kun, good morning~! It's terrible!!"
Airi was in a panic.
I looked at the clock; it was the usual time.
There was no worry of being late.
"What's wrong?"
I slowly pushed myself up.
Ah, as I thought, I have muscle pain.
My whole body hurts.
"A-Anyway, come downstairs."
Saying that, Airi left the room.
While enduring the muscle pain, I changed and headed to the dining room.
"Morning..."
"Oh, Toya! Look at this article!"
Father showed me the front page of the newspaper.
Hmm? Isn't this the sports section of the local paper?
Well, I'll take a look.
My mind went blank.
"Local-born 'Fantasista' Appears!"
People love using the word fantasista, but that's a term mainly used for FWs; it's a word that has nothing to do with me as a DF.
I've heard that DFs and the like are often praised as 'craques' in Portuguese.
When I explain that to Airi and the others with a smug look on my face...
Furthermore, in modern soccer, where steady play is demanded more than creativity, fantasistas aren't viewed as being that important.
It's just that one fantasista appeared long ago, and since then, the word fantasista became favored.
"Toya, you were an FW halfway through, weren't you?"
I was hit with a retort.
Ugh, that's right.
Even those five minutes I spent as an FW were praised as 'Toya's Time' and such.
Did I really do something so great?
Well, soccer is over now.
Isn't that fine?
However, that alone wasn't permitted.
Even on the TV news, they were praising me to the skies, saying things like 'A new star appears in high school soccer.'
Normally they wouldn't cover the Inter-High qualifiers, so what's with all this commotion?
"It's going to be a huge uproar at school today."
Kanna had said such a thing.
"It's just winning the prefectural qualifiers, it's not that big a deal..."
Thinking that was naive.
(2)
When I arrived at school, what was waiting for me was a crowd of fans and mass media.
"○▼※△☆▲※◎★●"
I couldn't understand what they were saying.
Pushing through the crowd and entering the classroom, I was bombarded with questions from my classmates.
"Are you going to the Inter-High? You're going, right!"
"I'm not going."
"Why?"
"Because I want to enjoy my summer vacation."
"You could just make the Inter-High fulfilling."
"I want to spend it with Airi and the others."
"You're more normal than I thought."
"Well, the promise was only until the qualifiers, after all."
When I said that, the crowd of classmates dispersed.
Ah, is this how I should say it?
I called out to the people in the hallway.
"Um, I quit the Soccer Club."
It seems it had the opposite effect.
"Why are you quitting!?"
"What a waste!?"
"You might be invited to the U-18s!"
I don't have time for that.
As it is, my grades dropped because of the tests.
"Alright, it's time for HR, back to the classroom, back!"
Mizuta-sensei dispersed the crowd.
The confusion continued all day.
Even going to buy a yakisoba bread during lunch break was a struggle, being called to the staff room, and dealing with the surge of fans.
I'm glad lunch wasn't at the school cafeteria.
Eh? What about Airi's bento?
I'm eating it?
Whether it's Airi's sincerity or what, the white rice is packed in so tight it's almost too much.
Ah, there are side dishes too.
Surely a bento made by a modern high school girl wouldn't be a hinomaru bento (T/N: a bento with only rice and a single red plum in the center).
Going home was also difficult.
When I looked in my shoe locker, there were many letters... I couldn't tell if they were fan letters or love letters.
I let out a sigh.
Airi is indignant.
Kanna was... giggling.
Is that okay, Kanna? Makoto might be in the same situation, you know?
I ran into a woman at the school gate. Was it Sakoshita-san?
As soon as Sakoshita-san saw me, she said this.
"Going home already?"
"I'm going home."
"You really did quit the club."
"I believe I told you?"
"That's a shame. I heard information that the U-18 national team coach is coming to scout tomorrow."
"T-The national team coach!?"
Airi said in a high-pitched voice.
"It doesn't matter. I'm not playing soccer."
"I-Isn't that just you being stubborn?"
"It's not."
"Well, fine. Then, see you tomorrow."
Saying that, Sakoshita-san went home.
"I wonder what she's trying to say, that person."
Kanna asked.
I don't know either.
The next day, it seems the national team coach really did come.
Mikimoto-sensei asked me, "Could you come to practice just for today?" but I refused.
It would be no joke if I ended up being targeted because of that.
"Please tell them I refused because I quit the club."
Saying that, I went home.
When I got home, my parents were handling a phone call.
It's rare at this hour.
"Ah, yes. I understand. We'll be waiting for you. ...Yes. Then, until later."
When the call ended, I asked, "Who?"
"I-It's terrible, Toya! The coach of the Japan national team is coming..."
Wha...!?
"You should have just refused."
"Even Mother has times when she panics. What are you going to do?"
"It's fine, I'll refuse."
"R-Really? But is it really okay?"
"You're being repetitive! If I really want to do it, I'll play futsal after I go to university or become a working adult."
Saying that, I headed upstairs.
Wait, before that...
"Don't talk about soccer in front of Airi. It'll make her anxious."
"I-I know that."
After that, Airi came to the house and we started studying.
Then the doorbell rang.
It seems he's here.
"Toya, come here for a moment."
"Got it!"
Saying that, I stood up.
"Who is it~?"
Airi asked.
"They say it's the Japan national team coach... Airi, do you want to come too?"
"...Is it okay for me to go?"
"You'll feel more at ease if you hear the conversation, right?"
"...Yeah."
And so, the two of us headed to the living room.
"Oh? Airi-chan came down too?"
Mother was surprised.
"Airi isn't exactly unrelated to this, after all."
"Nice to meet you, Katagiri Toya-kun."
It's a person I've seen on TV.
Ah, so this person is the coach.
"Hello..."
Saying that, I shook the hand that was offered.
Then the coach, the coach's assistant, Airi, and I, the four of us, took our seats.
The one who spoke first was the coach.
"I'll ask Katagiri-kun straight out. Is it true that you've quit soccer?"
"Yes, I quit."
"I see... so you have no lingering regrets."
"I didn't have any lingering regrets to begin with. I just did it because I was told that I was wanted to do it until the prefectural qualifiers."
"Was it for the sake of... your girlfriend over there?"
"Yes. We decided to go to the same university, so I'm in no position to be playing soccer. She said if I fail, I'll be a ronin (T/N: a student who spends a year studying for entrance exams after graduating high school)."
I wasn't lying.
However, Airi seemed to be thinking the opposite.
"If Toya-kun wants to play soccer, there's the option of me adjusting to that..."
"I haven't said a single word about wanting to play soccer."
Then the coach held out two DVDs.
"I didn't come here thinking I'd get a positive answer immediately. However, I want you to watch these DVDs and reconsider. Think about it carefully with your girlfriend too. Even if the paths aren't the same, hearts can still connect, just like in soccer."
Saying that, the two of them left.
Airi took the two DVDs and returned to the room.
I resumed studying.
Airi was concerned about the two DVDs.
"...If you're that curious, shall we watch them?"
When I suggested it, Airi nodded.
"Yeah, I'm so curious I can't even focus on studying..."
I can more or less imagine it, though.
One DVD was footage of U-18 practice.
The practice style of two fantasistas and one regista.
Hmm, they move well.
Well, the common point is that all three are aiming for the attacking midfielder position.
I focused on one fantasista.
The movements are similar.
The part where they dribble is different, though.
If someone moved like that, I wonder if I could stop them?
Well, if I can't stop them, I just have to crush the pass. I just have to make them unable to move.
It's DF-style thinking, though.
I was so immersed that I didn't notice.
Airi's expression as she looked at me anxiously.
The other DVD was footage of Italian U-18 practice.
The movements of the regista and fantasista were coordinating well.
This fantasista's movements seemed similar to mine, but were different.
The point that they only use their left foot and use dribbling frequently.
I've seen this somewhere...
I remembered.
It's the person of the exquisite rainbow.
By the way, why can I tell who the fantasistas and registas are just by looking?
You can tell by watching the movements, right?
"These people are similar to Toya-kun..."
Airi spoke with a heavy voice.
"Yeah, well, the level is different, though."
"That's not true, I think if it's Toya-kun, you could compete..."
"Airi?"
I finally noticed.
Damn it!
I was immersed again.
Why do I always notice after the fact?
Airi's sad expression.
"Maybe you really should continue soccer? Toya-kun's eyes were shining."
"Airi... can I say my true feelings?"
"Y-Yeah."
Airi's eyes looked frightened.
"Let's stop talking about soccer. I told you in front of the coach earlier, right? I didn't have any lingering regrets for soccer to begin with."
"But..."
"Airi, when I told you before to go to a better university, you got angry, right? You said 'Do I not have a choice!?'... I'll let you hear the same thing. Do I not have a choice?"
"That's true, but..."
"What a good choice is up to the individual, isn't it? I choose the path with Airi. My will isn't so weak that it would be shaken by two DVDs."
"Yeah, I'm sorry..."
"No, it's fine. I'm sorry too, I just needlessly stoked Airi's anxiety."
"That's not true. I was happy when you told me we should listen to the talk together. It's just that I wavered on my own."
"Then, shall we study? We wasted quite a bit of time."
"Yeah!"
(2)
Tap tap tap... knock knock, click!
The start of the day.
"Good morning, Toya-kun. Oh? You're awake."
"Yeah, morning Airi. I've somehow developed a habit of waking up early."
...I'm bad at lying.
You have dark circles under your eyes.
I can more or less guess the reason you couldn't sleep.
I happened to glance at the DVDs on the table.
Then, one DVD was missing.
Is it inside the player?
"You were watching the DVD, weren't you?"
"Ah, sorry. I think I got a bit immersed."
Toya-kun laughed it off.
Do you really have lingering regrets for soccer?
Was the cooled passion reignited?
When we watched the DVDs together yesterday, Toya-kun's eyes were clearly lively.
It was the same during the final.
He acted like it was a bother, but his eyes were shining.
Is it my fault that he's enduring soccer to that extent?
"Airi, shall we go down?"
"Is it really okay like this?"
"Airi?"
Toya-kun finally noticed my abnormality.
"Is it really okay to just quit soccer like this?"
Then Toya-kun answered with a laugh.
"Of course it's okay, right? What's wrong, Airi?"
"I... I said I'd accept everything about Toya-kun. Tell me the truth."
"That's why I'm telling you the truth!"
Toya-kun's tone gradually became stronger.
At that moment, Kanna came upstairs.
"What's going on, a lovers' quarrel first thing in the morning? How rare."
I clung to Kanna, crying.
"Toya-kun...!!"
"Toya, what did you do, you?"
"Ask Airi!"
I flinched at that shouting voice.
Even though I said I'd accept everything, Toya-kun won't tell me his true feelings.
"I can't believe you secretly watched the DVD in the middle of the night and then say you have no intention of playing soccer! If you want to, you should just do it...!"
I'll follow you.
I forgot to say those words.
I don't know if that was the mistake, though.
"...I thought Airi would understand. I thought Airi would understand the feelings of a person who is pushed to do something they don't even want to do, just because of talent."
Did you really not want to do it?
"Because they were amazing players, because I liked them, I wanted to watch. Does that alone mean I want to do it!?"
Toya-kun, you're one of those amazing players too, you know?
"...To be able to stand on the same stage but not wanting to, that's just... ah."
Damn it!
I regretted saying it immediately after.
God, please let me redo this.
I won't say it anymore.
"...I mostly understand the situation, so for now, Toya, eat and get ready. You'll be late."
"Got it."
Saying that, Toya-kun slipped past me and went downstairs.
Once Kanna confirmed that Toya-kun had gone down, she said to me.
"Airi, in this case, you're the one in the wrong. Toya's been worrying about various things too. This was a choice he made after that, right? After saying you'd accept him all this time, I think it's questionable to deny Toya's judgment now."
"...But yesterday..."
I told Kanna about last night.
"That's not... but Toya refused, right?"
"But his eyes were shining when he was watching the DVD. I thought maybe his heart had changed."
"Well, he probably weighed the options. But he chose Airi, right? Isn't that enough? Airi, if you were told 'You can go to a famous university, so just go,' you'd hate that too, right?"
"...Yeah. ...I wonder if I can apologize properly?"
"Not 'I wonder.' You apologize. While corrections are still possible."
"I understand."
That day in the evening, I went to Toya-kun's house again.
It seems it was difficult while he was at school.
Being called to the staff room, and dealing with the surge of fans.
He seemed very troubled.
I wanted to help him, but remembering the morning, it was hard to talk to him.
I'll apologize tonight.
Thinking that, when I went to Toya-kun's house, an unfamiliar car was parked there.
Another guest?
I pressed the doorbell.
Maya-san answered.
"Sorry, we have a guest right now..."
"Airi's here, right? Let her in."
Toya-kun's voice could be heard from inside.
"...Then, come up."
When Maya-san guided me to the living room, there was Toya-kun and Toya-kun's father. Also, a person who looked like a foreigner and their interpreter.
Another scout or something?
During the day, he did say that someone from the local J-League team's U-18s had come to school.
The foreigner-looking person was saying something.
From the sound of it, is it Italian?
Toya-kun looked at me standing blankly and said.
"Don't just stand there blankly, sit here."
Toya-kun made space next to him, and I sat there.
"These people are scouts from Italy's Primavera."
Italy!? What is Primavera!?
There's no way I can go to Italy!
I can't go—I felt like I was going to cry.
I desperately endured the urge to scream 'Don't go!'
Toya-kun wasn't looking at me at all.
Is he angry?
Is he going?
Toya-kun didn't look at my pleading eyes at all and started talking.
He pulled me close by the shoulder and spoke while laughing.
"This girl is the Airi I was talking about earlier. She pouts easily, but I can't leave her alone. It's impossible for me to leave her behind and go to Italy."
Of course I'll pout immediately.
Because I'm pouting right now.
"Are you serious? Are you saying you'll throw away a brilliant future for the sake of your girlfriend?"
The interpreter was becoming desperate.
"I don't know what a brilliant future looks like, but at the very least, for me, the brilliant future right now is campus life with Airi."
The foreigner shook his head.
Did he give up?
"It is an extreme waste, but if that is your choice, it cannot be helped. I give up... But if you change your mind, please contact me here."
Saying that, he handed over a business card.
I glanced at the card.
Eh? Isn't this a famous team?
Even I, who am soccer-illiterate, know this one!
My mouth was hanging open.
Toya-kun wasn't looking at me.
"Probably not."
Toya-kun answered with a smile.
"I hope you change your mind... Well then."
Saying that, the two of them left.
(3)
After the scouts left, Airi and I returned to the room.
Airi was stunned.
I wonder what's wrong?
Ah, I have to put the DVDs away.
They'll just be a source of trouble again.
...That's right. I have to apologize for the morning.
I might have said too much too.
"Airi, um..."
"Toya-kun, um..."
Why are we in sync at times like this?
When I couldn't help but laugh, Airi finally laughed too.
"Can I go first?"
"Go ahead."
Airi bowed her head and held out both hands.
Even though I'm the one who should be bowing.
"Sorry about the morning! I just got heated and said those things. I might have put a burden on Airi again."
"A burden, not at all... I'm the one who just thrust my own feelings on you and ignored Toya-kun's feelings. I'm sorry."
"But..."
Just as I was about to speak, Airi placed her index finger on my lips.
"That conversation is over. We both had bad points. Isn't that enough?"
"...Got it. So, what was the thing you wanted to say, Airi?"
"Uuu... I said it was over just now, so I can't say it anymore."
Then it just makes me curious.
"I want to properly hear Airi's assertion. I'll properly listen to it this time."
"Then, I'll say it? Are you ready?"
"Yeah, whenever you like."
Airi suddenly hugged me.
"Don't go to Italy!! Stay by my side forever!"
Huh?
What is this girl saying?
"Didn't I just refuse that a moment ago?"
"Italy, England, Spain, Germany, Brazil, all of them are no!!"
"...I won't go."
I gently hugged Airi back.
"I'll tell you properly. It's not that I have absolutely no interest in soccer. That's why I was following the figures of those four players, thinking they were amazing. But I don't think I want to become like that."
"But if that's the case, Toya-kun is already at that level..."
"To be precise, I think I can't feel that I want to stand on the same stage? Those people have passion for soccer to some extent, right? I don't. It would be rude for someone like me to stand on the same field, wouldn't it?"
"Uuu, I'm sorry even though you just said it. Toya-kun's eyes were shining when you watched the DVD. It didn't look like you had no passion."
"If we're talking about passion, right now the affection I direct toward Airi is stronger."
It's embarrassing saying it myself.
Studying and Airi can coexist because Airi is with me, but soccer and Airi would mean leaving Airi behind.
When I think that Airi might be snatched away in the meantime, there might simply be no such option as soccer.
I won't say that, because it'll just make Airi anxious again.
Did my expression change that much? When I was watching the DVDs.
"Hey, Airi? If you're anxious, shall we just break those DVDs?"
"Eh?"
"I feel like those DVDs are the cause of Airi's anxiety."
"Hmm... it's okay."
Really?
Is it my imagination that she still looks like she's forcing a smile?
I took the DVD out of the game console and snapped it with my knee.
"Wait!!"
Ignoring the panicking Airi, I broke the other DVD as well.
"Now the seed of worry is gone, right?"
Saying that, I smiled brightly.
"I'm sorry, if I weren't here, Toya-kun could have devoted himself to soccer."
We promised not to say that, right? I'm going along with Airi's dream to 'become my bride,' so accept my selfishness too.
"...I understand."
It seems she really understood.
I don't know if it's tears of joy, but she's sobbing.
I gently held her shoulder.
Then, as if something that had been strained suddenly snapped, she hugged me and wailed.
Wait a minute.
If you cry that loudly in this situation, it'll look like I've messed up again.
I desperately tried to soothe Airi.
"W-Well, let's consider this matter finished... shall we study?"
"Yeah..."
There will probably be days in the future where we hurt each other.
But as long as I want to be by her side.
It will lead to a future I don't know yet.
Because there's still a long way to go, right?
I want both Airi and I to not forget the heart that believes in each other.