Chapter 83 - The Story of How There Are No Heroes
After that, it snowed occasionally. Five days had passed since the boy came to Sayuri Girls' Academy, but the snow remaining on the schoolyard and roads had not melted as expected. Fortunately, the sun began to peek through gaps in the clouds, but after a few hours, it would start snowing again.
The snow was a major source of worry for the students. Although modern solar panels can generate electricity even under cloudy skies, albeit with reduced output, they naturally cannot generate anything if covered by snow. Furthermore, if there was a risk of damage from the weight of the snow, there was no time to rest.
The glass-walled greenhouse was the same. It was supposedly designed to withstand up to 30 centimeters of snow, but that didn't mean they could wait until it exceeded 30 centimeters to clear it. If anything happened to the greenhouse where they cultivated precious vegetables, the students would be forced into even stricter dieting.
"Ah—, it's cold."
Aki's words vanished into the air as white steam the moment they left her mouth. In the classrooms and dorms, there were heaters using cassette gas canisters and makeshift stoves made by throwing firewood into a pail and lighting it, but they were only useful for warming the immediate area around the heat source. Since everything was electric, heating could be used as long as there was power, but there was nothing to be done if the vital solar panels were covered in snow.
Since it started snowing, snow shoveling had been added to the students' daily routine. Every time it snowed, they would go around the rooftop and the greenhouse to remove the accumulated snow. For now, they were managing with heavy clothing and small heaters, but considering that the temperature would drop even further, electricity was vital. If they couldn't use electricity, they couldn't use heating, and if that happened, deaths from freezing would eventually occur.
"Hey, aren't you cold?"
The boy, walking beside Aoi with a squeegee in one hand, answered with a simple "Yeah." Snow shoveling was heavy labor, and the girls alone didn't have enough strength. When Yuko went to ask the boy to help, he readily accepted the request.
In contrast to the boy clad in ski wear, Aki was in a state of wearing multiple layers of jerseys and jackets with a raincoat over them. This region was originally quite cold in winter, but even so, snow rarely fell. Even when it did, most of it was the kind that would melt away completely by the next day. Naturally, not much had been done in the way of snow countermeasures, and they didn't have things like ski wear.
"Well, you certainly are dressed more heavily... By the way, why did you feel like helping with the snow shoveling?"
"No particular reason. I'm bored, and it's more convenient for me too if there's electricity."
"Ah, I see..."
Aki was slightly disappointed that it wasn't an act of goodwill. That said, even if the boy had said, "It's a return for the room and board," they weren't in a close enough relationship for her to believe it purely. Although they had exchanged words a few times, Aki still couldn't grasp the reality of what kind of person the boy was.
They climbed the stairs and went out to the rooftop, and suddenly snow began falling on the two of them. Already, several centimeters of snow had accumulated on the surface of the solar panels. If it continued to snow, the time they could generate power even if they shoveled now would be minimal, but it would be the end of everything if they were damaged.
"By the way, what are you going to do when the snow melts? Stay here, or leave?"
It was awkward for a boy and girl to continue working in silence, so Aki naturally opened her mouth. The boy glanced at Aki once, then applied the tip of the squeegee to the surface of the snow on the solar panel and pulled it back in one go. The snow, which had clumped together like tiles, fell with a thud to their feet along the slope of the panel.
"I'm leaving. It would be a nuisance if I stayed here forever, right?"
"It's true that there are a few girls who don't welcome you, but there are also many who think it's a blessing to have you here. Oba-san even said we should keep you here even if we have to use honey traps."
Aki felt bad for Rei, but she was against her stance of thinking of the boy only as a target to be utilized. Keeping him just because he was convenient and useful felt like treating the boy as an object, and she felt some degree of repulsion. That said, Aki hadn't decided her own attitude on whether she wanted the boy to stay, and in the first place, she didn't understand if he was a person worthy of trust.
However, considering that he hadn't caused any problems since coming here, she felt it was safe to view him as not an enemy for the time being. If he didn't harm them, she also thought that maybe there was no need to kick him out as Sakuma was saying.
"Oba... that short-haired one. She was getting it on with another girl in the library the other day."
"Uwa, she was doing it again."
"Again?"
In an environment with only girls, boyish girls were popular. Rei was one of them, and she had many fans regardless of their school year. Rei belonged to the basketball club, and Aki had witnessed many students gathering in the gymnasium when she was practicing.
And it seemed that Rei herself didn't mind being liked by girls. There was always some girl or other by her side. Mostly they were underclassmen. Naturally, she couldn't do anything improper when the dorm mother or teachers were around, but everyone in the grade knew more or less that they were engaging in physical skinship between girls.
"So, she started getting it on taking advantage of the fact that the teachers are gone. No discretion at all."
"I don't think it's quite like that..."
It was true that Rei was a girl with those tendencies, but she didn't seem to be lewd. After the pandemic occurred and the students were left behind at the academy, she had kindly listened to the concerns of the anxious underclassmen. Aki thought that maybe that kind of "skinship" was also something she did to alleviate the students' anxiety... though she had no proof.
"So, what would you do if you were seduced by Oba-san? She has a good face and her style is decent."
"Where is the idiot who would fall for it after being told in advance that a honey trap will be set? Besides, I have no interest in women. Right now, surviving is the top priority; my sexual desire went somewhere else a long time ago."
"Then, what if we asked you to stay? Would you stay here?"
Everyone vaguely sensed that various supplies were nearing their limit. No matter how hard they tried to save, it would be lucky if they lasted another month.
Electricity, in particular, was indispensable for getting through the winter. On sunny days, they could generate power using solar or wind, and they had managed so far. Since spring was warm, they didn't need heating, and summer wasn't too hot because the academy was surrounded by forest. Electricity was in a state of being used only for baths and cooking utensils, but it wouldn't be like that from now on. If it continued to snow every day, the temperature would drop further and they wouldn't even be able to use electricity. If that happened, deaths from freezing would surely occur.
Assuming a time of disaster, the academy was equipped with an emergency diesel generator. However, its fuel would only last for two days if used in full. Until now, they had only checked if it worked occasionally, but since it started snowing, they had to use even the diesel generator. They intended to save by deciding on operating hours, but it was unknown how long the fuel would last. Once they used up the stockpiled fuel, they would have to go out somewhere to procure more.
"It would help us in many ways if you were here. And wouldn't it be better for you to have comrades than to act alone?"
Aki hadn't yet determined if the boy was a person worthy of trust, but considering that he hadn't engaged in any problematic behavior since coming here, she thought it might be okay to try relying on him.
As Rei said, having a man's help would be beneficial in many ways. Additionally, since the boy seemed to have extensive combat experience, he would be reliable in an emergency. When they had to go out for supply procurement, it would be reassuring if he came along.
But.
"No, I don't make comrades. I've decided that."
"Why? Aren't you lonely alone? Isn't it inconvenient in many ways alone?"
"Because that's the rule. I don't need comrades; they only become dead weight."
The boy answered immediately. The boy, who usually seemed like nothing but a robot, looked human for some reason at that moment. Aki continued while clearing the snow from the solar panel with the squeegee.
"But if you stay here, in a sense, it's a harem. Don't boys long for that kind of thing? You could even become a hero."
"A hero, you say?"
What followed from the boy's mouth was a dry laugh.
"I can't become a hero, nor do I intend to. No, I was trying to become one for a time. Do you know what kind of person can survive in this world?"
Aki was taken aback by the sudden question. She saw the boy staring straight into her face. In those eyes, she saw what looked like a negative emotion that could be taken as either anger or sadness.
"Um, a strong person who can fight?"
"Incorrect. The answer is someone who is lucky and thoroughly cowardly. No matter how strong a person is, they die easily when they die. That's the world today."
The boy continued.
"Until a while ago, I had three comrades. One of them was an American who had even received military training. I was taught how to fight by that person."
Aki involuntarily looked at the holster wrapped around the boy's thigh. She had wondered where a boy the same age as her had learned how to fight and handle guns, but so that was the situation.
"She was a strong person. Someone who could take down multiple infected with just a knife, and I was saved many times by her. But she died. How do you think she died?"
"...Killed by the infected?"
"No, she fell into a river and died. A while after the first of our comrades died, we encountered a large group of infected. We ended up having to cross a crumbling bridge to escape, but when she crossed the bridge last, the bridge collapsed."
"And so, she fell into the river..."
"I grabbed her hand."
Aki's heart throbbed at those words. If he grabbed her hand just before she fell, wouldn't that mean he was the one who let go?
"But at that time, another comrade was also being attacked by the infected. The bridge was collapsing more and more, and it was a situation where all three of us might die if we weren't careful. I knew that if I let go of that person's hand, I and the other one would be saved. And I also knew I couldn't pull that person up onto the bridge. But I hesitated; I searched for a way for everyone to be saved until the very last second. I wanted to be a hero who saves everyone, like in the movies."
And then, he muttered softly, "But it was impossible."
"In the end, I had no choice but to let go of that person's hand. But it's not like I was able to save the other one. While I was hesitating, she had been bitten by the infected. Do you understand? Because I tried to be a hero, two people died."
From the perspective of Aki, who had lived peacefully until now, it was a story beyond imagination. While they had been living leisurely while worrying about their families, the boy in front of her had been engaged in a blood-soaked battle.
"The first one also died because of my carelessness. Because I hesitated and made the wrong decision, because I tried to be a hero, everyone died. There are no heroes; everyone dies anyway. The ones who can survive are those who are lucky and can use other people's lives as stepping stones if it's for their own survival.
The reason I established rules was so I wouldn't hesitate anymore. Only those who can make decisions that prioritize their own lives quickly in any situation can survive. Those who hesitate die. If there are comrades, I'll end up hesitating, so I don't need comrades. Self-sacrifice? To hell with that. If I'm going to die becoming a hero, I'll survive by any means necessary. Even if I'm the only human left."
It was the voice of a man who had given up on everything and was exhausted. Aki suddenly remembered the time she lived with her father.
Her father, who was a police bureaucrat, had a tired face every time he came home. No matter how hard we try, crime doesn't decrease and the world doesn't get better. Once, she had overheard him complaining to her mother. Her father's eyes and voice then, like the boy's now, held a sense of resignation and exhaustion. Her father and the boy in front of her were likely the same in that they suffered from the gap between ideal and reality, yet had to fight against a reality they wanted to turn their eyes away from.
"...But isn't that somehow sad? It's certainly easy alone, but you can't consult anyone about anything, and no one will help you."
"I don't care; that's the rule I decided."
"Rule, rule... you're not a robot. You're a human, so can't you have a more flexible way of thinking? Can't you think that it was just a failure by chance and that you'll do better next time?"
Before she knew it, the boy's eyes had returned to being robotic, inorganic, and emotionless. There was not a trace of the humanity he had shown just a moment ago. A feeling that something she had almost grasped had slipped through her fingers—that was the sensation Aki felt.
"It would have been better if I were a robot. Robots don't hesitate, and they don't feel sad. Only those kinds of beings can survive this hell."
Before they knew it, only one solar panel covered in snow remained. The boy cleared the snow from the panel surface with the squeegee and kicked the clump of snow at his feet downward. The snow was still falling, but its intensity had weakened.
"...I talked a bit too much."
With those words as his last, the boy, with the squeegee with small clumps of snow attached in one hand, turned his back to Aki and began walking toward the stairs. However, Aki could only stand there and watch the boy's back as he left.
I await your opinions and impressions.