Chapter 204 - Episode 197: A Sweet Morning
Early December of the Royal Calendar year 216. As the air gradually took on the colors of winter, the Arqvist territory was enjoying days of tranquility.
In the latter half of last month, they had welcomed the third and final group of immigrants for the year, and with the allocation of housing and work completed, things had settled down. From now until the end of winter, the days would pass without any particularly major changes.
Amidst this, Noein's greatest concern was the health of his wife, Clara, and the child in her womb.
One morning. After Noein, Matilda, and Clara had finished breakfast, Clara was preparing to leave the mansion, holding her bag for her work as a teacher as she always did.
"Well then, dear, Matilda-san. I shall be going now."
As the population of the Arqvist territory increased, the number of children also grew, and during the winter agricultural off-season, classes at the public school were held almost every day. It was customary for Clara to go to work like this.
However, every time she did, Noein would call out to her with a worried expression.
"Yeah, have a safe trip... please, don't overdo it. Take care of your health. If it feels even slightly difficult, come back and rest comfortably."
To this, Clara replied in a gentle voice, though a faint, wry smile played on her lips.
"Yes, thank you... but there is no need to worry. I am only about three months pregnant, and women surprisingly stay active until just before birth. Liris has also told me to move around to some extent to maintain my physical strength."
"That's true... you're right. Sorry for being so fussy."
Noein knew that Anna and Rosetta had continued their work normally within the mansion while cradling their grown bellies, so he was aware that he was worrying far too early. Even so, he felt a bit apologetic for instinctively calling out to her.
"It is alright. Rather, I am happy that you care for me. It makes me feel truly loved... Well then, I am off."
Clara answered with another smile and departed for her workplace through the front entrance.
"...Sigh, I say the same thing to Clara every day. I didn't think I'd become such a worrywart."
Having seen his wife off, Noein spoke to Matilda beside him with a bitter smile.
"Clara-sama understands that it is because you are thinking of her and the child in her womb. It is proof of Noein-sama's affection."
"I guess so... Even during work, I find myself worrying about Clara and the baby at random moments. I finally understand what the retainers with children mean when they say 'I could die for my child' as if it's the most natural thing in the world."
Noein walked through the mansion, talking with a laugh. Matilda followed behind him.
The two entered the Lord's office and were about to begin their work as usual—but before Noein sat at his desk, he turned back toward Matilda. He approached her and took her hand.
"Hey, Matilda."
"Yes, Noein-sama."
Matilda did not know Noein's intention, but she responded immediately upon being called. No matter how abrupt the action, it was impossible for Matilda to feel any doubt about Noein touching her.
"This might be something that goes without saying, but because it's now, I wanted to put it into words and tell you... I love you, Matilda."
Noein spoke as he wrapped his arm around Matilda's waist and looked up at her face.
"Clara will give birth to my child. By having my own child, I will become even happier than I have been until now. I am very glad about that. Truly glad... But, you see,"
Looking at Noein's expression—which looked reliable, as if he had braced himself to become a father, yet also looked as though he wanted to be spoiled like a small child—and listening to his words, Matilda naturally wrapped her arms around Noein's back.
"I already know that being happy is different from being carefree. To protect the happiness of having a wife and child, and the happiness of being surrounded by even more subordinates and citizens as a Lord, I will bear a very heavy responsibility. I think there will be times when I want to forget all that responsibility, even if only for a short while... That is exactly why I will continue to need you, Matilda."
"...Yes, Noein-sama."
From here on, Noein would likely reach a line where he could not show weakness even to his close subordinates, or even to his wife. Matilda was the only one exempt from that logic.
"I need someone who is not a wife to help me rule the territory, nor a child to whom I entrust the next generation, nor a loyal and capable subordinate—someone who simply accepts all of me and loves me. In this world, only you can fulfill that role. Therefore... even after a child is born between me and Clara, nothing about the relationship between me and Matilda will change. I wanted to make that clear."
Of course, Matilda had never once thought that Noein's love for her would vanish just because he became a parent. However, even so, she was happy that Noein had gone out of his way to put it into words.
Facing Matilda, who already wore an ecstatic expression, Noein added more words.
"To me, Matilda, you are special. You are different from a wife, a child, a subordinate, or a citizen. There is no boundary between you and me. You are a part of me. I like you. I love you. More than words can say."
Hearing those words, and receiving Noein's gaze, which seemed slightly mentally unstable.
Matilda felt a surge of exhilaration that made her hair stand on end. She felt a joy so intense that she thought she might reach a climax from Noein's voice and gaze alone.
She was special to Noein. She was an irreplaceable existence, so close that there was not even a boundary between self and other, and for whom there were no words to properly express the relationship. This position alone, this way of loving one another alone, could not be replaced even by Clara or the child Noein would soon have. She became aware of this once again.
"...Yes. Thank you. I adore you as well. I love you. You are my everything. My everything belongs to you. No matter what happens, my love for Noein-sama will never be lost nor fade."
Matilda loved Noein, and she would continue to love him. Even if a situation arose where Noein lost all other forms of love, Matilda alone would continue to love Noein with all her heart and soul. That was the nature of Matilda's love for Noein.
That is why Noein needed Matilda. For Noein, who had spent a distorted childhood and possessed unstable parts in his heart, he needed the abnormal, blind, and unconditional love offered by Matilda in order to maintain his sanity.
And Matilda, in turn, felt joy and security in being given such a position and kept by Noein's side. The identity of being the final fortress that maintained Noein's heart was something Matilda needed.
"...Matilda."
At Noein's gesture of stretching up slightly to bring his face closer, Matilda immediately sensed what he wanted and lowered her posture.
As if asserting that everything about Matilda belonged to him, Noein stole Matilda's lips. As if answering that it was indeed so, Matilda surrendered herself to Noein.
To an outsider, it would be an unhealthy and distorted relationship. Some might even think it disgusting. However, for Noein and Matilda, this relationship was indispensable.
Because there was the sense of security in depending on and clinging to one another, Noein could walk forward bearing responsibility as a Lord who would soon hold thousands of citizens, and as a father protecting the lives of his wife and child. While supporting Noein with absolute devotion, Matilda could live in her own unique position by Noein's side without feeling jealousy toward Clara, who could bear Noein's children.
What a wonderful bond of love. What a wonderful, special relationship.
Matilda thought so, feeling her emotions heighten—
"...Phew, come to think of it, it's still morning."
Just as things were heating up to the point where they might collapse onto the desk together, Noein suddenly pulled his lips away and spoke.
"...That is true."
It was exactly as Noein said. In truth, they had confirmed their love upon the desk of the office several times before, but doing so during work hours, and in the early morning no less, was indeed problematic.
The maids would likely begin cleaning the hallways, and retainers might visit for work-related matters.
"...I have to work."
"...Yes."
To Noein, who spoke with a bitter smile, Matilda answered while trying her best to maintain her composure, though she could not entirely hide a slight lingering regret.
"The rest is for tonight. I'll adore you plenty tonight as well."
Noein smiled and gave Matilda another light kiss. Finding that mischievous expression far too endearing, Matilda said,
"...Thank you. Um, Noein-sama, if you like, would you care for some tea as a change of pace?"
"Ah, that sounds good. I'd like it brewed a bit strong to clear my head."
"Understood. I shall bring it immediately."
Saying so, she quickly left the room.
While maintaining her usual expressionless face, she walked along the second-floor hallway of the mansion, descended the stairs, and steadied her breathing as she headed toward the kitchen.
That was close. If she hadn't inserted the mundane action of brewing tea to cool her head, she might have abandoned all propriety and begged him for more right then and there.
Feeling the lingering sensation of the lips she had shared with Noein, and feeling a small amount of guilt toward Clara for having spent a sweet moment with Noein on a weekday morning all by herself, Matilda entered the kitchen to brew the tea.