Chapter 110 - Instruction Manual
(1)
Knock, knock. Click.
"Good morning, Toya-kun~♪"
Toya-kun looked like he was sleeping in bed... or so it seemed, but I'm not falling for that~.
Looking around the room, Toya-kun's sleepwear was scattered about.
It seems he's already finished changing.
He's probably thinking that as soon as I get close to the bed, he'll try to cling to me.
I wondered what I should do.
Lately, Toya-kun has become very kind and proactive, acting spoiled with me.
When the two of us are alone at night, it's just...
I miss the old days.
Toya-kun, who used to get flustered just from a little hug or a kiss, now seems as if he's waiting for it.
It's okay, if you want to be spoiled, that's fine.
It's okay, if you want to flirt with me, I'm always waiting.
Toya-kun has become kinder.
He continues to love me.
He continues to stay by my side.
Surely, he will forevermore.
His passion for food has finally turned into affection for me.
But I'll allow food every once in a while.
Let's go eat monjayaki again.
I don't like them much, but ramen shops or udon shops are fine too.
Just be careful not to overeat.
I want you to eat my home cooking too.
I'll make anything for Toya-kun, you know?
I'm currently learning Toya-kun's preferred tastes from Maya-san, so look forward to it.
You can act even more spoiled, you know?
...I can't handle requests like Makoto-kun's... but I'll do my best. If it makes Toya-kun happy.
Just kidding.
Toya-kun would never do something I dislike.
I trust the current Toya-kun.
I love him from the bottom of my heart.
Oh? Toya-kun is waking up.
Maybe I teased him a bit too much.
He gets up on his own and hugs me.
Since that night, Maya-san has been considerate and doesn't suddenly enter the room.
I contentedly accept this from Toya-kun.
"What were you thinking about?"
Toya-kun asked me.
I try burying Toya-kun's face in my chest.
"Ask my feelings."
Toya-kun stays still for a while.
Then, he lifts his face and leans in for a kiss.
I close my eyes.
And then...
Knock, knock.
Reacting to the sound of the knocking, Toya-kun pulls away.
Ah, it was almost there.
"It's fine to be close, but you'll be late for school. Hurry up and come downstairs."
"Yes~♪"
I answer in his stead.
"Well, shall we go down...!?"
Toya-kun gives me a bird kiss.
"Good morning, Airi."
I look into Toya-kun's eyes.
That smile, kind beyond measure.
I get drawn into that world.
"W-we have to go downstairs."
Saying that, I open the door.
It was supposed to be my role to make Toya-kun's heart race, but lately, I've been the one whose heart is constantly racing because of him.
He really slips past the defenses of my heart and scores a goal.
But you don't have to slip past so much.
The door to my heart has long been open and waiting for you.
(2)
A crowd has gathered in front of the school gate.
Crowds like this usually don't signal anything good.
Airi seemed to sense it too. As we try to quietly leave the school gate, someone in the middle of the crowd calls out.
"Hey, Toya, it's me, me!"
Makoto!?
Makoto, wearing the Ida High uniform, approaches us.
"What's up? If it's Kanna, she went to her part-time job already."
"It's about that Kanna, I have something I want to consult with you about, Toya..."
"Consult?"
There's nothing I can advise Makoto on regarding love consultations, right?
"Asking Toya-kun for love advice is a step toward ruin, you know?"
That cuts deep, Airi.
"...Maybe I'll have Tosaka-san listen too."
"Sure. To tell the truth, I've been receiving consultations from Kanna too."
"Ugh... I knew it..."
So, Airi has noticed.
Judging by her tone, is it a serious problem?
However, there is a problem...
"?. What's wrong, Toya?"
Me, worrying seriously.
To that, Airi says one thing.
"Fast food places are no good, right? Shall we go to a donut shop instead?"
"Airi, are you reading my current feelings?"
Airi answers nonchalantly.
"Since fast food is no good, you were worrying whether to have Chinese, ramen, or udon, right? But it's before a meal, so let's be patient, okay?"
"I said ramen or udon is fine..."
"That's for when we're on a date. That's not the case right now~."
"Toya, you're prioritizing food over my worries!?"
Makoto looks like he's about to strangle me.
"Well, donuts are fine, but you slipped out of club activities, right? Is that okay? You're going to college through soccer, aren't you?"
"I've already retired as an active player, so it's fine. Even if I miss one day."
"If you say so..."
Is it a more serious problem than soccer?
The donut shop.
"This and this and this, and also genovese, ramune ice cream, and apple juice..."
"I'll have this and a mountain grape squash."
"Can't leave this out, and also this and Calpis."
Once the three of us order, the food I ordered mainly occupies the table.
"So, what's the story?"
While twirling pasta with a fork, I listen to Makoto.
"Has Kanna been acting strange lately?"
Huh?
"Like, she lacks energy, or how should I put it..."
"I think she's normal when she's at our place, though?"
I answer Makoto while eating pasta.
"Then, is it only when she's with me?"
"Isn't that unlikely? It's probably just your imagination... ow!"
Poke
"Makoto-kun, Kanna currently harbors a bit of distrust toward Makoto-kun."
Airi said that after taking a bite of a donut.
"Distrust?"
I asked Airi.
"That Makoto-kun might not actually love Kanna."
"As I thought..."
Makoto lets out a single word.
"What? Is this a conversation about wanting to break up with Kanna or something?"
"...As I thought, it was the right choice for me to be here. Toya-kun, just keep eating that."
I'm useless anyway...
"Toya-kun only looks at me, so he doesn't understand what's happening around him."
Airi follows up.
"As I thought... is that the cause?"
Makoto says this and lets out a sigh.
"I think it's probably just as Makoto-kun imagines."
When Airi says that, Makoto holds his head in his hands.
"I messed up, after all..."
What did you do, Makoto?
"But it's not a conversation about wanting to break up, so don't worry."
"Is that so, thank goodness."
Makoto breathes a sigh of relief.
"However, I think it's a problem of how to treat her. It seems Kanna has had suspicions for a while. 'Does he only think of me as a toy? He surely loves me, but isn't it different from what I'm seeking?' She's becoming anxious."
"I guess I've been getting too carried away lately."
"I have my thoughts on that."
"Well, yeah. So, what do you think I should do, Tosaka-san?"
"Hmm, I'm not Kanna."
"?"
"My partner is Toya-kun, so I can't give concrete advice, can I?"
"What do you think, Toya?"
Makoto throws the conversation to me as I finish my pasta and try to eat a donut.
How should I answer?
Honestly, I've never been asked for this kind of consultation.
What I'm often told is "Move on intuition" or "Fill your world with Airi," and so on.
That probably doesn't apply to Makoto's situation.
"I don't think there's anything I can advise Makoto on either. Makoto, you have more experience than I do, right?"
"Only you were able to conquer Airi-san, right? Just give me the points from that time."
"It's just like pasta, Makoto."
"Huh?"
Makoto tilts his head.
"Even with pasta, depending on the type—spaghetti, linguine, lasagna, macaroni, penne—the dishes are completely different. Even if they're both girls, the way to handle Airi and Kanna is completely different."
"You mean your method wouldn't work on Kanna?"
"Exactly. Even a single difference in how you boil it makes a big difference. Makoto, you just have to create Kanna's instruction manual in your own way. While repeating failures..."
"Makoto-kun. One thing I can say is that I think the proportion Makoto-kun occupies within Kanna is still large. That's why she's worrying. You two just have to unravel it little by little."
Airi added.
"I see..."
"Thinking about Kanna and reading Kanna's facial expressions are completely different things. Also... basically, I don't think the way you handle Kanna is wrong. Just, be a little kinder to her."
"?"
I don't understand what she means.
"Kanna isn't Makoto-kun's toy, you know? She has emotions. Please understand that. A self-centered way of loving is no good."
"As I thought, it's that..."
Makoto seemed to have some thoughts on that.
What did you do, Makoto?
Makoto thinks.
"Makoto-kun isn't perfect either, is he? Even though, except for that one point, his way of handling girls is perfect. Unlike a certain someone."
Airi says that and drinks her juice.
That certain someone is probably me.
"I understand what you two want to say, but in the end, what should I do?"
"First of all, what do you think is making Kanna anxious?"
When I return with a question, Makoto falls silent.
Airi, who already knew, answered.
"If you know, then just fix it. Instead of saying things like 'a man's romance'."
"...I just end up doing it."
Makoto holds his head.
If it were me, I'd choose marrons over romance.
"Toya-kun compared me to food and now he's choosing me... I think. Makoto-kun, which would you choose, Kanna or romance?"
"That's obviously Kanna!"
"I think Toya-kun would give the same answer. But occasionally he does it. At first, Toya-kun chose food without hesitation. Because even if we clash, hurt each other, and crack, we can still move toward the light. Kanna has accepted you a little too, right?"
"W-well. I guess she responds to my requests."
"Then, it's Makoto-kun's turn. Why not think about what Kanna is seeking?"
"I get it... I'll think about it. Thank you, Tosaka-san."
"No problem."
Makoto's consultation seems to have ended.
At that moment, I noticed.
"Ah!!"
"What is it, Toya?"
"W-what happened?"
"Champon was also an option!!"
No, wait. I only ate pasta and donuts. I can do it!... As if.
"Well, the talk is over, so let's go home."
"Wait, the man-to-man talk with Makoto..."
I tried to resist.
Makoto is free until Kanna's part-time job ends, right?
"I have time, so I'm going home first."
A heartless word from Makoto.
"Then, Toya-kun can just talk at home, right? I mean, you were aiming for champon from the start anyway!"
"Airi, you said you'd accept my appetite."
"Toya-kun, you said you'd accept my selfishness too, right? Donuts, pasta, and ice cream is enough, isn't it?"
That's just ego!
"You really never learn, do you."
Makoto, I don't want to hear that from you.
(3)
After finishing changing in the locker room, I leave the shop.
"Yo!"
Makoto is waving his hand.
He really is a diligent guy every single day.
I silently mount my bicycle.
I'm being mean.
This isn't how you treat a boyfriend who went out of his way to pick you up.
Since that day, I just can't be honest.
Even though I actually want to be spoiled very much.
Am I nothing more than your toy?
I keep asking that question.
Surely Makoto will say that's not the case.
I think he would weigh me against something and choose me.
I want to know the basis for that.
I want him to tell me why it's me.
...Do I know it?
Do you need a reason to fall in love?
Is it still like that now?
Can you still say you love me now?
Wouldn't someone who satisfies your requests more be better?
I can't do any more than this.
I'm scared.
I'm scared that if I refuse Makoto's requests, his affection will turn toward someone else.
I'm scared.
That if I pursue this any further, I'll be thought of as a heavy woman.
Because we could only meet occasionally, I responded to Makoto's requests.
Even while meeting the greatest person like Makoto, I wondered if it would be arrogant for me to request anything more from him.
I'm scared...
Of hearing Makoto's true feelings...
"Kanna!"
Makoto is calling me.
What should I do?
I wish I could enter my boyfriend's heart like Airi does.
I should be able to.
But I'm scared.
Of knowing Makoto's world.
I'm closing the door myself.
I arrived home.
As I try to unlock the door, Makoto hugs me from behind.
Don't let go just like that.
If I just said that one thing, everything would be settled smoothly, right?
But if the police saw us, Makoto would undoubtedly be arrested.
"...I'll serve some tea, so stop by the house. You have something to talk about, right."
A voice so cold it surprises even me.
Because I talk like that, Makoto gets the wrong idea.
I'm disgusted by my own clumsiness.
After guiding Makoto to the room and serving tea, I said, "Wait here while I finish eating and taking a bath."
I finish a simple meal and take a bath.
Then I come out and return to my room, saying "Sorry to keep you waiting."
Drinking juice after the bath, I asked Makoto.
"What do you want?"
That's wrong.
That's not how you say it.
"Sorry!"
Saying that, Makoto bows his head.
That's wrong.
What I want to hear isn't an apology, is it?
Or is that apology...?
"I had a vague inkling. Kanna's worries. I didn't know how to respond."
It's not something for you to apologize for.
Because I'm just worrying alone.
"It's fine... I'm okay."
Saying that, I put on a fake smile.
"Are you staying over tonight?"
Looking at his luggage, it seems he hasn't prepared a change of clothes.
"I'll exercise self-restraint..."
The part you should exercise restraint in is different.
I'll accept as much of your love as you give.
Rather, I want you to fill me with more love.
I silently shake my head.
"What's wrong?"
Makoto is bewildered.
I finally know what to say.
"You don't have to exercise restraint. I want you to direct your love toward me forever. I don't want you to stop your love. Just... please forgive me for not having the capacity to accept all of you."
Don't hate me.
Makoto listened in silence.
Then, with a gentle smile, he softly embraces me.
"There's no way I could ever hate you. There's no way the capacity of Kanna, who has accepted all my selfishness until now, is small. I was just acting spoiled. You don't have to worry."
"Thank you..."
I bury my face in Makoto's chest.
From now on, if I ever end up drenched in tears, I want you to hug me strongly just like now.
Even though I'm like this, I want you to smile and forgive me.
Because I'm yours with a permanent guarantee.
(4)
"Hmm..."
I was worrying.
An instruction manual, huh...
I wonder if there's such a thing as Airi's instruction manual?
If there is, I'd definitely love to read it.
I want her to tell me even just the precautions.
"Hmm..."
I was hesitating.
But if such a thing were circulating in the world, everyone would take Airi away from me.
That would be a problem.
"Do you want my instruction manual?"
Airi was sleeping with my lap as a pillow.
Did she enter again?
I don't know if she entered or if I'm simply dull.
Airi has her ear turned toward my stomach.
When she's in that posture...
See, my crotch enters a state of emergency, right?
"I don't mind it anymore."
"Weren't you in the middle of studying?"
"Because you were groaning 'hmm' and didn't seem to be in a state to study. So, do you want my instruction manual?"
If such a thing existed in the world, I'd want to burn every copy.
"It exists. My instruction manual."
"Where?"
Airi sits up and presses her face against my chest.
"It's right here, the instruction manual of me that only Toya-kun knows."
"Only I know it?"
"Yes, there's the thing that Toya-kun has built up himself, isn't there?"
I'm still having trouble handling Airi, though.
There's a "fragile" label attached to Airi's body.
Gently, gently, so as not to hurt her.
"It started from the moment we met. There were fights and such, but the feeling of 'wanting to be together' has led us to today."
Airi's instruction manual that only I know.
If that's the case, I'm relieved.
I'll keep it in the warehouse of my heart.
Makoto will probably make one from now on too. Kanna's instruction manual.
Keep it stored securely so that no one else finds out.
"Furthermore, if you don't keep updating it from here on, it'll be meaningless if it stays old."
Tell me, just how many more times do I have to update it. Zero tells me nothing.
Poke
"I told you to stop quoting anime lines, didn't I?"
It's fine to think it in my heart, right? I mean, just how much can she enter my mind?
"Because when Toya-kun makes that face, it's usually at times like this."
You're not looking at my face!... wait, she was.
"That's right, I want you to keep doing it at least until we get married."
Airi says with a full smile.
In Airi's head, the sound of the Angelus bell must be ringing above us.
Such an Airi looks at my face and closes her eyes.
"...Now was supposed to be study time, right?"
"Read my instruction manual properly."
It doesn't say to kiss during study time.
But, peeking into Airi's heart, it was full of such feelings.
In the end, what is an instruction manual?
While thinking about that, I responded to Airi's request.