Chapter 33 - Christmas
(1)
At first, I was pissed.
But after a while, I started to feel sad.
I felt like an idiot.
Whatever.
Let's just end this.
I truly thought so.
Toya-kun desperately tried to stop me.
"It's about Kanna, right?"
"I don't want to hear any more!"
...I was wrong.
For the first time, Toya-kun opened up about his feelings.
Since fifth grade?
A whole year before I even became conscious of him?
He felt that way?
My very existence had been making Toya-kun suffer?
I listened to all his stories, completely absorbed in them.
And I couldn't stop crying.
I was so happy, so happy that I couldn't stop shaking.
It wasn't because of the cold.
"Why didn't you tell me until now?"
"Did you not have the courage to say it?"
"This isn't some made-up story, right?"
Yes, I know.
I know he's not that skilled at lying.
It's okay, even if you're clumsy.
Watching Toya-kun earnestly describe his feelings, my anger and sadness vanished before I knew it.
It's fine now.
"Let go."
"No. I won't let go until you forgive me."
Is it okay to say something like that?
Just how earnest is today's Toya-kun?
If he says things like that, it makes me so happy that I want to be mean.
"Then, I'll never forgive you."
His strength vanished for a moment.
Did he get disappointed?
Too bad.
I turn toward Toya-kun.
And I hug him.
"I'll absolutely never forgive you... so never let me go for the rest of your life."
"Eh?"
I'm sorry, for not knowing your feelings, Toya-kun.
But there are some things I can't understand unless you tell me.
From now on, let's be the kind of partners who can speak their true feelings to each other.
The happiness didn't end there.
A sudden deep kiss.
God, is this my Christmas present?
"I'm so happy."
I'm happy too.
After that, he really didn't let go.
After a while, I said to Toya-kun, "...Shall we go home?"
"Eh? But..."
Are you taking it seriously?
It's okay now!
"Do you intend to stay here forever?"
"...O-only until Airi forgives me."
I fought back a laugh.
Toya-kun looked bewildered.
"If you stay forever, you'll catch a cold."
I take Toya-kun's hand and start walking.
"Let's go home, okay?"
Toya-kun follows, looking unconvinced.
He's such a handful.
We arrive in front of his house.
"Well, see you later."
As I say that and try to go home, he pulls my hand.
"I told you, until you forgive me, right?"
He's saying it with a straight face.
Past the point of laughter, I'm starting to get irritated again.
But I don't hate it.
I give him a light kiss.
"I love you! ...Do you still not get it?"
Just realize it already!
It seems he realized.
Toya-kun lets go of my hand.
"Well, see you tomorrow."
With that, he went home.
When I returned to my own room, I dove onto the bed.
I clung to the duvet.
Actually, I wanted to be with him forever too, you know.
At that moment, I had an inspiration.
I left the room and went to consult Rie-chan.
(2)
"Mornin'! Toya!"
As I throw the door open with vigor, Toya sleepily raises his upper body from the bed.
The "just woke up" look, huh.
The time is 10:00.
An hour late.
I intended to say sorry for being late, but I overslept too?
By "I," I don't mean myself.
I mean Airi.
It's rare for Airi to oversleep.
"Ah, sorry. Wait a sec."
Saying that, he gets up. He begins preparing for studying.
At least do something about those pajamas. Airi will jump on you.
...Is he this defenseless when it's just me?
That's why Airi gets mad at him again...
Ding-dong
She's here.
She comes up the stairs.
"Huh? Kanna, what are you doing?"
"No, Toya is..."
"Did something happen to Toya-kun?"
Eyes that had been vacant until then snap wide open as she pushes me aside and looks into the room.
Then she breathes a sigh of relief.
"Thank goodness Toya-kun is safe..."
Safe from what?
"Come on, Toya-kun, change your clothes. Let me know when you're finished."
Saying that, she closes the door.
Airi is smiling the whole time.
"Hey, did something happen yesterday?"
"N-nothing in particular..."
An attitude that blatantly shows she's hiding something.
"We just had a normal date. Kanna, did you just relax at home with your mother and daughter?"
"No, actually..."
I was hanging out with Makoto and the others.
While I was watching a music program special alone, I got a message.
"We're all at karaoke, want to come? You're alone, right?"
It was from Makoto. That guy still hadn't deleted my contact info. Or rather, he's meddling too much.
That said, I was bored.
"Which karaoke place?"
"The one in the neighborhood."
And so, I joined up with Makoto and the others for karaoke.
"I see."
Airi nods.
"What were you and the others doing?"
"Eh... just a normal meal, looking at the illuminations..."
"And then?"
"We went home."
"That's it?"
"That's it, though we talked in the park for a bit on the way."
"What kind of things were you talking about?"
"That's a secret."
A giddy manner that seems to have a ♪ attached to the end of her sentences.
Something happened...
No way they crossed the line.
...There's no way Toya has that kind of guts.
"I've changed!"
"Okay, let's go in, Kanna."
"Right."
After that, we studied normally, ate lunch, and studied again.
The usual life.
If anything changed, it was Toya and Airi.
They look the same as usual, but something is different.
Occasionally, when their eyes meet, they smile bashfully.
I feel like the distance between them has closed.
They've been dating for two or three years already, yet there's a newfound freshness to it now.
It's embarrassing just watching them.
I mean, have they forgotten about me!?
I feel kind of out of place.
Maybe I'll go home early today.
Just as I'm thinking that, my smartphone rings.
It's from Makoto.
"We're all hanging out today too, want to come?"
Perfect timing.
"Sorry, something came up, so I'm heading home."
Saying that, I pack up and leave.
"Eh, it's only 18:00."
"That's right, did something happen with your errand?"
The two of them call out to me, but I say "Sorry" and leave the room.
"Wait, Kanna."
Airi stops me as I descend the stairs.
"I'm sorry, did I do something to offend you?"
"...You didn't do anything. Makoto just called me."
"Makoto-kun? ...I thought you two broke up?"
"As friends. See ya."
Saying that, I left the house.
(3)
"I heard you were called by Tada-kun."
Airi, having returned to the room, said that.
Studying just the two of us.
Before Kanna came, that was the norm.
But why is it?
Today, my heart is pounding unusually.
Ever since Airi came this morning and studying began, it's been pounding the whole time.
When our eyes occasionally meet, we both smile bashfully.
Was it like this when we first started dating?
I don't remember well.
...If I said that, Airi would probably get mad again.
"Um..."
"Um..."
It was almost simultaneous.
Did we both feel the silence was heavy?
"Toya-kun, you go first."
"No, Airi first."
"Mine will be long, so Toya-kun first."
A long story?
I'm a bit curious, but we won't get anywhere if we keep deferring to each other.
"...About yesterday. Are you still angry?"
It's probably fine, surely fine, yeah well, if she's angry I'll apologize.
Airi's expression becomes stern.
Crap, was she angry!?
"If it looked like I'm angry now, that's probably..."
Probably?
"...at Toya-kun, who is dense to the end and keeps dwelling on it forever!"
Saying that, Airi lunges at me... or rather, she hugs me.
"What's with you all of a sudden! We're studying!"
"But it's Toya-kun's fault for grumbling about things that have already passed~"
Saying that, she gave me a flick to the forehead.
"So, it's Airi's turn next, right? What is it?"
"Well~. Why don't you stay over today?"
Huh?
"It's okay, I've already gotten proper consent from Rie-chan."
"What about my parents..."
Ring ring ring...
The landline is ringing.
Mother answers.
"Yes, this is Katagiri. Ah, Tosaka-san? Our Toya is..."
"Yes, this is no problem."
Airi says, puffing out her chest proudly.
Is this okay? Is it okay to let a boy stay at a girl's house at this age!?
The parents's have gone crazy.
I was invited to the Tosaka family's Christmas party, which had been planned from the start.
A feast had been prepared.
"Eat lots, okay~ Toya-kun."
"...Umu."
"There's cake after this too."
I eat as I'm told.
Delicious!
Champagne Merry was prepared instead of champagne.
Eating this much and then having carbonation is tough even for me.
To finish it off, cake.
I'm already full; I can't move.
"Please take a bath before going upstairs~. It's already prepared~"
...said Airi's mom.
I obey obediently.
After feeling refreshed, I go to the living room where Airi is waiting.
I am guided to a room on the second floor.
"Please take care of our daughter~"
"...U-umu."
The voices of Airi's father and mother echo from the living room.
What is this conversation?
I enter the room.
It's the same as before.
The same?
I felt some kind of dissonance.
Ignoring me as I stand there blankly, she prepares her change of clothes.
"Well, I'm going to take a bath too. Take your time~"
Saying that, Airi leaves the room.
What is it? I search for the identity of the dissonance.
That said, it's not that I'm rummaging through the room.
I feel like I'm playing a spot-the-difference game?
For now, I'll sit.
And I lean my elbows on the table.
And I think.
What's strange?
However, there is nothing more unsettling than being alone in a girl's room.
Would it be more settling if there were two of us?
It's better than being alone, right?
I'm a healthy boy too.
Of course, I'd want to look at her underwear or something... I wouldn't!
Calm down. More important than that is the identity of the dissonance.
Something is missing.
What is missing.
The room has plenty of necessary things.
The space is being used effectively.
Space...!?
Ah!!
Just as I finally realized the identity of the dissonance, Airi returned to the room.
"I'm back...! What's wrong?"
I was staring intently at the returned Airi.
Airi undoing her twin-tails after a bath is also cute... but that's not the point right now.
"...Huh?"
"Eh?"
"Where is my place to sleep?"
"Eh? Right there."
Where Airi pointed was unmistakably Airi's bed.
"A-Airi is..."
I'm scared to ask; no matter how much it's Airi's mom, she wouldn't allow that, right? I'm sleeping with Airi's mom. Tell me that's it!
"...Together."
The worst possible option was returned.
And bashfully, at that.
Isn't two people in a single bed impossible?
Moreover, we're a boy and a girl!
"You're lying, right?"
Tell me it's a lie!
"...Do you hate sleeping with me?"
"N-no, it's not that... it's just, your parents wouldn't allow it."
"I told you I got permission."
So that "take care of her" earlier meant that.
I don't know if they trust me or are underestimating me.
Ignoring me in my agony, Airi uses the hairdryer in a giddy mood.
What do I do?
Can I maintain my rationality, me?
Did someone say that in times like this, you should count prime numbers?
"Alright!"
Airi stands up.
I instinctively flinch.
"I'm thirsty, so I'll bring the remaining Champagne Merry."
Saying that, Airi leaves the room.
Only one option remains.
Talking until morning.
...It was a futile resistance.
She came back with the juice, and while drinking the juice, we talked about this and that...
"Shall we sleep soon?"
Airi gets into the bed first and beckons me.
Resigned, I intrude upon the bed.
Only one thing remained.
I should just fall asleep first.
I close my eyes.
Now, I'll sleep! ...But the more I think it, the more I can't sleep.
Especially because the situation is what it is.
The situation became even more serious.
"¥#▽〆＊$"
Airi gently hugged me from behind.
Since my back is turned, I can't see her face.
What kind of face is she making?
I want to turn around and check.
But I mustn't turn around.
If I see her... it will surely become something irreversible.
"I've been thinking about it since yesterday."
"T-thinking about what?"
"Toya-kun gave me so much happiness. I wondered, what can I do to make Toya-kun happy?"
Is this the result of that?
"I-I told you yesterday, right? That being able to date Airi is happiness."
"Those words made me even happier. I want to give something back."
"Even so, this is..."
"Nothing else came to mind... ah!"
"What is it?"
"Do you despise me? That I'm a loose woman."
"I'm just bewildered. You're not the kind of Airi who would do this, right?"
"It's only for Toya-kun..."
Airi presses closer.
It's a good thing I'm facing away.
If we were facing each other... well... if you're a man, you'd understand, right?
"Does Toya-kun dislike it?"
"It's not that I dislike it, but isn't it still too early? We're middle schoolers."
"I've heard of people who did it in elementary school. I heard it from a friend."
"I'm telling you, that's a special case."
"Then... you don't have to do anything, so at least turn this way."
My final resistance was sealed.
"If you don't hate me, turn this way."
I make up my mind and change my direction toward Airi.
There was Airi, her cheeks flushed, looking bashful.
If she's embarrassed, she should just stop doing this.
Airi gives me a light kiss and presses even closer.
This is bad, in this posture...
Airi seems to have noticed the change in me too.
Looking slightly down, she smiles bashfully.
"Thank goodness. I was worried that maybe I had no charm as a woman."
"There's no way that's true..."
"Thank you..."
I-isn't there some clever word I can say?
"I love you."
No answer comes back.
It seems she fell asleep.
I'll try to sleep too...
Like a baby held by its mother, I fell fast asleep.
That's why I didn't notice.
"I love you too."
Airi's words whispered in my ear.