Chapter 333 - I Love You
(1)
"Good morning, Toya-kun. Wake up quickly! It's time for breakfast."
Airi's tension is high from the start of the morning.
Did something good happen?
"Good morning, Airi. You're energetic this morning."
"You think so~?"
"Yeah, did something good happen?"
"Eh...?"
This "eh?" is a bad "eh?". Did I step on a landmine?
But Airi's smile doesn't crumble.
"Isn't the fact that I'm on a trip with Toya-kun reason enough?"
"No, I mean your tension is exceptionally high today..."
"Because it's the last day. I thought I'd spend it happily... and besides."
"And besides."
Airi clings to me.
"I'm just happy because Toya-kun is kind every day~"
I see.
"I wish you'd always wake up honestly like this."
"I'll make an effort."
"Mm. Then, hurry up and wash your face, change, and let's go to breakfast, okay?"
"Got it."
When I finish preparing and changing as Airi told me to, Airi is overturning my bag.
"What are you doing?"
"Toya-kun, you're a husband who can't keep things organized, aren't you? Your bag was stuffed, so when I looked, your clothes were all crumpled. It's a pain to get the wrinkles out~"
"That can wait until later, so let's go to breakfast, okay?"
"Oka~y."
When we return from breakfast, Airi begins continuing the work from before.
When I try to help, saying it's my own luggage, Airi stops me.
"Toya-kun's folding is sloppy, so I'll do it."
Since I don't want to fight on the final day, I watch Airi's work without getting in her way.
Since the return flight is in the afternoon, we have plenty of time.
We spend time at the hotel until the very limit of checkout, then take a direct bus to the airport.
There is still time before the flight.
We walk through the airport to eat lunch.
There were various eateries, but I stopped at one shop.
"What's wrong?"
"You said I could eat whatever I wanted this time, right?"
"Yeah, is there something?"
"Let's go to this shop."
It was a udon shop.
"You want to eat udon after coming all the way to Tokyo?"
Airi is exasperated.
Airi doesn't understand; it's because it's Tokyo that it's udon.
"Look, they were talking about it on TV, that Tokyo udon is black. I was curious about that."
"Hmm. Well, if that's fine with you, then it's fine."
When I enter the udon shop with Airi and look at the menu, I am shocked.
Even for airport prices, this price for simple tempura udon is too high!
"Airi, which one will you have?"
"Since we're here, I'll have the tempura udon~ If I can't finish it, Toya-kun, please eat it."
"Got it."
And then, the pitch-black udon arrived.
When I scooped up a bit of the broth, it wasn't cloudy.
I try drinking the broth. It's sweet-salty, or rather sweet, or something is different...
It seems Airi had the same impression. Her expression is grim.
It was udon with such a subtle impression, but I ate it all without leaving anything.
It didn't seem to suit Airi's taste, as she left most of it.
I'll eat that too.
When it comes to that, I become worried about Airi's stomach.
"Airi, shall we go eat something at one more place?"
Poke
"You're just saying that because Toya-kun wants to eat, right? The promise that you could eat whatever you wanted ended with the last one~"
"No, Airi, you might get hungry on the plane, right?"
"I'll be fine!"
Fighting at the very end after coming this far isn't a good option.
We go to a souvenir shop and buy some sweets.
"Hey! I told you it's over already!"
"It's not for me to eat. It's for Airi to eat."
"Hoe?"
"You barely ate anything earlier. I just bought them just in case because I'm worried about my bride. I don't want you to feel embarrassed by your stomach growling."
"Uuu... then, okay."
After completing boarding procedures and going through the security check, we wait in the lobby.
When the announcement for boarding begins, we board the plane.
Airi lets me have the window seat again.
"Now all that's left is to go home."
"That's true."
"We were able to make a lot of memories, weren't we?"
"Yeah."
"Next time will be September, I guess? There are the Olympics in August."
"That'll be the case."
"Do your best."
"Thank you."
Ding—and the seatbelt sign lights up.
Finally, takeoff.
(2)
"Saki. I'm ready~"
"Wait just a little more... OK."
We set out early in the morning.
Since it was to see how the adjustments to Saki's car turned out, I decided to go a bit far.
After confirming that Saki got into the passenger seat and fastened her seatbelt, I slowly pull the car out.
After buying drinks and such at a convenience store near the IC, we enter the highway northbound lane.
"So, where are we going?"
"A museum in Kitakyushu."
"You were interested in something like that?"
"I heard it was there, so I wanted to try going."
The distance isn't bad either.
The car's condition doesn't seem bad.
It's cruising comfortably.
There are disadvantages to lowering the horsepower, but on Japanese highways, this should be no problem.
"Heh... I didn't notice when I drove it myself, but the feel has changed quite a bit."
Saki evaluates it so.
After taking a break at the Beppu PA, we go straight to Kitakyushu.
Saki puts on a CD.
It's a CD of a group that Katagiri-kun likes.
"What kind of things do you listen to, Yuma?"
"I don't think there's anything I particularly like."
However, since I often go to karaoke with the Watanabe group, I make sure to watch music programs without fail.
That's about it.
If I had to say, maybe the 70s kayoukyoku songs that were at home?
"So old-school!"
I was dismissed by Saki.
Because of the kind of car it is, we are tailgated.
Cars that tailgate as much as they can and then suddenly overtake us.
Is there any meaning in speeding like idiots in a car whose selling point is fuel efficiency?
"You mustn't deal with people like that!"
"I know."
But there is something I'm curious about.
"Why did you choose this car, Saki?"
"Because it's cool."
"Just that?"
"It was before I met you, so it was an era where I lived only on vanity and pride."
I see.
"Thinking about it now, I regret doing such a stupid thing."
"Katagiri-senpai said. That the accumulation of the past is the present. If even one piece of the past disappears, the present will crumble. That there is no such thing as a useless past."
"...As expected of Toya-kun. The things you say are different."
"I guess so."
Some mysterious power dwells in that person's words.
Though it seems he's completely useless regarding himself.
When we arrived at the museum, we looked around at the exhibits.
Apparently, photography is permitted except for some parts.
I want to walk around and look at each one carefully, but...
Saki didn't allow that. Apparently, she has no interest in these things.
"Do all men long for this kind of thing?"
"I don't think it's everyone."
"You have parts of you that are different from others. Looking around carefully at buildings and structures... look, the steelworks tour we went to before was like that too."
"I get curious about how people made something like this? What kind of mechanism is it?"
"Have just as much interest in me."
"I do."
What kind of actions does the person called Saki react to, and how does she respond? I am still making a manual for Saki.
"In the Watanabe group style, I guess I'm making an instruction manual for Saki?"
"Heh, let me see that."
"It's a secret."
"Stingy."
Saki says that and goes ahead.
On the way back, we ate udon at an udon chain and returned.
I even feel admiration for the construction of the Fukuoka roads.
From the Fukuoka road, we entered the Higashi-Kyushu Expressway and went straight home.
At night, we settle for a family restaurant.
Because I thought it would be bad to make Saki do housework while she's tired.
"The consecutive holidays end today."
"That's true."
"It's the last day off, you know?"
"Did something happen?"
"...Are you really making an instruction manual for me? I really want to see it once."
Ah, so that's it.
I pull Saki's shoulder close.
"I love you."
Her cheeks turned red for a moment, but she puffed them out and spoke.
"I wouldn't marry someone I didn't love."
That's also true.
That night, I tried pouring all the affection I had into Saki.
(3)
Preparations are complete.
While waiting in the living room, the intercom rings.
When I hurry out, Sho-chan is standing there.
"Were you perhaps waiting? Was I a little late?"
"Not at all, I just left the room now."
"I see, then shall we go?"
"Yeah."
Today is an outing to Hita.
We go to Hita by highway.
There is an old-fashioned castle town.
I go around taking photos, while Sho-chan looks at me with exasperation.
"You saw this kind of thing in Taketa too, didn't you?"
"We only passed through Taketa, didn't we?"
We walk for about two hours and eat Hita yakisoba.
"It's not really something you'd go all the way to Hita to eat."
It's not a new story that Sho-chan isn't honest.
"It's delicious because I came with Sho-chan."
"Is that how it works?"
"Yeah."
After eating the yakisoba, we go back, but...
"I want to go back via the national highway, is that okay?"
"It's okay, but what's wrong?"
Usually, he'd want to go back quickly.
Come to think of it, he went the long way back yesterday too.
"I'll tell you later."
Sho-chan says that and goes down the national highway.
During that time, Sho-chan listened to my stories and gave nods of agreement.
Occasionally, Sho-chan would speak to me.
I listened to those stories.
Being able to enjoy such a leisurely time with Sho-chan.
It was like a dream.
I wished it would last forever. That's what I thought.
But as the sun sets, we return to our hometown.
"The sun has set, so we'll eat dinner or something, right?"
"Yeah."
Did he think about it a little today?
We eat at a restaurant in a shopping mall.
When the meal ended, I thought we'd go home... but he stops the car at the park from yesterday.
As if the time until then was a lie, it's wrapped in silence, and an awkward atmosphere flows.
What's wrong, Sho-chan?
"We've been playing the whole time during the consecutive holidays, but..."
"Yeah."
"It was different after all."
Eh?
"I thought the time I spent with Iori was boring or irritating, but it's not that. I realized that the time I spend slowly with Iori is very important."
"Yeah."
"It might be too late now, but Iori. I love you."
"..."
Tears trace down my cheeks.
Sho-chan is bewildered seeing me like that.
"Thank you, I love Sho-chan too."
"I might not have the right to say this, but I want you to keep dating me from now on."
"I might be a woman who is completely useless compared to Sho-chan, but please take care of me."
"I'll take care of you too."
I love Sho-chan.
It's fine if there's no greater meaning than this for me to live.
The feelings with nowhere to go that waited for you float in the night sky.
I love Sho-chan.
Following an indecisive melody, I burn with longing.
(4)
A stadium wrapped in cheers.
I was cheering for the local team fighting to achieve promotion to J1.
The local team was winning the match.
I was intoxicated by the mood around me.
And I forgot.
The existence of the advisor sitting next to me.
The local team, which brilliantly defended the first-half lead, won.
The crowd surges.
When the match ends, everyone leaves the venue.
I am immersed in the afterglow while heading back.
And then I suddenly remember. My boyfriend who came to watch with me.
I've done it.
I apologize to the advisor.
But the advisor was laughing.
"No, it was interesting. Watching Sakurako cheer so enthusiastically."
"I'm sorry, I just got caught up in it."
We go to the parking lot by shuttle bus and get into the car.
"Hey, if Toya hadn't been there, would you have gone to the Soccer Club? If Toya had chosen soccer, would you have gone to the Soccer Club?"
"I suppose so..."
"Then, I'm grateful to Toya. Because if Toya hadn't been there, we wouldn't have even met."
"That's true."
And I probably wouldn't have even fallen in love.
"Encountering each other is a miracle... that might certainly be so."
the advisor suddenly lets slip.
"Encountering each other might be a miracle, but I think it's the advisor himself who scores the goal."
"Sakurako?"
"Can I talk about when Katagiri-senpai was playing soccer?"
"Yeah, sure."
"The soccer play of Katagiri-senpai that I saw for the first time was just a single play."
"Eh?"
That one play was a miracle.
Creating a miracle with just one play, and then Tada-senpai scores.
It was the same in high school. A senior who captivates the audience with just one play.
It doesn't change in basketball either.
"What are you trying to say, Sakurako?"
"It's that the miracles you create are nothing more than a trigger. There are players who miss the shot just because the ball suddenly came to them. Your miracles change depending on the person receiving them."
Do you understand? This meaning.
"You mean that I was the one who decided it in the end?"
"That's right."
"I see..."
"I am grateful to the advisor too. If the advisor hadn't confessed back then, there would be no current happiness. For me, meeting the advisor is the miracle."
Thinking about what if the partner wasn't the advisor is just a waste of time.
Because the partner was the advisor, I took action. That's all there is to it.
"I love the advisor... isn't that enough?"
"...Thank you."
I love you.
It's fine if there's no greater meaning than this for me to live.
The car arrived at the advisor's house.
"See ya."
"See you tomorrow."
You are here, allowing me to say "see you tomorrow."
While savoring that fact, I returned home.
(5)
I came again today.
Cafe Blue Bird.
The cafe where the woman I fell in love with for the first time in my life is.
Clink clink
"...Welcome."
She shows a look of exasperation for a moment upon seeing my face.
"The usual for your order?"
"Yeah, the usual."
"Understood."
Saying that, she sticks the slip in the kitchen.
I sit at the counter seat.
The surroundings are occupied by the usual people, the Watanabe group.
"You're quite persistent, aren't you?"
Ai-senpai says.
"If I could give up easily, I wouldn't be struggling."
"Well, that's true, but still."
"Just struggle as much as you can. There's no one in the Watanabe group who thinks that's pathetic."
Akira-senpai says.
However, I myself was starting to have some worries.
Isn't stalking her any further nothing other than a nuisance?
"Thank you for waiting. Here is your coffee."
She gently places the coffee on the counter table.
Her hand is shaking, the cup makes a clinking sound, and the black liquid is waving.
"You really love it, don't you? Coffee."
She spoke to me across the table.
"Well, yeah, the coffee here is delicious."
"Thank you very much."
"Thanks, big brother! You've been coming every day lately, are you also a companion of Sakai-kun and the others?"
The Master in the kitchen speaks to me.
"Yes, I joined recently, I'm called Kuribayashi."
"You're multiplying more and more. For a while, I thought it had become a dangerous group, but lately it's returned to the usual scenery."
"Is that so."
"So, who do you love?"
The Master asked a question.
I struggled with the answer.
Whether it's okay to answer honestly.
I feel like Kitamura-san is listening seriously too.
Everyone around is waiting for my one word.
Akira-senpai next to me is looking at me as if to say "say it".
If this doesn't work, I'll give up.
"The one I love is..."
I draw attention.
"Misato Kitamura-san."
I said it.
There's no taking it back now.
"Oh~ so that was it!? Are you two dating?"
The Master's relentless pursuit.
"We aren't dating. I have no intention of dating."
Sighs of disappointment leak from everyone.
I also let out a sigh.
First loves don't go well.
I was prepared.
"Was that so? What a waste? What part of Kuribayashi-kun does Kitamura-san not like? Isn't he a good man?"
"Because I'm not interested."
"You're a college student, right? I think it would be fine to make a girlfriend or something."
The owner says.
"It's a hassle, so I'll pass."
Every single word of hers pierces through.
This is the first time I've been rejected like this. I've never been rejected, and this is the first time I've even confessed.
When I finish drinking the coffee, I head to the register.
She is struggling with the cash register.
After paying the money and receiving the change, I turn on my heel and leave the shop.
"Again!"
Suddenly, she raises her voice.
Everyone pays attention.
"We look forward to your next visit."
She says to come again.
She says it's okay to come again.
I didn't understand the meaning.
Just once more, I'll convey my feelings.
"Kitamura-san, I love you!"
She did not respond to those words.
I left the shop.
I asked the Watanabe group what I should do from now on.
The answer came back immediately.
"Of course you should keep coming."
Does that mean there's a chance?
While being shaken by the train on the way back, I thought only of her.
(6)
"The one I love is Misato Kitamura-san."
Why me?
When the part-time job ends, I change out of my uniform into the usual jacket, T-shirt, and denim pants.
And I was looking in the mirror.
How do I look to him right now?
How do I look, not even wearing makeup?
For the first time in my life, I received a confession.
"There's no man who would take you as a bride."
A single word said by Father.
The words I showered upon him were
"We aren't dating, I have no intention of dating."
A cold word. Would it have been better to respond more sincerely?
However, if I'm going to refuse anyway, it's better to push him away so there isn't a second time.
It's tedious to repeat the same words over and over.
And yet, why did I say it?
"We look forward to your next visit."
Did I think I want to meet him again?
When I get on the train, I think while gazing at the scenery that is the same as always.
The scenery that is the same as always is good.
I want a daily life that is the same as always.
And yet, he finally tried to break through my shell.
I didn't waver.
Did I really not waver?
Even though I'm hoping to meet him again?
Calm down.
My position is a clerk.
There's no way I can tell him never to come again.
That's right, I just said something that is natural for the job.
When I get off the train, I change platforms, board a train, and wait for departure.
In a corner of a tiny town, I think.
Something natural for the job...
While it makes me feel easier, for some reason there was a part of me that felt empty.
The train departs.
And when I get off at the destination station, I look up at the sky.
A cloudy moon is floating, softly and emptily appealing something to us who are becoming stained.
The moon speaks again today.
So that I don't make everything into nothing.
Because humans are not that strong, oh soul that cares for the person currently beside you.
Should I go with the convenience store or a bento today?
I walk while thinking about such things.
I chose the convenience store.
After buying water and a bento, I return home.
Home is a one-room apartment.
The usual sight looks faded.
My heart hurts.
What should I do from now on?
What should I do from now on?
I was asking the Watanabe group that.
I expected to be told to date him, but no one says anything.
Eventually, one sentence came back.
"While crying, we go on embracing sadness. While laughing, we go toward the other side of a new world."
A riddle?
Have I lived a sad life?
Is happiness waiting in the life I try to head toward?
No one knows the answer.
They say I should find it myself.
While questioning myself, I ate my meal, took a shower, lived my usual life, and fell asleep.
(7)
"Uuu..."
Airi and I, who returned home, were watching TV while organizing luggage.
Airi's working hands have stopped and she is looking at her smartphone.
"Toya-kun~ I don't understand the meaning~"
Airi clung to me.
I answer with a laugh.
"It means there's no use regretting after the fact."
"Hoe?"
"It means that no matter how much you regret it, things already done cannot be undone, no one knows how it will turn out, so let's accept the future with a smile."
"If that's it, you should just say it clearly."
"I thought it would be better to make you think a little. Airi, do you want to take the bath first?"
"Toya-kun can go first. I'm not finished tidying up yet."
"Got it. I'll be in for a bit."
After saying that and taking a bath, when I returned, Airi was waiting.
"It's okay, go on in."
"Mm."
While Airi is in the bath, I play a game.
A new software.
An impactful story.
While I'm accidentally getting absorbed in playing...
Poke
"Toya-kun, that's unfair! You're progressing in the game while I'm gone!"
"Airi, you were bad at this kind of thing, weren't you?"
"Things you're bad at are meant to be overcome!"
"That's true."
I laugh.
Airi relentlessly resets the game console.
"Airi, what are you doing!?"
"Booo. Since I'm watching, start over from the beginning!"
"What a troublesome bride."
"Games allow you to start over as many times as you want, you know?"
Airi says that and laughs.
I start over from the beginning again.
If my hand could wipe away your tears, that would be wonderful, but...
You probably also hide a domain that you don't want anyone to step into, similar to me.
But there is definitely someone who will gently enter that domain.
So, please have courage and accept the future with a smile.
If one more wish could still come true
If I spend the day vaguely expanding such fantasies, the answer squeezed out on a night when the moon also clouds is...
"I love you."
"Hoe?"
It's fine if there's no greater meaning than this for me to live.
"What's wrong all of a sudden?"
"The words I wanted to tell Airi most right now."
"Ehehe~"
Saying that, Airi turns off the power to the game console.
"Airi, what are you doing again!?"
"Game time is over for today! School starts tomorrow, so let's go to sleep early, okay?"
Airi says that and gets into bed, urging me to come.
"Truly a troublesome bride."
After putting away the controller, I turn off the TV, lower the lights, and get into bed.
The moon tells the life bestowed upon this body, entrusted to shine strongly.
Forgetting the present that was above the sadness, it spoke regardless of for whom it was.
The moon speaks again today.
So that we do not forget everything.