Chapter 73 - Density of Love Time
(1)
"Toya-kun, morning~"
Honestly, Airi's bouncy voice is basically like an alarm clock.
I wish she'd do something about the fact that it keeps ringing even after I click the switch.
"If you don't get up, you'll be late~"
See?
There is only one way to stop the switch.
I scratch my head as I sit up.
Lately, Kanna has been coming into the room with her, so I can't use the method of hugging her to stop her.
Once she confirms that I've woken up, she says, "I'll be waiting downstairs~" and moves to the living room.
I change my clothes and leave the room.
Airi has been in a great mood since the start of the new year.
I don't know what the cause is.
Since there's no reason to go out of my way to make her moody, I don't ask.
In times like this, asking a little bit on the way to school is probably the best way to avoid her getting moody by clumsily asking "Why are you in such a good mood?" only to get a negative reaction with a "You don't know?"
But those circumstances don't matter to Mother.
"Airi-chan, you've been awfully smiley lately. Did something happen?"
"Yes!"
Airi replies with a loud voice.
Kanna, perhaps knowing the reason, is smirking beside her.
It's better not to pry in times like this.
It'll either ruin the mood or the story will drag on.
Neither is a good strategy when you're busy with morning preparations.
I think the best approach is probably to ask a little bit on the way to school.
Because if I don't ask at all, she'll probably get moody about that too.
After eating, I get ready and return to the living room.
Seeing this, the two of them stand up and head for the entrance.
"I'm off!"
I say that to Mother and the others and leave the house.
"So, what happened?"
I start the continuation of the conversation from earlier.
"Hmm? Nothing in particular happened~"
The answer I expected came back.
If I'm too persistent, she'll probably dislike it, so I don't ask any further.
"Kanna, Makoto and the others worked hard. I didn't think they'd make it to the third round."
"You think so too, huh. You should send a message directly to Makoto later."
Kanna is also in a good mood.
I wonder what's up, considering tests start today?
"What's wrong?"
Perhaps my confusion showed on my face, as Airi looks at me curiously.
It's dangerous if you don't look ahead while riding a bicycle.
I don't say that out loud.
I wonder what I should say.
If I think about it too much, I'll end up making her worry instead.
"No, it's just that you're both in such a good mood. I just thought it was a bit strange."
I'm probably not wrong.
As if to prove it, Airi beams a smile.
"It's thanks to Toya-kun~"
I see, it's thanks to me.
In that case, please give me something as a reward.
No, I should probably settle this by saying "That smile is enough."
Of course, I don't say that.
Because she didn't say "I have to give you a reward."
As for Kanna, the reason remained unknown as usual.
Well, Makoto probably did something.
"Did something happen with Makoto?"
I don't ask such tactless things.
I'm not expecting a proper answer anyway, and if she were to answer properly, Kanna would have spoken up long ago.
There's also the possibility of it being a secret between just the two of them.
A secret between just the two of them, huh.
Makoto probably knows a lot about a Kanna that I don't know.
If we were at the same school, I'd want to press her about it during a school trip or something.
"Why have you been looking at Kanna for a while now~?"
Airi asked.
Damn, it seems I thought about Kanna too much.
She'll get moody again.
Is there some safe way to handle this?
...Maybe it's better to just be honest?
"No, Kanna's in a good mood too, so I was just a bit curious."
"Ah, I thought that too. Kanna, did something happen?"
It seems Airi didn't know either.
I thought Kanna would give the expected answer.
"No, Makoto came over at the end of winter break..."
She spoke quite readily.
Did she judge that it wasn't something worth hiding?
"Heh, so what happened?"
I think it's a bit much to dig that deep, Airi.
But Kanna spoke again in a great mood.
"What do you mean 'what happened'... it's the usual. He stays over at my house, we go on a date the next day, and then he goes back to the dorms."
The usual, huh. Was Makoto staying over at Kanna's house that frequently?
Is dorm life that lax?
"Does Makoto-kun stay over that often?"
Don't bombard her with questions without mercy, Airi.
"It's not that frequent. Unlike you guys, Makoto lives in a dorm. Because of that, we spend high-density time together."
I wonder what high-density time is like?
Does it mean making the most of limited time?
"I see~ you can't see each other much. But you exchange calls and messages, right?"
Airi has turned into a neighborhood gossip lady.
But perhaps Kanna's mood is exceptionally good, as she talks eloquently.
"Yeah, Makoto is attentive. He calls me right around the time my part-time job ends. Anyway, enough about us, how about you and Airi?"
Well, it was bound to go that way, right?
Airi speaks happily.
"Toya-kun has been so kind since the end of the year! We're just totally lovey-dovey."
Ugh, are you really saying that in front of me?
Kanna is looking at me with a smirk, saying "Heh."
"You guys are lucky, always being together."
Does Kanna want to be with Makoto too, after all?
Well, that makes sense.
Even if they were at the same school, Makoto lives in a dorm.
The time they spend together is probably only while at school.
Their classes are likely different, so it's probably not much different from now.
Still, it seems Makoto visits Kanna's house quite attentively, and that's probably why their current relationship continues.
It's something that can be done because it's Kanna and Makoto; it's doubtful if Airi and I could do the same thing.
Even when we were always together, the fights were endless.
Fortunately, there have been no fights so far this year.
If possible, I want to continue living peacefully like this.
"Toya-kun, what's wrong?"
Airi asked while parking her bicycle in the school parking lot.
"Ah, sorry. I got lost in thought again."
"What were you thinking about so hard?"
If I say I was thinking about Kanna, it'll be a huge fight again.
On the other hand, if I say "It's nothing," it'll still be a fight.
What should I do?
"Toya, don't make me say it again. I told you not to worry."
"I'm not worrying."
I'm just hesitating.
If I speak exactly as I feel, it'll lead to another fight.
But if I deliberate too long, she'll get moody instead...
Oh, whatever!
"No, I just thought that Airi and I couldn't do something like Kanna and the others."
"Wh—why?"
Contrary to her words, Airi's expression becomes grim.
That's what I hated...
Now what?
Should I act on my feelings?
I feel like that's definitely wrong in this case.
"Even though we're this close, the fights are endless, so a long-distance romance would be absolutely impossible, right?"
"Hmm, when you put it that way, it would be impossible."
Airi is clearly depressed.
"Isn't it fine? It's just that Kanna and the others had their own way of doing things. We have a way that suits us. If things are good now, isn't that enough?"
I intended to excuse myself skillfully.
Even if I intended to say something good, there's no substance to it.
In the end, we're not suited for long-distance, but because we're close, it's working out. Isn't that fine?
That's all there is to it.
There's no need to think about it in a complicated way.
"You're right."
Airi seems to have been convinced as well.
"If you don't hurry, I'm leaving you behind."
Kanna is already ahead.
"Wait for me~"
Airi chases after her.
I followed after them.
(2)
The tests ended.
However, there's no time to rest.
There are still two mock exams left this month.
One doesn't matter since I'm not aiming for it, but I want to prepare properly for the other one.
That said, the only thing I can do is review.
Should I have gone to a cram school?
Was it a mistake to take it with the same feeling as the high school entrance exams?
Airi hasn't changed at all.
Kanna is apparently studying by cutting into her gaming time.
I... haven't changed.
Am I not the one currently on the borderline?
I hope I'm at least within the borderline...
Airi speaks to me as I panic.
"If you're nervous now, you'll make mistakes during the real thing," she says.
Even so, I still end up getting fired up.
Did she find that unbearable to watch?
10 PM.
"That's it for today!"
Eh? Isn't this earlier than usual?
However, Airi puts away her study tools and snatches the study tools from me.
The homework is done, but there's still the part I haven't done.
Regardless of that, Airi urges me to lie down on the bed.
Reluctantly, I lie face down as told.
Then, Airi straddles me and begins a massage.
"You're quite stiff, customer~"
While making such a joke.
"It's not like everything is decided by this next mock exam... there are still two years until the real thing, right? Relax, relax more."
"You can only say that because you're Airi."
"Am I becoming a burden again?"
When I heard those words, I thought, Damn!
How many times do I have to make the same mistake?
There's still a chance to make up for it, right?
"That's not it, it's just that it's my first time, right? A mock exam. That's why I'm nervous."
I'm not lying.
If I were to get an E grade here, I think I wouldn't be able to face Airi, who has been making me study, but I don't say that.
Because she'd likely interpret that as "becoming a burden."
Rather, I'm more often anxious that I'm becoming a burden to Airi.
I don't want to make Airi worry.
"Are you thinking about something again? Haven't you been thinking a lot lately, Toya-kun?"
Airi says worriedly.
Yes, I am exactly doing that right now.
It's not good to deliberate too long.
Act on your feelings.
Is that the same for speaking?
But people also say to think carefully before speaking.
Ah, oh no. I'm thinking about various things again.
If I don't say something, I'll make Airi worry.
"Hey, Toya-kun."
Saying that, Airi stops the massage and hugs me.
The only saving grace was that I was face down.
If we were facing each other on our backs, there would surely be no stopping it.
Any healthy boy would understand, right?
"Toya-kun gets nervous when it's his first time and messes everything up, so let's relax. The usual Toya-kun will surely be fine... also."
Is there something else?
Even if it's not the first time, I'm actually nervous right now.
Did Airi get bigger again?
That soft thing, which feels larger than usual, is being pressed against my back, and my thoughts are panicking.
"I'll put some pressure on Toya-kun; if Toya-kun fails, I'll be a ronin with you."
Huh?
What is this girl saying?
Assuming it's almost impossible for Airi to fail, is she saying she'll give up the university she passed if I fail?
"I can only put pressure on Toya-kun like this, but I want to be with Toya-kun forever..."
"...Now I really can't afford to make mistakes."
"Let's think positively, okay? Even if you fail, there's a next time. I'll just follow behind you."
Just how positive do you have to be to reach that state of mind?
If I fail and make Airi a ronin, I'll never be able to hold my head up to the Tosaka family for the rest of my life.
"You just have to not fail. I'm telling you, it'll be fine. Toya-kun's rank has been going up lately. Even in the last test."
Airi encourages me with all her might.
Whether that's actually encouraging is a separate issue.
Who would have imagined that at age 16, I'd be carrying her life on my shoulders?
Even in a situation that most boys would find unbeatable—having her pressed against my back—my mood doesn't get excited at all.
But if I don't say something, I'll make Airi anxious again.
"...You're right."
That was the most I could say.
Did she realize my state of mind?
"Sorry. It is a nuisance, isn't it?"
Since I'm face down, I can't see her face, but I can roughly imagine what kind of expression she's making.
Sorry.
If I don't say something, she looks like she's about to burst into tears.
What do I do?
"Airi, I have a request."
"...Wha~t?"
"I want to change the way I'm facing, so could you get up for a little bit?"
"?"
Airi moves aside a little, and I turn onto my back.
Now I can see Airi's face.
As I thought, tears were pooling in her eyes.
I hug Airi.
A question mark is probably floating above Airi's head. No, is it an exclamation mark?
"Airi, you said it before. That love is accepting everything about the other person, including their flaws."
"Yeah."
"Airi's words. I'll accept them as Airi's expectations for me. They're very large, but."
"...Is that still a burden?"
How many people are there who don't consider it a burden when their actions influence another person's life?
But I can't say such things now.
"I told you, right? They're expectations. They're too big, but I'll do my best to meet them."
It's all in how you say it.
If you think about things just a little bit more positively, they can be perceived however you want.
...Though there's also the possibility of being crushed by expectations.
But if it becomes energy to work just a little harder... huh? Airi is crying.
Did I say something bad?
Was it a failure?
"Toya-kun... thank you. If I can be of help, I'll support you with all my might too."
"I'm already getting plenty of support."
Is it my imagination, or did the strength of Airi's hug get a little stronger?
For now, I guess I succeeded in comforting Airi?
I feel like I was the one being comforted at first, but oh well.
(3)
The mock exam results...
Airi was, naturally, an A grade.
Kanna was a C grade.
And I... was an A!
"It's still a first-year mock exam! Don't be satisfied with the current results!"
Harsh words from Mizuta-sensei.
For now, let's consider it a win.
"You did it, Toya-kun!"
As if she doesn't know the phrase "mind the public eye," Airi hugs me.
This is a classroom, you know.
Well, everyone is watching with a feeling of "at this point, whatever."
Kanna's result wasn't that bad either.
I wonder if she's now motivated to go to university?
I'll try asking her on the way home.
"Eh? I wonder. It seems kind of ambiguous."
"That's not true. If you work hard, you can make it! It was written on the internet. People pass even with an E grade! If it's a C, it's a piece of cake."
...Airi will probably never know the word "frustration" in her entire life.
I saw that internet information too. It said people can fail even with an A grade.
Well, in Airi's case, since she got an A grade even in the HL mock exam, the local university should be a piece of cake.
Me? There's no point in asking, right?
Because I have no intention of going.
If I say that, Airi is the same.
Because from the start, she's only thought about going to the same university as me.
Couldn't she go to a better university?
I don't care about that anymore.
If Airi says she wants to go, I should just let her.
That's probably what accepting someone means.
In reality, the ideal would be for me to work hard and pass the university Airi wants to go to.
But in the first place, Airi doesn't even have the intention of getting a job, so any university is probably the same.
Well, for me, it's a grateful choice.
I'll take advantage of Airi's kindness.
In exchange, I absolutely have to pass on my first try.
"Hey, are you listening, Toya-kun?"
Airi calls out loudly.
W-what?
"You say it too, Toya-kun! Tell Kanna to go to university together."
"That's why... I told you I'll think about it once we're in our third year, right? It's still a story for the future."
Ah, so that's the argument they were having.
"...Toya-kun, you were thinking about something again, weren't you?"
"Again, huh. How many times do I have to tell you not to think about anything."
"...Isn't it fine? Just let Kanna pursue the goal she wants."
"Toya-kun?"
What is this? This feeling of enlightenment.
I'm bathing in the surprised gazes of the two of them.
You both need to look ahead or it'll be dangerous.
"Airi is going to the same university as me. If I fail, she'll be a ronin with me. It's the same thing, right? Kanna has her own thoughts."
"Wait a minute, what's this about being a ronin together!"
You'd think so, right.
"If there's anyone in a position to say this or that about Kanna's path now, it'd be her aunt or Makoto, right?"
"Wait, Toya-kun, isn't that a bit cold? We're friends."
"Precisely because we're friends, isn't it important to let her choose the path she likes?"
"Toya, you're different today..."
Airi still doesn't seem convinced.
"She says she hasn't decided yet, so let her choose as she likes. I think supporting that is what being a friend is."
"...Yeah, I get it."
Airi seemed not entirely satisfied.
(4)
"Hey."
The night the results came out, I'm studying with Airi.
Kanna is at her part-time job.
"What is it?"
Airi, who is still not convinced, is playing by spinning her pen, unlike usual.
"Why did you take Kanna's side? Do you like Kanna?"
First, I want to ask how it leads to that, but in order to make Airi's studying progress, I decided to answer her question.
"If you mean as a lover, it's a no. I have Airi, after all."
"Then why?"
"Airi. Even if you think you're right, I think it's questionable to force that on others."
"Is that how it looks to Toya-kun?"
"I think anyone who saw it would think so."
"I see..."
Airi is depressed.
"I understand what you're saying, Airi. But just as you prioritize me above all else, I think Kanna has things she prioritizes too. When Kanna is worrying and standing still, we should just gently push her back."
"Toya-kun, is something wrong today? You've been strange since this afternoon. Something's different."
"I'm the same as always."
"Liar, you suddenly started saying things like you've attained enlightenment, and maybe your soul has actually changed... or, you didn't go crazy from studying too much for the mock exam, did you?"
How rude.
It's as if I usually think of nothing but food.
But there's no point in being indignant.
"Airi, if I've changed, it was probably New Year's Eve last year. Because you accepted everything about me then, I'm very relaxed now. That's why I think I've gained the leeway to look at others."
"Toya-kun... you've changed. I'm happy."
Don't cry, you mustn't cry.
"Let's indulge in that after studying, okay? After that, let's flirt thoroughly."
"...Basically, you just want to flirt."
She says it with a sigh, but she didn't say no.
After that, the two of us proceed with our studies while chatting.
I suppose days like this will continue from here on.
I hope they continue.
Days of peaceful respite where nothing happens.
Days where nothing happens, but are fulfilling because of it.
I want to spend high-density time.
I thought so from the bottom of my heart.