Chapter 74 - Two Hearts
(1)
"Good morning, Toya-kun~"
Yeah, same as always.
I get up and check on Airi.
Huh?
She has dark circles under her eyes.
Was there something keeping her awake?
But she looks kind of happy, or maybe embarrassed.
Did something happen?
I tilt my head a bit and think.
If it were the Airi from a little while ago, she probably would have gotten angry.
"You dense idiot!!" she would have said.
But this year's Airi was kind.
When she said, "You didn't notice, did you?" she gave me a present.
It was politely wrapped with a ribbon.
Hmm, was it some kind of anniversary?
...Ah!
"Thank you."
When I thanked her, Airi replied with a smile.
"You finally noticed."
Today is February 14th.
Valentine's Day.
She gives it to me first thing in the morning.
"Yo, Toya. This is from me too."
I also received chocolate from Kanna, who was standing behind Airi.
"Thanks."
However, joy turns into despair.
Today is February 14th. Which means tomorrow is the 15th.
It's been exactly four years since Airi and I started dating.
My head was so full of tests that I hadn't noticed.
Should I rush out and buy something today?
But what?
I panic.
Seeing me like that, she must have realized what I was thinking.
Airi asked Kanna to go downstairs first, then whispered to me.
"Let's study just the two of us tomorrow! It's a weekday anyway."
"Eh, but..."
"I told you before, right? 'Just the two of us relaxing is fine.'"
If I could just say, "Yes, I see," then I wouldn't be struggling.
While I'm still feeling conflicted, Airi continued to whisper.
"It's much better than you worrying about something and keeping secrets from me."
My means of escape were completely blocked.
I'm sorry, Airi.
For being so pathetic.
From next year on, I'll prepare much further in advance.
However, it seems Airi is reading my heart perfectly.
"Next year, the year after, it's fine if it's always the same. Use that time for studying. Just being with me is enough."
"...I understand."
When I reluctantly agreed, Airi replied with a smile.
And then the two of us headed to the dining room.
While I was eating breakfast, Airi and Kanna were talking about something together.
It's probably about tomorrow.
Airi is bowing her head.
"Oh, sure thing."
Kanna's voice sounds particularly loud.
"In exchange, I can't go home with you for a bit tonight either."
Is she going to give chocolate to Makoto?
I could guess that much.
"That's fine, then could you give mine as well?"
Airi said that, took a small package out of her bag, and handed it to Kanna.
"Okay. I'll make sure to give it to him."
Saying so, Kanna put the package in her bag.
Watching that exchange, I finished my meal and got ready.
Once I finished preparing, I left the house.
(2)
Today, after finishing school, I was heading toward Ida High.
The uphill climb is tough.
When I finally arrived, I waited in front of the school gate.
Naturally, students of Ida High were heading home in droves.
A girl in a different uniform stood in front of the gate.
She must stand out tremendously.
Everyone is staring.
...Come to think of it, Makoto is in club activities.
I guess I have no choice but to wait until night?
For now, I send a message.
"I'm waiting in front of the school gate."
Before long, Makoto appeared.
Makoto, drenched in sweat in his Soccer Club jersey.
As I thought, he was in the middle of practice.
"You were practicing, right? Sorry about that."
"Nah, it's fine. I just happened to be on a ten-minute break."
It seems he flew over after seeing his smartphone during that time.
"So, what's up?"
I hand over a wrapped package from inside my bag. It's Airi's portion.
"This is from Airi."
"Eh?" he makes a puzzled face.
"Tell her 'thanks, thank you' for me."
His tone is clearly dark.
"Is this the only business you had?"
Makoto asked.
There's no way that's all.
I'm not Airi's delivery service.
I remain silent and hand another package to Makoto.
"This is from me."
"Oh! This is what I was waiting for!! I mean, give it to me first!!"
Sorry, I just wanted to play a little prank.
"Well, that's all the business I had. I'm going home. Good luck with practice."
As I said that and started heading home, Makoto called out to stop me.
"Wait, since you came all this way, I'll at least treat you to a coffee. It was cold, right?"
"I have my part-time job time, so I can't afford to relax."
Though I'd love to talk slowly.
"I see, thanks for coming all this way."
"It's fine, see ya later."
"Yeah, got it."
Silence flows between the two of us.
It seems we are thinking the same thing.
"Go on ahead, your break time will be over."
"Kanna, you should go ahead. You have your job time, right?"
"But..."
I'm always the one seeing him off, right?
I want to watch until the end.
Watching that back as he leaves is my role.
But Makoto was thinking the same thing.
"It's rare that I get to see Kanna's back as she leaves. Let me do it for once."
"...I understand."
Saying so, I start pedaling my bicycle. Makoto watched my back until I truly disappeared from sight.
How do I know?
Because I also looked back occasionally to confirm.
No matter how far apart we are, our hearts are always together.
That much, I swear.
I can see only Makoto.
After returning from my job and taking a breath, I prepare dinner and eat alone.
I take a bath and study alone.
Toya and the others are probably getting along well together.
University advancement...
I hadn't thought about it.
I was told the results of the previous mock exam weren't bad, though.
I wonder what Makoto will do?
Makoto is very attentive.
He calls me every day.
It was just about that time.
Today as well, the smartphone's ringtone echoes.
"Hello."
"Ah, Kanna. It's me, me."
I know just by hearing his voice.
Since we're at it, should I ask Makoto?
"Hey, Makoto. Have you thought about your path after graduation?"
"Eh? We're still first-years, right? I haven't thought about it. Right now, I'm full up with club activities."
That's true.
I'm also full up with my part-time job.
"That's true."
"What's wrong? Did those two say something to you?"
"Airi told me to go to the local university together. My mock exam results weren't bad either."
"I see. So what does Kanna want to do?"
"I don't even know what I want to do myself. Makoto, you won't go to the local university, right? When I think about us being separated even at university..."
"They say that even if you're far apart, your hearts are always together. Besides, it's not that far."
Saying so, Makoto laughs.
That's true, it wouldn't be that different from now.
"Hey, Kanna. Even if I do advance, it'll be a private university. A local one."
"I see."
He's probably aiming for a sports recommendation slot.
It's not that far.
That's what he wants to say, right?
"If it's okay with Kanna, when we go to university, do you want to live together?"
Huh?
What is this man saying?
"O-of course, I'll manage the living expenses myself. By working a part-time job or..."
"Do you even have that kind of leeway while playing soccer?"
"Is it a no...?"
It seems he really hadn't thought about anything.
But the feeling makes me happy.
"You said it yourself, right? Even if we're apart, our hearts are together. Don't worry. Just showing your face occasionally is fine. I'll think about whether to advance for a while longer. However, no matter what choice I make, I want to be with Makoto."
"I understand."
"Thank you, I feel like I've become a bit more relaxed."
"In the end, you were worrying about me."
"Well, I was also curious about Makoto's path."
No matter how far apart they are, the two hearts are together.
He is always watching over me.
If we can meet occasionally, that's enough.
Makoto will come to see me.
Once I graduate high school, it'll be possible for me to go see him too.
Thinking that made me feel relaxed.
Then, isn't it fine to stay as we are until now?
"I've decided... I'll try for the local university."
"Is it okay to decide that so easily?"
"I actually agonized over it quite a bit."
"I see, do your best."
"Thank you, it's thanks to Makoto."
Should I cut back on my job hours?
The dream I finally found.
It's not really something you'd call a dream, though.
But I found the direction I should head in.
All that's left is to make the effort to realize it.
Click.
Looks like Mom came home.
"Sorry, Makoto. Looks like Mom's home. See you tomorrow."
"Yeah, do your best, Kanna."
"Thank you."
After hanging up the phone, I greeted Mom.
"Welcome home, Mother. I have something to talk about."
"I'm home. What is it? Suddenly becoming so formal."
"I want to go to university. The local university..."
"...I see. You'll have to study hard, then."
"Thank you. I'll try my best just once. If that doesn't work, I'll work."
"Yes, do as you wish."
Thank you, Mother.
I thank Mother from the bottom of my heart.
I convey that determination to Airi and the others as well.
A reply came back immediately.
"I'll support you, so let's do our best together."
In the end, the three of us are always together.
That's not bad either.
After finishing the preparation for Mother's meal, I faced my desk alone.
(3)
February 15th
The anniversary of the fourth year since Airi and I started dating.
That night, the two of us were studying alone.
While chatting.
Today's topic was about Kanna.
"Kanna has started studying proactively, hasn't she? I wonder what happened?"
Airi says.
I don't know what happened, but there's no doubt that Makoto was the catalyst.
After class ends, she asks Airi or me about parts she doesn't understand.
The sudden message that arrived from Kanna last night.
"I'm taking the local university exam."
It was truly sudden.
The two of us looked at each other.
Well, if she's become motivated, then that's fine.
I can't afford to lose either.
After all, it would be a disaster if I failed.
While quickly finishing homework and reviewing past questions and mock exams, I noticed that Airi's pen had stopped.
What's wrong?
Something making you anxious again?
"Makoto-kun said that even if he advances, he'll take the Private University exam, right?"
"Seems so."
He's probably aiming for a sports recommendation.
"'Seems so' is not an answer! The two of them will be separated again! You should worry about him!"
"Those two will be fine. Even if they're separated, it'll probably take less than 30 minutes by car, right?"
"That's true, but."
"Those two probably have some kind of bond that we don't have."
"We don't have one? A bond?"
"We do."
If I said we didn't, Airi would either be furious or depressed again.
I think it's just that the type is different, and the depth of the bond or things like that don't change.
We also have a convenient tool called a smartphone.
Once we graduate high school, we can use a convenient tool called a car.
"Hmm..."
Airi is still spinning her pen and pouting, lost in thought.
Does even the intelligent Airi have worries?
Well, there's probably no human without worries.
I was told my worries were trivial things, but Airi also worries about quite trivial things.
This time is probably that sort of thing.
That said, I can't just leave her like this, so I speak to her.
"What's wrong?"
Airi's worry was indeed a trivial thing.
"Lately, Toya-kun has been awfully detached. You've really been strange since last month."
I replied to Airi's worry with a smile.
"It's thanks to Airi. If I'm worrying, Airi will help me, right? Thinking that made me feel relaxed. If I'm lost, I'll rely on Airi. In exchange, when Airi is worrying, I'll worry with her. Once I thought that, I think I stopped being shaken by tiny worries."
Airi listens in silence to my words.
When you know there's someone to push you forward, you feel quite relaxed.
Like, since she says it's okay, it's fine, right?
I think people can become strong just by having someone they can depend on, a place where they can rest.
If you're tired, you can just rest; if you're about to break, you can just rely on them.
Though I think depending on them constantly isn't good.
I heard in an old drama that the character for 'person' (人) is formed by supporting each other.
Perhaps it's a strength that exists because there's someone to stay close to, someone to support you.
"Well, I guess what you're worrying about now is that we're studying on our anniversary?"
"Toya-kun has become strong."
Airi said in one word.
It seems there's still some anxiety.
Is it that anxious that I'm thinking deeply?
"Airi, once you decide to walk the same path as me, you go straight ahead without looking aside, right? Kanna is the same once she decided to go to university, right?"
"Yeah."
"I'm the same. Because I decided to walk the same path as Airi, I have no hesitation. Because I have no hesitation, my field of vision widens. That's just why it looks detached."
"Yeah... Toya-kun finally noticed, didn't he? My existence."
"Maybe..."
"Ahhh. If the mood is going to be like this, I should have prepared my overnight bag."
What is this girl starting to say?
"What are you suddenly talking about?"
"Because, that's just how I'm feeling~"
"I'll let you depend on me this weekend."
"Let me depend on you... Toya-kun, do you not have that intention?"
Of course I do!
I'm still a healthy 16-year-old boy.
You said it yourself, right?
"This mood"...
I know that much myself.
Do you know how much effort it takes to dare to ignore that mood?
"Now is the time to concentrate on studying, right?"
When I said that, I wonder what Airi thought.
She starts tidying up the study tools.
And then, one word.
"I'm going home."
Eh?
Did I say something bad?
I messed up again.
And on our anniversary.
No, usually people mess up on special days, but...
I grab the hand of Airi, who is trying to leave the room briskly.
"Let go."
She's not crying. Is she angry?
Should I have acted according to my desires instead of deciding on study time?
It's not too late even now, right?
I stand up and hug Airi.
"Wait, Airi. I'm sorr—"
"The one who should wait is Toya-kun."
Heh?
Airi's expression is bright.
And her cheeks are flushed.
I hope it's not...
It was exactly that.
"I'll go get a change of clothes. Let's spend tonight together."
She really is a girl who says outrageous things.
"We have school tomorrow, right? Even Airi-mama won't allow it!"
When I said that, Airi took her smartphone and called home.
"Hello? Rie-chan? I'm staying over at Toya-kun's house today. Eh? I'll go back to get a change of clothes now... yeah. I understand."
The call ended in a few dozen seconds.
Judging by Airi's words and tone, permission was probably granted.
What is Airi-mama thinking?
I mean, doesn't Airi-papa say anything?
"Papa-san said, 'U-um... be careful.'"
That's strange! That's wrong, Papa-san!
I also think it's questionable that my own parents have no resistance to letting two teenagers of the opposite sex be alone together until this hour, but he's the parent of a daughter of that age.
Shouldn't he be a little stricter?
Parents, yes, parents!?
Should I pin my slight hope on them?
"Without getting my parents' consent..."
Huh? They're not here.
No way...!!
I rush downstairs.
As expected, there was Airi explaining the situation to my parents.
"That's fine. However, you have school tomorrow, so don't stay up too late."
"I'm counting on you for Toya..."
"Yes."
This conversation makes it seem like my thinking is the one that's strange.
When Mom finds me, she says one thing.
"Toya, if you intend to go to university, you know, right? Do things properly. Just don't do anything irreversible."
If you understand that much, stop it, Mom.
"What are you panicking about now, Toya? It's not like you two just started dating yesterday or today, right? You probably know each other well, so Father and I won't interfere."
Know each other well... huh.
It's something I've only realized recently.
But there might still be an Airi I don't know.
Even I have secrets I haven't told Airi.
I don't know if Airi will accept them.
But maybe it's okay to tell her now?
Is it even something worth mentioning now?
Eh, it's in the past. Just forget it.
"What's wrong? Suddenly spacing out."
Ah, I was doing it again.
It's been happening a lot lately.
"It's nothing."
While I was saying that, Airi returned.
"Huh? Toya-kun, you didn't go back to your room?"
Airi, holding her uniform and bag, seemed surprised.
"I'm going back now."
Saying so, I push Airi's back.
"Hey, Airi."
"Whaaat?"
I speak to Airi, who is clinging to me in bed.
"If you could turn back time, what time would you want to return to?"
"Heh?"
"If you could start over, how far back would you want to go?"
"I don't really have one~ I mean, I might want to go back to before I fought with Toya-kun and start over, but I think the present exists because we fought and clashed our true feelings. Now it's a good memory. I don't think there's anything I want to start over."
"I see."
Past mistakes are also good memories.
I wonder if a time will come when I can think that way too...
The event that happened when I was in first year of middle school.
That mistake I couldn't even tell Airi.
"Does Toya-kun have one?"
Airi asks back.
What should I do?
Should I confess?
...
"I do."
"Eh?"
Airi's expression clouds over.
"...Can I ask?"
"You can, but..."
Please don't hate me...
"I think that was first year of middle school..."
.........
......
...
When I finished telling everything, Airi hugs me.
"It's okay. Toya-kun is not at fault!"
"Thank you."
I was crying in Airi's chest.
"It was painful, wasn't it. Toya-kun had a time like that too. I'm sorry I couldn't notice."
Just being accepted like this now makes me happy.
I hug Airi.
Just like that, we fall asleep.
It goes without saying that Kanna, who came to the room the next morning, was left speechless.