Chapter 75 - Over and Over Again
(１)
"Good morning, Toya-kun~"
Airi's voice was bouncy.
But today is a home-study day.
There's no reason for her to be here at 8:00, right?
"And so, I'll see you again in an hour."
Leaving those words behind, I was going to go back to sleep. Or so I thought...
"Honestly, always, always..."
I could hear the sound of footsteps approaching.
She's going to try something.
I braced myself. But she didn't do anything.
Huh?
I opened my eyes and looked for Airi.
Then I saw Airi and Kanna sitting in their usual spots, starting to study.
Huh?
"Hey, Airi. What does this mean?"
"Ah, that's..."
The two of them were studying together.
Lately, it seems Airi has learned how to teach others.
Wait, this isn't the time to be impressed.
Studying together?
Studying while ignoring me, the owner of the room?
I was too bothered to sleep.
I silently sat up.
"Oh? Weren't you going to sleep for another hour?"
"...I'm going to get some food."
As I left the room, I heard the two of them giggling.
Ah, so that was the strategy this time.
One thing bothered me while they were studying.
Kanna aside, just how much luggage does Airi have?
A sports bag packed to the brim.
What's inside?
Yeah, I'm probably right.
Better not ask.
I don't want to do something like stepping on a landmine.
Perhaps noticing that my gaze was fixed on the luggage, Airi was smirking.
Did you notice? Come on, you can ask whenever you like. I'll answer you.
I won't fall for that.
If I ask, it's the end.
No, even without asking, the moat has probably already been filled in.
They say you should fill in the outer moat first, but I feel like I've already been filled in from the inside.
Rather, the castle gates are wide open and in a state of "welcome anytime."
My final resistance.
I deliberately refuse to play along.
But such resistance was futile.
"Hey, Toya-kun."
Airi, having lost her patience, spoke to me.
"Ah, Kanna. Did you properly submit your class placement preferences for second year? You didn't make any mistakes, right?"
"It's fine. More importantly, it looks like Airi has something she wants to say."
I've been abandoned.
There are only enemies left in this house.
"Toya-kun?"
That's right, at times like this, I should listen to music. Television is just distracting, but I heard music has a relaxing effect.
"Heeey."
What would be good? Come to think of it, I have that music box CD from a certain anime company I bought at a tourist spot long ago.
Wait, some kind of scary aura started drifting over.
"Listen to my song!"
An aura that seemed to say exactly that.
While I continued my futile struggling, the finishing blow came from an unexpected place.
"Toya? I heard Airi-chan is staying over for three days starting today, so clean up your room a bit."
Mother's voice came from outside the room after a knock.
Airi, triumphant.
Kanna, smirking.
It's over. Everything is over.
No, it's not that I have a resistance to Airi staying over.
It's exactly as Kanna's line goes: "After showing off that kind of thing, what are you panicking about now?"
Then, what is the problem?
It's not that I dislike Airi.
She seems like a psychopath, but I pride myself on the fact that we are "two people who love each other."
I believe I've made up my mind to accept everything about Airi.
As proof, I told Airi everything.
As a result, Airi accepted me.
What more could I possibly want?
What am I complaining about when I understand all that?
I don't mind spending three days with her.
But, there are nights when a guy just wants to spend some time alone, right?
Any man would understand, right?
For example, times when I want to watch the DVDs I got from Makoto.
Times when I want to watch videos that I can't leave in the PC's search history.
"Just make do with your girlfriend," they say.
Some great person once said...
That a girlfriend and that are different things.
Well, it's too late to say anything now.
Far from the gates being opened, I feel like I've been betrayed by my own confidant.
It seems the time I spent thinking about various things was a bit too long.
Airi's expression became stern.
"Do you hate sleeping with me?"
Of course not.
If there is a sage who could say such a thing in an environment where both parents have consented to a boy in the peak of puberty sleeping with his girlfriend, I'd like to meet him.
I'd like to meet him and talk for about an hour.
Whether she felt anxious or displeased because I hadn't said a word for a while...
Airi made a sad face.
If it were now, there would surely be a flood of boys thinking they could win her over.
It seemed Kanna was equally irritated that I wasn't saying anything.
A gaze close to a threat pierced through me, telling me to say something.
If things continue like this, it might become the worst-case scenario.
I just have to say one thing: "Actually, you're welcome."
Why can't I say it?
I agonized.
At that moment, Airi stood up smoothly.
Was she going to say, "I'm going home"?
This is bad.
"Airi, listen! It's not that I hate it or anything...!?"
Airi placed her right index finger against my lips and smiled.
What happened?
Both Kanna and I focused on Airi's action.
"I already know."
Huh?
"Sorry, I just wanted to see Toya-kun be troubled."
Eh?
Was this a prank?
I don't know what she knows.
"Toya-kun is weak in these kinds of situations. Even though you're fine when it's just the two of us."
No, no. I'm troubled when you do things like this when it's just the two of us, too.
Wait, has Airi's character changed?
What is the current situation?
Let me organize this a bit.
Airi is staying at my house during the three days of home-study.
And I tried desperately to resist.
But I wasn't seriously rejecting her.
Just when I thought Airi was getting angry, she made a mysterious statement.
...Someone tell me, what on earth should I do?
I think you should just laugh.
I remember that being a line from somewhere.
"Ha, haha..."
I made the best forced laugh I could.
Airi smiled with satisfaction, as if she had caught her prey.
I felt a sense of terror toward the creature known as a girl.
"...Hmm."
I wonder what Kanna was thinking.
She returned to studying.
"Now, let's study, okay?"
When Airi said that, I silently nodded.
(２)
"Toya-kun."
"What?"
It was the usual pillow talk.
"You're probably not thinking about it again, are you? March 14th."
Eh? ...Ah!
"Sorry..."
"I thought it would be something like that. Are you thinking about Kanna's?"
"Ah, I was thinking maybe the usual would be fine...?"
Surely a surprise isn't necessary for Kanna.
The problem is Airi.
At this point, surprises are out the window.
I racked my brain.
"Then, can I make a suggestion?"
Situationally, this is convenient.
Because I no longer have to worry about what Airi wants.
As long as she doesn't make an unreasonable request.
"Please give me Toya-kun! ...though I've already got you."
For a moment, my heart leaped.
Airi was laughing.
What is this?
They say love changes a person, but does it change the personality itself?
"It's something convenient for Toya-kun, you know?"
I'd be grateful if that were truly the case.
But I have nothing but bad feelings.
Ah, I should have bought perfume, or a bracelet, or a necklace, or even a pair of matching rings for the ring finger of the right hand.
"You know, I'll help you pick out Kanna's present too~"
Her tone had returned to the usual Airi, but the statement felt ominous.
Please, go back to the usual Airi.
"I don't intend to pick something that grand... is that a no~?"
That expression is unfair, Airi.
A lovely expression that I think would bring any man down in one shot.
"It's not a no. Having a girl pick it out might not be a bad idea. And that will be Airi's present."
Thump.
She flicked my forehead.
"Of course not. After that, let me eat something delicious."
Eh? Did "let me eat" just come out of Airi's mouth?
From the Airi who had scolded me so much for "eating too much."
"Is that a no?"
I easily fell for Airi's cute closing lines every single time.
"I get it."
"Make sure you look for a place. I'll be angry if you say a ramen shop."
...I wonder if champon would be okay?
Well, the shopping is at the mall, so I can just look for a shop there.
"Got it."
"Yay~"
It seems she returned to her original personality.
"But is that really okay? Something that leaves a memory..."
"Being with Toya-kun is the memory~"
I see, is that enough?
No, there's no way that's enough.
Maybe I should borrow some of my allowance in advance?
"You don't have to force yourself to get something expensive~"
She beat me to the punch.
This was troubling in a different sense.
And, I wonder if I should just honestly obey and say, "Yes, is that so?"
"I'm serious. I'm seriously satisfied with the current situation. The thing Toya-kun confessed to me that night. I've properly accepted it."
"I know that."
"Toya-kun knows my bad habits, right? Like, being selfish, or sulking immediately..."
"That hasn't been happening lately, has it?"
That was something I'd felt since the start of the year.
"Do you think I'm naggy?"
"No."
"Then it's fine..."
Did she realize it herself?
And is that why she's anxious?
"Airi, I think everything about you is cute. I think that's probably because I've accepted you. Including the bad parts. That won't change in the future."
"Really?"
"Yeah. You told me, right? That 'I've changed.' That's what I mean."
"I'm so glad~"
Affection that missed each other, taking a detour for four years.
But even on a detour, it will eventually reach its destination, little by little. To that thing called unchanging love.
I didn't think I'd reach unchanging love in my first year of high school, though.
"Toya-kun really has changed. You're thinking something wonderful right now."
H-how do you know?
"I can tell by looking at Toya-kun's face. The way you look at me is incredibly gentle."
"Is there anyone who can't make a gentle expression in this situation?"
"Someone in class said it. That there are people who smoke a cigarette and go to the shower immediately after having sex."
Where does she get this kind of information?
"That's why Toya-kun is a gentle person. And you're thinking something wonderful right now."
"Airi has changed too."
Though I'm fed up with the sudden transformations she shows occasionally.
"Is that in a good way?"
"Of course."
"I'm so glad~"
Airi was happy.
"A-Airi. You should put on clothes."
"Huh?"
"Kanna might come again in the morning, right?"
"I'll wake up before that, so it's fine~"
Has she forgotten that the other day she overslept and let me see something outrageous?
"That time, I was so surprised by Toya-kun's coming out that I couldn't sleep until morning,"
Airi said, looking awkward.
"I'll wake up properly this time, so let me stay like this."
"Just don't catch a cold..."
Saying that, I covered Airi with the duvet and clung tightly to her.
I also turned on the heater.
Leaving it on is supposedly bad, but I set the timer, so it should be fine.
I turned off the lights.
In the pitch black, I whispered softly.
"Good night."
"Yeah, good night."
(３)
Around the time the sun was setting, we had come to the shopping mall.
Airi was quite dressed up.
There are quite a few couples who come to shop.
Is it the feeling of "I'll buy you whatever you like, so pick something"?
I feel like there are many couples where the woman holds the initiative in shopping.
Perhaps they are picking out a return gift for a friend, just like we are.
I headed straight for the candy section without hesitation, but Airi stopped me.
"Think about it a little!" Airi said.
Eh, but I looked it up online, you know?
It said candy is the safest bet.
Airi said nothing and went to the accessories section and began browsing.
It's just a courtesy gift, so we don't have to pick it so seriously...
"Yeah, this is good!"
What Airi chose was a single handkerchief.
"Yeah, this is the one. Toya-kun, buy this," Airi said, pushing the handkerchief suspiciously hard.
Is it something Airi wants?
Let's see...
"If you want one too, Airi, I'll buy you something?"
Airi shook her head.
"It's okay, I'm being treated to a meal, and above all, it's rare that I can go shopping like this with Toya-kun."
"I see, if that's the case, then it's fine."
"Hurry up and buy it."
I lined up at the register.
I had it wrapped. I bought the handkerchief.
"Kanna will definitely be happy."
Is that how it is?
Well, their personalities are somewhat different, but since a girl of the same age is saying it, it must be right.
I wonder if I should buy one for Airi after all?
Thinking that, I picked up a bath set.
"Did you get one from someone else?" Airi asked, tilting her head.
"No, I thought I'd buy one for you too, Airi."
"I told you I'd be fine if you just let me eat a meal. Really, that's all I need."
Saying that, Airi put the bath set back.
"Let's go, I'm hungry."
The restaurant I chose was a Western-style place that focused on omurice.
Airi had omurice, and I had omurice, pasta, pizza, and...
"Toya-kun, you're eating too much!"
"I thought we'd share the pizza."
"Hmm, I can't tell who's treating whom."
Airi looked exasperated.
Since we came all this way, we have to eat delicious things.
After that, the things we ordered arrived, and Airi and I ate them.
Airi seemed happy, perhaps satisfied with the atmosphere of the shop.
Chatting and laughing, Airi and I enjoyed the meal.
Once our stomachs were full and we finished our juice, we paid the bill and left the shop.
"That was delicious," Airi seemed satisfied.
"I'm glad you enjoyed it," I said, breathing a sigh of relief.
"It was the same with Christmas the other day, but I was thinking that a meal like this once in a while is okay~."
I see, she wanted to enjoy the atmosphere.
In that case, should I have looked for a more stylish shop?
"If you'd told me that, I would have chosen a different shop."
"This place was enough. Anything more will have to wait until we're adults and can enjoy alcohol."
She seemed to be in a good mood.
Good, if I had chosen a conveyor-belt sushi place or a ramen shop, she would have been furious.
But was this really enough?
Wouldn't something that leaves a physical form have been better?
Should I ask the high-spirited Airi?
"Wouldn't something that leaves a physical form have been better?"
Airi smiled and said.
"You don't get it. Toya-kun, memories leave a form too. If it's something that makes those memories a point of pride, then that's enough. Let's keep making them from now on. So that we can be proud of our memories. An unchanging love."
I see.
Memories, huh.
Come to think of it, we took a lot of photos.
Well, if Airi is happy, then that's fine.
Making Airi happy was the goal from the start.
The goal was achieved, so let's say it was good.
Good memories and sad memories, over and over again.
Even so, I want to be able to love things exactly as they are.
I want to become that way.
So that one day I can reach an unchanging love.
"Well then, shall we go to Kanna's house? We have to give her the present."
Our high school life has only just begun.